Why Does Exercise Have a Gender Gap?

I don’t, and I’ll own it. Honestly, there aren’t many things that I truly enjoy doing exercise wise, I hate it all. I used to be able to go roller skating with my kid pre-pandemic on Wednesday nights when DH was in his sports leagues. I even bought both of us skates because we were going every week for a couple years running. But Covid shut down our local indoor rink. The next closest one is about a 40 minute drive one way which would mean driving back and getting home much later at night than I like, and we’re not home other times when it’s open. Having arthritis in my feet and lower back and living with chronic pain also makes everything less enjoyable than it otherwise might be. Truthfully, if I had an extra hour in my day that I could allocate to anything, I would put it toward sleeping more which is also something I don’t get enough of.

When I was a SAHM and had lots of time I exercised every day. I had 2-3 hours to stretch a walk into a morning at the playground because most days I had nowhere I *had* to be at a certain time. Now that I’m back at work I don’t have that luxury so exercise has definitely taken a back seat. I do still try to get a walk in but I’m not doing peloton work outs or any kind of strength training like I used to.

For years it was no time or energy. Now it's more no energy and well I find it so boring. I've tried listening to music, audio books etc. And it's still boring. I've never been athletic/sporty. The only type of exercise I have ever enjoyed was tumbling/gymnastics as a child. And at 53 and quite overweight that's not a good choice.

I'm trying to get better at going for walks and using the elliptical but I can never seem to stick to it. I do wish we had a bungee fitness place nearby as the first time I saw that online I thought THAT LOOKS LIKE HUGE FUN! But nope, nothing close enough to do it regularly.

As an habitual exerciser for years, and admittedly somewhat athletically gifted, I have also wondered about this, because personally, my life goes to shit when I don't exercise. I don't like feeling bad and out of touch with my body. I think people think exercise is only for the athletically gifted, and they don't want to look bad and be embarrassed when they're just starting out.

I think one of the main reasons is that people think oh, unless I do A B or C I'm not really exercising. I think unless people find the type of exercise that resonates with them. It's not one size fits all, so it involves a little self exploration. You don't like running? Try some type of dancing.

Exercise is hard. Damn hard. Self-motivation is hard. Loving oneself enough can be difficult. Finding time for it for some people can be rough. I've got a friend who's just taken a new job and is traveling a lot. I know I personally would have trouble maintaining a routine with lots of travel. But if you think creatively, it can be done--it just may be more challenging, and when just exercising is challenging enough, well...But every hotel she stays in I'm sure has a gym.

The point is that there is so much pushing people not to exercise, they never reach the point where it is rewarding. The sense of agency and power, the endorphins released, the feeling of well-being, comfort in one's body and the pleasure that comes from moving well. Once it's a habit, I find I miss it, and I get cranky when I don't get it.

And we are raising generations of sedentary children. Elementary education has cut back on physical activity--when I was in grade school, we had 3! recesses of 30 minutes a day. Kids are couch potatoes with their noses stuck in devices.

Back in my 20s, when I was the literally the only woman in the gym lifting weights, it was popular for women to say Oh, I don't want to become too muscular, because that's not feminine. They'd see photos of female bodybuilders who were obviously using steroids to build unnatural muscle. The first time I remember reading a positive account of women and their musculature was after Linda Hamilton's arms were on display in The Terminator in 1984. (I've seen photos, never seen the movie) And women said, I want that.

I feel so much better when I exercise. Unfortunately, I don't make it a priority. I wish I had started exercising when I was much younger but I don't feel like it was stressed enough.

For me, it's a priority thing. I can find a lot of excuses to avoid it. I have been walking daily since we have a puppy. But somedays it's a challenge, I am very much a routine and morning person, I like to get up, shower and dive into work early ( before 6:30 am) If I walk, it throws my schedule into a tailspin, and end up not showering until late morning/mid day, then I feel like my "good" part of the day is gone. Also, living in Central Texas, if you don't walk early it gets too hot for most of the day.

DH doesn't "exercise" other than to walk the dog, however, he is a cattle rancher and is very active when he's at the ranch. I call it a lifestyle difference more than a Gender difference.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :-)

I'm very hit or miss and I have plenty of excuses for why I'm not - I can't seem to build a regular habit on my own is probably the main one (chronic pain, weather, and not prioritising it are right up there too though).

I swam probably 4-5 times a week during the summers that DS was still living at home after he got his license. The only 'public' pool here belongs to the school district and has very limited hours - mainly Memorial day to Labour 1-5 M-F (1-7 if you bought a membership). I don't drive and there's no public transport here. But DS liked to swim so he would take me and the girls when he got off work (or had a day off - he worked weekends so usually had 2 days off during the week). I miss that - swimming is my absolute favourite form of exercise.

I also walked most days when he was living at home. He had to lose 100lbs in order to enlist and walking 5miles/day was part of his regimen and I would walk with him in the evenings. But Dh wasn't keen on me walking by myself at night (no sidewalks or street lights where we lived then or now) and most of the year, it's too hot to walk outside during daylight.

We do have a home gym with weights, exercise bike, and rowing machine - and I'm trying to get in the habit of doing something in there every day or most days or at least some days...I'm not there yet though.

I do tend to keep up on my PT exercises for the most part and I was happy to find out during my recent trip to the UK that I could easily walk 4-5 miles followed by walking around touring someplace or another so I'm not completely 100% out of shape despite my chronic joint issues.

But on a day to day basis - I haven't really figured out a good routine for myself that includes exercise and I'm the sort of person where missing a single day effectively derails any habit forming. And while I AM at home all day most days...there's always loads of other things to do...housework, laundry, talking with (listening to) one of my adult kids, scrapbooking, genealogy, keeping track of the calender for everyone, cooking, groceries, baking, sewing, organising...many of which require less willpower to do.

That said - I do exercise more than DH does so there's that.

Not picking on you, but this stood out to me. 

I think it's 'easy' to forget how good moving your body feels. For me, the 'feel bad' part didn't happen immediately. It was slowly and almost not noticeable until it my body was really mad about not moving for awhile. Then once I did start feeling the effects of not moving, I didn't immediately put 2 + 2 together. Honestly, only once I started moving again did I make the connection that so much of how bad I felt was because I wasn't moving enough. 

I agree with one thing in the article - companionship while working out. I've always been involved in sports, so I've worked out with others quite a bit. It motivates me more. Even now with my current gym, I get motivation from others in my class, and we know each other. For a short time, I worked out at a gym by my workplace. It was a regular big chain gym, and I went at lunch, and did the machines and cardio by myself. It was boring and I hated it! For a few years, my GF and I went to aerobic classes three times a week together. That was fun. Then life happened and we went less and less together. I think having someone working out with you is very helpful for motivation.

And then I feel like we just don't emphasize sports enough for our girls when they are young. The young girls are bombarded with ads for makeup and clothing. I am glad to see more and more ads featuring women athletes. Mothers also have a hard time finding time for themselves with having to juggle kids, spouses, jobs, etc. Those things have higher priority than one's own self, which is not good, but a fact of life.

Yes! I see ads around town for men's team leagues, but none for women.

Someone here (sorry I forget who) - recommended this book - and I did enjoy it.
It emphasizes how important exercise is as you age, you should exercise 6 days per week (and 4 of those should be hard exercise) for the rest of your life.

When women get together and want to do something, usually they go eat and/or go shopping. When men get together, they go play golf, surf, maybe biking. I know this is a broad generalization, and some women do get together to play golf or go hiking, but in general, and what you see in ads, is women out together shopping and/or eating.