Whatever Happened to the Pea…

airforcemomof1 .....I LOVE that you remembered my adora-bull Meaty and Sophie! 




I'm embarrassed to see a post about me, but I appreciate the kind words.  

I still read here, but I am in pain *almost* 24/7,  and grieving (we lost
4 family members and 4 dogs in the last 4 years).
 I fear anything I post will look like I'm seeking sympathy. 

 I've sought out therapy, grief support groups, physical
therapy, and a millllllion things to treat my pain, but nothing
helps long-term. Aside from constant PAIN, I also have other
weird medical stuff going on. 


I had an awesome career until a few years ago, and now, I want
to at least volunteer, but the constant pain makes it impossible.

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TL/DR:

For my physical issues, I go to PT, exercise, use TENS unit (* a God-send!*),
use ice and/or  heat *almost constantly*, tried different meds, etc.

I had my
hips replaced, but one is still SO painful, it's horrible. I've seen my
awesome surgeon several times, and he orders more PT/ stretches. He
gave me a steroid shot 2 weeks ago that did *nothing.* (I had such
high hopes!) 

I used to be a
funny, happy gal whose makeup and hair looked nice. The way
I look now literally makes me cry. There is just NO energy or care when my
body is in so much freaking pain all the time.  

We went to dinner for
our annniversary last month, and I was so shocked at how bad I looked
in the photos, I sobbed-- it was SO embarrassing.  I tried to stop (we were
in a nice restaurant), but I couldn't. I'm SURE my dear (truly DEAR!)
hubby was a bit embarrassed, but he was more concerned about my
feelings. I really ruined what should have been a happy evening.



I have done grief support groups and therapy for my complicated* grief.
I'm VERY thankful for a supportive hubby and some close friends. It bothers
me that my FAMILY doesn't want to talk about our losses.  They'd
rather pretened everyyyyyything's fine. 

In the last 4 years, we lost a nephew I adored, then 4 months later, my dear Dad.
Dad moved in with us, and it was soooo stressful sometimes---but I miss him
terribly. He was like a best pal and we had the EXACT sense of humor and irony!


Within that same 4 years, we also lost 2 brothers-in-law on DH's side (none of these were Covid-related), plus
4 precious doggies. 


We lost Sophie during the height of the pandemic, and her death could have
been prevented, so it has been HARD to let that go!  The emergency vet even
admitted she was extremely busy and overwhelmed that night.


The emergency hospital  paid the entire (HUGE!) bill because they knew they were at fault.  What
makes it worse is that we could not SEE her in the emergency room/ say good-bye.
Freaking dumbass pandemic.    Every time I imagine how frightened she must have
been, waiting for us to be with her, it kills me (and now I'm sobbing again). 

Then we lost our precious Meaty, (but SO thankful he had 13 wonder-bull years!)
plus 2 precious pugs we fostered/ adopted in
the span of 1 year.


So nice to see you here again but so sorry you are still unable to live the life you want and deserve!