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Post by epeanymous on Jan 8, 2015 16:21:29 GMT
Curious what you would do in my situation.
I have a twelve-year-old (12.5 if it matters). She has four younger siblings -- one who will be nine in March, two who will be five in February, and one who will be three in June. I've been occasionally leaving her with the eight-year-old since she turned twelve, and they both have been fine. I occasionally leave her with the youngest three to walk across the street to get the eight-year-old from his bus stop (we live on a busy street and the bus driver gets annoyed if we let the kids cross on their own).
She is asking to babysit. My inclination is that she is not too young to babysit, but she is too young to babysit that many kids at once. So, two questions -- one, am I being unreasonable about that? And two, at what age do you think you would let her watch everyone else? (She is a pretty standard-issue twelve-year-old, albeit not yet interested in romance).
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Post by Anne-Marie on Jan 8, 2015 16:26:04 GMT
I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I think I would feel the same hesitation about leaving her with all three younger ones at 12, especially given the age of the youngest. I'm interested to see what others think since clearly I don't have the answers (as the OP of the other thread).  |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2015 16:26:39 GMT
My threshold for leaving kids alone at home is if I'm 100% confident the child would act responsibly and quickly (like an adult) in an emergency. Because no one expects them to happen but they do. I have one child who I've seen doesn't react well to emergencies so they'll be older before they're left alone and certainly in charge of younger children.
Personally, I'm not crazy about the idea of my kids babysitting kids other than my own. If they did react badly in an emergency or didn't handle the children well in general, I would feel too responsible. Every parent's comfort level is different though - what matters is how you feel about it. Only you know your child; I don't think "age" is important.
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Post by anonrefugee on Jan 8, 2015 16:31:47 GMT
Is there a Y or Red Cross baby sitting class in your area?
My boys weren't interested in babysitting anyone but each other, but the courses have been popular for those going outside of family
Can the two oldest stay together for 45-60 minutes trial runs?
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2015 16:37:03 GMT
That's a lot of kids for her to watch with no adult supervision. Are we talking just an hour or 2 here and there or longer periods of time?
Ask her a series of possible scenerios that might occur. Doesn't have to be serious things, but like what would you do if the 3 year old fell down and was crying and then the twins started fighting and screaming upstairs? Or someone knocks or rings the doorbell. How would you answer the phone if it rings? Things like that.
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Post by epeanymous on Jan 8, 2015 16:38:26 GMT
Is there a Y or Red Cross baby sitting class in your area? My boys weren't interested in babysitting anyone but each other, but the courses have been popular for those going outside of family Can the two oldest stay together for 45-60 minutes trial runs? The two oldest stay together already. Both are fine and I am not worried. Dd has a cell phone and has both the list of semi-emergency contacts and actual-emergency contacts. It is leaving her with the younger three for any actual length of time that I have not permitted, yet. |
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jan 8, 2015 16:43:06 GMT
My kids are almost 12, 9, 6 and 3. I have started leaving them home for up to a few hours. My oldest is mature for his age. The biggest concern I have is with the 6 year old. He is an instigator and there is more fighting/arguing between him and the others than all of the others combined. I am more inclined to leave the older two with the youngest and take the 6 year old with me, if I am going to the store, etc.
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Post by anonrefugee on Jan 8, 2015 16:48:03 GMT
Sorry for poor reading comprehension!
When I was 13 I babysat 3 kids in a very rural area, isolated house, almost a mile from my home. No cells back in the day. It's funny how times have changed, I can be free range parent, I'm not sure I'd allow that now, as parent of sitter or sittee.
But in a "normal" neighborhood with responsible kid for 1-2 hours I'd try it. Especially if they'd had first aid, and baby sitting courses.
ETA you know your kids best and have good judgement. I'm in my 50s and I'm not sure I could babysit that many right now. You might be my new Mom Hero for doing it everyday.
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Jan 8, 2015 16:51:04 GMT
I'm thinking that's a lot of kids for someone that age, especially when 3 of them will actually need watching - the nine year old can probably handle him/herself for the most part. FTR, I did say on Anne-Marie's thread that I would leave my 13 & 10 yr. olds home alone, so I'm not overly worried about this usually. In your case OP, I would wait a while before giving her the responsibility of the 3 little ones. |
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 8, 2015 16:58:49 GMT
When I used a babysitter for kids that age I expected them to actively do something with my kids (read, crafts, board games, play in the yard, supervise a snack, etc.), so I would expect your DD to do the same with the younger siblings.
With the 8 year old, they can do their own thing but with the younger kids she can't go off and read/watch tv/be in another room, etc. As long as you think she can handle the hands on roll of babysitting and you think the younger siblings are going to respond to her being in charge, I would allow it for short stints. Definitely to do a bus pick up and probably to run a few other errands. Build up to a couple of hours and you & DH get a date night.
Time of day makes a difference too - younger kids might be tired/cranky around dinner time, but leaving them mid-morning so you & DH can run errands or go for a nice brunch is another way to work into having DD in charge.
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Jan 8, 2015 17:23:12 GMT
My DD is about the same age. They are getting close to the age when they'll be ready to babysit for other people, so I think this would be a good time to start breaking her in slowly. You have started with 1 sibling (and a little with the others), so go up to 2 for a longer period of time - maybe while you go grocery shopping. By the time she is ready to earn some spending money, she'll have a great sibling-sitting resume.
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Post by shannoots on Jan 8, 2015 17:29:25 GMT
I did my student teaching last semester in FACS and we taught babysitting in 7th grade so many of the students were 12. I would sign her up for a babysitting class. There are many places that offer them-check with the local library, Red Cross, community colleges, etc....There may even be an online class.
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Post by alittleintrepid on Jan 8, 2015 17:45:26 GMT
Do you ever have opportunity to leave her with some of the younger ones separately (aside from the bus stops runs?). I'd see if there were opportunities for her to help out without leaving them all with her. Maybe take the 5year olds to help you grocery shop, for example, and leave her with the three year old?
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2015 17:54:27 GMT
I would consider the 9 year old be old enough to "self sit" in that she/he doesn't need an actively attentive sitter. So the oldest would only be responsible for the youngest three. At 12, if she is going to babysit outside of the house see needs to be capable of taking on a family of 2-3 kids.
Or you could consider the 9 year old to be an assistant sitter and give responsibilities to that child to care for one of the younger ones and the 12 year old be the lead sitter who oversees everyone.
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Post by threegirls on Jan 8, 2015 19:21:17 GMT
As others have said, I would sign her up for a babysitting class. My daughter took one at our Children's Hospital and the course was taught by nurses.
I think you would be ok leaving them for an hour or so and see how she does. Maybe ease her (and the other kids) into longer periods of time as she matures.
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Post by littlemama on Jan 8, 2015 19:32:16 GMT
That's too many kids, especially given the ages, in my opinion
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Post by melanell on Jan 8, 2015 19:47:34 GMT
My thoughts are that I wouldn't be comfortable with a 12.5 year old watching that many children, particularly given the ages of the younger ones.
At that age, I was watching 4 children on my own, and the youngest was 3 1/2. It was for about 2 hours 3 times a week. And what I often found was that there were afternoons in which I had absolutely amazing cooperation and all went beautifully; but there were also afternoons when it was chaos. All it took was for one of the older ones to decide that they weren't going to listen for it to all fall apart. Because typically if the others saw one getting away with something, or even just distracting me, they were more likely to act up as well.
It was my first sitting job, and honestly, as an adult looking back on it, it was really too much for me sometimes. It's scary to recall how many times I left one or two younger kids unattended while trying my best to deal with the older ones.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 9, 2015 2:18:46 GMT
12 might be a little young, especially considering the youngest is only three. I babysat three neighborhood kids all day, four days a week, the summer I was 14. IIRC, the ages were about 8, 5 and 3 and the three year old was potty trained. They were good kids and I was mature for my age so there were no issues, but I'd been babysitting my nieces and nephews since I was 10 and they were little babies so it wasn't my first rodeo.
I also would recommend any kid who wants to babysit these days to do the Red Cross babysitting class. They cover a lot of emergency scenarios that could potentially come up.
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Post by hop2 on Jan 9, 2015 2:28:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2015 2:56:33 GMT
Classmate of mine started babysitting at age 12? I think she babysat a bazillion hours. She loved kids a lot and was really good with them.
Another classmate babysat somewhat less than the previous poster by about 1 hour and she used to look after some kids after school (she was grade 7) and they were younger say grade 2 or 3. This was every single day from 3 pm to 5:30. (She is my BFF so I remember this).
I could go on and on but you get the idea. All started in grade 6 or 7 and stopped when they were in university. Some never stopped and opened family daycares.
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Nanner
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Post by Nanner on Jan 9, 2015 3:04:01 GMT
DD took the babysitting course at age 12 and began babysitting right away. She was fine looking after 4 kids.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2015 4:16:43 GMT
I think its awesome your 12 year is taking responsibility at her age. Kudos to her!
It really depends on the kids, if they are well behaved and if an adult will be close by in case of an emergency. She should be fine babysitting her siblings. For outsiders, more than two (2) may be a bit much.
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