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Post by monklady123 on Aug 1, 2024 17:49:41 GMT
I do love my Buy Nothing group. Best way to get rid of items without having to drag it out to Goodwill or somewhere else. And I've met some nice people who I didn't know before BN. However.... there are always some bad apples. -- We just got a bunch of random stuff out of our attic and I'm getting rid of a lot of it. One is a large metal Coleman cooler, the old kind. Old but perfectly usable. No wheels, and handles only on either end, but it's perfect for backyard bbqs or parties. I post it. Three people reply pretty quickly. One says "oh yes please! This would be perfect for my little boy's birthday party this weekend!" Since I didn't know any of the three who replied I picked this woman because it's a little boy's birthday.  I replied under her comment to say "it's yours, I'm messaging you now." I go to Messenger, say hi, give her my address, tell her to let me know when she wants to pick up." Crickets. Four hours later I replied again on the FB post to say "please reply to my messenger message so we can arrange pickup". She actually liked that post. But has she replied yet? ? nope. And she's posted several other things in the BN group within that time so it's not like she's at work and unable to get back to me. In the grand scheme of things this is a small problem to have. But the cooler is large and I want it out of my house. In the time that I've been waiting a fourth person has replied and it's someone who I've dealt with before in BN. I'm giving original lady one more hour and then it's going to person #4 who I know is reliable. The thing that annoys me about some people on BN is how they'll delay and delay and then two days later they'll message to say "oh I'm just seeing this now... can I come pick up this afternoon?" um, no... I've already given it away because that was two days ago and you never got back to me. If someone would just reply and say "thank you, I'd really like this item but I can't pick up until Sunday. If that's not good for you then give it to the next person." In that case I'm likely to say that Sunday is just fine. Just don't ghost the whole thing.  I do keep a blacklist which seems to grow longer every week. ugh What's your Buy Nothing group like? |
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,734 
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Aug 1, 2024 17:56:00 GMT
I block the people who really annoy me. When I have a popular item I will check to see who I've messaged before and if they are reliable.
If you are wanting quick communication I'd say something in your op like if I don't hear back 1 hr after messaging I will move on to the next person. Then restate when you message. I also see lot of people posting must pick up by X.
But yes I hate the slow communicators! I try to state my expectations but I don't always remember.
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 405
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Aug 1, 2024 18:12:57 GMT
I'd just put it on the side of the road with a FREE sign. Someone will pick it up. Anything solid like that goes to the road. Unless you live on a dead-end street or one that doesn't get much traffic. I've tried the Pay It Forward types of groups, and it was too much. People are demanding about free stuff!
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Post by MichyM on Aug 1, 2024 18:24:08 GMT
I just want to add that not everyone checks their messages for "new" messages on a regular basis. I always tag the person in my post FIRST and let them know it's theirs. THEN I'll send the PM. Food for thought.
I actually recently missed out on an item because I didn't check for "new" messages for a few days. I just don't use FB messenger that often.
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Post by KikiPea on Aug 1, 2024 18:34:05 GMT
I left all of the ones I was on. They are super annoying.
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,846
Location: Houston, TX
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Post by smartypants71 on Aug 1, 2024 18:40:27 GMT
I can relate. I had to leave the groups I was in because I just don't have the patience to deal with people. I find I have better luck if I put my stuff at the curb on heavy trash week. People tend to drive around during that time, and I rarely end up with anything actually going into the trash truck.
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Post by cmpeter on Aug 1, 2024 18:52:40 GMT
Mine can be similar. I block the flakes so I don’t deal with them in the future. I would have no hesitation going on to the next person and telling birthday mom the item is gone. I’m gifting for my convenience, not yours. I’m happy if some can get use out of my items otherwise…but I don’t always have time to deal with the flakes.
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Post by monklady123 on Aug 1, 2024 18:55:46 GMT
I just want to add that not everyone checks their messages for "new" messages on a regular basis. I always tag the person in my post FIRST and let them know it's theirs. THEN I'll send the PM. Food for thought. I actually recently missed out on an item because I didn't check for "new" messages for a few days. I just don't use FB messenger that often. Yes, that's what I did. As I said in my post. In my opinion if someone is going to reply on a BN group that they want something then they should be aware that Messenger is the way we do business. At least in my group. You reply to the person who said they want the item, then you message them. If someone doesn't know that (which they should if they read the rules of the group when they joined, but of course we know people don't read ) then I'm happy to give my items to someone else. |
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Post by Linda on Aug 1, 2024 19:02:08 GMT
What's your Buy Nothing group like? I left mine - it was 95% people asking/begging for stuff - often bigger ticket stuff - that they couldn't pickup and would need delivered - and always a sob story about why they didn't have x and needed x and couldn't afford the gas/time to go get x |
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Post by Zee on Aug 1, 2024 19:44:00 GMT
I just want to add that not everyone checks their messages for "new" messages on a regular basis. I always tag the person in my post FIRST and let them know it's theirs. THEN I'll send the PM. Food for thought. I actually recently missed out on an item because I didn't check for "new" messages for a few days. I just don't use FB messenger that often. Yes, that's what I did. As I said in my post. In my opinion if someone is going to reply on a BN group that they want something then they should be aware that Messenger is the way we do business. At least in my group. You reply to the person who said they want the item, then you message them. If someone doesn't know that (which they should if they read the rules of the group when they joined, but of course we know people don't read ) then I'm happy to give my items to someone else. Who would claim something on a Facebook group and then not check their messages for two days? Next. |
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Post by mom on Aug 1, 2024 20:11:07 GMT
My area doesn't have one --- at least, that I can find.
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Post by KiwiJo on Aug 1, 2024 20:12:58 GMT
I wonder, in the OP’s case, if the woman needed to check with her partner when they could pick it up - if she needs help, it might not be her decision alone to decide on a day/time. Of course, it would be so much better if she let you know that she needed to check when someone is available to help her, instead of saying not responding at all.
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Post by monklady123 on Aug 1, 2024 20:17:20 GMT
I wonder, in the OP’s case, if the woman needed to check with her partner when they could pick it up - if she needs help, it might not be her decision alone to decide on a day/time. Of course, it would be so much better if she let you know that she needed to check when someone is available to help her, instead of saying not responding at all. Yes. I'm reasonable. If someone says "thanks! but I don't have the car right now, my dh does, could I pick up tomorrow?" I'm going to say of course they can. But just don't ghost me by not replying at all. |
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Post by Scrapper100 on Aug 1, 2024 20:24:00 GMT
I belong but haven’t used our group but if the person flakes they only get a few chances then are kicked out of the group. You report to the admin. You also have to give to the first to reply unless you state otherwise.
I would be highly annoyed to. I used FB and Craigslist to sell items before our move snd flakes were so annoying and common
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,850
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Aug 1, 2024 20:33:06 GMT
I wonder, in the OP’s case, if the woman needed to check with her partner when they could pick it up - if she needs help, it might not be her decision alone to decide on a day/time. Of course, it would be so much better if she let you know that she needed to check when someone is available to help her, instead of saying not responding at all. IT is even better to discuss this item prior to responding on the free site. Less back & forth between people. |
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Post by jenr on Aug 1, 2024 20:42:09 GMT
Yes, that's what I did. As I said in my post. In my opinion if someone is going to reply on a BN group that they want something then they should be aware that Messenger is the way we do business. At least in my group. You reply to the person who said they want the item, then you message them. If someone doesn't know that (which they should if they read the rules of the group when they joined, but of course we know people don't read ) then I'm happy to give my items to someone else. Who would claim something on a Facebook group and then not check their messages for two days? Next. EXACTLY. The people who really want what they've asked for, check messages. Flakers don't. |
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Post by melanell on Aug 1, 2024 22:19:07 GMT
Yep, our group has those as well. Although I will say that our admin will kick people out if they rack up more than 3 no-show complaints against them.
There are many little things that aggravate me about our group, but while I do take breaks from listing things, I do still appreciate it overall.
Most of the issues stem from my number one complaint in life in the past few years. (#1 based on quantity of complaints) People Do Not Read. They just don't and it drives me batty.
I started off keeping a list of people who made me want to give up listing things to avoid them, but now, as mentioned above, I have started blocking people who were especially irritating.
Also, we have a community FB group, and if someone is an a$$hole over there, I block them, too, which means I don't have to see them in the community group, and I can't accidentally have dealings with them in the Buy Nothing group.
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,734
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Aug 2, 2024 0:07:58 GMT
I belong but haven’t used our group but if the person flakes they only get a few chances then are kicked out of the group. You report to the admin. You also have to give to the first to reply unless you state otherwise. Is it an official Buy Nothing group? Ours has a rule that you should not be doing first to post unless you specifically say that you are flash gifting. They want to give the opportunity for many people to see it versus just whoever's on line at the moment. "Simmering" or letting posts sit for a while is highly encouraged. |
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Post by melanell on Aug 2, 2024 0:32:02 GMT
I belong but haven’t used our group but if the person flakes they only get a few chances then are kicked out of the group. You report to the admin. You also have to give to the first to reply unless you state otherwise. Is it an official Buy Nothing group? Ours has a rule that you should not be doing first to post unless you specifically say that you are flash gifting. They want to give the opportunity for many people to see it versus just whoever's on line at the moment. "Simmering" or letting posts sit for a while is highly encouraged. Ours is an official group, and occasionally we have days where they have simmering contests to try to encourage that, But honestly, if they made simmering a rule, I would likely stop offering items. It's hard enough getting people to respond when you message them right then & there, moments after they've expressed interest. Any time I've let anything simmer it's meant even more delays for me. However, we don't have to choose the first to express interest, either, thank goodness. It's gifter's choice, which is often the best way to get people to actually read your requirements. For example, if you need something gone that very day, you can say you'll only choose someone who can pick it up today. |
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Post by kkrenn on Aug 2, 2024 1:15:56 GMT
I have had enormous success with mine, giving and receiving! My biggest complaint is, although it's clearly stated in the rules, some people will only post "flash" gives. Several of them have been dropped from the group, our admins allow flash gives but it can't be the only way you list items.
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Post by cmpeter on Aug 2, 2024 1:26:33 GMT
Ours says it’s a No Rules BNG so you can give to the first person or choose to wait. I was in another one that wanted you to wait a couple days to “build a sense of community”….not sure how that was supposed to be accomplished to me it just seemed to result in more flakers.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Aug 2, 2024 1:26:52 GMT
Ours is pretty wonderful with admins who stay on top of everything. If they find out someone doesn't live in our town, they boot them. If someone is always a taker, never a giver, they boot them. If they catch someone selling on Marketplace, they boot them. I am also amazed at the wonderful things that people give away that they could easily get hundreds (and in some cases, upwards of $1000) for. I offered 3 pieces of clothing recently and, as usual, let them simmer all day, and the 3 people who *won* them, all picked up the next morning, exactly when they said they would.  Recently a retired gentleman gifted his time. People who needed something done around the house/yard/etc. he would do. Drove people to appointments, ran errands for people. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 2, 2024 3:29:35 GMT
My local group is pretty good. I’ve been the recipient or the giver of nice things multiple times. They encourage letting things simmer but sometimes I just want stuff out the door fast.
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Post by melanell on Aug 2, 2024 11:15:15 GMT
One other thing that I see that drives me nuts is the way people respond to curb alerts. Curb alerts are totally allowable in our group. You can put things on your own curb, or you can post a pic and a block if you happen to drive by a home with things out. And people will say "This is not my house." or they will say "Cleaning out the garage. Items at curb. First come, first serve." And again, people don't read (or their entitlement is ginormous) because they'll start posting "Interested!" over and over, asking for things to be held, etc.  Recently one woman even went so far as to complain that someone else took something she "claimed" (by saying she was interested) off of the pile before she got there and she hoped whoever it was would be good enough to bring it back for her. Never is simply saying "Interested" enough to make an item yours even with non-curb alert situations. Nothing is "yours" unless the giver states that they are giving it to you. Plus, it's on the curb. You don't even have to be part of the BN group to drive by and see it. Anyone could have taken it, and that's the whole point, for people to take this stuff. |
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Post by monklady123 on Aug 2, 2024 12:20:02 GMT
I belong but haven’t used our group but if the person flakes they only get a few chances then are kicked out of the group. You report to the admin. You also have to give to the first to reply unless you state otherwise. Is it an official Buy Nothing group? Ours has a rule that you should not be doing first to post unless you specifically say that you are flash gifting. They want to give the opportunity for many people to see it versus just whoever's on line at the moment. "Simmering" or letting posts sit for a while is highly encouraged. It's in our rules also that we're supposed to wait awhile (not sure if it says exactly how much time), especially if we list something early in the day. That way anyone who's at work will also have a chance to see it. I usually do that, especially if the first few people to reply are ones who are on my blacklist. I'm not going to pick them anyway so I'm happy to wait longer in hopes that someone else will be interested.  |
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Post by pmm on Aug 2, 2024 13:10:54 GMT
I like our BN group, I've given and received. Most of the members tag the person they are gifting and tell the other person to reach out to them to arrange pick up. Might be worth a try, it could potentially weed out some of the flakes.
We had one lady that was shamed out of the group. She was constantly asking for items for her daughter and required that they be new in package because they would be birthday or Christmas gifts, now school clothes, etc. Or she would be gifted an item and then tell you that she didn't have the ability to pick up and wanted you to deliver the item. She rarely if ever offered anything in the group. People got tired of her demanding ways and someone posted in a matter of fact way that she was unreasonable in her expectations. Every post she would have a long list of wants with expectations and had no problem implying that she did not want any previously used items.
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Post by melanell on Aug 2, 2024 13:35:11 GMT
I like our BN group, I've given and received. Most of the members tag the person they are gifting and tell the other person to reach out to them to arrange pick up. Might be worth a try, it could potentially weed out some of the flakes. We had one lady that was shamed out of the group. She was constantly asking for items for her daughter and required that they be new in package because they would be birthday or Christmas gifts, now school clothes, etc. Or she would be gifted an item and then tell you that she didn't have the ability to pick up and wanted you to deliver the item. She rarely if ever offered anything in the group. People got tired of her demanding ways and someone posted in a matter of fact way that she was unreasonable in her expectations. Every post she would have a long list of wants with expectations and had no problem implying that she did not want any previously used items. I hate to sound cynical, but I'm guessing she was reselling just as many of those items as she was actually gifting, regardless of the rules against it. |
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Post by monklady123 on Aug 2, 2024 14:07:54 GMT
I like our BN group, I've given and received. Most of the members tag the person they are gifting and tell the other person to reach out to them to arrange pick up. Might be worth a try, it could potentially weed out some of the flakes. We had one lady that was shamed out of the group. She was constantly asking for items for her daughter and required that they be new in package because they would be birthday or Christmas gifts, now school clothes, etc. Or she would be gifted an item and then tell you that she didn't have the ability to pick up and wanted you to deliver the item. She rarely if ever offered anything in the group. People got tired of her demanding ways and someone posted in a matter of fact way that she was unreasonable in her expectations. Every post she would have a long list of wants with expectations and had no problem implying that she did not want any previously used items. I hate to sound cynical, but I'm guessing she was reselling just as many of those items as she was actually gifting, regardless of the rules against it. Yes, that's what I thought also. We have a couple of people who say they're interested in almost everything that's posted. (at least they don't specify new, lol) But there is NO way one person can have all that stuff in their house, unless they are true hoarders. So the alternative is that they're reselling. I don't pick them. |
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Post by melanell on Aug 2, 2024 14:16:33 GMT
I hate to sound cynical, but I'm guessing she was reselling just as many of those items as she was actually gifting, regardless of the rules against it. Yes, that's what I thought also. We have a couple of people who say they're interested in almost everything that's posted. (at least they don't specify new, lol) But there is NO way one person can have all that stuff in their house, unless they are true hoarders. So the alternative is that they're reselling. I don't pick them. We have a few like that as well, but they truly will take everything--my first guess would be a flea market vendor, but yet that seems so easily discovered, kwim? I hate to think we're feeding into someone's hoarding tendencies, though. I don't honestly care if anyone sells the stuff, but I know that's a big no-no for the group. |
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,853
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Post by Rhondito on Aug 2, 2024 14:24:29 GMT
We don't have those type of groups, only groups selling items.
Our neighborhood FB group posts curb alerts, or sometimes people will post things like diapers or baby formula and ask if anyone can use them. Since it's only our neighborhood it works very well.
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