Has a parent left you?

TankTop your situation was far worse.

Hard question, was she prone to wondering, leaving home or very unhappy? I s there any chance she encountered foul play and was unable to come home?

My father left the family in 1962 and it wasn’t until 1978 I had any contact with him. It was difficult as I was no longer a child and he seemed to have a problem dealing with that.

We had some contact over the years but his wife was very jealous of our relationship and made things very difficult. He passed away in 1994 and she didn’t even let me know.

Sad but I am from a large family and we all supported each other - sometimes there are relationships that are just not meant to be.

{{HUGS}} to all of you!!

I am sad for all of you who did not get the parents you deserved. Every child deserves loving parents.

Please remember it is not your fault, it was a flaw in their ability to love.

I send a hug because it is all I can offer to help in this situation.

My parents divorced when I was 9 and my dad was more out than in my life until he committed suicide when I was 38.  It wasn't always easy, but my mom was a constant along with my grandparents.

My mother shunned me about 13 years ago. I had left the cult I grew up in. Nothing official. I wasn’t ousted and I never declared a severing of ties. About 13 years ago, the cult required their members to treat people who quietly left as if they were disfellowshipped/officially ousted.

She set fire to the bridge. I let it burn. In the process, I have also outgrown her. She is still stuck and being infantalized by her cult.

My lack of ever wanting a relationship with her is heavily influenced by how she has treated my son. He’s collateral damage. He’s a smart young man and recognized what was happening. Wants absolutely nothing to do with her.

I accepted abuse for years just to have family. When it came to my kid, I was done.

It’s a group nobody wants to be a member.

Mine did, too, but I was really young. It was one of the reasons my mom left him. After they divorced, he took very little interest in my siblings and me. His mother, our amazing grandmother, took heroic measures to stay in our lives. When we visited her he would turn up and play the cool dad so we thought he was some magical figure. One time I called him to tell him we were coming up to her house and he forgot. We went to NYC to see him and found out that his friends didn't know he had kids. It took a long time to figure out what an @$$hole he was. By that time, he had started to call me all the time and brag about his friend's kid. I was really over it.

It was a bummer, but I have been paid back a thousand fold by the way my life turned out. I got all my bad $#*t out of the way early.

Hugs to all of you who have been left. It's so very painful.

Yes, I have hit the like button for everyone's posts. Certainly not because I like all of the pain caused by those that are supposed to love us the most, but because I want you to know that I see you and I care about you.

My parents divorced when I was 3 months. My dad never exercised his visitation. When I was 4yo, he was living in Louisiana with my aunt. He left one day and never came back. My other aunt and I were very close when I was growing up. She never knew what happened to her brother.

When I was a teenager, my mom was on welfare for a bit. They automatically look for the other parent. Mom gave them his SSN. We learned we were 1 digit off. They were always 6 months behind where he had been.

When I was almost 21, he called my aunt clear out of the blue. I met him for the first time that July. We tried for about a year to build a relationship but I never really felt it was natural. He called me one night drunk and I made an excuse to get off the phone. I haven’t talked to him since. My aunt heard from him maybe about 25 years ago. He was in Atlanta and wanted her send money. My uncle refused. That was the last time we heard from him.

My mom remarried when I was 6. He was the only dad I knew. When I was 14, he left us for the woman that had been staying with us for about a year. My sister was 5.

She has chosen to be a victim bc of it. I told her once if anyone has the right to be a victim, it’s me. I had 2 dads walk out in me. One did it twice. But I choose to rise above it.

My father disowned me when I was 18 because I moved in with my boyfriend. His exact words were, "You are not my daughter. Don't come home." We did speak again after a few years, and I made it a point to facilitate a relationship between him and my kids, but things were never the same between us before he died.

My mother is still alive, but has been extremely mentally ill for years, and I feel abandoned by her. She's just not the mother I knew growing up.

I was adopted. So there’s that. I’ve told my story a hundred times. You would think that at age 74, I wouldn’t be so sensitive. But I think I’m getting more so. Briefly, I was told at age 5 ! That I was adopted. This was their baby.Their new son. But - I could stay until I was 18 years old.
At that very instant I realized that I could not rely or trust them. That I was basically on my own. I would have to figure this all out ( my life ) myself. Which gave me an insurmountable sense of self worth.

I know no other life. It was good. It was bad. I made a lot of fear based mistakes. But, never, ever did anyone tell me what to do. I was my own person. And, thank you Gods, I was born with intelligence. I have always deeply loved myself. Um. I had no one else.

I searched my whole life to fill the hole that I didn’t know I had. Once I figured that out, I knew, it couldn’t be changed. You can’t change what happened. Can’t turn back the clock for a decade or a minute. I don’t blame anyone. Everyone has their life. And what they do with their life - really and truly has nothing to do with my life. My life is based on me and how I choose to feel.

This was a tough read, it hurt to read.
I'm moved by how strong and wise your comments are about moving forward. Hugs and applause!