Twins and travel sports--WDTPT?

It shouldnt matter if they are twins. They need to evaluate each child and put them at the appropriate team. I am shocked there is even a discussion. If I pay those fees and find out a kid got pulled up just bc they are twins I’d probably consider a different more serious travel league.

Twins should not do everything together.

You shouldn't hinder the progress of one child (twin or not) because they are better at something.

They are an individual who just happens to share the same birthday. (And in some cases don't if born close to midnight)

Back in the day of my kids playing on travel teams it wouldn't have worked logistically for DH and I to have kids on 2 different teams at the same time.

Why would twins be given any more consideration than any other siblings? As any parent of multiple kids knows there are going to be multiple activities. It just is. Deal with it.

Just because yours came out at the same time doesn’t make them less individuals.

Making the better player play down will slow their progress in the activity. They won’t be challenged as the opponents are all also at the lower skill level. They will not develop the skills needed to either score or defend when playing against an appropriate skill level as they will never be challenged. They will develop poor practices because they will not have to try hard. You can create a permanent deterrent to their development by never challenging them appropriately.

Making the other sibling play up is just going to create a situation when they can’t keep up and there can be resentment from the rest if the team because you filled a spot but don’t have the skills to play the spot. That sibling will bench sit more and they’ll developed resentment as well. This just breeds a bitter outcome.

I was a mother of 2 children close in age and I had multiple activities to get each to but they each did the things that best suited their needs & abilities at the time.

Twins are not a single being and should be encouraged to develop as individuals whether it is less convenient for the parents or not.

I have twins who play a travel sport and have asked here before that same question from the other end. Our club treats it kind of like some colleges do — you tell them your preference (keep them together or evaluate them separately). When mine were younger, we asked to keep them together, but for the past few years, we’ve let them pick and they’ve asked to be evaluated separately. I think even when we’ve let them be evaluated separately, the coaches know they are twins and err on the side of keeping them together. It’s not just about family convenience, but the morale of the kids—there is a difference between kids of different ages playing at different levels and twins (mine are even identical) being on different levels of teams. And one of mine is definitely better than the other — he always starts, while the other one starts about half the time.

I will say that I am very glad when they were younger that we had the option. If a parent really has to travel with the child because they are young, if you have more than just the twins and don’t have a lot of family support, it can be literally impossible.

One more thing I’ll interject here — I think the extent to which the leveling process is some sort of completely objective process can be really overstated, and I think what happens with my kids is that their twin status likely pulls coaches who are making judgment calls anyway to err on one side or the other for one or the other of my kids.

ETA: having read the other posts, my experience is exactly the opposite of what people seem worried about. I think that the twin who is better, when they were younger, may have played on a lower team than he would have because he had a twin who wasn’t as good. The other twin improved a lot and now they are I think within the same range, even though he is still a better player. The coaches definitely weren’t putting the then-less-skilled kid on a better team based on a twin policy, although I am also going to be honest and say that when they were younger, I think the coaches mixed them up a lot and didn’t know who they were evaluating (they were *really* identical).

I think the parents insisting on having their kids on the same team are acting entitled. I’m with everyone else who says that they should be treated as individuals, and that it isn’t fair to: 1) another kid who actually deserved that spot on the advanced team and didn’t get it, 2) the kid who has to struggle to keep up, and in the case of holding one kid back 3) the kid who isn’t being allowed to play to their potential. In either case there is someone who isn’t being well served.

Is it inconvenient to have two kids on two different teams? Absolutely. But it’s no different than having two kids doing two totally different things because they have different skill sets or interests. Would you tell your band kid that they have to play baseball because their sibling is good at it, or tell the baseball kid they have to be in band because their sibling is musically gifted? No, you wouldn’t. So why should this be any different just because they both happen to like the same sport or because they’re the same age?

I think parents with 2 or more kids deal with the logistics of different teams/ schedules.It seems to me the parents of the twins are using the concept of twins to make things easier on themselves. I don’t think it’s healthy for twins to always do everything together..

Being on the team should be based on ability and skills, not "it's not fair" if they don't get to play or be a part of it.

Life isn't fair.
Not making a team, not getting the job, not being invited to a party, etc...  is a part of that.

I honestly think >> Somewhere along the way, "it's not fair" has exponentially fueled entitlement behavior. 

So someone or something has to give. They have to make different choices, you rope in friends for lifts or sometimes they don’t get what they want to do this semester or whatever.

This is the answer. Put the choice on the parents to hold back the more talented twin. 

ETA I messed up the quote… that was from iamkristin’s response to something Bridget in MD said…

While I think it would be hard to have twins on different travel teams, it’s no harder than if you had two kids of different ages playing travel ball. I’m thankful my youngest never got into travel ball. It was a lot just keeping up with my oldest.

I agree that them being twins shouldn't really come in to play in the decision. My girls were in to sports (age difference 2 years), but not the same ones. One liked softball, the other liked tennis. The one thing we did do to combine them is instead of Girl Scouts, (two different troops, two different meetings, etc...) We got them in to 4-H. It's all ages, boy and girls. We could attend ONE meeting and then they could branch out in to whatever projects interested them. Not a badge that EVERYONE in the troop had to do.

I'd say if the family wishes their kids to play the same sport but their skill levels are different then they have to suck it up and divide an conquer like the rest of the parents with multiple kids in multiple activities do. (Sure it would be nice if they could be on the same team and it would be cook IF it worked out, but I don't think special accommodations or denying another kid a spot should be a thing).