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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 2, 2024 14:32:31 GMT
I like our BN group, I've given and received. Most of the members tag the person they are gifting and tell the other person to reach out to them to arrange pick up. Might be worth a try, it could potentially weed out some of the flakes. We had one lady that was shamed out of the group. She was constantly asking for items for her daughter and required that they be new in package because they would be birthday or Christmas gifts, now school clothes, etc. Or she would be gifted an item and then tell you that she didn't have the ability to pick up and wanted you to deliver the item. She rarely if ever offered anything in the group. People got tired of her demanding ways and someone posted in a matter of fact way that she was unreasonable in her expectations. Every post she would have a long list of wants with expectations and had no problem implying that she did not want any previously used items. There’s one person in our group that is always asking for specific things and then says the giver will have to drop it off at her house too because she doesn’t have a car. I get it that it can be hard to arrange picking things up if you don’t have reliable transportation, but if someone is willing to give you something (especially something with real value) then maybe it might be worth putting a little effort in to go get it yourself. I can’t imagine being in a group like that and not only constantly ask for stuff for free but asking people to bring it to my doorstep too. Not to be mean but IMO if I have to go to the trouble to get in my car and bring the stuff somewhere, I might as well just drop it off at Goodwill, KWIM? |
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Post by pmm on Aug 2, 2024 16:01:40 GMT
I like our BN group, I've given and received. Most of the members tag the person they are gifting and tell the other person to reach out to them to arrange pick up. Might be worth a try, it could potentially weed out some of the flakes. We had one lady that was shamed out of the group. She was constantly asking for items for her daughter and required that they be new in package because they would be birthday or Christmas gifts, now school clothes, etc. Or she would be gifted an item and then tell you that she didn't have the ability to pick up and wanted you to deliver the item. She rarely if ever offered anything in the group. People got tired of her demanding ways and someone posted in a matter of fact way that she was unreasonable in her expectations. Every post she would have a long list of wants with expectations and had no problem implying that she did not want any previously used items. I hate to sound cynical, but I'm guessing she was reselling just as many of those items as she was actually gifting, regardless of the rules against it. It's okay. Honestly, I never put much thought into it. I just rolled my eyes and scrolled on pass. But, I do admit when she was looking for birthday gifts, when the whole thing blew up, I wanted to know if I supplied a gift could I get a piece of birthday cake. LOL. I know that's one of the reasons I'm probably going to hell. ETA I didn't post my thought about the cake. |
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Post by pmm on Aug 2, 2024 16:14:02 GMT
I can’t imagine being in a group like that and not only constantly ask for stuff for free but asking people to bring it to my doorstep too. Not to be mean but IMO if I have to go to the trouble to get in my car and bring the stuff somewhere, I might as well just drop it off at Goodwill, KWIM? I totally agree. Our group covers two communities, so it's a pretty big area. Naturally, she lived the furthest from most of those posting gifts. Who in there right mind would want to drive completely out of their way to deliver a sack of plastic kids hangers to someone? It would be easier to drag them around in the trunk of your car until you went past Goodwill. |
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Post by monklady123 on Aug 2, 2024 16:56:01 GMT
I can’t imagine being in a group like that and not only constantly ask for stuff for free but asking people to bring it to my doorstep too. Not to be mean but IMO if I have to go to the trouble to get in my car and bring the stuff somewhere, I might as well just drop it off at Goodwill, KWIM? I totally agree. Our group covers two communities, so it's a pretty big area. Naturally, she lived the furthest from most of those posting gifts. Who in there right mind would want to drive completely out of their way to deliver a sack of plastic kids hangers to someone? It would be easier to drag them around in the trunk of your car until you went past Goodwill. Yes definitely. And for me it's also what sort of entitlement attitude the person is pulling on me. My BN boundaries are long and narrow so it's quite a hike from one end to the other, plus I live in the very last block of the southern end, so it's even more of a hike if I'm going to the northern end. We are encouraged to put our general location in our posts so people can decide ahead of time if they're willing to drive to wherever it is to pick up. -- I did once deliver something to someone, but it was extenuating circumstances. I knew her from previous interactions and knew she was reliable. When she didn't pick up that evening when she had said she would I just brought it inside. I messaged her the next morning with a reminder, expecting to get "OMG I Forgot!" back. But instead I received a photo of her leg in an ankle-to-knee cast, with her son (who I know from subbing at our neighborhood school) sitting nearby with an "oh no!" look on his face. She said "so sorry I didn't get there last night, I was busy in the ER. Please pass it [the item, which I forget now what it was] on to someone else." lol. Of course I didn't mind delivering in that case. But just the random people who think things are owed to them... nope. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 2, 2024 17:06:41 GMT
One other thing that I see that drives me nuts is the way people respond to curb alerts. Curb alerts are totally allowable in our group. You can put things on your own curb, or you can post a pic and a block if you happen to drive by a home with things out. And people will say "This is not my house." or they will say "Cleaning out the garage. Items at curb. First come, first serve." And again, people don't read (or their entitlement is ginormous) because they'll start posting "Interested!" over and over, asking for things to be held, etc.  Recently one woman even went so far as to complain that someone else took something she "claimed" (by saying she was interested) off of the pile before she got there and she hoped whoever it was would be good enough to bring it back for her. Never is simply saying "Interested" enough to make an item yours even with non-curb alert situations. Nothing is "yours" unless the giver states that they are giving it to you. Plus, it's on the curb. You don't even have to be part of the BN group to drive by and see it. Anyone could have taken it, and that's the whole point, for people to take this stuff. I hate curb alerts with a passion. I always figure if there’s something in the picture that I want, odds are good it will be gone by the time I get over to wherever it is. I think it’s one thing to post a generic curb alert on Marketplace or Craigslist, but I think with Buy Nothing groups people in the group should be able to claim something specific that was posted. |
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 2, 2024 18:33:08 GMT
I gave up on our BN group as just too much work and effort. It was a little fascinating at what things generated the most competition. For me it was a mesh hanging folder crate full of hanging folders. I told people to pick a number and half ignored that but gave me a detailed explanation of why they needed it.  |
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Post by pmm on Aug 2, 2024 19:47:57 GMT
I totally agree. Our group covers two communities, so it's a pretty big area. Naturally, she lived the furthest from most of those posting gifts. Who in there right mind would want to drive completely out of their way to deliver a sack of plastic kids hangers to someone? It would be easier to drag them around in the trunk of your car until you went past Goodwill. Yes definitely. And for me it's also what sort of entitlement attitude the person is pulling on me. My BN boundaries are long and narrow so it's quite a hike from one end to the other, plus I live in the very last block of the southern end, so it's even more of a hike if I'm going to the northern end. We are encouraged to put our general location in our posts so people can decide ahead of time if they're willing to drive to wherever it is to pick up. -- I did once deliver something to someone, but it was extenuating circumstances. I knew her from previous interactions and knew she was reliable. When she didn't pick up that evening when she had said she would I just brought it inside. I messaged her the next morning with a reminder, expecting to get "OMG I Forgot!" back. But instead I received a photo of her leg in an ankle-to-knee cast, with her son (who I know from subbing at our neighborhood school) sitting nearby with an "oh no!" look on his face. She said "so sorry I didn't get there last night, I was busy in the ER. Please pass it [the item, which I forget now what it was] on to someone else." lol. Of course I didn't mind delivering in that case. But just the random people who think things are owed to them... nope. Hope terrible for her! |
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Post by melanell on Aug 2, 2024 20:08:20 GMT
One other thing that I see that drives me nuts is the way people respond to curb alerts. Curb alerts are totally allowable in our group. You can put things on your own curb, or you can post a pic and a block if you happen to drive by a home with things out. And people will say "This is not my house." or they will say "Cleaning out the garage. Items at curb. First come, first serve." And again, people don't read (or their entitlement is ginormous) because they'll start posting "Interested!" over and over, asking for things to be held, etc. Recently one woman even went so far as to complain that someone else took something she "claimed" (by saying she was interested) off of the pile before she got there and she hoped whoever it was would be good enough to bring it back for her. Never is simply saying "Interested" enough to make an item yours even with non-curb alert situations. Nothing is "yours" unless the giver states that they are giving it to you. Plus, it's on the curb. You don't even have to be part of the BN group to drive by and see it. Anyone could have taken it, and that's the whole point, for people to take this stuff. I hate curb alerts with a passion. I always figure if there’s something in the picture that I want, odds are good it will be gone by the time I get over to wherever it is. I think it’s one thing to post a generic curb alert on Marketplace or Craigslist, but I think with Buy Nothing groups people in the group should be able to claim something specific that was posted. It's funny, I feel the same when I see curb alerts--I don't bother going, figuring things will be gone, but I do like posting them occasionally. Particularly when we're cleaning out a place with stuff that all needs to be cleaned/repaired--like the garage, the basement, the attic. Suddenly you have this huge pile of stuff, and I don't want to keep it around any longer, kwim? We've decided to clean out the garage that day and I actually want it all to go that day. And gosh knows even if I say I only want people who will come that day to express interest, it never happens like that. Every time I've posted that kind of thing I wind up with someone who said they could stop by soon, but then something changes, or they forget, or blah, blah, blah.  |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 2, 2024 22:23:35 GMT
It's funny, I feel the same when I see curb alerts--I don't bother going, figuring things will be gone, but I do like posting them occasionally. Particularly when we're cleaning out a place with stuff that all needs to be cleaned/repaired--like the garage, the basement, the attic. Suddenly you have this huge pile of stuff, and I don't want to keep it around any longer, kwim? We've decided to clean out the garage that day and I actually want it all to go that day. And gosh knows even if I say I only want people who will come that day to express interest, it never happens like that. Every time I've posted that kind of thing I wind up with someone who said they could stop by soon, but then something changes, or they forget, or blah, blah, blah.  I can totally understand why someone might post a curb alert, I just object to people posting it on Buy Nothing. If you’re inclined to just haul it out to the curb just put it up on Marketplace or better yet NextDoor because then it’s more likely that your immediate neighbors will see the pile and take the stuff away quickly. |
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Post by jill8909 on Aug 2, 2024 23:41:56 GMT
i'm so antisocial lately. tomorrow we are dragging a ton of stuff to goodwill. i just can't handle people
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,734 
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Aug 3, 2024 0:00:22 GMT
I'm our group has had a few Buy Nothing garage "sales". Either it is only for BN people or they are having an actual garage sale but if you mention BN then there's no charge.
Great if you know when you are going to do a big clean out and can let others know ahead of time.
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Post by melanell on Aug 3, 2024 0:02:21 GMT
I'm our group has had a few Buy Nothing garage "sales". Either it is only for BN people or they are having an actual garage sale but if you mention BN then there's no charge. Great if you know when you are going to do a big clean out and can let others know ahead of time. Ours do a lot of post-garage sale posts. They work just like curb alerts, only it's the left-overs from an actual garage sale. The idea of a special BN garage sale is pretty neat. We've definitely never had any of those. |
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,734
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Aug 3, 2024 1:07:07 GMT
I'm our group has had a few Buy Nothing garage "sales". Either it is only for BN people or they are having an actual garage sale but if you mention BN then there's no charge. Great if you know when you are going to do a big clean out and can let others know ahead of time. Ours do a lot of post-garage sale posts. They work just like curb alerts, only it's the left-overs from an actual garage sale. The idea of a special BN garage sale is pretty neat. We've definitely never had any of those. We had one lady who organized a buy nothing event. She had it planned many weeks ahead of time. People dropped off stuff based on the schedule she posted. Others volunteered to bring food to give away the day of. I wasn't able to attend but sounds like it was a really successful event. People got to shop around all the stuff that she had collected from the group. I think they donated everything that was left over. Since there was a specific time and location. She just scheduled a truck for after the event was done. |
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Post by MsChiff on Aug 6, 2024 16:08:32 GMT
I do love my Buy Nothing group. Best way to get rid of items without having to drag it out to Goodwill or somewhere else. And I've met some nice people who I didn't know before BN. However.... there are always some bad apples. -- We just got a bunch of random stuff out of our attic and I'm getting rid of a lot of it. One is a large metal Coleman cooler, the old kind. Old but perfectly usable. No wheels, and handles only on either end, but it's perfect for backyard bbqs or parties. I post it. Three people reply pretty quickly. One says "oh yes please! This would be perfect for my little boy's birthday party this weekend!" Since I didn't know any of the three who replied I picked this woman because it's a little boy's birthday.  I replied under her comment to say "it's yours, I'm messaging you now." I go to Messenger, say hi, give her my address, tell her to let me know when she wants to pick up." Crickets. Four hours later I replied again on the FB post to say "please reply to my messenger message so we can arrange pickup". She actually liked that post. But has she replied yet? ? nope. And she's posted several other things in the BN group within that time so it's not like she's at work and unable to get back to me. In the grand scheme of things this is a small problem to have. But the cooler is large and I want it out of my house. In the time that I've been waiting a fourth person has replied and it's someone who I've dealt with before in BN. I'm giving original lady one more hour and then it's going to person #4 who I know is reliable. The thing that annoys me about some people on BN is how they'll delay and delay and then two days later they'll message to say "oh I'm just seeing this now... can I come pick up this afternoon?" um, no... I've already given it away because that was two days ago and you never got back to me. If someone would just reply and say "thank you, I'd really like this item but I can't pick up until Sunday. If that's not good for you then give it to the next person." In that case I'm likely to say that Sunday is just fine. Just don't ghost the whole thing.  I do keep a blacklist which seems to grow longer every week. ugh What's your Buy Nothing group like? I love my Buy Nothing group! Most people are kind and caring and they respond/pick up quickly. When I post something, I pick a person and tag them in a message to message me. Our group gives 24 hours to respond to the message because not everyone sits online all day (although it appears that some do). If someone doesn't respond, I move to the next person. That person also gets reported to the group admins and after a few of the same violations, the admins remove them from the group. It makes for a very nice group of people!! |
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Post by papersilly on Aug 6, 2024 17:28:54 GMT
free group can have the flakiest people around. they have no skin in the game if it's free so they don't care about flaking on your time. you put a nominal price on something and people will be breaking down your door to score that deal. go figure.
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Post by melanell on Aug 6, 2024 19:01:54 GMT
One thing our admin struggles to get some people to do is to mention their town name. Our group covers something like 10-12 small towns, so the travel distance can be worth knowing before you express interest, and man every time she suggests it you have some who act like she's asking for their SSN to be posted. Then on the flip side, you'll have others, that even when you list the town name (and the town is exactly 2.5 miles from its 2 furthest points) and they post " Where in Littleville? I don't want to drive too far."  |
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Post by fredfreddy44 on Aug 6, 2024 19:09:18 GMT
I love our BN. 98% success I've had. I give more than receive and have had a few with their heads in the clouds. I really love getting rid of extra garden produce and half used bottles of stuff, you can't get rid of that anywhere else.
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