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Post by Merge on Feb 20, 2025 22:18:30 GMT
Both of you just need to move to Denver. It's not far from either St. Louis or Texas. There are other peas around here too, based on posts. If we ever leave Texas, that’s likely where we’ll go. DH grew up in Colorado Springs, and he and I met in grad school in Greeley. We both have a soft spot for Denver. |
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Post by pantsonfire on Feb 20, 2025 22:33:07 GMT
I think you've gone a different direction with my post then I intended. And unfortunately this is as Merge mentioned earlier, hurtful. I've tried a couple times to figure out how to get my thoughts down, without offending anyone.. and I can't. Several of these posts have the effect of "We don't want your kind here." Or if you have to be here, can't you just be more quiet about it. No. There is serious stuff going down, and we shouldn't try to shove it into limited threads, or a separate board because, like in the rest of the world, some people can't simply "not be X,Y or Z," but not even being able to tolerate seeing X,Y, Z.
Political peas aren't trying to exclude non-political posts. Post away, be the change you want! But it's not enough, is it? "Political peas have to be different," is the solution. If non-political posts aren't getting the engagement people want, that isn't the responsibility of political peas to fix. I've participated in non-political posts, but being childless or having a job outside the home, limits which other types of threads I can participate in, because I don't have the experience or qualifications to do so. Peas have moved on due to life changes, health changes, interest changes, etc. There are a multitude of reasons why something doesn't get engagement, and blaming it on political posts is really crappy.
But this is why I don't have adult friends in real life. Because whenever discussions start, I'm the weird one who knows too much about something, cares too much about serious stuff and not enough about innocuous stuff, doesn't interact with the stuff they do, etc. It may not be what people *intend* but the result is making people who are wired the way I am feel bad and wrong. Being perceptive - wrong. Being engaged - wrong. Being knowledgeable - wrong. Do you know how many times growing up, I wished to "just not be smart," and be like the other kids who cared more about entertainment or fashion than history or science? But I'm not given space to feel who I am are truly positive personal attributes... it's usually centered so that "normal" people don't have to feel uncomfortable about their lack of interest, perception or understanding. I'm supposed to understand others instead of vice versa. As an adult, it's the same... don't make others feel bad by being who you are, or participating in things you enjoy. "If you have to... can you just do it over there, while everyone else plays in the main space?"
Bravo! Please make room on your bench for me. I am happy to be your overinformed, pop-culture illiterate friend. Maybe we wouldn't be in this space if "entertainment" were valued less and more people weren't trying to stay away from politics. Seems how policitics drives how we live our lives, I find a lot of entitlement and privilege in people that "can choose" to not participate, to not know what is really going on, and can't understand why others need to connect over it. If you are care about about prices, healthcare, education, safety, small business, roads, weather, farming, religion, the list goes on and on, you care about policitics. These things most likely effect you, but if you are lucky enought that they don't, it certainly affects your neighbor, your community, and the world and affected people shouldn't be expected to just stew in it. Some people aren't in a situation that they can just hide from how these things are turning thier lives upside down. I don't cook, so I whiz on by the cooking threads and medical threads make me sure I now have that affliction so I speed on by... Just sayin'... That is your assumption. And a wrong one at that. You know full well the hoops I have had to jump through for the past...oh I dono...19 + years since being a medically complex mom. And that has certainly increased in the last 8 or 9. Well before Trump part 1. The fight has always been there. Both under Dem and Republican presidents. Yes. Both. There is nothing wrong with seeking refuge. There is nothing wrong with seeking a safe space to not be engaged in politics. Politics has run my ds life since he was born. But you know what? I need breaks. I need somewhere to go where I can not be surrounded by the shit going on. And to call that privilege is wrong. So what if I and others want to turn off news? So what if I and others want to disengage from the shit storm we live every day? No one is saying there shouldn't be politics. No one is calling another weird for being super engaged. What some peas are saying is ready the room sometimes. Stop making every post political when it didn't start out that way. Stop looking down on peas who want to just be here for fun and take a break from daily crap. And realize that some peas just don't care when we are here. Because I can't care 100% of the time. I'd be mentally sick if I focused on every thing going on. Good to those who chose to do that and want to. But some of us don't. Or can't because we have other things of more importance. You can't say that your thing is more important than another's. If the person cares about entertainment today, cool. It is important to them right now, today. And it may be the one thing keeping them from jumping off the ledge. Oh and people are triggered by stuff. So just scrolling on by doesn't work |
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Post by Zee on Feb 20, 2025 22:38:44 GMT
One can be intelligent and still enjoy pop culture, in case anyone seems to have forgotten that.
If you can't find intelligent adult friends, maybe it's you. I think the tone a lot of intelligent but socially, um, not adept? people is that they're just too smart to relate to all of us idiots who enjoy pop culture references, ridiculousness, etc. It's very off-putting. So yes, go ahead and stay over there if you're giving the vibe that you prefer it.
I have a couple family members like this. Everything is always direly serious.
How about if we all lose expectations that others here will or will not post about political matters? We all have differences that contribute to this place being one I still value.
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Post by LiLi on Feb 20, 2025 22:43:09 GMT
I have felt attacked for a few years in more than one part of my life. My loved ones are being attacked directly; my beliefs are being made illegal; religious beliefs are being forced on me by the government, and My president calls me names on a daily. His family and his followers threaten violence and emotional warfare. Tell liberals, "Get in line or else." What does that mean?! It is terrifying!
It's so hard to read people complaining that they don't like "name calling" here when they are okay and want this.
The president posts, I'm the king bullshit on all the official government social pages, and the first responses are in the vein of, "Take that, liberals, yeah!"
You guys have put this on us. And you are worried about name-calling here? Really?
I can understand not turning a non-political post political. That is reasonable in most cases. But some things just ARE political.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Feb 20, 2025 22:46:00 GMT
Both of you just need to move to Denver. It's not far from either St. Louis or Texas. There are other peas around here too, based on posts. If we ever leave Texas, that’s likely where we’ll go. DH grew up in Colorado Springs, and he and I met in grad school in Greeley. We both have a soft spot for Denver. I wish!!! My DH thinks Colorado is too liberal for him to be comfortable. I'm working on him, but... We do miss the open vistas of the western US; the climate in Phx was getting pretty hot in the summers, so I don't know if we'll go back there. Maybe I could convince him that Colorado is 'west' without the hellish temps. |
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Post by hopemax on Feb 20, 2025 22:48:09 GMT
hopemax said: But this is why I don't have adult friends in real life. Because whenever discussions start, I'm the weird one who knows too much about something, cares too much about serious stuff and not enough about innocuous stuff, doesn't interact with the stuff they do, etc. It may not be what people *intend* but the result is making people who are wired the way I am feel bad and wrong. Being perceptive - wrong. Being engaged - wrong. Being knowledgeable - wrong. Do you know how many times growing up, I wished to "just not be smart," and be like the other kids who cared more about entertainment or fashion than history or science? But I'm not given space to feel who I am are truly positive personal attributes... it's usually centered so that "normal" people don't have to feel uncomfortable about their lack of interest, perception or understanding. I'm supposed to understand others instead of vice versa. As an adult, it's the same... don't make others feel bad by being who you are, or participating in things you enjoy. "If you have to... can you just do it over there, while everyone else plays in the main space?" I have never felt words so deeply at any other time on this board. ❤️ I am different and I feel it in real life acutely. I have been shamed for it by my whole family my entire life. I often feel separate from the peas and it's even on threads that seem innocuous. And it doesn't matter how strong of a person you are or how comfortable you may be with yourself, it hurts to feel excluded or like you just don't fit in. And I'm tolerating it less and less as I get older. Me too. Sometimes that makes it worse because in speaking up for yourself, it opens a door for people to twist it into, "See, you aren't hearing *me*," and reinforce that you're the bad guy in their head. And when people see you as a strong person it gives them license to throw cruel words at you. Either you respond, and you've taken their bait. Or you be the bigger person and ignore it, and they've gotten away with saying cruel things that everyone else heard. Both ways they win, and you lose. So after years of leaning more into non-confrontational, I've realized that all this really does is cede the floor to their reality. If all these people get to freely spout lies and ignorance, why do I have to be silent for reality and knowledge?
In this whole greater political conversation, for years now, there has been an assault on expertise, knowledge, truth, reality. People may claim they want and respect these things, but then their actions demonstrate something else. And the reality is, these things lost, bigly. Which gets reinforced whenever people say, "Why does everything have to be so political." Sorry, but that's grown up life. And now more than ever, it's impossible to separate the "what" from both the "why" and "responses to what."
And in response to Bsnyder's mention of illiterate to pop culture. That's not me either! Honestly, I enjoy sports, music, tv, movies. But it's like eating a meal and having dessert. Those conversations aren't the one that tickle my brain, or fill my belly. I can participate in them, and say all the right things, they have their place. But I still have this empty feeling while others leave feeling satisfied and full. Which doesn't seem to register with anyone else who thinks we're all equally full. And then it gets re-interpreted like Zee's post that insinuates a whole lot of different things than what was actually being expressed.
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Post by Zee on Feb 20, 2025 22:50:10 GMT
hopemax said: But this is why I don't have adult friends in real life. Because whenever discussions start, I'm the weird one who knows too much about something, cares too much about serious stuff and not enough about innocuous stuff, doesn't interact with the stuff they do, etc. It may not be what people *intend* but the result is making people who are wired the way I am feel bad and wrong. Being perceptive - wrong. Being engaged - wrong. Being knowledgeable - wrong. Do you know how many times growing up, I wished to "just not be smart," and be like the other kids who cared more about entertainment or fashion than history or science? But I'm not given space to feel who I am are truly positive personal attributes... it's usually centered so that "normal" people don't have to feel uncomfortable about their lack of interest, perception or understanding. I'm supposed to understand others instead of vice versa. As an adult, it's the same... don't make others feel bad by being who you are, or participating in things you enjoy. "If you have to... can you just do it over there, while everyone else plays in the main space?" I have never felt words so deeply at any other time on this board. ❤️ I am different and I feel it in real life acutely. I have been shamed for it by my whole family my entire life. I often feel separate from the peas and it's even on threads that seem innocuous. And it doesn't matter how strong of a person you are or how comfortable you may be with yourself, it hurts to feel excluded or like you just don't fit in. And I'm tolerating it less and less as I get older. Me too. Sometimes that makes it worse because in speaking up for yourself, it opens a door for people to twist it into, "See, you aren't hearing *me*," and reinforce that you're the bad guy in their head. And when people see you as a strong person it gives them license to throw cruel words at you. Either you respond, and you've taken their bait. Or you be the bigger person and ignore it, and they've gotten away with saying cruel things that everyone else heard. Both ways they win, and you lose. So after years of leaning more into non-confrontational, I've realized that all this really does is cede the floor to their reality. If all these people get to freely spout lies and ignorance, why do I have to be silent for reality and knowledge?
In this whole greater political conversation, for years now, there has been an assault on expertise, knowledge, truth, reality. People may claim they want and respect these things, but then their actions demonstrate something else. And the reality is, these things lost, bigly. Which gets reinforced whenever people say, "Why does everything have to be so political." Sorry, but that's grown up life. And now more than ever, it's impossible to separate the "what" from both the "why" and "responses to what."
And in response to Bsnyder's mention of illiterate to pop culture. That's not me either! Honestly, I enjoy sports, music, tv, movies. But it's like eating a meal and having dessert. Those conversations aren't the one that tickle my brain, or fill my belly. I can participate in them, and say all the right things, they have their place. But I still have this empty feeling while others leave feeling satisfied and full. Which doesn't seem to register with anyone else who thinks we're all equally full. And then it gets re-interpreted like Zee's post that insinuates a whole lot of different things than what was actually being expressed.
"Sorry, but that's grown up life" |
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Post by hopemax on Feb 20, 2025 22:55:12 GMT
"Sorry, but that's grown up life" Yes, as opposed to when you're a kid and the world is smaller and less complex, because you don't have the experience or knowledge to see the bigger picture. The layers you learn as you grow older, and mature. I'm sure you have imagined I have said something completely different |
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Post by MichyM on Feb 20, 2025 23:03:49 GMT
hopemax , I am deeply sorry. I did not intend to be hurtful/cause hurt feelings to anyone, and I apologize for wording my reply above poorly. When sharing my thoughts here, I try to be careful not to force my opinions onto others. This one was a fail for you. I hope you can forgive me. Again, I know most of the time people don't *intend* to cause hurt.
However, the result ends up in a predictable place. I'm supposed to extend grace and understanding for other people's circumstances, that is often not returned in kind.
I’m not sure what to say here. Yes, I am asking for grace and understanding from you towards me and my post that you replied to. I am genuinely sorry for hurt that my post sharing my thoughts caused to you, truly. We’ve never really spoken before to my recollection. That said, I do suffer from CRS, so there’s a chance that I’ve forgotten. I am unaware of how you prefer to communicate here, nor you with me, and written world can easily be misunderstood/misconstrued. I try to measure my words carefully when I post. I failed here. If you would like to discuss further, please feel free to reach out privately. And if you’d rather not have anything to do with me, that’s ok too. *** I just realized that you quoted my post before I realized that I used the word you instead of me in that last sentence and edited quickly to correct it. *** |
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Post by hopemax on Feb 20, 2025 23:07:40 GMT
One can be intelligent and still enjoy pop culture, in case anyone seems to have forgotten that. If you can't find intelligent adult friends, maybe it's you. I think the tone a lot of intelligent but socially, um, not adept? people is that they're just too smart to relate to all of us idiots who enjoy pop culture references, ridiculousness, etc. It's very off-putting. So yes, go ahead and stay over there if you're giving the vibe that you prefer it. I have a couple family members like this. Everything is always direly serious. How about if we all lose expectations that others here will or will not post about political matters? We all have differences that contribute to this place being one I still value. Any other relationship advice on this board: "If you don't feel like the relationship is reciprocal and your needs aren't getting met, step away from that relationship."
Meeting intellectual needs: How dare you think you are superior then the rest of us! You're the problem! |
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Post by hopemax on Feb 20, 2025 23:10:04 GMT
Again, I know most of the time people don't *intend* to cause hurt.
However, the result ends up in a predictable place. I'm supposed to extend grace and understanding for other people's circumstances, that is often not returned in kind.
I’m not sure what to say here. Yes, I am asking for grace and understanding from you towards me and my post that you replied to. I am genuinely sorry for hurt that my post sharing my thoughts caused to you, truly. We’ve never really spoken before to my recollection. That said, I do suffer from CRS, so there’s a chance that I’ve forgotten. I am unaware of how you prefer to communicate here, nor you with me, and written world can easily be misunderstood/misconstrued. I try to measure my words carefully when I post. I failed here. If you would like to discuss further, please feel free to reach out privately. And if you’d rather not have anything to do with me, that’s ok too. *** I just realized that you quoted my post before I realized that I used the word you instead of me in that last sentence and edited quickly to correct it. *** *sigh* I give up. I was explaining where I was coming from; what is usually expected from me. I didn't expect a response. I was trying to acknowledge you intended no harm. That's all. And obviously failed at that. |
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Post by lisae on Feb 20, 2025 23:14:25 GMT
I am a blue dot in a red state. I don’t discuss politics w/Dh very much. I have no like-minded coworkers or nearby friends that I can talk to. Most of my liberal supporters are friends and kin out of state. I actively seek out the political threads here b/c they validate my own beliefs and give me a sense of community. I also read HCR and post on Bluesky. I hope that this board does not change. I find it very easy to scroll past threads that are not of interest to me. Agreed. DH and I can talk about some topics but not others. I have a few people IRL but 80% of the people around me voted differently than I did so it's safer to stay away from politics IRL. If I don't already know someone's political opinion, I'd rather not know. I can see taking a break from the board but I don't think I would ever delete my account. There's too much history here, too many things I might want to reference. |
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Post by Zee on Feb 20, 2025 23:28:15 GMT
One can be intelligent and still enjoy pop culture, in case anyone seems to have forgotten that. If you can't find intelligent adult friends, maybe it's you. I think the tone a lot of intelligent but socially, um, not adept? people is that they're just too smart to relate to all of us idiots who enjoy pop culture references, ridiculousness, etc. It's very off-putting. So yes, go ahead and stay over there if you're giving the vibe that you prefer it. I have a couple family members like this. Everything is always direly serious. How about if we all lose expectations that others here will or will not post about political matters? We all have differences that contribute to this place being one I still value. Any other relationship advice on this board: "If you don't feel like the relationship is reciprocal and your needs aren't getting met, step away from that relationship."
Meeting intellectual needs: How dare you think you are superior then the rest of us! You're the problem! Whose intellectual needs? Your own? You said you had a problem connecting with people. I'm seeing why. |
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Post by hopemax on Feb 20, 2025 23:34:48 GMT
Any other relationship advice on this board: "If you don't feel like the relationship is reciprocal and your needs aren't getting met, step away from that relationship."
Meeting intellectual needs: How dare you think you are superior then the rest of us! You're the problem! Whose intellectual needs? Your own? You said you had a problem connecting with people. I'm seeing why. Both people's! |
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westiemom
Full Member
Posts: 107
Aug 14, 2023 4:21:57 GMT
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Post by westiemom on Feb 21, 2025 2:14:12 GMT
Pretty sure a lot of people would leave because it seems if you voted for Trump there are only extremely nasty and hate filled things said to you---it is though people do not have the right to support whoever they want to. I never say such horrible things said to people as were said to those that are Trump supporters. If people leave, it is probably because they do not wish to be verbally abused for their right to choose for themselves. Well, isn't this something.
With just 24 posts, it is pretty easy to look back at all the hateful things you have said in 24 posts. Calling people whiners and telling people to get over it to name just two.
It's on YOU! You and all the low IQ tag-a-longs who somehow believe your life will be better for supporting this orange clown and his goons. Well it won't.
I have never wished ill on anyone until the last two months. For every person who has inflicted this disaster on our nation, I wish you nothing but the worst.
Personally, I hope you leave. |
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Post by miominmio on Feb 21, 2025 6:27:55 GMT
I’m Norwegian, we’re blunt. |
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Post by miominmio on Feb 21, 2025 6:34:00 GMT
If you vote for a deranged nazi who is in Putin’s pocket, threatening allies and making so many people’s lives a living nightmare, you do not have the right to not be called out for being the scum that you are. This type of response is exactly why people leave. Good! If you for one second believe I’m going to go out of my way to make fascists feel good about themselves, and the Hitler they gleefully voted for, you’re wrong. I don’t post much anymore, but I will never keep my silence when facing true evil. |
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Post by miominmio on Feb 21, 2025 13:23:37 GMT
If you vote for a deranged nazi who is in Putin’s pocket, threatening allies and making so many people’s lives a living nightmare, you do not have the right to not be called out for being the scum that you are. Pussy. Or ass. It’s more likely it’s Putin who is so far up FF’s ass that the orange dimwit is choking. |
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,948 
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Post by scrapngranny on Feb 21, 2025 23:34:01 GMT
If you choose to voice your political opinions, you need to be brave enough to take the heat. If you can’t, keep your opinion to yourself.
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Post by aj2hall on Feb 22, 2025 3:54:12 GMT
If you choose to voice your political opinions, you need to be brave enough to take the heat. If you can’t, keep your opinion to yourself. Thank you for your post. I’ve been thinking about this for the last 2 days but was waiting for someone to articulate it more clearly than I can. The sheer hypocrisy, audacity and entitlement of calling others bitter, telling them to get over themselves repeatedly, accusing them of moaning, whining, having their heads in the sand and not thinking for themselves, insulting their intelligence, gleefully supporting Trump and then demanding respect is unbelievable.(Just like the orange menace, accuse others of what you are guilty. Most of these insults are projection.) Everyone is entitled to their opinion and to vote for whoever they want. If you choose to brag about supporting someone who is hurting so many people, someone who insults others on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, don’t expect to be treated with respect. The way you treat others determines how you will be treated. Treat others dismissively and disrespectfully, expect to get that back. |
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