Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 1:53:44 GMT
Hi everyone,
I am posting this for my BFF who has an adult son who is a violent when not medicated schizophrenic/autistic. He recently attacked her in a public place. He bit her, he scratched her drawing blood and he pulled out her hair in chunks. He was immediately taken into custody and put in a safe psych facility. He has been there ever since. He is medicated now but he is still not under control completely. The state they were living in has found a facility to take him in. The owner of the home has children. The place where the attack happened was caught on video and reviewed by hospital administrative staff. They agreed he is violent and needs special care.
The mother has asked me to ask the Peas what they think about the placement? Would you want your child who is violent going to a family who has children and your child has a history of violence? Thoughts?
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In my province this would be called a home share situation. (Essential a group home with a family aspect). A person with psychological or physical disabilities may reside with a family who is compensated by the province to provide love, understanding, monitoring of medication taking, 3 meals, etc.
I know of such a home not too far from my place of residence and the young man who lives there told me it was a nice place to live. He said he feels very safe there and the house mom is a very good cook.
The reason I said he is schizophrenic is because he has no clear diagnosis[/i]. I believe, in my armchair psychiatrist diagnosis, that this is part of the reason he is dangerous. His doctors and care workers don't know enough about him.
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luckyexwife
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Post by luckyexwife on Mar 10, 2015 1:55:47 GMT
Your op is confusing. ..is it a group home, or a private residence?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 1:58:23 GMT
The facility is a private residence that takes in people with developmental disabilities.
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gsquaredmom
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Post by gsquaredmom on Mar 10, 2015 1:59:20 GMT
I do not know if I really get it, but would I put a violent schizophrenic in a private home with children? No way.
Eta. It also puts those with developmental disabilites at risk. He is not developmentally disabled. Why would they place him there?
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Post by jmurray on Mar 10, 2015 2:01:27 GMT
Honestly? My initial thought is what kind of person reaches out to a faceless group of Internet women for help with such a crucial decision. This is beyond my comprehension so I have no input other than that, sorry.
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luckyexwife
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Post by luckyexwife on Mar 10, 2015 2:05:12 GMT
The facility is a private residence that takes in people with developmental disabilities. There must be missing information. What you have described is not a developmental disability. With the information presented here, the answer would be a very strong no. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 2:06:54 GMT
He has a severe mental illness and speaks at the level of about a 4 year old child. So he is a bit of both. I have met him on many occasions.
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Post by dulcemama on Mar 10, 2015 2:09:35 GMT
I work with adults with disabilities and have seen these types of placements work. But, every situation is different. How old are the children? Do the care givers have experience with this type of disability? Is this an adult foster care situation?
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luckyexwife
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Post by luckyexwife on Mar 10, 2015 2:09:56 GMT
He has a severe mental illness and speaks at the level of about a 4 year old child. So he is a bit of both. I have met him on many occasions. That would have been helpful to know in the op. I would still say no, but if it is being offered, the person running it must have specialized training to deal with the issues presented. Do you know how the facility is run? Are the children interacting with the clients? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 2:15:04 GMT
Without knowing how the residence is set up I can't say. Just because the facility owner has children does not mean the children are present in the facility.
A group home often has a rotation of caretakers who stay in the facility during their "shift" while their [caretakers] spouses and children live elsewhere.
I would place my son in the facility that best meets his needs and has an opening. It would be up the the care providers of that facility to determine if their children belong there or not. That is their problem, not mine.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 2:17:39 GMT
Honestly? My initial thought is what kind of person reaches out to a faceless group of Internet women for help with such a crucial decision. This is beyond my comprehension so I have no input other than that, sorry. she is beyond worried about this. That's the problem. That's why I am posting for her. If she says no he may go back into her custody and attack her again. If he goes into this family situation he may attack one of them and seriously hurt one of them. This is a no win situation. All responses have value to her decision. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 2:19:44 GMT
That is part of the problem. She does not know anything about how the facility is run. She is at the State's mercy. If she rejects she may not get another placement for him. Then what?
Again this is what she is faced with.
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Post by christine58 on Mar 10, 2015 2:22:40 GMT
That is part of the problem. She does not know anything about how the facility is run. She is at the State's mercy. If she rejects she may not get another placement for him. Then what? Again this is what she is faced with. Then she herself needs to go and spend some time at this facility. Is she in the US or Canada?? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 2:23:44 GMT
If she knows the facility owner has children she must know something about it. IMO, she is looking for a reason to not have him put in a home. But she wants to be able to blame someone else when he attacks her again.
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Post by peanutterbutter on Mar 10, 2015 2:33:08 GMT
Is she in the U.S? Here in PA, what you're describing would be a DOM care home - and no, there's really not a lot of specialized training (or oversight) that the owners get. If it is a DOM care or similar, it is a private family home, who is willing to provide a moderate level care for up to 3 people, in addition to their family living there.
There are group homes also that are more prepared to work with an individual with the challenges you are describing - the waiting lists are often long, but certain individuals may take priority if they are at risk for frequent hospitalization, long term hospitalization etc.
If your friend seriously considers this and has doubts, she needs to talk to the homeowner/caregiver and be sure that they are well aware of her son's history and prepared to meet his daily needs and challenges. She is within her rights to visit the home as well. Is she his legal guardian?
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Post by alittleintrepid on Mar 10, 2015 2:45:32 GMT
Your BFF needs to contact the case manager to find out if she can visit the facility and get her questions answered directly. She should also find out if/how they will restrain him if he does show signs of aggression I the future.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 2:49:09 GMT
That is part of the problem. She does not know anything about how the facility is run. She is at the State's mercy. If she rejects she may not get another placement for him. Then what? Again this is what she is faced with. Then she herself needs to go and spend some time at this facility. Is she in the US or Canada?? She is in the US. The facility is pretty far away from her and at least a $1000 plane ticket away. That is a hardship on her. The whole thing is just tragic. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 2:50:55 GMT
Your BFF needs to contact the case manager to find out if she can visit the facility and get her questions answered directly. She should also find out if/how they will restrain him if he does show signs of aggression I the future. I will have her read this. I think this is crucial. Thank you. He was in solitary this week as he was fighting or hitting people in the psych ward. (Yeah maybe the medication isn't the right one yet?) |
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Post by alittleintrepid on Mar 10, 2015 3:00:17 GMT
Your BFF needs to contact the case manager to find out if she can visit the facility and get her questions answered directly. She should also find out if/how they will restrain him if he does show signs of aggression I the future. I will have her read this. I think this is crucial. Thank you. He was in solitary this week as he was fighting or hitting people in the psych ward. (Yeah maybe the medication isn't the right one yet?) It may be that the medication is the right one but hasn't built up to the right therapeutic level if he has recently switched.....depends on what has been prescribed. Does his mom and team believe the violence is a result of not being medicated correctly for his diagnosis of schizophrenia? Just curious as life would be pretty confusing for an adult with a 4 year olds developmental level and I wonder if that plays a part? |
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georgiapea
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Post by georgiapea on Mar 10, 2015 3:01:16 GMT
I see it as the only available placement is the one that is private, with children. I don't feel it's appropriate to place the individual there. What are the options? Continuation in the psych facility or being returned to your friend's home? Is the private facility willing to take him? Maybe they feel they can keep their children safe but it doesn't sound like a good option to me.
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Post by amblet on Mar 10, 2015 3:02:02 GMT
I am the friend of Elannah's in question and this is a choice I was given today. She was doing me a favor by asking because I was not around a computer to ask myself. But I am home now and can give more background to the story. My adult son is 22 he has severe autism and mild developmental delays. He has also in the past 4 years had 3 "crisis" behavior incidences in which he has needed psychiatric hospitalization for, for longer and longer periods of time. We are currently in Alaska moved here from Utah 2 years ago and it was decided that he needed placement outside of the home because he has become increasingly move violent towards me over the years. I was contacted by the case manager at the psychiatric hospital today and told that they were discharging him tomorrow and that he was going to an assisted living in a town that is an hour flight from where I am at. I called the "assisted living" place this afternoon and found out that it is in this caretakers home and that she has one other client and two children ages 7 and 15. She acted like she was unaware that he had violent behavior at times and was worried that he might attack her children. I told her that I honestly could not say that it would never happen, but she still sounded interested in having him placed there. I know it is her choice but I would feel terrible if anything was to happen to them. I was just wondering what I should do as a mother and guardian. I tried calling the LSW but she was out for the evening. I do not have the option of checking this place out prior to his placement.
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Post by lindywholoveskids on Mar 10, 2015 3:12:27 GMT
I'm sorry for the situation. Im at a loss as to what to say. I hope everyone stays safe, and the son gets good care wherever he is going.
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gsquaredmom
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Post by gsquaredmom on Mar 10, 2015 3:28:35 GMT
The social worker should be able to assess and help you make a decision. I wish you the best.
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Post by CarolT on Mar 10, 2015 3:41:28 GMT
What an incredibly difficult situation. I would talk with the placement specialist/social worker, share all of my concerns, and see what they have to say before making a decision.
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Post by christine58 on Mar 10, 2015 9:36:48 GMT
I am the friend of Elannah's in question and this is a choice I was given today. She was doing me a favor by asking because I was not around a computer to ask myself. But I am home now and can give more background to the story. My adult son is 22 he has severe autism and mild developmental delays. He has also in the past 4 years had 3 "crisis" behavior incidences in which he has needed psychiatric hospitalization for, for longer and longer periods of time. We are currently in Alaska moved here from Utah 2 years ago and it was decided that he needed placement outside of the home because he has become increasingly move violent towards me over the years. I was contacted by the case manager at the psychiatric hospital today and told that they were discharging him tomorrow and that he was going to an assisted living in a town that is an hour flight from where I am at. I called the "assisted living" place this afternoon and found out that it is in this caretakers home and that she has one other client and two children ages 7 and 15. She acted like she was unaware that he had violent behavior at times and was worried that he might attack her children. I told her that I honestly could not say that it would never happen, but she still sounded interested in having him placed there. I know it is her choice but I would feel terrible if anything was to happen to them. I was just wondering what I should do as a mother and guardian. I tried calling the LSW but she was out for the evening. I do not have the option of checking this place out prior to his placement. You NEED to not let this young man leave where he is at right now. He sounds like he needs a long term hospitalization. Do everything in your power to make sure he does NOT go to this placement. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 11:07:26 GMT
Amblet didn't post the photos of her attack by her son. The location of the 3rd attack was in a public place and she was covered in scratches and bite marks (when I say covered I mean at least 10 or more). Her son is not evil. He is mentally ill and unstable. I do think his care team need to get more on the ball and medicate him until he is a non-violent, gentle human being. If that means heavily sedating him, then that's what it means. Amblet does not deserve to be afraid in her own home. She has support from me and her family, but that isn't enough. I am glad to know she is safe at home now, though. The reason I said initially schizophrenic was because he has no clear diagnosis.[/b] I think that is part of the problem. My heart goes out to her and what she has done for him. She has done the best she can as a single parent and given him an excellent upbringing. Now it is time for the state to take over. christine58 re: your above sentence, I just have to say, ITA totally with what you posted. That is what I would want for my child in the same circumstances. Easy for me to say as my son doesn't exhibit those traits. Given the same circumstances and experiences, I think that is the only safe route to go. Again, my opinion only.  |
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Post by shescrafty on Mar 10, 2015 11:55:04 GMT
Amblet-why didn't you just pose this question yourself? I am curious why Elannah posted it for you when you are already a member of the board and you were posting within an hour of the OP being made. Also as a nurse are you able to go to the hospital where this is happening and talk to the doctors yourself or do you know any physicians there who can intercede on your behalf?
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Country Ham
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Post by Country Ham on Mar 10, 2015 12:00:52 GMT
The state may not of been completely honest with the group home as well. My father in law owns one. It's for people stable on meds, non violent, non suicidal and people can care for themselves. It's basically a supervised living home with a live in care taker to ensure meds are taken, and does cooking and cleaning. Just in the last 2 years they called with someone who supposedly met those requirements and when he arrived he was wheelchair bound. He lasted 24 hours and we had to take him to the ER and basically "dump" him there. We don't bath and assist with toileting. He understood we couldn't meet his needs. We have somewhat similar stories but he was the only one that we couldn't find another place for on our own. Placements are hard to find in a group home setting. We now have a policy of meeting with and interviewing each person before we agree to accept them. No more "oh he/she is stable" and find out they really are not.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2015 12:15:20 GMT
As always Elannah left out a lot of important info.
If the home is not aware of his violent outbursts and agreed to take him that IS a problem. They need to know the true extent of his needs. If they know he is violent but agree to take him that is their decision to make.
But violent or not, I would not send a family member where I would essentially never again see them.. but especially one that functions mentally at the level of a very young child. I would make sure the home knows the level of violence so they can say "no, we don't have a place" and force the state to look closer to home.
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Post by elaine on Mar 10, 2015 12:42:01 GMT
amblet, does your family have to stay in Alaska? I think that in a state that physically large, but with such a tiny population (only 740,000 - 200,000 less than tiny Delaware, for example), the number of possible placements is going to be much more limited than living in a state with a larger and denser population. Social services depend, in part, on state and local taxes. It is frustrating, and not fair, but I think it will be much harder to find an ideal situation for your son in Alaska, than it would in almost any other state. We we have two special needs boys, and I know how depressing it is to have to choose where we live based, in a large part, on where we can get good services for our kids.
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