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Post by mom on Sept 4, 2024 19:04:57 GMT
I share some, but not all. Mainly because I don't want to the judgement. When I do share, it's usually only a snippet of whats going on and only if I think someone else can relate.
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Post by peasapie on Sept 4, 2024 19:24:40 GMT
Each of these posts are so real and true, and I appreciate that honesty. I've come to realize that I am uncomfortable sharing many kinds of things, whether IRL or here, because I grew up in a highly critical environment and I'm sensitive to being chastised unexpectedly for something I might say or do. jeremysgirl, you DO often give us something to really think about and I'm sorry you question whether you are entitled to your reaction. My ex husband used to do that to me when I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. Every feeling I had became marginalized in his mind as "over reacting" and I started to close in on myself rather than reaching outward - so I admire that you are able to do that. @restless Spirit, I appreciate that you responded even though it must be difficult - this is a board with people who have passionate beliefs that can make it difficult to have a dialogue at times. I love reading that so many of you have found sub-groups here where you feel it is more easy to chat than in the larger group. |
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Post by craftedbys on Sept 4, 2024 20:18:51 GMT
If someone were to look at the things I have posted here, they would assume I have the emotional depth of a teaspoon.
I will share lighthearted stories and such, but my feelings and emotions are locked down tight, both online and IRL.
I obviously have trust issues, but that is a whole other thread. Although by the looks of things, so do some other peas.
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Post by MichyM on Sept 4, 2024 20:33:04 GMT
If someone were to look at the things I have posted here, they would assume I have the emotional depth of a teaspoon.I will share lighthearted stories and such, but my feelings and emotions are locked down tight, both online and IRL. I obviously have trust issues, but that is a whole other thread. Although by the looks of things, so do some other peas. I adore the bolded part (I'm so going to reuse it), and pretty much agree with all the rest too. |
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Sept 4, 2024 20:49:37 GMT
I share some but not all.
I don't share all the details, because some of the abuse I endure is horrific and still very raw and painful wounds in my heart and soul. I was degraded and demoralized to the lowest level of worthlessness and no person should ever have to endure that.
I share my marriage abuse story, because if my story can help or encourage someone or anyone..... to escape, heal, re-build their life, start again, etc... helps just one person....then it's worth sharing.
All it takes is one moment or one person to be a deciding factor, for someone else. One never knows who they might help, encourage or inspire.
I have learned people will stay (as I did) in an abusive situation because of pride, no money or means, embarrassment, don't want to leave a child or pet behind, they have been gaslighted to the point of being subconsciously programmed (and they don't even know it), they have been gaslighted and driven to the point of worthlessness, etc....
Getting away from a psychotic, sociopath, gas lighter, narcissist, abuser, stalker......isn't easy.
No one really knows, what is going on behind someone else's closed doors.
What is presented forth on the outside, can be the polar opposite behind closed doors.
Sometimes people are stuck and trapped behind those closed doors....in the world of abuse (emotional, mental, verbal or physical).
I hope that sharing my story, helps make a difference for someone. I hope sharing my story gives someone the inner strength they need, to escape the world behind closed doors.
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,436 
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Post by theshyone on Sept 4, 2024 21:14:19 GMT
I don’t spell well, punctuation escapes me, my world is small and isolated and my health struggles are of no interest to anyone.
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Post by epeanymous on Sept 4, 2024 21:18:17 GMT
I share some. Stuff I post here is generally stuff I share with ppl in real life with whom I have a friendly relationship.
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Sept 5, 2024 2:29:55 GMT
theshyone, I enjoy your posts  |
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Post by gryroagain on Sept 5, 2024 2:42:43 GMT
I share quite a bit, and I feel safe doing so. After all these years I think of you all as a safe place to share. I truly care about all of your struggles too and while I’m not super active I read and think about each of you often. Our lives have all diverged so amazingly in all these years, it’s really remarkable. This is a special place.
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,117
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Sept 5, 2024 3:02:49 GMT
Nope. I never have in the 25 years I’ve been a pea. It’s not my nature. I’m pretty private and also very sensitive. I can think of a handful of times I’ve been hurt by sharing here and it’s not worth it to me. I’m a big sharer with a very small group IRL, though.
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Post by callmenutz on Sept 5, 2024 3:20:50 GMT
I normally am a very private person but when I was diagnosed with cancer in December I shared that and asked for prayers. I know I should give an update but that makes me feel like I’m whining. What I’ve been through sounds like a soap opera but I feel like I’m looking for sympathy. All anyone can do is pray. I will say that I’ve started praying for all of the Peas every night. Everyone is going through something, no matter if it is life threatening or something simple. If it bothers you then it is worth praying about. ❤️
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 5, 2024 10:20:17 GMT
craftedbys said: If someone were to look at the things I have posted here, they would assume I have the emotional depth of a teaspoon. You have the right to post however you want. I'm not picking on you or criticizing you. But in my opinion, this is the reason why this board has been painfully slow and we get posts about socks. Every once in a while one of those pea nostalgia posts comes up, like, remember when? And people post all manner of stories from the past. I don't ever post on those threads because it makes me a little nuts that people would rather relive "pea lore" than continue to make new stories. I have a lot of friends here. I love so many peas. So many of you have been right beside me through ups and downs. I have that connection to many of you. I believe all of you rallied around me when Esther died (and even before) *because* of the things I'm willing to be vulnerable about. But if you don't post interesting, deep things that sometimes make you feel vulnerable, then we can no longer have intimate connections. That's your (general) choice, of course. But you can't say that this board hasn't lost some of its spark in recent years. You can't count on the same handful of posters to keep driving this board all the time. And, JMHO, you are missing out. I cherish many of these friends I've made here. Some I talk to daily off board. For those of you not willing to put yourselves out there, do you have connections like that with other board members? None of this was directed at the poster I quoted specifically. It's directed at all the people too hesitant to share.
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Post by gillyp on Sept 5, 2024 11:24:55 GMT
I don’t spell well, punctuation escapes me, my world is small and isolated and my health struggles are of no interest to anyone. I am very bad for complaining about others spelling, punctuation, grammar etc. Then I pull myself up and tell myself English might not be the writer’s first language, the person may not have had the education/support they deserved, they might just be typing quickly and not noticed what they’d written or some other reason. The older I get the less I remember about the “rules” anyway and, to be honest, the less I care! I apologise if anything I’ve written on “proper English” threads has caused you or anyone else to feel their contribution is insignificant or will be dismissed because of the way it’s written. I’m sorry, too, for the problems you are encountering and hope chatting here could help in some small way. As to do I share here? I don’t even share with my real life friends or family. I was brought up with a put up and shut up attitude, best foot forward, stiff upper lip, grin and bear it sort of thing. I have no problem with others doing it, I just can't/won't myself. |
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Post by koontz on Sept 5, 2024 12:04:55 GMT
ScrapbookMyLife, I am so sorry for what you went through. I think sharing your story can help, and perhaps safe, someone in a similar situation so that is very valuable. I always enjoy reading Jeremysgirls posts too, because they are so real. I admire you and others that are able to share so openly. I shared a few personal things here when I asked for advice when I was in a difficult situation. I learned that because I was open and honest about that problem (which I had caused) peas took the time to give me equally honest and serious advice. It wasn`t pleasant to hear, but it was what I needed to hear and it helped me a lot. I guess what I am trying to say is that I will probably always be reserved (the emotional depth of a teaspoon, love it!) but I appreciate people who do share. I do feel safe here.
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Post by Bridget in MD on Sept 5, 2024 12:34:40 GMT
craftedbys said: If someone were to look at the things I have posted here, they would assume I have the emotional depth of a teaspoon. You have the right to post however you want. I'm not picking on you or criticizing you. But in my opinion, this is the reason why this board has been painfully slow and we get posts about socks. Every once in a while one of those pea nostalgia posts comes up, like, remember when? And people post all manner of stories from the past. I don't ever post on those threads because it makes me a little nuts that people would rather relive "pea lore" than continue to make new stories. I have a lot of friends here. I love so many peas. So many of you have been right beside me through ups and downs. I have that connection to many of you. I believe all of you rallied around me when Esther died (and even before) *because* of the things I'm willing to be vulnerable about. But if you don't post interesting, deep things that sometimes make you feel vulnerable, then we can no longer have intimate connections. That's your (general) choice, of course. But you can't say that this board hasn't lost some of its spark in recent years. You can't count on the same handful of posters to keep driving this board all the time. And, JMHO, you are missing out. I cherish many of these friends I've made here. Some I talk to daily off board. For those of you not willing to put yourselves out there, do you have connections like that with other board members? None of this was directed at the poster I quoted specifically. It's directed at all the people too hesitant to share.
I have been thinking about this thread and the responses a lot. As usual, @jeremeysgirl put into words exactly what I was thinking. There are peas that have elected not to come back and that makes me sad, bc I feel I have learned so much and gained so many different points of views. I do share some things, but I can see mentally and emotionally, that if you post and are constantly feeling like you are handslapped or not supported, or that you just cannot have a conversation without getting dog piled on for having a different view, then I would be reluctant to share or even be a part of the community too. What is incredibly sad to me, is that people won't share, or they will leave, but we are not getting a steady stream of new comers to replace those personalities to keep conversations going, so eventually our history won't be a shared one either.  |
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