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Post by epeanymous on Sept 4, 2024 15:33:04 GMT
My inlaws downsized to one house and offloaded a lot of things to relatives, storage, and charity last winter. Knowing that we are a photography household and that one of my kids would be taking photography in high school, they told us that they were willing to send us what they described as a “brand-new, never-used digital camera with multiple lenses that cost over $3500.”. The box has been sitting in my kid’s room for several months until we had time to learn a new camera, and, since he starts school this week, I opened the box. Inside was a leather camera bag that has been used, and inside of that was a small camera. I thought I was going crazy looking for a battery or charging cord or lenses, so I finally looked up the camera online. It’s a pretty ordinary, inexpensive film camera from about 1982.
Would you mention it to them? (By you, I mean my husband). On the one hand, maybe they sent the wrong camera (although they’ve emptied that house so you’d think they would know about a second camera if it exists), and the negative related point is I kind of hate for them to give themselves credit for gifting my kid this very expensive item when they didn’t. On the other hand, I have a lousy relationship with them and they know I am the photography person here, so I am not sure it is worth potentially angering them or making it seem like I am ungrateful. My FIL is the person who packed the box and he has his faculties, so this isn’t a dementia issue (my MIL, who does have dementia, has sent us empty boxes and boxes of trash and junk over the years, and I thought at first maybe this was that).
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Post by ~summer~ on Sept 4, 2024 15:38:13 GMT
Yes I’d mention it. Maybe it’s the wrong box.
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 405
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Sept 4, 2024 15:41:00 GMT
Just ask them if this was the camera they meant to give their grandchild. Show it to them, or send them a photo of it. It definitely wasn't what they had described.
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Post by katlady on Sept 4, 2024 15:53:58 GMT
I’d send a photo, with a thank you note. Maybe to them, it was expensive when they bought it and they honestly thought they were sending you something really nice. Or, they will see the photo and realize they sent the wrong one. That’s all I would do, I wouldn’t ask if they sent the wrong one.
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Post by quinlove on Sept 4, 2024 16:00:38 GMT
I’d send a photo, with a thank you note. Maybe to them, it was expensive when they bought it and they honestly thought they were sending you something really nice. Or, they will see the photo and realize they sent the wrong one. That’s all I would do, I wouldn’t ask if they sent the wrong one. This is a perfect answer, imho. |
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,508
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Sept 4, 2024 16:03:14 GMT
I’d send a photo, with a thank you note. Maybe to them, it was expensive when they bought it and they honestly thought they were sending you something really nice. Or, they will see the photo and realize they sent the wrong one. That’s all I would do, I wouldn’t ask if they sent the wrong one. This^^^ |
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Post by Bridget in MD on Sept 4, 2024 16:19:13 GMT
My inlaws downsized to one house and offloaded a lot of things to relatives, storage, and charity last winter. Knowing that we are a photography household and that one of my kids would be taking photography in high school, they told us that they were willing to send us what they described as a “brand-new, never-used digital camera with multiple lenses that cost over $3500.”. The box has been sitting in my kid’s room for several months until we had time to learn a new camera, and, since he starts school this week, I opened the box. Inside was a leather camera bag that has been used, and inside of that was a small camera. I thought I was going crazy looking for a battery or charging cord or lenses, so I finally looked up the camera online. It’s a pretty ordinary, inexpensive film camera from about 1982. Would you mention it to them? (By you, I mean my husband). On the one hand, maybe they sent the wrong camera (although they’ve emptied that house so you’d think they would know about a second camera if it exists), and the negative related point is I kind of hate for them to give themselves credit for gifting my kid this very expensive item when they didn’t. On the other hand, I have a lousy relationship with them and they know I am the photography person here, so I am not sure it is worth potentially angering them or making it seem like I am ungrateful. My FIL is the person who packed the box and he has his faculties, so this isn’t a dementia issue (my MIL, who does have dementia, has sent us empty boxes and boxes of trash and junk over the years, and I thought at first maybe this was that). Was the box for the camera that you think they meant to send? or was it just a regular box? It sounds like you thought you were getting a camera body with multiple lenses and got an old point & shoot. Do you think they decided to use the camera and store their old camera and camera bag in the box? Just ask them if this was the camera they meant to give their grandchild. Show it to them, or send them a photo of it. It definitely wasn't what they had described. I like the idea from 3boysnme said. I would ask DH to ask if they are going to send the camera since the boy was going to use it for class at school, or did they decide to keep it, just asking bc you need to get a camera for him for this class.... and send a picture of what you got. Maybe they stored their old system in the box...? The problem is if its been months, who knows where the actual camera went. Unless they are using it, it's probably gone, so you just want to verify before you go out and get something else...  |
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Sept 4, 2024 16:24:29 GMT
I’d send a photo, with a thank you note. Maybe to them, it was expensive when they bought it and they honestly thought they were sending you something really nice. Or, they will see the photo and realize they sent the wrong one. That’s all I would do, I wouldn’t ask if they sent the wrong one. This!! epeanymous Let your DH do all the communications!! A general ask would be ok, though . |
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,617 
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on Sept 4, 2024 16:39:33 GMT
Your DH could just say thanks for the camera I'm sure it will be put to good use but I thought you said it was a digital camera?
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Post by lucyg on Sept 4, 2024 16:56:14 GMT
I would let the whole thing go. You know who they are already. Based on things you've said before, it doesn’t surprise me a bit that they’d do this to you and your kids. (Makes me mad on your behalf. I just don’t see any productive point in pursuing the issue.)
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Post by MichyM on Sept 4, 2024 17:02:12 GMT
I would let the whole thing go. You know who they are already. Based on things you've said before, it doesn’t surprise me a bit that they’d do this to you and your kids. (Makes me mad on your behalf. I just don’t see any productive point in pursuing the issue.) I agree with this. And now the song "Let it Go" is running through my head  |
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Sept 4, 2024 17:27:11 GMT
Your DH could just say thanks for the camera I'm sure it will be put to good use but I thought you said it was a digital camera? 👍 Ask if they still have the download cord... Innocent enough, but needed for digital 😊 |
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Post by bc2ca on Sept 4, 2024 17:45:44 GMT
I would let the whole thing go. You know who they are already. Based on things you've said before, it doesn’t surprise me a bit that they’d do this to you and your kids. (Makes me mad on your behalf. I just don’t see any productive point in pursuing the issue.)  Whether it was intentional or not, I don't think anything positive will come from questioning them especially as I suspect the original camera offered is long gone. |
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,734
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Sept 4, 2024 18:16:27 GMT
I probably wouldn't be able to not say something. What about send a photo and this "Looks like we ended up with a vintage film camera. I'm sure DS will get a kick out of it."
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Post by epeanymous on Sept 4, 2024 21:15:53 GMT
I would let the whole thing go. You know who they are already. Based on things you've said before, it doesn’t surprise me a bit that they’d do this to you and your kids. (Makes me mad on your behalf. I just don’t see any productive point in pursuing the issue.) I think this is what I’m going to do. It’s just a really frustrating example of the nature of the relationship. |
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,238
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Post by pilcas on Sept 4, 2024 22:31:00 GMT
That is really worse than not sending anything at all. I am sorry they just can’t help themselves.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Sept 4, 2024 23:14:21 GMT
Have your Son send a thank you card.
Dear Grandparents,
Thank you so much, for the vintage camera that you sent me. I appreciate your generosity.
The camera that you me sent from 1982, is so different than the camera's nowadays. I've enjoyed looking up the history of the camera. It is so interesting to learn about the photography and cameras from the 1980's decade, and how different it is from the cameras and photography of today.
Thanks again,
Love, Grandson
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 5, 2024 0:21:46 GMT
Having purchased several lenses and a camera (from this decade), I would say they have no idea what they are talking about. The amount of money they mentioned would get you an okay digital camera with an okay lens. I would just let it go and if something gets mentioned, that you are having trouble finding film and somewhere to process it. When I went from a DSLR to a mirrorless camera, I went into stickershock.
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 5, 2024 13:07:10 GMT
I'd let it go, since it's unlikely they don't have the expensive camera.
If anything did need to be addressed, I would make your DH do it.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 5, 2024 13:56:31 GMT
That’s got to be really frustrating, for both you and your kid, thinking that they’re getting something they need for a class and having it turn out to be something they can’t actually use.
I never took photography in HS but I did have one in college, and for me anyway using a point and shoot camera wasn’t even allowed. If that was all a student personally had, they had to check out one of the manual school cameras from the tool crib which was a huge pain in the butt.
Personally, I would be annoyed enough by that to have my DH say something to his parents about it.
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 405
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Sept 5, 2024 14:16:43 GMT
I thought about it and changed my mind about you or your DH saying anything. It won't serve anything except possibly cause even more of rift between you and your inlaws.
But I do agree with your son sending a thank you card. He can tell them while he appreciates the gift, he won't be able to use it for class because everything is now digitized. And then what another Pea mentioned about appreciating being able to learn the history of it.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Sept 5, 2024 14:22:22 GMT
My general rule of thumb in these situations:
If saying something is intended to elicit some type of change in the other person, it's probably not worth the effort.
If saying something gets it off my chest and enables me to be clear about who I am, then it's worth it to me.
Which would this be for you?
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,134
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Sept 5, 2024 15:14:24 GMT
I wouldn't say anything... your in laws are impossible... not worth it to me...
My mom does this annoying thing... she lives with my sister in ohio in summer n comes to Texas with us for winter...
She always brings a suitcase of hand me downs from my sisters kids to my grandkids...
My sisters kids are in high school.... my oldest grandchild is 11!!! She says well you can just save them... i send them to the family shelter... but its frustrating... like why???
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Whether it was intentional or not, I don't think anything positive will come from questioning them especially as I suspect the original camera offered is long gone.
