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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jun 5, 2025 16:29:29 GMT
the backstory- I just turned 56, and was on anti-depressants for >25 years (Lexapro and generic) but I finally decided I wanted to get OFF of them due to the lack of libido issue (and some other things). Maybe not the smartest idea, but I weaned myself off of it over the past few months. In that 25+ years of time, I had a stroke (TIA, no lasting effects, no determined cause), had a hysterectomy, then found out I had an ovarian tumor so they also removed both my ovaries-- probably 10-ish years ago, now- maybe age 45?? (cancer was stage 1a, so no treatment. whew.)
I also currently eat like crap and am ~70 lbs overweight; we moved across the country a few years ago when my mom got sick; she ended up passed away in 2022 (I have not been handling it well at ALL); we have had some bad experiences with various pets dying / serious health issues; I had cataracts and surgery on both eyes over the past few months; and I decided a few months ago to separate from my DH (we've been together 21 years). I'm signing the least on a rental house tomorrow. So- There's LOTS of stress going on in my life, and has been off and on for years. whew.
In the middle of all the relationship / separation anxiety (and some very real relationship issues that need addressing), I have also had episodes of RAGE. Just full-on ANGER. At some pretty irrational / petty things- like my DH shutting a window that I had just opened. Stupid / small stuff. His loud breathing in bed at night makes me crazy. Traffic on the road (which usually doesn't bother me)... not being able to open a container. etc. Honestly, I have wondered multiple times if I am actually going crazy. Maybe being drugged in a padded room is the answer.
I know I need to find a counselor, get my eating in order, lose weight, get better sleep, etc. (all things I hope to fix with the separation)... but...
my Menopause related question: could a lot of these things be related to menopause / lack of estrogen? The rage, the anxiety, some of the other stuff?? Could the anti-depressants have been 'masking' menopause related concerns for all those years? I never had a doctor tell me what would happen once they removed my ovaries. I never had hot flashes, but some of this other stuff, it seemed to come from nowhere once the anti=depressants were out of my system.
Anyone who has been there-- Does HRT help with this? Can it stop me from feeling like I'm going crazy? I made an appt with my primary care Dr for next week to ask her, but is she the right one? Should it be a gyno, instead? Any advice from people who have been there / done that (at least with the rage / anger, anxiety, etc.) is appreciated.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jun 5, 2025 16:37:47 GMT
HRT will you put you at high risk of breast cancer. Since you're an ovarian cancer survivor don't risk it. I'm not a doctor, just a person who knows two people who developed breast cancer as a result of HRT. What about a consult with a psychiatrist who can help sort out your meds and get you on the right meds for your body? Perhaps going back on an SSRI would really help. There are different meds to try. That must be done in conjunction w/therapy.
You've been through some very painful stuff and you're currently making a huge life change. Please get a referral to a therapist who can help you sort out all of your feelings and truly heal. 3 years after my mother died someone sent me an article about "complicated grief". She then convinced me to call a therapist. I did so and it changed my life. I was able to get the meds I needed and good therapy and heal.
You deserve to be happy. You're so supportive of other people. Use that energy to be kind to yourself. You're embarking upon a new chapter of your life and it can be a really happy chapter.
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Post by jenr on Jun 5, 2025 16:40:05 GMT
Short answer to this "could a lot of these things be related to menopause / lack of estrogen?". YES. I have or had a lot of those symptoms. The rage was the worst - it was so unlike the regular me. The anxiety was crippling at times.
I didn't try HRT so can't address that, but just wanted to say I feel for you. All of those things are symptoms.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jun 5, 2025 17:00:21 GMT
thank you both! brain fog / losing words, that's another one that I have, and is super-concerning to me... forgetting words, not figuring out what I want to say / how to say it, etc.
I know I have a LOT going on right now, but the rage / anger coming out of nowhere is so not LIKE me-- I've always been a chronic people-pleaser, yes-man type of person (this is also not good, I know).
I've tried to explain some of my thinking about this to my DH (the possibility of going crazy, my anxiety, etc.) and the anger... and that it might be related to menopause. Or maybe I AM just turning into a mean / selfish / rage-filled person-- who knows. His response was 'I really don't think people quit their marriages over menopause / symptoms' and my answer was CHECK THE INTERNET- because that's the place I've finally found some of this stuff out.
I just DON'T want to go back on another SSRI if I don't have to, because it KILLED my libido for YEARS, and the withdrawal symptoms were SOOO bad that I stayed on it for years longer than I actually wanted to.
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Post by busy on Jun 5, 2025 17:02:06 GMT
HRT will you put you at high risk of breast cancer. Since you're an ovarian cancer survivor don't risk it. I'm not a doctor, just a person who knows two people who developed breast cancer as a result of HRT. What about a consult with a psychiatrist who can help sort out your meds and get you on the right meds for your body? Perhaps going back on an SSRI would really help. There are different meds to try. That must be done in conjunction w/therapy. You've been through some very painful stuff and you're currently making a huge life change. Please get a referral to a therapist who can help you sort out all of your feelings and truly heal. 3 years after my mother died someone sent me an article about "complicated grief". She then convinced me to call a therapist. I did so and it changed my life. I was able to get the meds I needed and good therapy and heal. You deserve to be happy. You're so supportive of other people. Use that energy to be kind to yourself. You're embarking upon a new chapter of your life and it can be a really happy chapter. HRT only increases the incidence of breast cancer in specific situations - not across the board. The recent science is much more specific and clear on this issue. Only your physician can determine if you are a candidate for HRT. |
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jun 5, 2025 17:05:11 GMT
Yes, those could be related to hormones. I have been dealing with this a little bit. There are some things that normally would have bothered me but lately I have a really hard time not saying something about it. For example, someone being obnoxious at a game or some other sense of injustice.
It could also be depression and the fact that you are no longer taking the medications.
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Post by mom on Jun 5, 2025 17:11:27 GMT
Can all your symptoms be a result of menopause? YES.
Can all your symptoms be a results of stress? ALSO YES.
I also think your symptoms could be a side effect of grief & depression (from your mom passing, your marriage ending, death of pets...)
IMHO you probably need to address the symptoms from both menopause & grief/depression fronts. I would be surprised honestly if it was all coming from one angle.
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milocat
Drama Llama
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Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on Jun 5, 2025 18:25:20 GMT
That's alot to go thourgh, sorry you're dealing with this all.
Yes, there are so so many menopause related symptoms. Irritation, panic attacks, heart palpitations, brain fog, insomnia, lighter periods, heavier periods, itchy ears, frozen shoulder, incontinence, UTIs, other vaginal issues, and on and on.
Having your ovaries removed throws you into menopause immediately. Which has to be so hard on the body.
Heart disease kills more women than ALL cancers combined. The old incorrectly reported study on HRT found that there was an increase risk in breast cancer from 4 in 1000 to 5 in 1000, the study was done with oral synthetic estrogen (now transdermal body identical is recommended) and on older women well past menopause age. Drinking alcohol, not sleeping, stress, bad diet, all contribute to increase risk of cancer. Those on HRT have a better chance of surviving breast cancer if they do get it. Your estrogen is higher when you're young and really high when you're pregnant yet breast cancer doesn't skyrocket then.
HRT is also protective for your brain, bones and heart and a preventative for UTIs.
Progesterone is good for sleep and mood. Estrogen is also good for mood and brain fog. Plus other things of course.
I started getting claustrophobia and panic attacks because of it and upping my progesterone has helped. I think I need to up it a bit more because it hasn't totally gone away. It's helped my heart palpitations, my sleep, my hormonal migraines. I'm still experiencing some issues and want to also get on estrogen.
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Post by ~summer~ on Jun 5, 2025 18:37:28 GMT
Have you talked to your doctor about your medication changes?
I started HRT recently and it is helping a lot.
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Post by Linda on Jun 5, 2025 18:43:45 GMT
(((hugs))) and prayers. I think an appointment with your PCP is a great start - you mentioned brain fog so I'm going to suggest you have your B12 levels checked - I chalked it up to hormonal changes but in my case, it wasn't. I'll second scrapmaven's suggestion of a psychiatrist/therapist - there are more options med-wise today than 25 years ago but even if you choose to avoid meds, therapy will help - you have a lot of stressors and transitions in your life and that takes time to work through. |
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Post by MichyM on Jun 5, 2025 19:03:10 GMT
I’m so sorry that you’re currently struggling so much ❤️ I’m on the run and can’t address everything, however your complaint about the meds killing your libido IMHO shouldn’t be a guiding factor AT THIS TIME since you said that you are planning on divorcing your husband.
During the end of peri, within an 18 month period of time I lost both my sister and my mom, we moved, my son graduated college and settled on the opposite coast, I retired (young) and my husband and I split up. So, like you, a lot of $@#+€ going on.
Anyhow, IMHO the very first thing you need to do is have an appt with a psychiatrist who can come up with a medication plan for you. Then your PCP can manage that plan. Then you need to get your butt into therapy STAT.
Unfortunately I have zero experience with HRT as I decided to just muscle through peri and menopausal symptoms without meds.
Best of luck.
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Post by jill8909 on Jun 5, 2025 19:03:27 GMT
First, please don't accept at face value the advice linking HRT and breast cancer as it is possible it is not accurate. Please get advice from a doctor.
Good luck. you have a lot on your plate and I wish you well!!!
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Post by mollycoddle on Jun 5, 2025 19:30:30 GMT
You’ve been through a lot. I really think that therapy would be a good idea. It can really help. And I would ask the doctor about medication; he or she would know if you need a referral to a different doctor.
Menopause can really throw you for a loop. You’re hot, you’re tired because you don’t sleep well. Be kind to yourself. Help is out there; reach for it.
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Post by wordsmith on Jun 5, 2025 19:34:34 GMT
… the very first thing you need to do is have an appt with a psychiatrist who can come up with a medication plan for you. Then your PCP can manage that plan. Then you need to get your butt into therapy STAT. MichyM is right. Psychiatrist, PCP, therapist…And my additional advice is that you find the right ones. If one seems like not a good fit, don’t hesitate to change. Just reiterating that a Psych will better understand your past meds and if you need a new one. You should be able to insist on options that are NOT SSRI. I have refused to take some meds….but it’s always negotiated with my psychiatrist at first. I worked with a psychiatrist for two years to get on the right combination for treatment resistant depression and anxiety. When I found the right combo, I switched to my pcp to manage it. And all of that was done with the baseline of weekly therapy with the right talk therapist and work outside of therapy to challenge some of my own assumptions. From my experience, I think that your PCP can order a hormone test to see what your levels are and if you’re in menopause or not. Someone with medical experience should confirm that though. FWIW, I am so sorry that you’re experiencing that.. I’m so glad that you reached out, and I’m sure you’ll get lots of reassuring replies here. |
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Post by Zee on Jun 5, 2025 19:38:14 GMT
I was in a very similar place a couple years ago. I was miserable and would have thought I was going crazy if I didn't know it was the hormonal upheaval my body was going through. I felt like I was losing my mind but at least I knew why, so that helped me keep it together.
I cannot take HRT due to h/o breast ca (ER+). I suffered and sweated through so many hot flashes, dozens per hour at some points.
My Dr increased my Lexapro and while it might have helped me a little with anxiety, it didn't change what was going on. Nothing helped until I decided to try compounded tirzepatide. I thought, I'll feel awful but at least maybe I can lose this weight (packed on 20+ lbs in a year after this all started).
I am not saying it will work for you but for me, it was like night and day. Weight loss and the hot flashes stopped and I regained my clarity. I have tried to see what happens when I take a break from the tirzepatide, since I no longer need it for weight loss, but the symptoms come creeping back so I'll just stay on it as long as I can afford it and as long as I feel it's helpful. I DO need it for weight maintenance.
Even if it only helps part of the puzzle (your weight gain), it still might be worth it for that alone. I started feeling better as soon as I felt in control of my hunger and food noise.
Hugs, no one prepared me for feeling like I was going to lose my mind. I thought it was just hot flashes. Fortunately I was able to tell my husband exactly what was going on and he was pretty supportive (though I didn't get to the point that it affected our relationship).
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jun 5, 2025 20:38:20 GMT
I have a family history of both breast and ovarian cancers and my GP had me start estrogen. You know what? It’s amazing. All the junk below the waist is living happily ever after because there are hormones again and things feel good. Pristiq is a newer antidepressant and it’s worth paying $1200 a year for it. It affects your hormones as well and it makes things so much better.
You need a therapist. I agree that you need to talk to someone. You need meds (whatever combination) and you need hope. Things do get better. The divorce is terrible at this stage in life but you will recover and will be a stronger, happier woman after it. There is an end insight and you will cross that bridge and live your best life when it’s over. There is new information about hormones and gynaecology related cancers and you need the best care you can get. I only see women practitioners and they get it. My psych is a man and he hooked me up with a therapist who is a woman and I talk to her. It’s magic. I don’t care how many women a man gyn has treated he will never get it like you get it. I am still straight as a board, am attracted to men and only trust women doctors.
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Post by bunnyhug on Jun 5, 2025 21:44:21 GMT
One of the best books I found on menopause was ‘Menopausing’ by Davina McCall. She’s a UK tv personality, but I’m in Canada and was able to order the book online when it came out with no problems. She’s does have a doctor do some of the chapters and give scientific information, but the best and most helpful aspect I found was the inclusion of lots of reader/viewer comments and lived experiences. So many “I thought I was going crazy, but …” stories!
HRT has been nothing but helpful for me. My doctor did bloodwork, and to start out, I took progesterone daily and used a testosterone cream every other day. That’s been adjusted to only twice a week now, and we’ve added an estrogen pill recently as well. I have a family habit of getting dementia as we age 😬, and there is some promising research about the benefits of estrogen HRT lowering that risk. I was also diagnosed with ADHD at 50 (4 years ago), so that has also impacted how menopause affected me—but the HRT has still worked and has made it easier to manage my ADHD brain!
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Post by FrozenPea on Jun 5, 2025 22:29:05 GMT
Not a doctor but I would rage, cry, forget words, absolutely no libido. Some was stress caused by chronic pain and moving but mostly menopause.
I found a great doctor after we moved who finally listened to me and heard me. We started me on estradiol, progesterone and testosterone. HALLELUJAH!! I am so much better. Life is so much better
And we are having sex like newlyweds. Seriously life changing for both of us.
I say talk to your doctor. Keep talking until you get help.
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snyder
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by snyder on Jun 5, 2025 22:35:12 GMT
Oh boy, you sure do have a heavy load to carry. {{{{Hugs}}}}
I haven't experienced your symptoms, but recently my niece did. She was advised to take B6. I don't know how much though, but you could probably google to find out how much.
It really helped her a lot. I would definitely keep you appointment with you doctor, as I'm sure they have many options to help you through this.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jun 5, 2025 22:42:06 GMT
Oh boy, you sure do have a heavy load to carry. {{{{Hugs}}}} I haven't experienced your symptoms, but recently my niece did. She was advised to take B6. I don't know how much though, but you could probably google to find out how much. It really helped her a lot. I would definitely keep you appointment with you doctor, as I'm sure they have many options to help you through this. Yes read this post again. There are plenty of options available. I swore I would never take hormones because Mum died from ovarian cancer. That data they used is BS now and women need to DEMAND better healthcare. We are just hysterical anymore. There is science behind these moods and itchy ears and heavy periods or no periods at all. |
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 5, 2025 23:48:28 GMT
Rage and massive anxiety drove me to seek a therapist after my DH passed following a 15 year battle with cancer. Everything felt like a crisis. Everything pissed me off. I am SO much better after 18 months of therapy. It sounds like you have been through a lot, crimsoncat05. I agree with the others - start with your PCP, but make a therapy appointment. |
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Post by rahnee on Jun 6, 2025 1:17:19 GMT
I'm also 56 and have been really struggling with menopause. Tried HRT and while it worked well, availability of medication was a real issue.
For the last three weeks I've been taking Magnesium Glycinate, L-Theanine & Ashwaghanda about 1/2 hour before going to bed. The difference it has made for me is absolutely astounding. Within 48 hours the hot flushes drastically reduced from like nearly every hour to maybe once or twice a day. Now they are completely gone. I was struggling with chronic pain in my shoulder and hip, & while it's still there, it has reduced to a much more tolerable level. Still working on the pain in my feet. If i remember to use a magnesium spray on them at night, it helps a little. I'm sleeping better, , my anxiety is definitely not as overwhelming, my focus & motivation & mood have definitely improved and I'm much happier in myself.
I tried this combination in desperation. I'm honestly very surprised in the improvement it has made.
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katybee
Drama Llama
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Post by katybee on Jun 6, 2025 1:49:54 GMT
Just my personal experience….but I have never really had “rage.” UNTIL I tried to go off Lexapro. It was awful, and I went back on. Now, I am afraid to ever go off it.  |
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 6, 2025 2:08:09 GMT
This is pretty rare, but my rage was a benign mass in my brain. My poor kids. DH was deployed at the time and they took the brunt of it. I was repeatedly misdiagnosed but kept fighting because of the kids.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jun 6, 2025 2:12:37 GMT
First, please don't accept at face value the advice linking HRT and breast cancer as it is possible it is not accurate. Please get advice from a doctor. Good luck. you have a lot on your plate and I wish you well!!! It is very accurate. One of the survivors sees a dr who has written books and was considered the nation's expert on breast cancer. This doctor is the go-to breast cancer surgeon for the A list crowd. Normally, I don't do things just because a movie star does them, but in this case she's a great doctor does all of the newest treatments and is indeed the best at her job. HRT is indeed a risk factor and very dangerous. I am not trying to be argumentative, but I know about it. Not everyone will develop cancer, but it raises your risk. |
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Post by voltagain on Jun 6, 2025 2:36:41 GMT
my Menopause related question: could a lot of these things be related to menopause / lack of estrogen? The rage, the anxiety, some of the other stuff?? Could the anti-depressants have been 'masking' menopause related concerns for all those years? I never had a doctor tell me what would happen once they removed my ovaries. I never had hot flashes, but some of this other stuff, it seemed to come from nowhere once the anti=depressants were out of my system. Anyone who has been there-- Does HRT help with this? Can it stop me from feeling like I'm going crazy? I made an appt with my primary care Dr for next week to ask her, but is she the right one? Should it be a gyno, instead? Any advice from people who have been there / done that (at least with the rage / anger, anxiety, etc.) is appreciated. Absolutely can be hormone related. If your pcp isn't willing/able to address it then do see a gyno. I chose to ride it out instead of going the HRT route for personal health considerations. But once my hormones settled out the rage went away.so I feel confident that is HRT is safe for you then it can be a life changer. |
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Post by Penellopy on Jun 6, 2025 10:59:56 GMT
I, like you, have been through the ringer with work stress, death of my husband and mother due to ovarian cancer, family drama, and overall life cycles during the last 10 years.
I just had all of my hormone levels checked when I went in for my 6 month checkup. I'm type 2 diabetic, had a total hysterectomy at 34, and have panic attacks which I take Zoloft for. Was on HRT since 34 until I was around 50. BioTe came out and my doctor recommended it. It worked wonders! I stayed on it for about 5 years and decided I could do without it. I knew something was going on hormone wise due to my inability to sleep consistently for more than 2 hours at a time, was tired all the time, and even though I retired early, I didn't have the desire to move very much.
Guess what? My hormone levels were way out of whack! My doctor recommended progesterone pills. But my body did not tolerate them and I had one of those side effects of itching and hives. But the sleep was restored! I called the doctor who told me stop immediately and she recommended the BioTe again. Yes, it seems to be a little pricey, (here it is $350 and last about 4 to 5 months), but the piece of mind and the other things that lack of hormones cause is worth it to me. In the meantime, my doctor also suggested THC gummies before bed for the sleep issues.
If your PCP is not willing to discuss these issues, then I would suggest a gyno instead. I am lucky in I found a great PCP who was willing to listen to me and take my issues seriously. Since she does not do the BioTe, she is willing to recommend a doctor who would and could go further into this with me. I am confident that HRT is a good choice and it is safe.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 6, 2025 11:18:26 GMT
Or maybe I AM just turning into a mean / selfish / rage-filled person-- who knows. His response was 'I really don't think people quit their marriages over menopause / symptoms' and my answer was CHECK THE INTERNET- because that's the place I've finally found some of this stuff out. From what I have read most marriages end somewhere around 7 years in *and* during menopause. So I get that it can be a very volatile time. I just want to address the rage comment. I don't believe that you are just turning into a mean person. However, I am wondering if you may either have a misdiagnosis of depression/anxiety when it is really bipolar disorder. And even if not, if a mood stabilizer *might* help you anyway. And I'm not thinking of an antipsychotic because you aren't really there but something like Lamictal. Anyhow, IMHO the very first thing you need to do is have an appt with a psychiatrist who can come up with a medication plan for you. Then your PCP can manage that plan. Then you need to get your butt into therapy STAT. This leads me to my next comment and that is that I think Michy is right. I would get an appointment with a psychiatrist and first try for a more accurate diagnosis or an exploration of how going off the antidepressant may have triggered this. I don't recall if you said how long ago you went off of it. But this could account for the behavior changes. Then I think I would follow up with the primary care doctor. How long ago was the ovary removal surgery? Because the two things may be working in tandem to create this tornado for you. I will say that I have had to have my bipolar meds tweaked 4 times in the past 5 years that I believe I have been in perimenopause. I don't know if this is a result of perimenopause or if this is a result of my bipolar worsening which is what was happening before perimenopause. My psychiatrist is unclear on it too. She just keeps saying we'll have to wait and see once I'm finally in menopause what happens with my illness. I am hoping it is perimenopause because I'm almost in disbelief at the amount of medication I have to take to maintain my mental health. But both of my doctors, my PC and my psych are opposed to me trying HRT for a variety of reasons. So that is not an option for me. |
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Ryann
Pearl Clutcher
Love is Inclusive
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Post by Ryann on Jun 6, 2025 21:24:30 GMT
Not a doctor but I would rage, cry, forget words, absolutely no libido. Some was stress caused by chronic pain and moving but mostly menopause. I found a great doctor after we moved who finally listened to me and heard me. We started me on estradiol, progesterone and testosterone. HALLELUJAH!! I am so much better. Life is so much better And we are having sex like newlyweds. Seriously life changing for both of us. I say talk to your doctor. Keep talking until you get help. I remember you being in Grays Harbor. Can you please share the name of your awesome doctor? I need one, and am in GH county, too. Feel free to PM if you prefer. Thank you!  |
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Post by FrozenPea on Jun 6, 2025 21:32:09 GMT
Not a doctor but I would rage, cry, forget words, absolutely no libido. Some was stress caused by chronic pain and moving but mostly menopause. I found a great doctor after we moved who finally listened to me and heard me. We started me on estradiol, progesterone and testosterone. HALLELUJAH!! I am so much better. Life is so much better And we are having sex like newlyweds. Seriously life changing for both of us. I say talk to your doctor. Keep talking until you get help. I remember you being in Grays Harbor. Can you please share the name of your awesome doctor? I need one, and am in GH county, too. Feel free to PM if you prefer. Thank you! I will message you. |
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