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Post by ptamom on Jul 5, 2014 6:40:42 GMT
I felt like I was seeing her for the last time.
she is a skeleton. She has lost a lot of hair. She walks stooped over.
she came to our parents 4th of July BBQ, and OMFG she has aged 10 years since I saw her at Thanksgiving!
Years ago, ago, when we were living in the same town, I tried to do a gentle intervention, which resulted in her avoiding me for a year. I ended up moving near our family, and a few years she moved near too, and things were cordial again.
i cannot believe how frail she is. And her husband is a fitness trainer!
im so sad right now!
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Deleted
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Nov 12, 2024 22:58:10 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2014 6:52:42 GMT
I am sorry. Bulimia is in my family too as my sister had it growing up. She didn't have anorexia but hated her body image and made her self sick.
I am sorry your sister is so unwell. I will pray she sees the light. Is the only way she can have control in her life? I don't know what causes it or how to treat it other than therapy.
I am sorry. I am sending warm, gentle hugs.
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Post by miominmio on Jul 5, 2014 7:06:37 GMT
It's difficult to witness a loved one being so sick. Hugs to you.
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Post by stargazer on Jul 5, 2014 7:27:42 GMT
So sorry for you & your family xx
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Jul 5, 2014 7:33:38 GMT
I'm sorry. I can't imagine the how helpless and frustrated you must feel. I hope that she's able to get the help that she needs soon.
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Post by lucyg on Jul 5, 2014 7:37:17 GMT
I'm sorry, too. My DD had to deal with eating disorders in high school. She still has food issues, but she has learned to handle them pretty well on her own. I hope your sister improves.
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Post by gar on Jul 5, 2014 7:41:21 GMT
I'm sorry...
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Post by carolynhasacat on Jul 5, 2014 7:49:09 GMT
I have two cousins struggling with this. One is recovering, the other is getting sicker. The one recovering has had 20 years of therapy and it's still a daily struggle for her. I'm sorry to hear about your sister. I hope she gets the help she needs soon.
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Post by ptamom on Jul 5, 2014 8:09:07 GMT
So, to give more background, my sister was an incredibly competitive swimmer. We traveled all over California every weekend to her meets.
Just when she was invited to try out for the Junior Olympics, our mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It had metastisized to her lungs, and she died six months later.
So, my sister lost her sport, stopped swimming, and if you've ever seen an athlete that had a ton of muscle, just stop exercising, you'd know that the muscle bulk turns to fat bulk rather quickly.
So, my sister got fat. Which devastated her. So she started binging, purging, starving, etc. She got thinner.
Then she started exercising, which seemed good for a few years, she was skinny but was muscular.
Today, she was skeletal, stooped over, OMG Icannot believe how near death she looks
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Post by I-95 on Jul 5, 2014 8:10:45 GMT
I'm so sorry, you must be heartbroken to see her like that. I'm sure your BIL has tried to get her some help, but eating disorders are one of the hardest habits to break. I hope she is able to pull out of this.
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oaksong
Drama Llama
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Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on Jul 5, 2014 8:12:42 GMT
What a difficult thing for your family to go through. Sadly, I lost my ex SIL to alcoholism and bulemia. Alanon really helped my brother cope with her illness and he was able to move on before she hit bottom.
I hope your sister will accept help before it's too late. Does her husband understand how serious this is?
I wish you all the best.
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Post by ptamom on Jul 5, 2014 8:23:02 GMT
What a difficult thing for your family to go through. Sadly, I lost my ex SIL to alcoholism and bulemia. Alanon really helped my brother cope with her illness and he was able to move on before she hit bottom. I hope your sister will accept help before it's too late. Does her husband understand how serious this is? I wish you all the best. Her husband is a fitness trainer. We cannot fathom that he cannot see how sickly she is. But the last time I confronted them about my sister's health, they stopped communicating with me for over a year. i truly do not know what to do. |
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oaksong
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Post by oaksong on Jul 5, 2014 8:42:34 GMT
I wish I had an answer for you. Alanon might be a start. Even before you updated the background, I knew she must have experienced some type of trauma. Same with my ex SIL. Some people aren't able to cope as well as others. Just keep loving her, praying for her and supporting her the best you can. Sorry about the loss of your mother at such a young age.
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Post by pmk on Jul 5, 2014 9:17:25 GMT
You must feel so helpless, I'd have no idea what to do in that situation.
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kim68
Full Member
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Jun 26, 2014 2:52:12 GMT
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Post by kim68 on Jul 5, 2014 11:01:12 GMT
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I really hope her husband or a friend can get her in the right direction. (((Hugs)))
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Post by junebugz on Jul 5, 2014 11:30:31 GMT
I am so sorry. I know it must be so hard for you. I don't have any answers but I hope she gets the help she needs.
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Post by Really Red on Jul 5, 2014 11:37:35 GMT
 I just wanted to add how sorry I am about this all. It's frustrating you cannot make your sister and her husband see. |
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Post by ingrid6 on Jul 5, 2014 11:45:09 GMT
I'm so sorry. It must be so difficult to see her like that. Strength for her, you and your family.
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Post by ChicagoKTS on Jul 5, 2014 12:30:03 GMT
I am so sorry you are going through this.
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purplebee
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Post by purplebee on Jul 5, 2014 12:43:25 GMT
Oh how sad and how helpless you must feel. Just let her know you love her and be there if and when she needs you, and pray for healing. Her husband is probably just as frustrated as you are about her situation, but she is an adult and his hands are tied. Has he indicated that he has tried to get her help? I can't imagine how difficult this must be. Hugs to you and your family.
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Post by Scrapbrat on Jul 5, 2014 12:52:44 GMT
I am so sorry. I have struggled for decades as well and I've kind of given up to the illness. It's hard to think about the way it affects my family and friends. I am really very sorry. OP I'm so sorry. It's hard to really do anything to help when someone is an adult and makes their own choices. Janetr, please don't stop trying to get help. Your family loves you and I'm sure they can help support you. |
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TankTop
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Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Jul 5, 2014 13:07:38 GMT
I am so sorry. Could you call a treatment center and see if you have any options? I have no idea, maybe something like a hold they do with those who are a danger to themselves. I am just grasping.
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Post by peasapie on Jul 5, 2014 13:13:50 GMT
There are some amazing places for treating people with A&B. a lot is now known about it. When I suffered from it in the 70s, I never even knew it was something that affected others. I felt alone, and I was obsessed with protecting my ability to keep starving myself. ( that's why your sister avoided you for a year. You threatened the disease she's protecting.). It took me a couple of years to get over it, and I had no support other than the desire not to die, But now there are places that are very experienced with this. You could contact them and ask for suggestions on how to support her and encourage her.
I'm guessing her husband says nothing so as not to alienate her further and because he doesn't know what to do. Have you tried speaking with him alone- not with her present.
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anniebygaslight
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 5, 2014 13:23:35 GMT
I feel for you. So hard to watch helplessly as someone deteriorates.
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Post by *KatyCupcake* on Jul 5, 2014 13:27:18 GMT
Is there no one who will have her admitted to a hospital? If she is so bad I would hope someone does something to intervene. Im so sorry she is suffering. Eating disorders are awful awful awful.
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Judy26
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Post by Judy26 on Jul 5, 2014 14:00:51 GMT
As a teacher I have seen so many students struggle with this disease. I know how hard it is to sit back and watch it steal a loved one from you. I never know what to do because you don't want to alienate or push someone closer to the edge. I hope your sister can find some courage to get help soon.
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gloryjoy
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Post by gloryjoy on Jul 5, 2014 14:06:52 GMT
I'm so sorry for your sister and your family. I too hope she can get help.
Janetr, please try and get some help. People love and care about you.
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Post by nepean on Jul 5, 2014 14:26:13 GMT
I am sorry you and your family are dealing with this, it is so very sad.
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Post by BeckyTech on Jul 5, 2014 14:34:48 GMT
I am so sorry. I have struggled for decades as well and I've kind of given up to the illness. It's hard to think about the way it affects my family and friends. I am really very sorry. Janet, I remember that you've had some tough issues to deal with, including depression. Please get the help you need, hon, because it does affect your family and friends and they do need you. Even some people on a message board think of you and worry about you. OP, I'm so sorry about your sister. I know I would be devastated if mine were going through something like that. Hugs to you both. |
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eastcoastpea
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 5, 2014 14:40:17 GMT
I'm so sorry for your sister and your family. I too hope she can get help. Janetr, please try and get some help. People love and care about you. I agree with gloryjoy. |
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I just wanted to add how sorry I am about this all. It's frustrating you cannot make your sister and her husband see. 
