pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 9, 2024 14:34:04 GMT
I am curious what the peas thoughts are on this subject.
Child's school has a club that allows friendships to be fostered between gen Ed and SDC. The club meets every Tuesday. This club is sponsored by a local disabilities organization and allows end of year prom to be fully funded. So no ticket cost.
Homecoming is coming up. One of the students parent has social media presence and has gone on several tirades about lack of inclusion and lack of friendship. Child has no one to go to the dance with but wants to go and parent says that won't happen. They literally said they will not allow child to go alone.
In these posts/videos they have put down the teens who are in the club and call them volunteers and that they are only doing it for credits for college applications.
They reached out and asked if one of the club members could go with their child. Silence supposedly. I say that because they asked advisor if any of the sdc students are going and we're told no.
They talk about naturally occuring friendship but then post about forcing it. That everyone should see the worth of their disabled child and include them always. And that if the teens were serious about inclusion they would include the child. That they would show up others day than just Tuesday.
They were called out for putting down teens on social media and that they are an adult and should know better. It has since blown up.
So questions for discussion:
Should anyone be forced to be friends with another? Does inclusion mean forcing friendship just so another can be included? Should teens be forced to show up more than just on club day? Should a disabled person always be included because they are disabled?
I will post my thoughts in a bit.
I can clarify if needed but I don't want to over share info. Just summarizing.
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Post by Zee on Oct 9, 2024 14:56:14 GMT
Obviously, no.
I would also think the students would find it patronizing to be included by force.
Just like you wouldn't force a romantic relationship, you shouldn't force a friendship. The club, though, is a nice way for the students to meet and be friendly. No one is being coerced. And nothing outside of the voluntary club meeting should be expected, though it could be welcomed.
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Post by ntsf on Oct 9, 2024 15:00:18 GMT
you can't force friendships. you can make opportunities to become acquainted. I think the parent should let their child go alone to the dance.. this is not the 1950's. seems like some deeper issues here.
it is tough to have your kid excluded.. my one kid (who is a fraternal twin) was always left out of friendship things. almost always. occasionally was friends with the other "not the norm" kids.. but nothing lasting. this kid has autism and did not have interests that match others. as an adult, she hangs out occasionally with others playing pokemon go.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Oct 9, 2024 15:04:15 GMT
I'm guessing the parent is struggling with the child's lack of friendship and is lashing out. No you can't force friendship, but it's hard when your kid is not included. Hell there's a thread right now about a full grown adult feeling left out by people talking about things they're not invited to and many stories of others who struggle. A teen who has no one to go to homecoming with - yeah they're having a bad day. Their actions aren't going to solve their problem, but I feel for them.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Oct 9, 2024 15:04:20 GMT
I'll take a stab at this. Inclusion to me means opening up avenues where otherwise unlike groups, specifically minority populations (whether that be race, sexual orientation, disability, etc.) get the chance to interact with others. It is sometimes mandatory to force activities (like in the workplace) which provide opportunity to get exposure to different people and ideas.
Inclusion is not forcing people to have friendships. And I take the most issue with that because disability does not preclude someone from being just a bad human being. It's been my experience that nice people go over and above to find other nice people to be friends with. Sensitive people often allow themselves to be taken advantage of several times before they are willing to not give a "friend" another chance.
I am hard pressed to believe in the situation you describe that the child in question is actually someone others want to befriend. I know there are some who are loners and have difficulty making friends. My Esther was such a child, but I was blown away at how many flowers and text messages came in when she died from people she had never even met in person. And even with all her challenges, she still had a neighborhood friend IRL that she would sit on the porch and socialize with when she was up to it. She was sensitive and kind, though, and not a bad human.
I think when a situation like this arises, it is to a parent's benefit to question why the child doesn't have friends. And just not finding people to go to homecoming with, IMO, isn't an indicator that the child doesn't have friends. Esther wouldn't have been caught dead at a homecoming dance, for instance, and wouldn't have gone with a friend. Doesn't mean she didn't care about her friends. So does the child have friends at all?
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pinklady
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Post by pinklady on Oct 9, 2024 15:08:25 GMT
Should anyone be forced to be friends with another? Does inclusion mean forcing friendship just so another can be included? Should teens be forced to show up more than just on club day? Should a disabled person always be included because they are disabled? No to all questions. You cannot force friendship that's ridiculous. Additionally, with the little info that is posted, I wonder if the parents are part of why the child has friendship issues. |
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Post by epeanymous on Oct 9, 2024 15:10:24 GMT
What is funny is it sounds like the child is willing to go alone. Honestly being willing to go alone to things you want to attend is fantastic. I know so many adults who will want to go to a concert or a book signing or on a trip and their friends and family members don’t want to, so they just don’t. Maybe this child has a diaability that makes it unsafe or impractical to attend alone, but, if not, I think mom is doing the child a disservice if she makes them feel like it’s an issue to fly solo.
So the short version of my thought is this sounds like a mom problem, not a kid problem. And no you can’t force friendship. You can require kindness and civility, but you can’t force genuine bonds.
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 9, 2024 16:24:05 GMT
So this is a parent in ds class. They adopted all 3 kids and 2 have Down Syndrome.
They feel that prom should be at night with regular prom not a separate prom. That it isn't true inclusion but rather separation and being "othered" because they get a separate prom.
She feels if these kids were really invested they would stop by other than Tuesday. But they are very involved kids with sports and other clubs. Clubs meet throughout the week.
Until recently her child had no friends. Now she has a BFF who has been a friend for awhile.
She likes to create conflict because it gets her views and posts.
Ds loves the club and I as well as others love it. We love that the prom is during school so they don't miss out. They are already on campus so no need to drive. They won't miss out on therapies either. The student store has $1 dresses, suits, and tuxes the kids can buy. And you can get a voucher to get it for free. Food and entertainment and provided as well. The club picks a theme and the gym is decorated.
My son has formed friendships with his classmates and the gen ed kids. He looks forward to club.
She feels it is everyone's else's issue as to why her child has no friends. That everyone else needs to change themselves to fit her child.
I don't ever want my kids to have fake friends. And their self worth isn't tied down to a friend who is gen ed.
They are valued and appreciated and loved.
My take is no one likes everyone. You can be kind and respectful but you don't have to be friends with everyone.
But to her that is true inclusion.
No separate classes.
No SDC program.
No separate prom.
My son would fail in that system as would the majority of his class.
He has plenty of gen ed opportunities and takes gen ed classes. Ones that he can do at his level.
She has upset parents (me included) with her diatribes of complaints. And she has upset some students and staff as well.
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 9, 2024 16:25:19 GMT
Should anyone be forced to be friends with another? Does inclusion mean forcing friendship just so another can be included? Should teens be forced to show up more than just on club day? Should a disabled person always be included because they are disabled? No to all questions. You cannot force friendship that's ridiculous. Additionally, with the little info that is posted, I wonder if the parents are part of why the child has friendship issues. Bingo. She has insecurities from her life of growing up. She has said so. She is also a post everything on line mom and who wants that? I have said no to things so ds isn't plastered on her social media platforms and used as a talking point |
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 9, 2024 16:27:15 GMT
I'll take a stab at this. Inclusion to me means opening up avenues where otherwise unlike groups, specifically minority populations (whether that be race, sexual orientation, disability, etc.) get the chance to interact with others. It is sometimes mandatory to force activities (like in the workplace) which provide opportunity to get exposure to different people and ideas. Inclusion is not forcing people to have friendships. And I take the most issue with that because disability does not preclude someone from being just a bad human being. It's been my experience that nice people go over and above to find other nice people to be friends with. Sensitive people often allow themselves to be taken advantage of several times before they are willing to not give a "friend" another chance. I am hard pressed to believe in the situation you describe that the child in question is actually someone others want to befriend. I know there are some who are loners and have difficulty making friends. My Esther was such a child, but I was blown away at how many flowers and text messages came in when she died from people she had never even met in person. And even with all her challenges, she still had a neighborhood friend IRL that she would sit on the porch and socialize with when she was up to it. She was sensitive and kind, though, and not a bad human. I think when a situation like this arises, it is to a parent's benefit to question why the child doesn't have friends. And just not finding people to go to homecoming with, IMO, isn't an indicator that the child doesn't have friends. Esther wouldn't have been caught dead at a homecoming dance, for instance, and wouldn't have gone with a friend. Doesn't mean she didn't care about her friends. So does the child have friends at all? She has a BFF now (family friend) and all the sec kids are friends. But I think a big issue is her social media presence and parents like me not wanting to be on her pages or be a talking point to make money She makes income from her social media and traveling to speak. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Oct 9, 2024 16:47:49 GMT
She makes income from her social media and traveling to speak. Well this is a problem too. I would be extremely hesitant to befriend anyone who is an influencer if I knew there was a risk my child would be photographed or discussed online like this. |
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Oct 9, 2024 17:23:00 GMT
My short answer is that I think it’s ridiculous to not allow the child to “go alone.” But, there may be many things I’m not taking into consideration. So if it’s simply a faux pas to go alone- that’s stupid.
I don’t believe in forced friendships (for anyone…) but putting situations in place for it to organically happen are magic and awesome.
One of my very best friends is severely “developmentally delayed” autistic and has severe anxiety, impulse control issues and it literally manifests as “annoying af.” If you were in the store with her, you’d think she was the rudest, most overbearing person you ever met. Her disability isn’t super visible, until you realize that she dresses like a cross between a 7 year old girl and an old man. I’ve taken her to things like bingo, and omg the hate we sometimes get. She has trouble remembering what quiet is.
But- she has unlimited energy, and loves to get out of her group home. Literally.. visit a historic house? Sure! Apple picking? Yep. Yard saleing? Yessss Grocery shopping, Christmas shopping? Paying the dog license at the court house? The library? Pressure washing the house….. YESSSSS.
I love her to death and I know the hills she will die on and so I try to make sure there are things she likes (and god forbid no ice in her water…) and invite her when appropriate. I listen to what is going on in her world and she sometimes gives me something to think about.
Anyway… I met her through a person we both love and it was clear she was going to be in my life and I made an effort to get to know her. I wouldn’t expect my sister or anyone else to enjoy hanging out with her on a whim. And, if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to get to know her, otherwise. I’m already an introvert.. why would I want to subject myself to being with someone who literally makes it a point to call attention to herself?
It takes time to get to know someone- and the club is likely providing that, too bad kid of this lady is either too difficult (it happens….) or not being given the chance to find a true friendship.
Someone upthread lalso said something that I totally agree with…. Not all disabled people are “nice” people. My friend lives in a group home, and I could tell you stories. A surprising number of them lash out and hit- or weaponize urine or feces. I don’t think any kid should be forced to be friends with any other kid. Disabled or not. Just like all disabled folks aren’t nice, neither are all old people, or military or law enforcement possessing integrity and character.
People are people and the people.”
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 9, 2024 17:26:57 GMT
This is how she feels about the gen ed teens who join the club to hang out with a d foster friendships with the SDC students:
"My daughter is not a service project for someone's college application.
She is not volunteer hours.
She is not a checklist item for a resume.
She is not just a friend at lunch on Tuesdays.
She is not your kindness project.
To reduce her to this is patronizing and exploitative."
And
"For example, something like a “special needs” prom can benefit non-disabled people by providing volunteer hours or accolades to add to a college application. Furthermore, the non-disabled volunteers often receive congratulations or esteem for participating in the separate program or event created for people with disabilities."
My oldest joined this club with her gen ed friends when she was in high school. I have friends whose teens joined when they were in high school or are current club members.
They are upset at her posts and videos because she is assuming the kids are in it to benefit from it. That is further from the truth.
I find it gross that people are looking passed her belittling of teens to make her issues seem larger than they are to make a cash flow.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 9, 2024 17:29:37 GMT
She makes income from her social media and traveling to speak. Well this is a problem too. I would be extremely hesitant to befriend anyone who is an influencer if I knew there was a risk my child would be photographed or discussed online like this. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. My kid isn’t special needs but I still hesitate before posting any photos or mentions of her on my own social media and I’ve told others not to do it either. I’m of the mind that everything online lasts forever and I would rather have my kid be the one to decide for herself what she wants to show up in her digital footprint weeks/ months/ years down the road. If she was special needs I would be even more vigilant. |
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Post by melanell on Oct 9, 2024 17:36:26 GMT
My initial thought is that there will be many kids across the country not going to Homecoming because they don't fit in, or don't have many/any friends, even if they have no special needs at all. Kids who very much wish they could go, but have no one to go with, and they don't want to turn up alone. And yet I doubt any clubs are being put on the spot to go seek out those kids and ask them to go to the dance with them.
I also feel that in this case, the parent almost sounds like they would expect the other kid(s) in the club to be responsible for their child's wellbeing during the dance, which seems unfair to me. I've gone to dances with groups in my day, and we don't always stick together like glue for the duration of the event. We might arrive together, and meet back up to go to a party afterwards together, but in between we might mingle a bit. But in this case I get the feeling the parent expects a club member to act as a personal chaperone, not just a "friend". I could be wrong about that, of course.
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 9, 2024 17:40:29 GMT
My initial thought is that there will be many kids across the country not going to Homecoming because they don't fit in, or don't have many/any friends, even if they have no special needs at all. Kids who very much wish they could go, but have no one to go with, and they don't want to turn up alone. And yet I doubt any clubs are being put on the spot to go seek out those kids and ask them to go to the dance with them. I also feel that in this case, the parent almost sounds like they would expect the other kid(s) in the club to be responsible for their child's wellbeing during the dance, which seems unfair to me. I've gone to dances with groups in my day, and we don't always stick together like glue for the duration of the event. We might arrive together, and meet back up to go to a party afterwards together, but in between we might mingle a bit. But in this case I get the feeling the parent expects a club member to act as a personal chaperone, not just a "friend". I could be wrong about that, of course. She doesn't see it as a burden but what is required to be fully inclusive. She thinks able bodies regular people should bend over backwards to accept and include disabled persons. I don't think anyone should be burdened. It's not fair to either side. And she wants her child to go with friends. Not sure about the look after part. But makes sense she is adamant about not going alone. Then it puts the responsibility on her. Teens are going through a lot as is. To add another responsibility on them when they don't choose to take it on is wrong. You have no idea how happy I will be when ds graduates and he isn't in that class. I told dh I worry she is going to ruin the club for the kids. |
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 9, 2024 17:56:51 GMT
I appreciate the replies.
I was reading comments and was thinking if my thought was wrong because it was all praise with "why isn't the club stepping up", "why isn't a para or the teacher going", "why isn't best buddies involved", "if my kid was at her school Id make them go with her" (big eye roll on that comment), etc.
I know of course a lot of social media influencers follow each other and post positive messages in support to keep things moving.
But I just thought maybe I am old school and it should be this way 🤷🏻♀️ but honestly that isn't life.
I feel bad she won'tbe able to go because they won't allow her to go alone. She is a pawn to their money sadly.
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Post by Bridget in MD on Oct 9, 2024 18:30:52 GMT
what does SDC mean? sorry, I am not familiar.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Oct 9, 2024 18:56:56 GMT
No matter who the person is, a friendship should not be forced. Friendships should happened naturally.
The Mother in question, sounds like a control freak helicopter parent.....as well as a chronic "it's not fair" complainer (probably about everything).
The Mother is probably one of those who >> gets offended if her social media posts are not commented on or liked by others.
People like the Mother, are exhausting and draining.
I think the kid should attend alone.
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 9, 2024 19:16:58 GMT
what does SDC mean? sorry, I am not familiar. It's okay. It is special day class. There is mild/mod, mod/severe, and severe/profound. It is a separate class from general education (RSP, college prep, honors, AP, etc) and self contained. The kids of able can take ended electives like art, PE, theater, music, choir. Some take 1 or 2, others do zero. They stay in that class all day unless they take gen ed classes. There is a teacher, para supports and 1:1 paras. Education and life skills are learned. They go out into the community a lot and high school preps them for the adult program from graduation of HS till 22. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Oct 9, 2024 19:22:22 GMT
But I just thought maybe I am old school and it should be this way 🤷🏻♀️ but honestly that isn't life. Honestly, it is a good thing that your school even has a club like that. Not all schools do. Many have absolutely no way to encourage any kind of inclusive behavior toward children with disabilities other than good intentioned teachers who try to be inclusive in their classrooms. I'm going to say something and I want it to come to you in the spirit of friendship and looking out for your well-being, but it might be necessary to step away from this if you can. I know as the mother of disabled children you have a healthy balance. Of when to push and when to protect. My kids had challenges too and it's a delicate balance between being understanding of their limitations and pushing them to achieve what they can and learn resilience. I have challenges myself and while I like to stay up to date on mental health issues, I sometimes find social media ripe for people on two extreme sides of this debate, knowing full well that what works for me is that delicate balance between knowing when to push myself and knowing when to embrace that at certain moments I'm just not OK and no amount of pushing is going to get me there. I know that this isn't just some random influencer, but an actual member of your community so that makes it harder. But if you can, protect yourself from what sounds to me like a very toxic debate. Take care. |
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 9, 2024 19:34:18 GMT
But I just thought maybe I am old school and it should be this way 🤷🏻♀️ but honestly that isn't life. Honestly, it is a good thing that your school even has a club like that. Not all schools do. Many have absolutely no way to encourage any kind of inclusive behavior toward children with disabilities other than good intentioned teachers who try to be inclusive in their classrooms. I'm going to say something and I want it to come to you in the spirit of friendship and looking out for your well-being, but it might be necessary to step away from this if you can. I know as the mother of disabled children you have a healthy balance. Of when to push and when to protect. My kids had challenges too and it's a delicate balance between being understanding of their limitations and pushing them to achieve what they can and learn resilience. I have challenges myself and while I like to stay up to date on mental health issues, I sometimes find social media ripe for people on two extreme sides of this debate, knowing full well that what works for me is that delicate balance between knowing when to push myself and knowing when to embrace that at certain moments I'm just not OK and no amount of pushing is going to get me there. I know that this isn't just some random influencer, but an actual member of your community so that makes it harder. But if you can, protect yourself from what sounds to me like a very toxic debate. Take care. Girl you're good 😊❤️ I said my peace in regards to putting the kids down (since I know a few through friends) and let it be. Was just curious where others sat to see if maybe I needed to look more at it and see if I was being non inclusive myself. I do check after an event to make sure she hasn't posted ds as district has told her not to for my and others. I don't engage with her just check in but this one just didn't sit right with me because of the kids involved. I feel bad that someone thinks so poorly of them. |
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Post by jill8909 on Oct 9, 2024 22:39:52 GMT
My kid was the one who didn't have friends. I could write a book on this.
Your tone was a bit hostile and devoid of any compassion. I did not read the other comments.
So to answer your question, no you don't have to force a friendship for inclusion. in fact, it's impossible. You can raise kids who care about others. Maybe go as a group and include disabled kids.
Be grateful your kid is typical. And if I am off base, and reacting badly, then I'll admit it.
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 9, 2024 22:45:14 GMT
My kid was the one who didn't have friends. I could write a book on this. Your tone was a bit hostile and devoid of any compassion. I did not read the other comments. So to answer your question, no you don't have to force a friendship for inclusion. in fact, it's impossible. You can raise kids who care about others. Maybe go as a group and include disabled kids. Be grateful your kid is typical. And if I am off base, and reacting badly, then I'll admit it. My kid isn't typical. Ds has Autism + as well as learning disabilities, speech disabilities, HoH in one ear, vision disabilities, and several rare genetic syndromes. While he has friends in class and gets excited to see them out and about on weekends or vacation, he doesn't text them or hang out with them. It's not something he wants so we respect that. He happily engaged during school time and would prefer to be just family or himself during weekends and breaks. The child in question is in ds's class. Just FYI since you said you didn't read other responses and where I gave more info. |
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 9, 2024 22:50:07 GMT
My initial thought is that there will be many kids across the country not going to Homecoming because they don't fit in, or don't have many/any friends, even if they have no special needs at all. Kids who very much wish they could go, but have no one to go with, and they don't want to turn up alone. And yet I doubt any clubs are being put on the spot to go seek out those kids and ask them to go to the dance with them. I also feel that in this case, the parent almost sounds like they would expect the other kid(s) in the club to be responsible for their child's wellbeing during the dance, which seems unfair to me. I've gone to dances with groups in my day, and we don't always stick together like glue for the duration of the event. We might arrive together, and meet back up to go to a party afterwards together, but in between we might mingle a bit. But in this case I get the feeling the parent expects a club member to act as a personal chaperone, not just a "friend". I could be wrong about that, of course. This was my first thought as well. It sounds like the parent is trying to guilt someone else to give up their experience so that their child can have the experience. That is a lot to put on a 15-17 year old. If someone wanted to do it, great. But I don't see that happening in so many cases. |
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scrappinmama
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Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Oct 9, 2024 23:12:27 GMT
Special needs parent here. My sons were in a special needs class and I think the school did a great job with inclusion. Inclusion shouldn't be about forcing interactions. It should be encouraged and fostered, but not forced. There were gen ed students that would get involved with the class, all by choice. Some did it because they wanted to go into the field either as a teacher, speech or occupational therapist. Others joined because they thought it was fun. Others did it for extra credit. It was never forced. I can think of 2 times that students reached out to me because they wanted to take my sons to the movies. It was a nice interaction both times. I'm still in touch with one of those students and it's been 5 years since they graduated from high school.
For things like dances and homecoming, the special needs parents would usually arrange something. We would all meet for dinner before the dance, then drop off the kids at the dance. Some kids didn't want to go to the dance, so would just go for the dinner. Parents would be at one table and the kids at another. At the dance there was always at least one para to supervise and make sure the kids got picked up by parents after the dance. Maybe that parent needs to reach out to other special needs parents in the class to see if they would like to arrange things together.
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pantsonfire
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 9, 2024 23:16:24 GMT
Special needs parent here. My sons were in a special needs class and I think the school did a great job with inclusion. Inclusion shouldn't be about forcing interactions. It should be encouraged and fostered, but not forced. There were gen ed students that would get involved with the class, all by choice. Some did it because they wanted to go into the field either as a teacher, speech or occupational therapist. Others joined because they thought it was fun. Others did it for extra credit. It was never forced. I can think of 2 times that students reached out to me because they wanted to take my sons to the movies. It was a nice interaction both times. I'm still in touch with one of those students and it's been 5 years since they graduated from high school. For things like dances and homecoming, the special needs parents would usually arrange something. We would all meet for dinner before the dance, then drop off the kids at the dance. Some kids didn't want to go to the dance, so would just go for the dinner. Parents would be at one table and the kids at another. At the dance there was always at least one para to supervise and make sure the kids got picked up by parents after the dance. Maybe that parent needs to reach out to other special needs parents in the class to see if they would like to arrange things together. That is a really great way to handle it! Making note of this for winter formal. |
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Post by Darcy Collins on Oct 9, 2024 23:44:01 GMT
Back up - seriously theres no right here - the parent may be a total crazy person and she'll have to own that - but seriously this is someone who's struggling - think a bit about that. If there's one thing I've learned - kindness is so so easy.
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scrappinmama
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Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Oct 9, 2024 23:54:45 GMT
Back up - seriously theres no right here - the parent may be a total crazy person and she'll have to own that - but seriously this is someone who's struggling - think a bit about that. If there's one thing I've learned - kindness is so so easy. It can be a hard, lonely road. People have no idea what it's like. Hopefully she will see that a forced interaction isn't the best route and will be more actively involved with other parents in her same place that can come up with a plan for all the special needs students. |
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Sarah*H
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Post by Sarah*H on Oct 10, 2024 0:01:43 GMT
I'm not going to answer the question directly. I have a friend who has 3 disabled kids - two profoundly and one not quite so profoundly - but none of them will ever live independently. She's a wonderful, fierce advocate for those kids but after many years she's also angry and honestly, embittered. She feels abandoned, unsupported and and ignored by every agency, program that's supposed to help, the government, charities, etc. She lashes out a lot and she particularly gets angry about 1) programs that are supposed to help but end up making her kids feel more excluded and 2) anything that lumps higher functioning people in with people who are profoundly disabled. What you've described is exactly the sort of situation that would enrage her but also, she would also never have let her kids participate in the first place because she would say that it's obviously set up to fail. I've felt a lot of different ways about my friend's responses to things over the years but what I've finally realized is that I don't get to police how she feels about things which affect her family.
Getting upset about a club that's supposed to be about inclusion but actually ends up making her kids feel LESS included? She's allowed to feel upset. Now how we approach that may differ and most of us would probably not choose to go on a public diatribe but on the other hand, none of us are living her life or parenting her children.
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