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Post by ferblover on Mar 4, 2015 14:35:00 GMT
Proud Tommie here!!! Second generation and the daughter of a Tommie and a Katie It is "so much" bigger than when I went there but I loved it. I am always impressed when we go back and there are these "huge" dorms and I get a little twinge of wishing I could go back. In fact now they have co-ed dorms, unheard of in my day!! I loved having the month of January off and that you could take J-term out of the country!! It was the best experience. I love the residential area feel of it. And yes, a few blocks up and you are in an area that at last look looks like it is getting better but not still ideal (University Ave). I can't remember off hand how many, but there are so many small colleges right in that area which makes it nice too.
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Post by MorellisCupcake on Mar 4, 2015 15:11:39 GMT
My girl is in college in South Carolina. We lived in NC at the time she started, so she was less than 2 hours from home. She flat out refused to go to college in the same city where we lived and loves USC. We moved to Missouri last summer and when I told her, she just shrugged and said it doesn't matter to her. And it hasn't. That kid has always been ridiculously responsible and organized and able to handle things. Child #2 has high functioning autism and he's definitely going to a college in the city where I live. He's good with that too. I'm more than happy for him to live in a dorm and do all the college stuff, but I want to be nearby..just in case. Child #3 plans to go to college in Florida or Hawaii or California. He hates being cold. I told him, fine, but you better get a scholarship because I'm not paying out of state tuition costs. (DD got one, phew!) No scholarship or tuition help, you're living with Mama until you're 22. He studies a lot now. That kid is very social (VERY social) so it will be interesting to see how he handles things.
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Post by maryland on Mar 4, 2015 16:23:24 GMT
I will also admit that my daughters have grooming issues as well. In fact it seems that many girls at their school do. I asked my 15 yr. old why she has not brought her gym clothes home to be washed in a month! She said that all the girls never bring their clothes home and just wear them every day all semester. Then the girls in my daughters competitive dance team (all high school girls) brag about how long it's been since they last showered/washed their hair/shaved. Really? Wow. I didn't see that with the football team. Yes, the pads and equipment smell, but those boys were into their grooming and would shower as soon as practice was over. I used to tease them and call them all pretty ponies. DS is good with showering, but hair cuts and shaving are a different thing. He finally saw the daylight about deodorant about a year ago. And there is a girl friend on the scene now, so I'm hoping she will make his toe the line. It took dating me for DH to start caring about what he looked like. Haha, guess it takes longer for some girls to figure it out! It really surprises me and my husband because we figure by high school kids were more self conscious. Someone recommended the Fresh Wave room deodorizer a couple months ago and it does wonders for their rooms! If they weren't so expensive, I would buy some for their dance bags. I teased my older daughter that even our dog, that loves all things disgusting, once stuck her head in the dance bag and had a look of disgust on her face as she quickly moved away. If that isn't a hint, I don't know what is! Yes, we keep thinking that when a boyfriend enters the picture, things will change, as you said above!
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Post by txdancermom on Mar 4, 2015 16:43:58 GMT
both of my kids went out of state to school. both went to private colleges, got great scholarships to go, which made the cost of the college, room and board, books, comparable to them staying in state at a state school. the additional cost came in travel- plane fare at holidays, or gas/hotel to drive home, etc. but that was manageable.
however, the BENEFITS they got by attending these schools far outweighed any additional travel costs. both the schools were small (under 1000 students) liberal arts colleges, that nurtured the young people that attend, and it was like becoming part of a family. the support after graduation was impressive too. our ds got a job in DC, and reached out to the alumni director at his school, had offers of 3 couches to live on, and a lead on an apartment within 24 hours of his request. he used one couch for a few days then moved in with the apartment offer when that became available.
Both of my kids when they visited the schools felt that they had found "home" and knew it was the right place for them when they found it. If that is what your son has found, then I hope you can find a way to make it happen for him. pat
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Post by Basket1lady on Mar 5, 2015 5:28:06 GMT
Thanks for all of your input. I've been thinking that it may be really hard, but that it would really help DS to become more independent. It's ffod that so many with neuro typical kids found that to be one of the biggest benefits. A year ago, I would have never thought it was possible for him to go more than an hour away. And look at him now!
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Post by Memo on Mar 5, 2015 7:13:31 GMT
Michelle - I just wanted to tell you our story. Our son has Asperger's and he is a freshman going to a university almost 4 hours away. It's not out of state, but far enough that he's pretty much on his own. He did well through high school; I gave him more and more responsibility with his school work in high school. He used Google calendar for all his assignments, which was linked to my calendar so I could see due dates too, but not necessarily hassle him about it. He graduated with an academic scholarship for the school he is attending, so we're "only" paying for room/board and books. He was also not very good about grooming habits!
Before he left for school, I totally researched his school, from housing to Disability Resources, meal plans, etc. I worried about privacy, because he really needed a place to decompress or do a quick clothing change without running to the communal bathroom, so we set his room up with a curtain. We worried about him rooming with someone (he has his own bedroom at home), communal bathing, getting around campus, but with our research and just talking through situations before he went to school, he was more at ease. We also signed him up with a program called Trio Student Support Services where they have a student mentor, as well as a staff mentor and he has one-on-one meetings and group meetings so his progress is monitored. This program provides a stipend based on their grades, going to meetings and going to cultural and social events, becoming part of the University community.
I will tell you that it was rough his first few weeks of the semester. It was a huge adjustment from high school, the classes were tougher, juggling all his meetings, etc. I actually went up to visit because I had to talk him off the proverbial "ledge", because he was talking about quitting school. Once he got his bearings, he did very well.
We keep in touch daily via texts, sometimes phone calls, Skype, etc. He's already met with his adviser for next year's classes, figured out which dorm he is going to move into next year. He will have completed 31 units by the end of this semester. There have been bumps in the road, but nothing that he hasn't been able to get through. Your son sounds very similar to ours. I know it is hard to let them go, but if you have all your ducks in a row, you'd be surprised at what your son can do on his own! I'm continually amazed at what our son has done this year!
Sorry so long! If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me.
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