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Post by manda on Jul 8, 2014 7:04:22 GMT
So I'm the world's biggest cynic. Not gonna lie...
That said, how did you know you were in love or loved the person you're with?
Just curious....
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smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
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Post by smginaz Suzy on Jul 8, 2014 7:28:00 GMT
Well, I just knew. It was not love at first sight but when it happened, it was clear.
Oh, until about 15 years later. Then, whoops, not so much.
But no regrets.
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Post by gar on Jul 8, 2014 7:46:20 GMT
The saying "You just know" is true, in the way that you could ask "How do you know you've orgasmed?" You just know, right?  |
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 8, 2014 17:57:16 GMT
When you are getting anxious for them to show up. Not, because they are running late or you have somewhere to go. But, because you are excited just to be with them.
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Post by slkone on Jul 8, 2014 18:00:27 GMT
For me, it was the sudden realization that I would be lost without my husband (of course he was my boyfriend at the time) and also felt unbelievable happiness when I thought about him. It wasn't until I felt that fear that I realized all of my other relationships had just been infatuations.
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Jul 8, 2014 18:10:28 GMT
When you are getting anxious for them to show up. Not, because they are running late or you have somewhere to go. But, because you are excited just to be with them. Well, I guess I'm in love on the second date! |
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,091
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Jul 8, 2014 18:37:45 GMT
I just knew.
And i was only 18. I could not believe it. I spent a long time trying to convince myself otherwise, but it just felt like i had the perfect piece to part of my life puzzle.
I guess it is real. Almost thirty years later we cannot imagine life with another person. I think he is hot and sexy still. I am a very lucky woman.
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Post by Anne-Marie on Jul 8, 2014 18:46:53 GMT
I keep coming back to this thread wanting to answer but I cannot get to a place where I'm happy with my response. So I'm going to do my best and just be good with that.
A few things that told me that I was in love:
- Wanting my DD to meet him and feeling completely comfortable about it, no qualms whatsoever. In the six years I've been divorced he's the only man I've dated that has met her.
- Taking joy in doing things with him that otherwise might seem burdensome.
- Being content to sit on the couch talking and snuggling with him for hours after dinner and hating for him to leave at the end of the night.
- My desire to do what is best for us instead of just thinking of myself.
- Getting tears in my eyes at the thought of losing him.
- Feeling as if I would be the luckiest girl in the world to get to spend the rest of my life with him.
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Post by Merge on Jul 8, 2014 18:57:26 GMT
When you are getting anxious for them to show up. Not, because they are running late or you have somewhere to go. But, because you are excited just to be with them. Well, I guess I'm in love on the second date! I was. I knew after the first date and so did he. We've been married almost 18 years. I agree that you just know. If you don't know, it's not love. |
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Post by cynipidae17 on Jul 8, 2014 19:07:33 GMT
I think I knew when I realized how completely comfortable I was with him. I could tell him anything and not be embarrassed, it also helped that looking at him made my heart race  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 22:20:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 19:10:33 GMT
I keep coming back to this thread wanting to answer but I cannot get to a place where I'm happy with my response. So I'm going to do my best and just be good with that. A few things that told me that I was in love: - Wanting my DD to meet him and feeling completely comfortable about it, no qualms whatsoever. In the six years I've been divorced he's the only man I've dated that has met her. - Taking joy in doing things with him that otherwise might seem burdensome. - Being content to sit on the couch talking and snuggling with him for hours after dinner and hating for him to leave at the end of the night. - My desire to do what is best for us instead of just thinking of myself. - Getting tears in my eyes at the thought of losing him. - Feeling as if I would be the luckiest girl in the world to get to spend the rest of my life with him. Great answer. |
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Post by Anne-Marie on Jul 8, 2014 19:32:52 GMT
I keep coming back to this thread wanting to answer but I cannot get to a place where I'm happy with my response. So I'm going to do my best and just be good with that. A few things that told me that I was in love: - Wanting my DD to meet him and feeling completely comfortable about it, no qualms whatsoever. In the six years I've been divorced he's the only man I've dated that has met her. - Taking joy in doing things with him that otherwise might seem burdensome. - Being content to sit on the couch talking and snuggling with him for hours after dinner and hating for him to leave at the end of the night. - My desire to do what is best for us instead of just thinking of myself. - Getting tears in my eyes at the thought of losing him. - Feeling as if I would be the luckiest girl in the world to get to spend the rest of my life with him. Great answer. Awwww, thanks! Add to the list: unashamed mushy, gushiness from the one who used to roll her eyes at all the ridiculous love stuff. |
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~Susan~
Pearl Clutcher
You need to check your boobs, mine tried to kill me!!!
Posts: 3,259
Jul 6, 2014 17:25:32 GMT
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Post by ~Susan~ on Jul 8, 2014 19:39:13 GMT
For me, it was the sudden realization that I would be lost without my husband (of course he was my boyfriend at the time) and also felt unbelievable happiness when I thought about him. It wasn't until I felt that fear that I realized all of my other relationships had just been infatuations. Very well put. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 22:20:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 19:50:22 GMT
- Taking joy in doing things with him that otherwise might seem burdensome. - Being content to sit on the couch talking and snuggling with him for hours after dinner and hating for him to leave at the end of the night. - My desire to do what is best for us instead of just thinking of myself. - Getting tears in my eyes at the thought of losing him. - Feeling as if I would be the luckiest girl in the world to get to spend the rest of my life with him. All of the above points. Anne Marie summed it up beautifully for me. |
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Post by chlerbie on Jul 8, 2014 20:08:05 GMT
I think if you have to try and think about it and wonder if you are, then you aren't. For me, I just knew. He is just the person I want to share everything with first--the good and the bad, I missed him when we were apart and thought of him all of the time and couldn't wait to be with him again. I just felt like life was infinitely better with him in my life. I still feel that way 15 years later.
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Post by shevy on Jul 8, 2014 20:24:51 GMT
Honestly, I am one of those moive people. It was love at first sight. We met through online dating and agreed to meet for ince cream. And from the moment I saw him I kept saying "He's mine!" (in my head of course. Out loud would be just stalkerish...)  Now if you ask him, he says that there was instand attraction, but that it wasn't love at first sight. But love kept growing sronger until he couldn't deny it. |
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Post by 5peanutsnana on Jul 8, 2014 20:28:05 GMT
Yep. If you have to ask...you don't know. And I always think of the song "It's in His Kiss" that was popular when I was a teen. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 22:20:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 22:00:16 GMT
When I wanted his contentment as much as my own. Maybe more.
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Post by perfectcircles on Jul 9, 2014 3:06:57 GMT
Before I break into my long story below I'll just note up here that a friend once told me she knew she was with the right guy because all the idiosyncrasies that drove her crazy in the beginning of the relationship became endearing as she fell in love with him. I think that's a great gauge.
Regarding other responses:
I don't know if I agree with "if you have to ask then you're not in love."
I was crazy about DH for years. I didn't act on it because he didn't seem interested. We married other people. Even when I was happy in my first marriage I would wonder about him. Maybe I was in denial, but I guess I assumed it was an infatuation.
When I was divorcing my ex (13 years after dh and I first met) I got a random email from DH, who had no idea I'd been having problems in my marriage. That was the moment when I realized I'd been in love with him all along. I had actually been looking forward to single life, but wasn't willing to risk losing him again. We've now been together 8 years (we've been friends since 1992).
I'm sure my experience doesn't help your situation. And surely most people don't spend 13 years in denial. But I think sometimes being in love isn't so obvious when you have a lot to lose.
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