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Post by candleangie on Jul 6, 2014 23:15:24 GMT
I freaking love this place. lol
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,206
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Jul 6, 2014 23:18:52 GMT
I'm so glad I finally found my way over here- there's not a single other forum I frequent that will happily discuss love totems!
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Post by Bridget in MD on Jul 6, 2014 23:22:13 GMT
I can't stand reading it, but it cracks me up when I read lines like "he plunges his manroot into her fertile crescent." LOL!
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,445
Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
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Post by RosieKat on Jul 6, 2014 23:26:11 GMT
I read some book sometime (you can see how well it stuck in my head) that wasn't a romance per se, but had a lot of brief sex scenes in it. Every single time...it talked about her Love Button. I made the mistake of mentioning it to DH, who now will refer to that phrase when he just wants to crack me up. Men!
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swanie78
Junior Member
Posts: 79
Jun 27, 2014 4:11:24 GMT
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Post by swanie78 on Jul 6, 2014 23:31:53 GMT
No male characters ever finish before the female has her bra unhooked, leaving her wondering why she missed the first three minutes of her favorite show for that.LOVE IT!
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,445
Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
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Post by RosieKat on Jul 6, 2014 23:43:17 GMT
GAH! I just had a horrifying thought! What if Podmother decided to play an evil trick on us, and changed our statuses from "New Member," "Full Member," etc. to things like "Throbbing Member" or "Pulsating Member"? I told you it was a horrifying thought. But once it crossed my mind, I had to share it with y'all. You're welcome.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 7, 2014 2:32:18 GMT
I read a couple of those types of romance books years ago-at the same time my mother read them as well. We have a running joke about "with violet eyes flashing, arms akimbo, she looked warily at his throbbing member." Anxiousmom, a throbbing member is no joke. It's serious stuff. OMG. Your mom must be awesome.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 7, 2014 2:36:42 GMT
My aunt is an avid romance novel reader, and decided to try writing a few. The first one was so poorly written that I offered to proofread the second one. I am not a fan of the genre, and besides being awkward, it was a painful process. Now she has sent me a third one, and I have been seriously procrastinating reading it. I love my aunt dearly, and just focus on the positive points. They are available on Amazon, Nook, etc. for about $1. Bless her heart. If you tell us who she is, we peas might be able to turn her into a best selling author $1 at a time. Seriously, I would buy her book because I applaud her for trying.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 7, 2014 2:38:38 GMT
I can't stand reading it, but it cracks me up when I read lines like "he plunges his manroot into her fertile crescent." LOL! I am an avid reader of all genre; but, I have never heard manroot and her fertile crescent before.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 7, 2014 2:41:37 GMT
GAH! I just had a horrifying thought! What if Podmother decided to play an evil trick on us, and changed our statuses from "New Member," "Full Member," etc. to things like "Throbbing Member" or "Pulsating Member"? I told you it was a horrifying thought. But once it crossed my mind, I had to share it with y'all. You're welcome. You made me laugh out loud.
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Post by anxiousmom on Jul 7, 2014 2:43:30 GMT
I read a couple of those types of romance books years ago-at the same time my mother read them as well. We have a running joke about "with violet eyes flashing, arms akimbo, she looked warily at his throbbing member." Anxiousmom, a throbbing member is no joke. It's serious stuff. OMG. Your mom must be awesome. My mom *is* very awesome...probably my very best best friend.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 7, 2014 2:56:48 GMT
Anxiousmom, a throbbing member is no joke. It's serious stuff. OMG. Your mom must be awesome. My mom *is* very awesome...probably my very best best friend. I hope you'll be sharing lots more inside jokes for many more years to come.
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Post by scrapmomof2 on Jul 7, 2014 3:06:38 GMT
Thank you God for a "true" pea thread!!!!!
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oaksong
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,164
Location: LA Suburbia
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on Jul 7, 2014 6:31:49 GMT
GAH! I just had a horrifying thought! What if Podmother decided to play an evil trick on us, and changed our statuses from "New Member," "Full Member," etc. to things like "Throbbing Member" or "Pulsating Member"? I told you it was a horrifying thought. But once it crossed my mind, I had to share it with y'all. You're welcome. Now guess where my mind goes when I see someone's status says Full Member?
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Post by gar on Jul 7, 2014 6:38:21 GMT
GAH! I just had a horrifying thought! What if Podmother decided to play an evil trick on us, and changed our statuses from "New Member," "Full Member," etc. to things like "Throbbing Member" or "Pulsating Member"? I told you it was a horrifying thought. But once it crossed my mind, I had to share it with y'all. You're welcome. Now guess where my mind goes when I see someone's status says Full Member? Yeah, thanks for that!
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Post by magentapea on Jul 7, 2014 12:09:00 GMT
There's a book on Amazon right now, free on Kindle, that is about unrealistic expectations that women have because of Nora Roberts. It has pretty good reviews and the idea is pretty smart. Nora Roberts gave her permission for the title of the first book: Nora Roberts
Thanks for sharing. I just downloaded it and can't wait to read it.
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Post by magentapea on Jul 7, 2014 12:12:11 GMT
I have a good friend that is a romance writer (she has sold over 5 million books). You should hear her talk about her writing. For her it is all very perfunctory. She basically knows what her readers want and she writes it. She is also very defensive about her writing (and I guess I would be too if I had made as much money as she has). She will tell you her characters are deep and her plots are well-thought out. As for me, I think her writing is junk, her characters shallow and her stories have no plots. Now obviously I don't tell her this, I keep my opinions to myself but it is fascinating to watch her talk about her writing. Another thing that I think is so interesting is that you give her a newspaper article to write or a blog post and her writing is barely average.........................amazing.................I also have another friend that has written a book that is climbing up the Amazon charts, she already has an agent and there is talk of a movie..........her books is literary fiction and has some "meat" to it. Anytime she writes anything whether it be on Facebook, a blog post, or a newspaper article, you can see her excellent writing skills in everything she does...............fascinating to watch.................I enjoy this kind of stuff. Am I the only one who wants to know who the authors are? I'm wondering if I read anything by the first, and want to read the book written by the second.
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Post by peasapie on Jul 7, 2014 12:14:23 GMT
We should rewrite them, with the reality that arrives after the breathless first days. You know, stuff like burps and farts.
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Post by 1lear on Jul 7, 2014 12:17:23 GMT
I have a good friend that is a romance writer (she has sold over 5 million books). You should hear her talk about her writing. For her it is all very perfunctory. She basically knows what her readers want and she writes it. She is also very defensive about her writing (and I guess I would be too if I had made as much money as she has). She will tell you her characters are deep and her plots are well-thought out. As for me, I think her writing is junk, her characters shallow and her stories have no plots. Now obviously I don't tell her this, I keep my opinions to myself but it is fascinating to watch her talk about her writing. Another thing that I think is so interesting is that you give her a newspaper article to write or a blog post and her writing is barely average.........................amazing.................I also have another friend that has written a book that is climbing up the Amazon charts, she already has an agent and there is talk of a movie..........her books is literary fiction and has some "meat" to it. Anytime she writes anything whether it be on Facebook, a blog post, or a newspaper article, you can see her excellent writing skills in everything she does...............fascinating to watch.................I enjoy this kind of stuff. Am I the only one who wants to know who the authors are? I'm wondering if I read anything by the first, and want to read the book written by the second. I'm curious, too, but thinking it's probably best if she doesn't tell us-don't want her friend to find out about this thread. I go through phases where I'll read romance-historical bodice rippers by Joanna Lindsay, anyone?
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Post by anxiousmom on Jul 7, 2014 12:46:17 GMT
We should rewrite them, with the reality that arrives after the breathless first days. You know, stuff like burps and farts. There is never the reality of having to do wash their dirty undies and sharing a bathroom. Some mysteries should remain forever. And don't forget morning breath, projects started and abandoned, and snoring.
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Post by deshacrafts on Jul 7, 2014 12:55:15 GMT
I read a lot of "romance" novels, but mostly they are series books, Robyn Carr, Sherryl Wood, Debbie Macomber, etc. They don't have a ton of sex, and they usually have a predictable story line, but I like them. If I do read a book with "graphic" sex scenes (like pages of it) I just skip it till I get back to the actual story.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 25, 2024 5:21:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2014 12:59:44 GMT
Does vampire smut count? "Mine"
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Post by SockMonkey on Jul 7, 2014 14:09:24 GMT
You know, I just realized my mother-in-law reads a lot of Nora Roberts and JD Robb. *titter*
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oaksong
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,164
Location: LA Suburbia
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 6:24:29 GMT
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Post by oaksong on Jul 7, 2014 16:05:25 GMT
My aunt is an avid romance novel reader, and decided to try writing a few. The first one was so poorly written that I offered to proofread the second one. I am not a fan of the genre, and besides being awkward, it was a painful process. Now she has sent me a third one, and I have been seriously procrastinating reading it. I love my aunt dearly, and just focus on the positive points. They are available on Amazon, Nook, etc. for about $1. Bless her heart. If you tell us who she is, we peas might be able to turn her into a best selling author $1 at a time. Seriously, I would buy her book because I applaud her for trying. That is very sweet of you to offer. I wish I had thought about the power of the peas before I wrote what I did! I would possibly lose my anonymity, and she might see my comments here. Some parts of her stories are very moving. So far the plot lines are the same: a plane crash (or car accident) hunky romeo meets innocent but beautiful virgin with amnesia, they have a fling, pregnancy ensues, they have a misunderstanding and go their separate ways, he once again rescues her from danger and they live happily ever after. She toned down the graphic anatomical descriptions on the last one, and I think it made it better.
Maybe with a few more under her belt I will give a recommendation. I am so proud of her efforts to fulfill her dream. She would be thrilled to have a readership like the Peas.
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Post by sweetshabbyroses on Jul 7, 2014 17:56:14 GMT
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Post by 1lear on Jul 7, 2014 18:08:11 GMT
Thank you for the link-I added it to my wish list. I used to love Harlequin Romances, when I was around 13-15. My favorite were the tall, dark men and I always thought I'd marry one just like that. I ended up with a blue-eyed blonde.
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Post by Ellie on Jul 7, 2014 18:20:00 GMT
I want shimmering diamond sex! This discussion reminds me of my first "romance" novel experience--with the Clan of the Cave Bear series! I was reading Valley of the Horses in 6th-7th grade--way too young for such prehistoric smut! Oh, and Full Member will always make me giggle now.
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,947
Location: North Idaho
Jul 1, 2014 23:30:44 GMT
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Post by Nink on Jul 7, 2014 18:25:06 GMT
I admit to loving a good bodice ripper every now and again. But yes, when the women involved are having these fantastical experiences on their FIRST go 'round no matter how fictional it may be, it does make me wanna slap my husband of 20 yrs.
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Post by hennybutton on Jul 16, 2014 3:43:09 GMT
I admit to loving a good bodice ripper every now and again. But yes, when the women involved are having these fantastical experiences on their FIRST go 'round no matter how fictional it may be, it does make me wanna slap my husband of 20 yrs. I can't believe I missed this thread. I'm not a big romance reader. I prefer science fiction and fantasy. I remember a time when romance novels didn't have sex in them, especially explicit sex. Couple took longer to get to the bedroom in romances than they do now. Frankly, I think very few writers are capable of pulling off a well-written sex scene. It really ticks me off when a sex scene is thrown into a non-romance book where it doesn't belong and it's poorly written. Just leave it out, please. I have an imagination, I can figure it out without cliches or cutesy names for body parts. There are only so many ways two bodies come together, so we're not missing anything by not having it described.
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Post by *KatyCupcake* on Jul 16, 2014 4:03:24 GMT
I did read the 50 Shades books because all the ladies in the neighborhood made a pact to read them for fun. We had a blast making fun of them and have a few "inside" jokes we share from that experience. Otherwise I have never read any romance novels that have been as cheesy as many that have been mentioned here. But I'm enjoying this thread!
I read a lot of books but I don't gravitate towards the harlequin style so that might be why I'm missing out.
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