My sister is anorexic/bulimic, has been for decades, tonight

{{{ hugs }}}

How devastating that must have been to see yesterday. My sister was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2002 at the age of 43. I guess she was 18-24 months post diagnosis when I went to visit her one day. We talked daily and emailed almost as much, but I didn't go see her often. It had been about 6 or so months one time and when I got out of my car that day and walked toward their porch where she was sitting, I nearly fainted upon seeing her. Instantly, my mind flashed a picture of a holocaust victim across my mind. That's what she looked like. It was so shocking and devastating.

I'm so very sorry. My youngest sister is bi-polar and suffers from anorexia. It's so hard to be unable to help. My sister has been involuntarily committed to a mental hospital several times. But not because we could do it, only because she was a danger to herself. I wish it was easier for family to get them the help they need

I'm so sorry your sister is in such a difficult place. I don't have any answers for you, it's tough not knowing how to help her.

I have some experience with this and a well loved family member, also. It's heartbreaking! So painful to watch those we love struggle and go up and down with this condition. It's a hard thing to quit being anorexic/bulimic. 

Hugs to you, and also to janetr!

I'm so sorry. That must be so hard to see.

I have an idea that's a little extreme, but if you get to the point that you are ready to go to extremes then this might be an option for you. You'll have to check your state's laws to see how it would work in CA, too.
Many moons ago when I was an LEO, I served a "Writ of __(something that I can't remember)___" on a middle-aged man. He had stopped taking his medication and his family was at their wit's end because they were basically watching him die. They went to the courthouse and got this Writ by telling the courts that he was refusing to care for himself and his medical needs. The judge signed off on it and I showed up to the house with it. I explained to him that the judge had ordered that he be transported to the nearest hospital for treatment because he was refusing to care for himself. He wasn't happy, but he complied. EMS was there and they transported him.

Again, 'not sure how you'd go about this in your state, but if you have some pix of her in her current physical condition then you might be able to take those with you. I understand that she probably wouldn't talk to you again, but that may be a small price to pay for her being alive.

I wish you luck with whatever you decide. It must be absolutely heartbreaking.

And I agree with eastcoastpea.

Prayers for you all.

I'm so sorry--I can't imagine how hard that must be to witness.
And @janetr--please know that people care about you and that there IS help out there. Please don't give up!

I'm so sorry.

Not all of them, but many fitness trainers don't have positive body images either.  There is a reason that they were drawn to that profession.  He may actually be contributing to the problem. 

Secondly, anorexia is a disease in which one of the main issues is control.  It is just as likely, or moreso, that she developed her eating disorder after your mother died, not because she had stopped swimming and her muscle was turning to fat, but because she felt so helpless and out of control watching your mother get cancer and die so quickly.  She couldn't control your mother's cancer, your mother's body, so she compensates by controlling what she puts in her mouth. When you tried to intervene she controlled the situation by shutting you out for a year. 

Your sister, and her husband I would guess, needs a boatload of therapy. I would set up a face-to-face meeting with her husband alone -coffee- and find out where he stands on it all.  If he does see it as a problem, the two of you should schedule an appointment with an eating disorder specialist, and see what she or he recommends. 

The bottom line is that it sounds as if your sister is on her way to dying of this disease.  If you aggressively intervene, she may stop talking to you, but she may hang out on this planet a while longer. If you do nothing, she isn't going to talk to you because she is going to die at her own hand (not your fault).

I am so sorry