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Post by Darcy Collins on Jun 13, 2024 12:45:50 GMT
snyder just curious because I am trying to figure out why my mom has such a problem with this. But why did you all roll your eyes when she went vegan? I watched the documentary Vegucated. It was interesting. One of the people who she did the experiment with was a young adult who lived at home with her parents. And she got really upset saying that she probably wouldn't stay a vegan because her family, her friends made it so difficult for her. That is in addition to the fact that they often picked restaurants too where there weren't vegan friendly options to eat. Now I know that everyone is not going to share my mindset and I certainly don't expect them to. Like tonight, I'm happy to bring my own food. I'm happy to bring my own food anywhere. But why would people be bothered by this? Or why would people not be as supportive as they could be? I was in college when I became a vegetarian and absolutely had the rolled eye response from my family. Looking back 30 years later, I really think it was because they saw it as a commentary on them - even though it wasn't. You should expect that people will think you're judging them, even though you're not, it's a pretty typical response in my experience. There's always some just ignorance, will never forget the time my uncle was surprised that I wouldn't eat the beef & broccoli stir fry. I mean just eat the broccoli  |
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 13, 2024 13:58:29 GMT
I am not surprised! Jeremy has always been such a great partner for you. You are BOTH lucky.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 13, 2024 14:13:12 GMT
I really think it was because they saw it as a commentary on them - even though it wasn't. I can see how this might be with many people, but truthfully, my mom, my sister, everyone is always concerned about weight. My mom is overweight a bit (she's 70, though) and I know it bothers her. My sis I would guess is almost underweight. She's 6 inches taller than me too, but anxiety works on her so bad, she doesn't eat. Meanwhile I have fought with my own weight for so many years it's crazy. I *know* my mom would be happier if I lost weight. With weight being such a big deal for her (vanity reasons which don't even register for me) I don't get why she wouldn't be 100% behind something that might help me lose weight. Not that my mom's thinking always makes any kind of logical sense. LOL! ETA: I wonder if what you said is what was driving snyder. I'd like her to comment. |
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,302 
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Post by pantsonfire on Jun 13, 2024 14:37:32 GMT
snyder just curious because I am trying to figure out why my mom has such a problem with this. But why did you all roll your eyes when she went vegan? I watched the documentary Vegucated. It was interesting. One of the people who she did the experiment with was a young adult who lived at home with her parents. And she got really upset saying that she probably wouldn't stay a vegan because her family, her friends made it so difficult for her. That is in addition to the fact that they often picked restaurants too where there weren't vegan friendly options to eat. Now I know that everyone is not going to share my mindset and I certainly don't expect them to. Like tonight, I'm happy to bring my own food. I'm happy to bring my own food anywhere. But why would people be bothered by this? Or why would people not be as supportive as they could be? Control. And lack of being in control over how one does something. Their own inner thoughts about their own mindset. Jealousy. Feeling like they have to go along with it. Not doing it the way *they* want it to happen. Their own insecurities. I could write a darn book about the issues between dh, his weight, and his parents. Slight background, dh wanted to be an Air Force pilot. His dad knew he wanted to fly. So as an "incentive" to loose weight, he got flying lessons as a gift to try and get dh to loose weight as he was slightly over the limit. He got mad and upset and gained more weight so his dad took his brother instead. 😬🫠 Another time he got workout clothes as a Christmas gift. That was it. Oh wait and some weights. 🙄 Any time dh talked about what he was doing to loose weight, his parents would put him down. His mom is a HUGE narcissist. His dad verbally and emotionally abused him growing up, even as an adult. (I witnessed it first hand when over at his home) I am not saying this is your family btw. Just giving an example of what people do/say. I have learned over the years that there will always be people who just don't like what another does because it doesn't follow their path in their mind. Or they see it as an inconvenience and don't want to do small things to support because they suck as a human and go why should *I* have to do xyz when they are the ones who want to do it?! Society is so conditioned to follow a specific path that when others veer off the path people go crazy. I mean I witnessed it with a friend whose did holistic cancer treatment. They knew it wasn't a cure but they didn't want to die being poisoned. Some friends could not believe they wouldn't want to fight to be around for their spouse. This type of cancer is extremely hard to overcome so they just wanted to enjoy their life, have energy, and not tied to medical needs. I felt so bad for him when he had to hear what others said. There has always been push back for those who go against the grain of society. Those who support truly make the difference. And sorry this got long |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 13, 2024 15:34:50 GMT
Control. And lack of being in control over how one does something. Their own inner thoughts about their own mindset. Jealousy. Feeling like they have to go along with it. Not doing it the way *they* want it to happen. Their own insecurities. I totally get all this. I think your logic is sound. But what a huge bunch of bullshit, isn't it? When I meet someone different than me or who does things different than I do, I get curious. Not defensive. I want to know why they do what they do. Because if changing, implementing things that are working for them, results in a positive, why wouldn't I want to change? At the very least, I listen and understand why they do what they do even if I still go, meh, not for me. |
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Jun 13, 2024 16:00:59 GMT
He's awesome!
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,718
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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Post by hannahruth on Jun 13, 2024 20:31:47 GMT
Love love love love love!! Your dh wants you to be happy and healthy and with him. Girl you got a winner 🏆 Could not have said it better. One very lucky lady. |
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snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,350
Location: Colorado
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Post by snyder on Jun 13, 2024 21:49:28 GMT
snyder just curious because I am trying to figure out why my mom has such a problem with this. But why did you all roll your eyes when she went vegan? I watched the documentary Vegucated. It was interesting. One of the people who she did the experiment with was a young adult who lived at home with her parents. And she got really upset saying that she probably wouldn't stay a vegan because her family, her friends made it so difficult for her. That is in addition to the fact that they often picked restaurants too where there weren't vegan friendly options to eat. Now I know that everyone is not going to share my mindset and I certainly don't expect them to. Like tonight, I'm happy to bring my own food. I'm happy to bring my own food anywhere. But why would people be bothered by this? Or why would people not be as supportive as they could be? It was such a drastic change. If she had gradually made the change over like you have been doing, I don't think it would have been the eye roll, but one day she is eating a burger and the next day she won't even touch honey because that is made by an animal. Also, it was about 10 years ago or more that she made the switch and there wasn't much information on it for "us" to be educated. I don't know why people are bothered by this. Its not a big deal to us how anyone eats. My family is pretty fleixble and accepting of all. There still may be a comment here and there behind closed doors like how can she not like meat; God gave us meat to eat, but its not like they rub it in her face or make her feel uncomfortable. And yes, every now and then, someone shares a vegan joke or meme with her. She's good natured and takes it with a grain of salt. A couple of months ago, we had a family celebration at a restaurant and I was the planner. I called ahead of time and asked her if there was anything there she could eat and she told me that most all restaurants these days do cater to vegan/vegetarian and she can almost always find something to eat. She will look at a menu ahead of time and if there is something she thinks she would like but its not clear if it fits vegan, she will call the restaurant and ask.
I think knowing she is eating different than most and makes it clear we don't have to go out of our way for just her really helps the family be accepting of her food preferences. My sister really makes sure she's taken care of and included. We did BBQ catered for Easter and I called to find out the ingredients in things and was told she could eat the dinner rolls, baked beans, green beans and the garden salad. She was fine with just that, but my sister went to the grocery store and bought her some type of vegan BBQ meat substitute. I hope your family comes arond for ya. Everyone I know that eats at least a whole food diet feels so much better overall.
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Post by flanz on Jun 14, 2024 2:22:08 GMT
He's a keeper - and lucky to have you too!
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peasquared
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,768
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Post by peasquared on Jun 15, 2024 0:04:58 GMT
He deserves to be bragged about! What a lovely couple you two are. So kind and considerate!  |
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Post by gramasue on Jun 15, 2024 13:36:35 GMT
Awww, my heart just did a little flip-flop! ♥
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