Handling differing political views in a relationship?

I'd start with those 2 sentences. I'm trying to understand your point of view on this. I feel it's a barrier between us and I'd like to breach it.

as someone who also has an opposite political view from her DH this is where I would go. It's not about the fact that he's politically opposite from you, it's about the fact that you feel there's a wall between you because of it that you need to address.

I could not stay married to Trump supporter because if he was one, that would mean he had changed in a very fundamental way that does not align with who I am or the man I married.

When I married many years ago I was not as aware of politics as I am now. I guess I grew up in a time where politics were not a woman’s thing. I was definitely more conservative then. Life experiences, travel, seeing that other countries can be as great as America and seeing that they are actually better when it comes to benefits for their people has certainly changed me. I guess both my husband and I grew together. I would not have been horribly upset if he had voted for Bush or McCain but if he were to vote or support the former idiot I don’t think my opinion and respect for him would be the same. All the people I know who support Trump are angry people, many of them are privileged and live well yet they become so angry at the thought that someone else is getting some benefit that they are not. And them some of them are religious people yet they they are happy to deny people healthcare. I don’t know what I would do in a situation like the OP described.

We don't discuss it period.  

Edited to add: When we were first married politics wasn't even in our vocabulary.  And really wasn't for the majority of our lives.  I voted for who I liked and he wasn't registered nor did he care.  Somewhere along the lines he would start complaining about little things and I said you have no room to complain because you don't even vote. So then at some point he registered.  Still wasn't a thing in our marriage.  

I swear the breaking point was Trump.  He has not only divided the country he's made people's personal lives divided.  

I truly believe in our country you should be able to vote for whoever you want to without prejudice. (which these days is hard considering who is running).  So in our house, a little bit said here and there is all that is said because my threshold is right there and I immediately start fuming when he attempts to justify Trump.  Although he says less and less about him.  We (me and kids) are hopefully turning him around.. SLOWLY.. lol

My DH isn't a registered Republican but his political views leaned that way when I first met him. When T was first elected, DH was among the throng saying "let's just give him a chance" to my disgust, having no difficulty seeing through his stupidity, lies, cruelty and chaos. We stopped talking about politics, because DH's love of playing devil's advocate sent me over the edge. As time has passed, DH now sees T as the living shit show he is and we are definitely on the same page.

My father is a Fox junkie and even though he was always socially liberal, he voted his business interests. And he has bought into the Fox agenda that millions of black and brown people are converging on the US to start a campaign of crime and destruction.

We have agreed to disagree on politics and to not discuss them, even though sometimes he'll try to bait me.

None of this really answers your question, but I've found that time has worn down my edges a little bit, and I've backed off my political fervor, just for my own health and peace of mind. It was literally causing me health problems. I've learned to be less reactive and to realize I don't have to discuss politics with everyone, especially if it's going to be divisive.

I had a male bff who when we met, didn’t vote or give a hoot about politics. As others have said, I told him you can’t complain. Then “he” happened and bff started paying attention. Every conversation became an argument; he tried to make me feel stupid bc I didn’t have the nitty gritty details about an event/topic. Then would kitchen sink any topic to be able to broaden the insults to me. We eventually agreed to not discuss politics. He has now found a gf who shares his thinking, and we are not as close. The one thing we agreed on is how can someone I care so much about have such stupid opinions?

Set ground rules and good luck.

I could not, would not stay married to a Trump supporter.

Being a Trump supporter says too much about their overall character and views on right and wrong.

We are on opposite sides, and I hate it. Like others who have mentioned here, we never used to talk politics when we first got married. We knew we were both Democrats, and we both had zero interest in politics. Over time though, DH started to feel more strongly about his money and who might be getting it. He had a close acquaintance years ago who was/is just a deadbeat…getting medical assistance and working the system to get all the free handouts he can. It really angered him and made him pay closer attention to politics overall. THEN he became a truck driver and I swear they are all conservatives and he suddenly was surrounded by them. Uggghhh, did I mention how much I hate it?!

He thinks Trump is the only one who can save the country. He wants to keep immigrants out, wants us to stop giving money to fight other wars, and he wants us to stop giving our tax money to lazy people. He is pro LGBTQ and pro reproductive rights (for the most part).

In the past, we felt it was best to not talk politics at all, because it just made us frustrated. But lately we have been trying to have more open dialogue about how we are feeling about current issues. We have managed to stay completely civil, but I’m getting resentful that I’m put in a position where I have to stay completely current on things and have to have my data to support my feelings and opinions. I have never been one to stay current on political happenings, and it’s really not an interest of mine still, but here I am having to research things every day so if he questions me on some thing, I can have more information.

His parents are political opposites and they do not talk about politics at all. He loves that he and his Dad both love Trump. My brother and SIL used to love Trump until he handled Covid so horribly.

Sorry, I am rambling. I just want the OP know she is not alone. We’ve been married 29 years, and I feel we can survive this. BUT - if he starts to go off the deep end with his love of Trump, I will have to think long and hard if I can stay.

DH does the devil's advocate thing with everything too.  He didn't vote for Trump, but he's blamed some of the moronic things Trump has said on the media taking things out of context.  I am hopeful that if Harris picks the right VP DH will do the unthinkable and vote for a Democrat, but who knows.  I try not to discuss politics, but the man can turn any subject into a political discussion.     

A gree 100%. I don’t have that issue with my family but sometimes I meet new people and if I see they are Trump admirers I have no desire to interact with them

In our younger years, both of us were pretty middle of the road politically and back then it was easier to vote one way or the other for an individual person based on their policies and proposed agenda. In the years since, DH has skewed more toward the right in terms of economic policy but was still fairly liberal in terms of social policy. A lot of his friends are diehard Trump humpers so he hears a lot of the repeated nonsense that Fox, OANN, etc. spew because his friends parrot that crap nonstop. He would bring some of that home and I’d have to set him straight, pointing him to other articles and sources that are more neutral and fact based.

When Trump came on the scene, DH was pretty fed up with both parties and I think he cast what was a protest vote for Trump not thinking he would actually win (he didn’t win our state). I was already repulsed by so much of what Trump said and did before he got elected and was positively apoplectic with all of the lies and things he did after he was elected.

I’m sure I was annoying to DH but whenever Trump did or said something that made the headlines, I made sure to point out just how wrong all of it was. When they pushed through their last SCOTUS judge, that was it and I just knew things were going to go even further south and they did. I made sure that DH realized just how bad all of this was going to be for our kid, and how unfair it is for her to be growing up with fewer rights than we had at her age. I really hammered that point home until he understood that for her, this comes down to an existential battle for her rights as a female. She is our only child and she means the world to him, so for her sake he has come around.

In the last midterms he flat out told me, “Just tell me who to vote for. I know you’ve already done all the research.” 

The extremists have caused so much change in our nation (perhaps the world) with views and actions etc.
I considered myself independent voter and paid more attention to what the candidate was saying about issues rather than party. Eventually things began to change and I considered myself a D while DH maintained that he was a Republican.
When GWBush was running, I asked DH, "Why do you say you are Republican when you align with Ds on these issues?" I listed a lot of things--and I think DH was truly surprised that he was aligning more with Ds. At that time, our community was very R. After that he quit calling himself a Republican.

We never argued about political things. When we knew we disagreed, we just left those topics alone.

I really could not be married to someone who supports DT. It is a concern about honesty, integrity and character. Donald Trump has no redeeming qualities that I can identify.
How he is even considered, by some, to be qualified for POTUS is beyond my comprehension.

I'm a lifelong Democrat raised by lifelong Democrats. DH was more Republican when we met and married almost 40 years ago from a staunch Republican west Texas family. He's more of an independent now. And thankfully he despises DT and would never vote for him. But he wasn't going to vote for Biden and he won't vote for Kamala now. He has voted democrat in presidential elections before. He voted for Obama and Hillary and Biden the first time. He says he's disgusted with all of them and doesn't trust any of them. He's fairly socially liberal but he votes based on the economy. He does usually vote Republican in local elections but he's disgusted with what the Republican party has become. But he thinks the Democrats are just as bad.

Our conversations about it can get heated sometimes and often we just don't discuss it. He's come a long way but I really hope he doesn't just not vote for President. I can't make him understand that's a vote for Trump.

If he was a Trump supporter, I don't think I could stay married to him. That's not about politics. That's about morals and values.

I also have a husband who is registered Republican. He never liked Trump. We laughed about how absurd he was all through 2016 until it became a possibility that our state might go for Trump, which it did. He would have never voted for a Clinton in a million years. Now fortunately, he is also disgusted with Trump and with his party's nominee for Governor in our state. He's looking around for 3rd party candidates. While many think this is throwing your vote away, it actually gains a vote for Democrats in our state because we used to just cancel each other out.

During the 90's we could not talk politics because he hated the Clintons so much. Then we had 16 years where we had very civilized discussions. During the last 8 years, we have talked about politics some. When one of us starts to push the other too far, we back off. We do have common ground on social issues at least which helps. (And BTW, all these Republicans who are worried about their money need to take a close look at the policies of their party.) Since he has sworn off Trump, we've had a lot more common ground and some interesting discussions about all the drama of this election.

I think it is important to know whether you want to talk politics with your husband because you really want to understand him and that is all. Or are you looking for a way to change him? I'm guessing you wouldn't want him trying to change your mind. I live in an area where nearly 80% of the people voted for Trump in the last 2 elections. I don't expect much change this time around either. I have my little circle of people who think like I do and that helps to have somewhere to discuss my views.