Another teenager question.

See, I didn't take it to be them learning it to impress men but so that they don't have male and female chores when they are married.  But that may be because my MIL had all boys and she taught them how to do all of the traditional "wife" jobs so they would never be able to expect their wife to do them all.  

That's exactly what I meant. I seems that it's okay to complain about boys and to make them learn to do things so it will help women out. But it's not ok to teach girls to do things to help men out.  Thanks for helping me out! I do think I need to take a break from these boards because people get mad when I say anything in favor of a male.

You have to chose your battles with teens. My boys were slobs as teens. I was way more focused on their schoolwork, sports and scout activities to care too much about the condition of their rooms. I'd go ballistic monthly, and the clean would last about 24 hours. They all knew how to make a bed, do the laundry, vacuum, etc - and that was specifically for my future DILs. The "dumb" factor is strong in their gene pool from their dad, so I made sure my DIL wouldn't think of me what I thought of my MIL. As men in their 20s, their homes/rooms aren't what I would like, but certainly an improvement over the cleanliness of their rooms at 14.

Maryland, don't get your feelings hurt...sometimes things on this board seem so harsh.

At our house, we don't "regularly" make the beds...I do, in mine and my hubby's room, but the kids?...nahhhh.

However, on Saturday, they have to clean their rooms and sweep (we have dogs and there is dog-hair to deal with) and this includes, doing laundry, sheets, etc and making the bed. They do make their beds on Saturday.

I wouldn't care if he made his bed. Nor would I care if he slept under the sheets or on top of them.

There are probably a couple dozen other things that DS does that I would put ahead of bed-making on the problem/issues/annoyances list.

To me this is a set an example issue.   We taught him how to make his bed and I'm sure you taught Nick.   We make our beds, and you state that you make yours.    So, the example has been set.


Now, I also see it as "natural consequence" situation.     If someone visits your/our home, and sees your/our room, they see a neatly made bed.

If Nick's/DS's friends see his room, and someone comments on the bed in a negative way, then that is the natural consequence.    If friends don't go into bedrooms in your home, then someday, in the future, if he is on his own, and he brings someone back to his place, they may have a negative reaction to the bed, and that may be all it takes to convert him back to being a bed maker.  

This. No one in my house makes their bed.

Mine aren't teens yet (9 and 7) but we recently instituted a twice-weekly room inspection. On Wednesday and Saturday mornings, their rooms must be perfectly clean and beds made. The rest of the week, they can be as sloppy as they want. Seems to be working so far!

Lana

maryland don't back away. But why make that the reason for doing anything? Wouldn't it be nice if they learned to take care of themselves?

That's what we tell our sons about tasks.

Disclaimer: did not read replies.

I have two boys, 14 and almost 13. Neither one makes their bed. I don't make them. It's not a battle worth having, really. If they want to deal with untangling their blankets every night, then so be it. They are responsible for stripping the beds when I tell them to. I do expect them to be able to make their own beds up when they get the clean sheets back though.

I also do not make my bed every day. I will straighten the blankets as needed but unless we're selling the house and need to have presentable rooms at all times, I don't see the point of making the bed every day. Plus my dog has a tendency to move the blankets around until she has a nice little nest made for herself.

I was forced to make to bed very, very, very neatly while growing up Every day.

Now, I have my own house and I don't normally make the bed.

We have an electric blanket in the winter and I want to be able to turn it on to preheat the bed ... So, I pull all the covers up So it's ready at night. The bed looks made. If it wasn't for the heated blanket, I doubt it I would make it.

Not a battle I would choose.

Make sure he knows how to make the bed and changes out the sheets as often as needed. Other than that, I'd let it go.

The way I see it, if something makes someone else happy, then it isn't useless as all.        I like making people happy, and if something that takes me just a moment or two and is of no hardship to me, would make someone happy each day, I'd consider those few moments very well spent.  

You could swap the words 'make your bed' with brush your teeth/shine your sink/get dressed/phone your mother/eat your breakfast and make the same point. 

My almost 13 year old dd goes through phases about bed making. Sometimes she will make her bed everyday. Then she will sometimes go for weeks without making it. Her room is super neat except for her bed. She will definitely make it if she has a friend over. Sometimes, I will make it for her. When I was her age my mom made it for me. I didn't start making a bed until I went to college! I make our bed everyday. I hate getting into an unmade bed.