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Post by *christine* on Apr 14, 2015 0:08:48 GMT
My nephew is in first grade and was sent home with a note today that a classmate of his passed away over the weekend.
"XX was unexpectedly hospitalized more than a week ago with a non-communicable disease and although he fought bravely, his health declined and he passed away this weekend."
Now nephew is asking my sister tons of questions and she has no clue how to handle - any suggestions?? |
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,086
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Apr 14, 2015 0:13:21 GMT
The school should be providing counsellors for this.
Many funeral homes have leaflets for parents to use with their children.
I am sorry for the loss of this young child. |
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modiemay
Full Member
Posts: 134
Jun 30, 2014 4:24:15 GMT
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Post by modiemay on Apr 14, 2015 0:19:34 GMT
Be honest. But don't go into depth. answer as honestly as you can. Kids know when you are evading them and topics in situations like this. Tell them it's ok to feel whatever they are feeling.
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Post by littlefish on Apr 14, 2015 0:24:15 GMT
There's a beautiful picture book called The Next Place by Warren Hanson, that deals with death and the idea of heaven.
We had a teacher pass away over Spring Break, and in talking with my own DD (who is 7), as well as my students (who are 3rd graders), I was just straight to the point. Answered questions honestly, and if it got to the point of them asking me my opinion on something, I told them.
We're reading aloud this great book called Each Little Bird That Sings by Deborah Wiles. The main character's family runs a funeral home, so the idea of death is entwined throughout the whole book. One part gives the main character's (her name is Comfort) Top Ten Tips for First Rate Funeral Behavior. My kids told me the last one was their favorite, because it was the most true.
“Remember that death is a natural thing—it’s all around us, as Edisto Snowberger always said. Don’t try to hide death from kids. If Grandpa has died, don’t say, “We lost Grandpa,” because little kids will want to know why you don’t go look for him. Just say, “Grandpa died.” Don’t say, “Grandpa passed,” either; because we’ll wonder what grade he was in. Just say he died. We get it. Kids are better at death than grown-ups give them credit for, unless the kid is Peach Shuggars.”
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Post by hop2 on Apr 14, 2015 0:33:40 GMT
When my sons classmate died from a freak complication of juvenile diabetes we talked about it. He knew about death already due to deaths in my family. So we did not have to explain that part. So we talked about how it's not something he could catch from her. No one was in danger. We let him know that feeling he had were appropriate. That crying was a way to deal with overwhelming feelings. How nice of a person she was, what things we would miss. How awful it was for her parents and siblings. The children ( and teachers ) were given time from school to go to the funeral. The school had counselors available. At the end of the year we planted a tree and put in a memorial plaque. We talked often at first, then less often over time. We were open and honest with him, answered any questions he had over time. We encouraged him to speak about it.
Death is a part of life, and dealing with it is a life skill everyone should have.
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Post by Skellinton on Apr 14, 2015 1:32:47 GMT
She should answer honestly and try to avoid euphemisms (passed away, went to sleep, etc) as much as possible. She should try to ask him how he feels and if there is something he would like to do in memory of the little boy. Let him ask questions and let him know it is ok to be sad, scared, angry, etc.
I am sorry for the families loss.
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