Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 22, 2024 3:38:17 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2024 23:01:55 GMT
Transitions are tough, but I agree with others. My adult children did not and do not have a curfew. I ask that they let me know if they're not coming home (and honestly prefer it if it's a late night) Crash at John's or Jane's instead of thinking you have to come home in the wee hours. The only accommodation I ask for was to keep find my iPhone on their phones. I don't abuse it, but I'm a worrier and it gives me piece of mind. Being tired for work is HER PROBLEM. Shouting on that point. You cannot micromanage on that whatever you decide on the curfew front (and I do know some families impose one especially if there is some disruption issues). I don't understand the downtown issue at all, but perhaps you live in an unsafe area. My daughter meeting friends in a common area ie parking garage and then doing things before coming home would a total normal thing. I've drummed into her safety in numbers so wouldn't return by herself to the garage (unless it was extremely secure). And I absolutely agree that if she was in college, would you really expect her to be back in her dorm room at midnight? I agree with being tired for work, natural consequences are the best! I only reminded her that she should keep it in the back of her mind because she is not pleasant (with me and DH) when she is tired and she isn't the only one who would be suffering the repercussions of her being tired! THe issue with downtown is that there is a ton of crime and trafficking. She's never driven down there before and it's very confusing. I don't want her just driving around lost. There have been instances of young women at traffic lights having car windows broken out and robbed or taken. |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 22, 2024 3:38:17 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2024 23:10:28 GMT
Thank you all for the great advice, you've given me a lot of good things to consider.
|
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Nov 9, 2024 23:27:24 GMT
Cut the apron strings. She's an adult. Literally no one knew where I was when I was 18... You have to grow up sometime.
No one even knows what I do now, at 52. We don't track each other or sit up waiting.
ETA: white women seem to be convinced that they and their daughters are going to be trafficked. Set that fear aside, this isn't a movie and no one breaks open a window at a red light to obtain a sex slave. Do you know how much attention that would attract? The vast majority of sex trafficking victims are runaways and those with addictions.
She can use Google maps to drive alone even in a big city. She can even Uber into town if you're still that scared of a parking garage.
|
|
|
|
Post by christine58 on Nov 9, 2024 23:36:35 GMT
If she was away at college, you probably wouldn’t even know that she had gone out to the city. The only thing we were required to do when we were home on college breaks was to come into the house quietly. Cell phones. If it would make you feel safer about where she is have her her location on her phone you can see where she is.
|
|
|
|
Post by Darcy Collins on Nov 10, 2024 0:07:23 GMT
At 18, kids still don’t have fully developed brains and sometimes that fact becomes painfully obvious. I remember doing some stupid stuff at that age, and I too was generally a pretty good, normally intelligent kid. I think the point to drive home is to have some respect and consideration for the people you live with, especially if they are also still feeding you and putting a roof over your head, possibly providing you with a vehicle or paying for your insurance, etc. If those people have to get up in the morning to go to their jobs to help support you and are losing sleep because of your lifestyle, you need to be respectful of that fact. So that would be the tack I would take. FWIW, I don’t really consider an 18 year old “an adult” unless they are living independently and paying all their own bills, which really isn’t most kids at that age. I’d say if you choose to stay out past whatever time, you had better be very quiet when you come in and not wake up everybody in the house. That’s just common courtesy. If I call you or text, you need to answer or respond within a reasonable timeframe, because I am going to bed and I want to know you’re okay before I do. You’d better get up on time for whatever responsibilities you have the next day. If you are drinking, DO NOT drive. If you are with other people who are drinking, do not let them drive especially with you in the vehicle. If you are out with friends, don’t ever leave anyone behind. All of that is just common sense. When a kid is out on their own, living in their own place, paying their own way, they are free to do whatever the heck they want. If they were away at school living in a dorm (probably paid for by the parents), I’m sure there would be some rules there too so why should it be any different living at home? Even if the kid lived with a roommate who needed to get up early, the same kind of rules should apply if they are getting in really late and being disruptive when they do. Um no. There are no curfews or anything of the sort in a dorm. The rules are around candles and smoking to not burn the place down. No one would begin to try and restrict a student from going to meet some friends downtown and coming home late - or frankly not at all. They're not doing bed checks. |
|
|
|
Post by AussieMeg on Nov 10, 2024 0:09:21 GMT
My kids didn't have a curfew when they were 18, and neither did I.
As for her being out late and having to work the next day, well that's on her to deal with the consequences. I used to tell my son to go to bed when he was still at school, and even when he was 17 and had just started his apprenticeship. I don't bother any more - I figure if he wants to stay up late playing his PS, knowing he has to get up at 5:30am to get to work, that's his choice and his problem.
|
|
|
|
Post by voltagain on Nov 10, 2024 3:07:19 GMT
If they were away at school living in a dorm (probably paid for by the parents), I’m sure there would be some rules there too so why should it be any different living at home? Even if the kid lived with a roommate who needed to get up early, the same kind of rules should apply if they are getting in really late and being disruptive when they do. I retired from working at a fairly large public university last year. Dorm rules were 1. Smoking/vaping is not allowed. 2. Burning candles is not allowed. 3. No alcohol if under 21. 4. No fighting. Talk to the resident advisor that lives in the building if there are unresolvable personal conflicts. That is all. The doors to the buildings do lock after a certain time but students can use their student id to swipe the door lock to open it so there isn't a curfew. They can leave and come back in when ever they want. No one monitors who is coming in. Cleanliness is up to the room occupants. |
|
|
|
Post by voltagain on Nov 10, 2024 3:16:31 GMT
We live in a suburb of a very large city that has a lot of crime. Our town is safe (mostly) but downtown is not safe for a young woman to be driving around alone. Due to many highways and a border, there is a lot of human trafficking around here. The idea of her going downtown alone to meet friends is due to the above but also because she tends to be a nervous driver. She will need to go on the highway (which she's done a few times) but never driven into and around downtown before. The streets are very confusing, lots of one way, etc. And so many parking garages. I'd like her to go to her friends house (that lives about 30 min. away) and drive with them since it is a mix of guys (who go downtown for sports games frequently and are familiar) and girls. There are a lot of "you" problems YOU need to deal with. Not her. If you are nervous about her highway or downtown driving then YOU need to set up some practice sessions with her. After that it is on you to deal with your own feelings. At 18 she is past old enough to need a curfew. I did ask my kids for an estimated time of return so when I heard the front door open I would know it was them and not a robbery in progress. I ask they be reasonably quiet when coming in so they didn't wake up sleeping family. I also asked for a text is there was a significant change to their return time. Again, as a courtesy so when I heard the "bump in the night" I didn't call the police as my first reaction. GPS will take care of the street confusion. Either google maps or Apple maps both have great gps functions if her car doesn't have a build in gps. LET GO. |
|
|
|
Post by chaosisapony on Nov 10, 2024 3:34:31 GMT
No curfew once I turned 18 and had graduated. However, I was required to give a courtesy call to my parents to let them know if I would be home for dinner or not and give them an estimated time I'd be home just so they wouldn't worry.
I think you are being unreasonable. There were many times in my life at that age that I could be out that late and still get to work on time in the morning. She will learn.
|
|
sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,704 
|
Post by sweetpeasmom on Nov 10, 2024 15:01:31 GMT
I think many parents go through this. She is an adult. But she is also in your home and there needs to be a level of respect, both ways. As many have already stated, if she had chosen to go off to college, she would 100% be coming and going at all hours. It's just the nature of that experience. Our dd is 20 and in her 3rd year of school. She's an architect major and since her very first semester, it is not uncommon for her to be in the studio until the wee hours of the morning. I'm never surprised when I check her location when I wake up and she's been there until 4:30am (last night was 2:45am).
When she comes home for visits, we just ask that she is respectful. We'd prefer if she is going to be out that late (obviously not school related if she's home), to please stay where she is at. We live a ruralish area and if she were to have car trouble, it would more dangerous than if she were in the urban area her school is located. Deer specifically.
She and I had our one and only major argument just after she turned 18. While we didn't have a set curfew, we asked the same thing above. If she is going to be coming home, 1am is what we were comfortable with her driving. If she were planning on being later, please stay where she was (which at that time would have been her boyfriend's house). I also ask that she let us know early on in the night if she is going to be staying out. Like another poster said, so I don't worry. She couldn't grasp that. She didn't speak to me for a week and that absolutely about crushed me. But we got through that and we have a much better understanding of each other and where we are coming from.
She spent this past summer in Naples, FL on her own. She was 19 when I dropped her off and turned 20 while she was down there. That's 10hrs away from here. As someone else has pointed out, freshly young adults aren't yet fully developed and have the life skills yet. But this was such a great opportunity for her to really mature and figure things out. But damn she was living her best life!!!
|
|
peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,940
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
|
Post by peabay on Nov 10, 2024 15:19:31 GMT
Just adding to the chorus: college hours are late. Parties don't even start til 11, so her college friends weren't going to go out at 8 and come home at 11.
It's hard, I know. We worry. Neither dh nor I could ever really fall asleep til all the chicks were in the coop. But she got home; I assume she got up and went to work when she was supposed to.
I can remember being 19, I think, and missing the last train out of Penn Station in NYC (which would've left around 2 am). The next train was at 5 so my friends and I literally hung around NYC from 2 to 5; I drove home from the station, changed into my work clothes and walked into work at 7 am for my 8 hour shift. I was a zombie, but I was a responsible zombie. And this was pre-Giuliani NYC - rough and tumble.
I think parenting young adults is harder than parenting toddlers. With toddlers, "I said no" typically works and if it doesn't, they get a time out. Young adults take a lot more finesse and a lot more FAFO on their part that we just worry over. She sounds like a great kid - she'll be fine. Hang in there!
|
|
|
|
Post by huskermom98 on Nov 10, 2024 15:24:53 GMT
Here's a perspective from a parent on the other side -- my son goes to school 9 hours away from home so he is only home for Thanksgiving, Christmas & Spring breaks. I absolutely support him getting together with his local friends because I want him to keep those connections...BUT I am selfishly glad that they usually don't get together until after 9pm. We want to see him & hang out with him too during his limited time at home.
As for the downtown driving, maybe ride with her downtown during various times of the day/week for some practice (and bonding time). I'm a firm believer in knowing how to drive in all types of areas that are in your home area (especially interstates and downtowns).
|
|
peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,940
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
|
Post by peabay on Nov 10, 2024 15:38:31 GMT
Transitions are tough, but I agree with others. My adult children did not and do not have a curfew. I ask that they let me know if they're not coming home (and honestly prefer it if it's a late night) Crash at John's or Jane's instead of thinking you have to come home in the wee hours. The only accommodation I ask for was to keep find my iPhone on their phones. I don't abuse it, but I'm a worrier and it gives me piece of mind. Being tired for work is HER PROBLEM. Shouting on that point. You cannot micromanage on that whatever you decide on the curfew front (and I do know some families impose one especially if there is some disruption issues). I don't understand the downtown issue at all, but perhaps you live in an unsafe area. My daughter meeting friends in a common area ie parking garage and then doing things before coming home would a total normal thing. I've drummed into her safety in numbers so wouldn't return by herself to the garage (unless it was extremely secure). And I absolutely agree that if she was in college, would you really expect her to be back in her dorm room at midnight? I agree with being tired for work, natural consequences are the best! I only reminded her that she should keep it in the back of her mind because she is not pleasant (with me and DH) when she is tired and she isn't the only one who would be suffering the repercussions of her being tired! THe issue with downtown is that there is a ton of crime and trafficking. She's never driven down there before and it's very confusing. I don't want her just driving around lost. There have been instances of young women at traffic lights having car windows broken out and robbed or taken. if she has a phone, the days of driving around lost are over. They all have a GPS basically attached to their hand! |
|
julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,621
|
Post by julie5 on Nov 10, 2024 17:39:07 GMT
I mean if you didn’t give her a time you expected her home, then I don’t think you can be upset at the time she comes home. Whether she gets enough sleep for work is her problem not yours.
My adult (22) daughter stays with us and then her dad sometimes. My only request is if she’s going to be home late, like past my bedtime, let me know so I’m not waiting up. And I like to know her work hours so if she doesn’t make it home, I have something to tell the police if I have to report her missing. But other than that I’ve learned to loosen the grip. It’s hard. My other child (20) is still a work in progress. They are not as matured S their sister. I still remind myself that they are an adult.
But in the end it’s still my home and I let them live here for free so just some communication do I’m not up all night worried is all I ask for. I have an outdoor camera so I can see if my kids made it home without getting out of bed too. The 22 year old was on her own af college and I feel like if something bad does happen to her, no amount of control from me is going to stop that. It’s just part of being a parent to adults.
|
|
|
|
Post by MichyM on Nov 11, 2024 2:53:01 GMT
I was just scrolling the page and noticed that Birdy deleted her account. I sure hope it wasn't because of anything said on this thread. I thought the advice overall was pretty encouraging and helpful.
|
|
|
|
Post by hopemax on Nov 11, 2024 2:58:41 GMT
There was a post where she said that we had given her a lot to think about, and it seemed like she took it constructively. So maybe it was something else.
|
|
|
|
Post by candleangie on Nov 11, 2024 6:34:00 GMT
As they got older, we moved our kids to “roommate courtesy” rather than rules.
If I’m gonna be out late, note home for dinner, gone at a time you would expect me to be around, I will let you know. I would appreciate the same courtesy.
It’s not about permission. It’s about the kindness of not making each other worry.
|
|
|
|
Post by gar on Nov 11, 2024 13:55:09 GMT
That's a shame she deleted and I can't think it was because of this thread? No one was too harsh imo...so I hope she has another reason, if you know what I mean.
|
|
anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,132
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
|
Post by anaterra on Nov 11, 2024 15:16:46 GMT
I agree this was pretty mild as far as all peas agreeing go... nobody have her a hard time or called any names...
|
|
|
|
Post by buddysmom on Nov 11, 2024 16:39:19 GMT
I just noticed that the OP's account was deleted.
Way back in college there were many times that we were in restaurants eating breakfast at 5 am after a night out... and the people getting breakfast before work were there too.
Good ole 4:00 am bar closings back then.
No idea if they have them now and I'm glad my kids are past that age.
|
|
rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,146
|
Post by rickmer on Nov 12, 2024 3:21:53 GMT
my daughter was a bit of a "late bloomer" - didn't really start hanging out late and going to parties until she was 19 (drinking age here). I would ask her to let me know via text if she was held up or going to be late, so if I woke up at 3am I wouldn't worry.
she now is studying in Denmark and turned 24 a week ago. I remind myself when she isn't at my house and living on another continent, I have no idea when she gets home. I do appreciate she is thoughtful and sends me a quick text - I actually love that about her.
I just stayed with her last month for 2 weeks, one night while at her place I was alone as she went a "friend's" place and spent the night. all good, you are a big girl.
it's an adjustment. it takes time to get used to it. because someone's birthday happens to make them 18, I can't turn off being concerned when she says she is going out at 5:30pm for a coffee and isn't home at 3am. I never had ANY tracker sharing thingy on my kids' phones. but I hope they appreciate my concerns and are willing accommodate as well ya know?
She seems to appreciate my care and concern, because that *is* the place it comes from, not from needing to control her. she is very open about her life, so I think that helps too.
I am 53 and went to Montreal for the weekend. driving home with my guy yesterday, my phone rang at 7pm on the nose, my mom checking in to see if I was home yet. I told her I was an hour out, would give her a quick call when I made it home. my mom has lost ppl in her life to car accidents, it was dark at 5pm, it was a 6 hour drive on a foggy, rainy night. I feel lucky to have someone that does actually care, why would I want her to worry? I laugh a bit, but just shrug, don't feel my mom is controlling me and I think my daughter feels the same about us.
ETA: lol, no idea there was an original post, I thought michym's was the OP, honestly, it seemed a bit weirdly worded but now that I read the thread and realize that was NOT the OP, it makes way more sense.
|
|
lesserknownpea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,886
Member is Online
|
Post by lesserknownpea on Nov 12, 2024 11:31:15 GMT
I was just scrolling the page and noticed that Birdy deleted her account. I sure hope it wasn't because of anything said on this thread. I thought the advice overall was pretty encouraging and helpful. I think it was the comment about the fear of human trafficking being blown out of proportion for regular white women. it’s a cherished notion for some people. |
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Nov 12, 2024 12:32:28 GMT
I was just scrolling the page and noticed that Birdy deleted her account. I sure hope it wasn't because of anything said on this thread. I thought the advice overall was pretty encouraging and helpful. I think it was the comment about the fear of human trafficking being blown out of proportion for regular white women. it’s a cherished notion for some people. Well, she did double down on the idea pretty hard. Facebook comments are full of white women re-posting stories about getting stalked at the mall, at Target, Walmart, etc and having notes put on their cars by all these traffickers who will be coming for them. I think they all saw Taken too many times and think they're going to be sold off to another country. The idea that you can't drive in a downtown area or you'll be snatched up and forced into sex slavery is a little far-fetched. It's a lot easier to find women and girls with unfortunate circumstances, who not a lot of people will come looking for, sadly. |
|
|
|
Post by mcjunkin on Nov 12, 2024 13:56:01 GMT
I have no comment regarding OP, but do have something to add to "white women getting stalked".
Two years ago I waved at a truck I thought belonged to someone I knew as I was walking into the chiropractor office. The guy stopped and let me cross in front of him. It was not who I thought. No biggie, I thought. When I got out of the Chiro, I got into my car, and noticed that same truck parked next to me. He was leaning up, looking out the passenger widow at me. Weird. But OK. I backed out of the space. Then so did he. I left the parking lot, but chose the frontage road instead of the main road, as anyone else would have most likely take the main road. He took the frontage as well. I called my husband and told him I though someone was following me. He thought I was nuts. I thought I was nuts. But he stayed on the phone with me. I drove down the frontage road, and at a red light took a left into a Wal Mart parking lot. He went on through the light. No worries. I pulled into a space at WM to collect my thoughts and finish talking to DH. The guy pulled into the parking lot and parked two rows over from me. He had turned and cut through a fast food parking lot instead of coming in right behind me. He was turned around in his truck, looking out the back glass, leering at me. My husband was on a job not too far from there, so he's like, just come here. That was faster than calling and waiting on dispatch from rural police department. I backed out of space. So did he. He followed me for a couple more miles. Then he finally turned off. I did call the police with a description of him and the truck.
I was 46 at that time, and I did not look like a young 46. I am overwieght and out of shape. I had no wallet or purse on me. I was dressed in a dirty pony tail, jeans and an t-shirt just to go to chiro. No make-up. My car was an older beat up old lady car, not flashy like I have money or anything. No car seats so he was not stalking for kids. I fit no demographic that would be considered "normal" for this type situation. Unless he was looking to kill me and stock up his freezer I dont know what he wanted.
I feel sure it had nothing to do with trafficking. But I have no clue other than mental illness.
No, I did not post it all over FB or IG. But I asked my married adult daughter and my son's adult girlfriend to not shop in that area by themselves if they can help it. I can't make them. And I still shop by myself.
It sounds untrue. But It really does happen. And this was in what is considered a safe small town.
I am not a nervous Nellie and would have NEVER thought someone would follow me anywhere. Not paranoid. Not a worrier. I just got back from a solo trip to Japan.
|
|
|
|
Post by aprilfay21 on Nov 12, 2024 14:18:00 GMT
My kids are still younger, but my personal experiences really make me wonder what I'll do when the time comes. I graduated high school and turned 18 6 days later. Started working a few days after that and had my own apartment within 6 months. My 3 kids with summer birthdays will all graduate at 17 and turn 18 over the summer.
|
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 12, 2024 14:21:08 GMT
mcjunkin I would have been freaked out by that too. Years ago in a nice suburb of the Twin Cities, an older woman (ha, “older woman” who was probably about my age now, LOL) was abducted from a grocery store parking lot after dark one night. I don’t recall what happened after that but it made the news at the time. Most of the big grocery stores were open 24 hours back then, so it wouldn’t be uncommon to make a grocery run at 8-9-10 pm because the store was slow at that time and you could breeze through quickly. I just remember after that I no longer would go grocery shopping alone anymore after dark.
|
|
The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 3,018
|
Post by The Great Carpezio on Nov 12, 2024 14:25:08 GMT
OP has deleted, but for what it's worth; if my 16 year olds are still living at home after graduation, I don't think I will have a curfew, but I have tried to instill basic common courtesy, and I think for us to have a healthy household, I would want communications of letting me know when they will be home and generally where they are, but beyond that, they get to decide when and where that is....I however, can request that they communicate. I can't be wondering where they are when I wake up at 3:30 in the morning.
I actually have a couple of different friends who have adult kids on Life 360 and they are all OK with it. They can check up on their parents as well.
|
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Nov 12, 2024 15:17:32 GMT
I have no comment regarding OP, but do have something to add to "white women getting stalked". Two years ago I waved at a truck I thought belonged to someone I knew as I was walking into the chiropractor office. The guy stopped and let me cross in front of him. It was not who I thought. No biggie, I thought. When I got out of the Chiro, I got into my car, and noticed that same truck parked next to me. He was leaning up, looking out the passenger widow at me. Weird. But OK. I backed out of the space. Then so did he. I left the parking lot, but chose the frontage road instead of the main road, as anyone else would have most likely take the main road. He took the frontage as well. I called my husband and told him I though someone was following me. He thought I was nuts. I thought I was nuts. But he stayed on the phone with me. I drove down the frontage road, and at a red light took a left into a Wal Mart parking lot. He went on through the light. No worries. I pulled into a space at WM to collect my thoughts and finish talking to DH. The guy pulled into the parking lot and parked two rows over from me. He had turned and cut through a fast food parking lot instead of coming in right behind me. He was turned around in his truck, looking out the back glass, leering at me. My husband was on a job not too far from there, so he's like, just come here. That was faster than calling and waiting on dispatch from rural police department. I backed out of space. So did he. He followed me for a couple more miles. Then he finally turned off. I did call the police with a description of him and the truck. I was 46 at that time, and I did not look like a young 46. I am overwieght and out of shape. I had no wallet or purse on me. I was dressed in a dirty pony tail, jeans and an t-shirt just to go to chiro. No make-up. My car was an older beat up old lady car, not flashy like I have money or anything. No car seats so he was not stalking for kids. I fit no demographic that would be considered "normal" for this type situation. Unless he was looking to kill me and stock up his freezer I dont know what he wanted. I feel sure it had nothing to do with trafficking. But I have no clue other than mental illness. No, I did not post it all over FB or IG. But I asked my married adult daughter and my son's adult girlfriend to not shop in that area by themselves if they can help it. I can't make them. And I still shop by myself. It sounds untrue. But It really does happen. And this was in what is considered a safe small town. I am not a nervous Nellie and would have NEVER thought someone would follow me anywhere. Not paranoid. Not a worrier. I just got back from a solo trip to Japan. So you met a weirdo, unfortunately most of us have. I didn't say that never happens. But he didn't snatch you up at a red light and traffic you and that was my point. You even said yourself that you still are able to travel alone. Glad you used your brain and stayed safe. |
|
lesserknownpea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,886
Member is Online
|
Post by lesserknownpea on Nov 12, 2024 21:34:20 GMT
I have no comment regarding OP, but do have something to add to "white women getting stalked". Two years ago I waved at a truck I thought belonged to someone I knew as I was walking into the chiropractor office. The guy stopped and let me cross in front of him. It was not who I thought. No biggie, I thought. When I got out of the Chiro, I got into my car, and noticed that same truck parked next to me. He was leaning up, looking out the passenger widow at me. Weird. But OK. I backed out of the space. Then so did he. I left the parking lot, but chose the frontage road instead of the main road, as anyone else would have most likely take the main road. He took the frontage as well. I called my husband and told him I thought someone was following me. He thought I was nuts. I thought I was nuts. But he stayed on the phone with me. I drove down the frontage road, and at a red light took a left into a Wal Mart parking lot. He went on through the light. No worries. I pulled into a space at WM to collect my thoughts and finish talking to DH. The guy pulled into the parking lot and parked two rows over from me. He had turned and cut through a fast food parking lot instead of coming in right behind me. He was turned around in his truck, looking out the back glass, leering at me. My husband was on a job not too far from there, so he's like, just come here. That was faster than calling and waiting on dispatch from rural police department. I backed out of space. So did he. He followed me for a couple more miles. Then he finally turned off. I did call the police with a description of him and the truck. I was 46 at that time, and I did not look like a young 46. I am overwieght and out of shape. I had no wallet or purse on me. I was dressed in a dirty pony tail, jeans and an t-shirt just to go to chiro. No make-up. My car was an older beat up old lady car, not flashy like I have money or anything. No car seats so he was not stalking for kids. I fit no demographic that would be considered "normal" for this type situation. Unless he was looking to kill me and stock up his freezer I dont know what he wanted. I feel sure it had nothing to do with trafficking. But I have no clue other than mental illness. No, I did not post it all over FB or IG. But I asked my married adult daughter and my son's adult girlfriend to not shop in that area by themselves if they can help it. I can't make them. And I still shop by myself. It sounds untrue. But It really does happen. And this was in what is considered a safe small town. I am not a nervous Nellie and would have NEVER thought someone would follow me anywhere. Not paranoid. Not a worrier. I just got back from a solo trip to Japan. I am also a friendly person, and that has bit me in the butt a few times. To the point that I have toned it down in my old and wiser age. It’s sad. There are so many people who are not taking their meds, or are starved for companionship,or I don’t even know what, but an innocent wave, or smile, or nice comment , and the next thing you know, they are following you around all over the place. It can be everything from a nuisance to an absolute terror. Especially in this crazy world we live in. That must have been awful. |
|
