breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,582 
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on Nov 5, 2024 19:44:18 GMT
I'm kind of in an ornery mood, my family is being annoying, the election, and I have had a headache (sinus issues).
DD (19) lives at home while she is going to college, and is responsible for helping me unload the car and to put the weekly groceries away since she's home when I get home from the store. Last week she didn't help when I yelled at her to come downstairs, and the non-perishable stuff sat by the front door for three days even after I reminded several people in the house they needed to be put away.
Then someone moved the bags to the kitchen, where they sat until this morning when I dumped them out because I needed my bags back.
I went grocery shopping this morning, DD came downstairs to help unload this week's food, and walked past the pile in the middle of the kitchen floor and went back up to her room.
So, how long do you think it will take before someone other than me puts them away?
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 405
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Nov 5, 2024 20:17:20 GMT
Maybe stop buying groceries except for yourself. Have your own little hoard in your room. No more freebies for the freeloaders!
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Post by jenb72 on Nov 5, 2024 20:49:32 GMT
I know from my own experience that they'll sit there as long as you (or I) keep allowing it or until you (or I) put them away yourself (myself). And yes, it's insanely frustrating. I completely feel you on this. I have secondhand frustration for you. What would motivate her to get it done? What consequences can you give her?
Jen
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Post by cmpeter on Nov 5, 2024 20:58:56 GMT
For about 5 more minutes as I’d make dd come put them away right now.
My adult daughter spends half her time at home and half with her boyfriend. She has ADHD and just doesn’t realize/think of doing normal things to help maintain the house. She is more than willing to do anything I ask her to do though. She just needs to be asked pretty much all the time.
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Post by Crack-a-lackin on Nov 5, 2024 21:10:57 GMT
Did you ask her why she didn’t put them away? I know that’s frustrating and you shouldn’t have to but I’m often very curious what goes through someone’s head when they walk past it.
I even experience a bit of that myself - I can easily ignore clutter and not even think about it (other than wondering why my house is messy) until 4-5 days later when I finally focus on it and take care of it. I think it’s because im so in my head all the time with my inner monologue and im just not paying attention.
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Post by kristi521 on Nov 5, 2024 21:15:55 GMT
If it's anything like my house, until you force the issue/lose your sh$t over it. My oldest DD is getting better about it, but it still seems like there are blinders on most days.
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Post by don on Nov 5, 2024 21:26:23 GMT
@ breetheflea The only problem I see is, somebody forgot who's in charge around there.
It costs parents over $230,000 today to raise a kid, and that’s just for the alcohol.
Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter either.
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breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,582
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on Nov 5, 2024 21:29:13 GMT
If it's anything like my house, until you force the issue/lose your sh$t over it. My oldest DD is getting better about it, but it still seems like there are blinders on most days. I know, and if you lose your sh$t they just stare at you like you have two heads. Don't get me started on every single person in the house who carries a backpack comes home walks in the door, past where the backpacks go, and sets their backpack on the living room furniture so no one can sit anywhere. I swear I need my own apartment in the backyard. |
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Post by cadoodlebug on Nov 5, 2024 21:38:10 GMT
If she was younger I would impose a minute penalty of cell phone use for every minute they sit on the counter or in the bag once out of the car. Letting it slide does you no good except to raise your blood pressure and it doesn't teach her responsibility.
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Post by AussieMeg on Nov 5, 2024 21:38:57 GMT
OMG breetheflea that’s so frustrating! Sure, you could drag your DD down the stairs and make her put them away, but at this stage it’s probably a bit of a game - let’s see how long until someone puts the damn groceries away! I had a similar experience recently… our rubbish bin is in a pull out drawer in the cupboard near the sink. DS tipped something into the bin, something brown, not sure what, and he managed to leave two big streaks of whateveriswas down the outside of the drawer. When I saw it, I told him he needed to clean it off. The slop stayed on there for the better part of the week. He would have seen it every time he went into the kitchen. The only reason I ended up cleaning it off was because someone was coming over and DS wasn’t home for me to drag him out to clean it. |
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Post by AussieMeg on Nov 5, 2024 21:40:07 GMT
Or…… you could turn the wifi off, and when she comes down to see what the problem is, you can just point at the groceries.
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 405
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Nov 5, 2024 23:04:16 GMT
Or…… you could turn the wifi off, and when she comes down to see what the problem is, you can just point at the groceries. Yes! Do this!!! Change the password, and refuse to give it out until they do some basic chores like putting the groceries away! Or get yourself a She-Shed and put it in the backyard! |
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,441
Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on Nov 5, 2024 23:38:22 GMT
About 5 minutes for me. Because I would just say “put the groceries away like you’re supposed to”
lol, I did it last week to DH with the dishes (because he promised that morning he would do it). So I held him to it.
I’m done with that crap in life lol
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,120
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Nov 5, 2024 23:52:38 GMT
That is beyond frustrating! You have every right to be upset. It's time for them to have a come to Jesus moment. Tell them it's unacceptable and if this continues, you will stop doing the grocery shopping. Then be prepared to back up what you say.
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Post by littlemama on Nov 6, 2024 0:10:45 GMT
Stop being passive aggressive and tell her to put away the damn groceries.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Nov 6, 2024 1:02:17 GMT
I'd say to her "since you've opted to not do your household chores and responsibilities, you will need to start paying rent in the amount of "xxx a month", due on the first day of the month...cash only.
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,247
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Post by pantsonfire on Nov 6, 2024 5:10:38 GMT
When DD simply forgets a task I asked her to do or one she does regularly, I just let her know it needs to be done.
Not going to let clean dishes sit in the dishwasher while dirty dishes fill up the sink.
Just remind her to do it.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Nov 6, 2024 5:32:06 GMT
I have to unpack the groceries. My dad has me do it so I mentally am aware of what he has bought. I get sick of the Costco sized packages and jars except olive oil. I need a 2 pack from Costco every visit.
Tomorrow I need to get vegetables and protein. I am borderline ok buying vegetables but meat or fish I break out in a sweat. It just drives me crazy. We are eating our way through the fridge. The new question is “what happened to the tomatoes I just bought?” I look at my dad seriously and say I have eaten through the fridge. There are no tomatoes or cucumbers or beets. I have cooked dinner every meal since Oct 26. Where is the food going? I have photos for evidence. That said my dinners for the last while are very colourful.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,878
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Nov 6, 2024 5:54:17 GMT
I'd say to her "since you've opted to not do your household chores and responsibilities, you will need to start paying rent in the amount of "xxx a month", due on the first day of the month...cash only. Love this! |
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Post by OntarioScrapper on Nov 6, 2024 6:12:36 GMT
I'm kind of in an ornery mood, my family is being annoying, the election, and I have had a headache (sinus issues). DD (19) lives at home while she is going to college, and is responsible for helping me unload the car and to put the weekly groceries away since she's home when I get home from the store. Last week she didn't help when I yelled at her to come downstairs, and the non-perishable stuff sat by the front door for three days even after I reminded several people in the house they needed to be put away. Then someone moved the bags to the kitchen, where they sat until this morning when I dumped them out because I needed my bags back. I went grocery shopping this morning, DD came downstairs to help unload this week's food, and walked past the pile in the middle of the kitchen floor and went back up to her room. So, how long do you think it will take before someone other than me puts them away? Ask my kids about the "mom comes into our room and stares us down". I'm a dig my heels in kind of gal.  |
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Post by christine58 on Nov 6, 2024 12:00:09 GMT
This reminds me of the episode in Everyone Loves Raymond when the suitcase sat on the stairsteps.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 22, 2024 19:25:54 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2024 14:02:38 GMT
Until either a) you do it or b) you lose your shit and scream at them to put the effing groceries away.
Or is that just my house?
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Post by guzismom on Nov 6, 2024 14:02:55 GMT
yeah, they would have been put away already as I wouldn't tolerate that type of behavior from a child living free in my house....MY HOUSE. Yes, it is also her HOME, but it is my HOUSE and if she doesn't want to play by my (limited) rules, she can leave. I always told my girls, even when they were my legal responsibility, that our home was a DICTATORSHIP and that I was the dictator; I always endeavored to make it a BENEVOLENT dictatorship, but that could change at a moments notice depending upon their willingness to live by the rules set down.
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compeateropeator
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,380
Member is Online
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Post by compeateropeator on Nov 6, 2024 14:21:32 GMT
This reminds me of the episode in Everyone Loves Raymond when the suitcase sat on the stairsteps. I don’t remember all their episodes but that one sticks with me. I loved that one. It was a great line when Marie said Don't let a suitcase filled with cheese be your big fork and spoon. 😆😆 |
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