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Post by scrappintoee on Apr 15, 2015 5:49:12 GMT
We were VERY close, and I absolutely ADORED him! I was also a Mommy-figure to him because of our Mom's extreme alcoholism. Do any of you look back at the time your loved one(s) died and still feel like it wasn't real ?!? I don't mean that literally....but when I think back to seeing my precious baby brother in the ICU, intubated on a ventilator, I occasionally think "WOW, did that REALLY happen!!  ?" Don't worry, I'm not crazy ---hee hee!--I know & accept that it DID happen, it's just still a bit surreal sometimes.... My brother and all my family & I are all organ donors....I am SO happy his donation helped MANY people!!! ((( hugs ))) to everyone who's missing someone!!! |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:00:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2015 6:05:43 GMT
I'm so sorry. I lost my brother when we were young so I understand what you're saying about it not seeming real. Sending hugs to you tonight.
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Post by Legacy Girl on Apr 15, 2015 6:07:26 GMT
My own brother has been very ill and close to death on several occasions. We just did what we had to do and put one foot in front of the other, taking life minute by minute every day while he was hospitalized. I do look back on those times and wonder how we existed. My sympathies to you in your loss, and my gratitude for your commitment as organ donors.
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Post by putabuttononit on Apr 15, 2015 6:34:34 GMT
I'm so sorry. Six years is still very fresh and painful. I'm sorry and I wish he was still here with you. Yes, some losses are hard to believe, even if we know it's true.
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Post by scrappintoee on Apr 15, 2015 7:01:33 GMT
Thank you, ladies!!!! GiaLuPea...(( hugs)) for your loss!! ! Legacy girl----sorry about your brother...is he okay now? Putabuttonit....I'm so glad YOU say that six years is still very fresh----sadly, I think somepeople don't agree with that....But we allll deal with it differently! I have a dear friend who also lost her brother, but NINE years ago---she says she still misses him EVERY day. As much as I truly ADORED my brother, I don't miss him EVERY day----wow, that would be TOO hard!!!!  ( I can see feeling that way about my hubby, though!!!) On a pet note, if I may----a dear friend of mine lost her sweet doxie after 16 years---she grieved longer than "SOME people" in her family thought she should. UGH----I wish people would just let others grieve on their OWN TIME and just offer SUPPORT and HUGS, and not feel they have to comment about why THEY think she's been "grieving too long"....Ugh, I just wish people would learn to LISTEN and give SUPPORT, and not always SAY everrrrrything that THEY think the grieving person SHOULD feel/ do, etc....can they not just be QUIET about what they think??? A lovely chaplain where I worked at the time gave me a lovely book called "Don't Take My Grief Away From Me".....it was VERY helpful !!! My older brother implied I was grieving too long, and I didn't say it to him, but I believe he is in MAJOR DENIAL, because he will NOT talk about our baby brother!!!! My Dad will talk about him sometimes, but I think sometimes denial is what works for him., too...!!! When it had been four years, I was saying the day he died was the WORST DAY OF MY LIFE---and that's still true!--- My older sister totally blew that off by saying " NO, it was BEST DAY, because he went to HEAVEN!" (I STILL cannot believe she totally diminished MY sadness by saying that!!!!) ...ugh....yes, I'm THRILLED that he's having a BLAST in Heaven with our other loved ones and having no pain, no sorrow, etc........but it doesn't mean it wasn't the worst day of MY life !!!! Holding his hand while seeing him take his last breaths in the operating room right before they harvested his organs.... I did NOT want to let go of his hand !!!! What makes that memory more painful is thinking of my sweet Dad, holding his other hand !!!!! |
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Post by polz on Apr 15, 2015 7:24:06 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. My brother died in a workplace accident in 2011. He was only 30. Sometimes, it just HURTS!
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Post by disneypal on Apr 15, 2015 10:00:42 GMT
I am sorry...it is really hard, I know.
My brother - my hero - died this past October. He seemed totally fine, happy and cheerful one minute and literally the next minute, he had a massive heart attack and was gone that quickly - he was 54 and we are all still numb.
I know that even 6 years later, you are hurting...I am so sorry for your loss
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:00:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2015 10:28:41 GMT
I am so sorry he left the earth so young. May his memory resonate in your soul forever and ever.  |
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,238
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Apr 15, 2015 11:36:27 GMT
I am sorry for your loss. We all grieve in our own way and no one can tell us what's the right way to do it.
My DH passed away four years ago and some days it feels like it was yesterday. Every now and then I have a day when I just need to "feel it" again and I just let the grief wash over me. I have a few family members and friends that I can be with when this happens, they support me and talk about him with me. Others are not so understanding. That's okay, I just need to stay away from them until it passes.
OP, you need to grieve for your brother and don't let anyone tell you you don't.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Apr 15, 2015 12:18:29 GMT
Im so sorry for your loss.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Apr 15, 2015 13:13:48 GMT
Hugs to you on your brother's anniversary, scrappintoee.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 15, 2015 14:05:41 GMT
I'm glad you have fond memories of being so kind to your brother. I feel the way you do about my dad's passing. He was also in ICU. As he declined from cancer, it was a crazy time for me and my family. Selling a house and I was pregnant along with having a young child. I wasn't in the loop much as far as his health was concerned and heard differing stories from different siblings. Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's been 15 years and is still hard some days.
It doesn't help that our family (5 of us siblings) has splintered and I'm not even talking to 2 of them. Glad dad isn't around to see that.
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loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by loco coco on Apr 15, 2015 14:10:46 GMT
Yes, I lost someone suddenly and 2 years later it still doesn't seem real sometimes, it has actually created a bit of fear in me. Im so sorry for your loss, no matter how long goes by it still hurts! No one has the right to tell you how you should grieve or how long it should take. *(hugs)*
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,213
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Post by mimima on Apr 15, 2015 14:11:22 GMT
Memory Eternal. I am sorry.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:00:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2015 14:17:50 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. I too, understand the surreal feeling of losing someone. My mom was also in the ICU intubated and being a critical care nurse, it was EXTREMELY difficult for me not to feel guilt over not being able to save her. Talk about feeling helpless. I will never forget the day that one of her nurses took me into the med room and reminded me that in that instance, I was daughter first and foremost.
It's been 15 years and I miss her every day. Sending all who have lost comforting thoughts and hugs!
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Rainbow
Pearl Clutcher
Where salt is in the air and sand is at my feet...
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Post by Rainbow on Apr 15, 2015 15:30:38 GMT
So sorry about your brother. I sometimes still feel it isn't quite real that my dad has passed. How can it be? Really? My world had never existed without him.
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Post by NanaKate on Apr 15, 2015 16:15:21 GMT
Scrappintoee, I understand and could have written your post myself. My little brother has been gone almost 13 months. (((HUGS))) to all who are missing loved ones.
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Post by evelynr on Apr 15, 2015 17:17:06 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss. I feel the same way about my dad, who will be gone 1 year in a couple weeks. The anniversary I am dreading so much.
The feeling of not being able to believe what has happened? Yes I feel it too. I reason it out as being a coping mechanism that our brains shift into automatically when faced with traumatic events. You're not crazy. It's a natural reaction. Hopefully it helps you a little. All the best wishes to you & your family.
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Post by lucyg on Apr 15, 2015 18:22:54 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss and I know you'll miss your brother forever.
It's been over 20 years since my husband's death, and I still wake up some days and say, "Wait, what?!?!"
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 15, 2015 18:50:25 GMT
I am sorry for your loss. I understand it too. I lost my own brother two years ago, he was only 32. He had health issues but seemed to be doing better so it was quite unexpected. An autopsy was done but they still couldn't determine what killed him. They think his heart just stopped beating.
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Post by scrappintoee on Apr 15, 2015 20:30:23 GMT
Thank you so much, everyone!!!! And I'm sending MANY ((( HUGS ))) right back to all of you !!!!!! For those who've lost spouses.....wow, I can't bear to imagine what that would be like!!! I can't imagine not hearing my DH laughing SO HARD when he plays with our doggies every day!!!  I'm also very close to my 84-year-old (healthy!) Dad....we are like best friends and we crack eachother up! My brother that died and I used to talk about we couldn't even imagine how horrible it was going to be when Dad died, but we knew having eachother to get through it would be great! Wellll, that's not gonna happen! .I read a GREAT book about *sibling** loss (that topic is RARE, as the author said---when her brother died, she couldn't find ONE book about sibling loss!!!)....Anyhoo, aside from SO many other true things she writes about, she mentioned how now that your sibling is gone, you don't have them there to get through your parent(s)' death(s)....yea, that is a bummer! I am thankful to have an older sis and brother that I'm close to, and hopefully we'll all be around to get through our Dad's death together.... |
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Post by hop2 on Apr 15, 2015 20:41:51 GMT
I am sorry for your loss. Rememberance days can be hard.
I still haven't accepted my sisters sudden death. I go to call or text her all the time. It's so unreal.
I dealt with the deaths of my parents so much 'better' in terms of accepting it or wrapping my brain around it. But this was such a shock so sudden I still can not wrap my brain around it. Sometimes I find myself in a rage at the idiot who killed her, I don't even know him.
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Post by eebud on Apr 15, 2015 20:50:43 GMT
I am so sorry about each of you who have lost a sibling or spouse. Gone so young but never forgotten.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:00:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2015 20:53:20 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by papersilly on Apr 15, 2015 20:59:52 GMT
sorry for your loss.
next week my mom will have been gone for 5 years already. I can't believe that much time has passed. so much has happened in our lives that she did not witness. i don't wish that she had lived longer because that would have extended her pain and suffering. i hope somehow she knows that everyone is doing okay and that she is missed.
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Post by donna on Apr 15, 2015 21:28:01 GMT
I totally understand how you feel. My sister has been gone 27 years. I still have dreams from time to time where she is alive in my dream. When I wake up I have to mourn her loss all over again.
I lost my Dad 11 years ago and while it was sad it wasn't as hard as losing my sister was.
Hugs
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 15, 2015 22:17:10 GMT
It's been years since I lost my parents and I still have those moments of shock. It never becomes OK. It just doesn't. It's completely normal. Losing a sibling is beyond sad. ((((HUGS))))
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Post by papersilly on Apr 15, 2015 22:40:57 GMT
I still have dreams from time to time where she is alive in my dream. I love those kinds of dreams. in mine, my mom is young again. she is healthy and she talks to me. during the last few years of her life, her voice was taken by her disease so it's nice to hear her voice even if it's just in my dreams. |
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Post by auntkelly on Apr 15, 2015 23:08:08 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by ~KellyAnn~ on Apr 16, 2015 2:11:16 GMT
I am so sorry that you are marking another year without your brother. I understand when you say that you feel like his death is surreal.
That is the word I use to describe my mom's passing. Surreal. It doesn't seem real, and it's been a little over two years now. She was healthy all her life. We were going to celebrate Christmas that day - she had all our favorite foods made and presents wrapped. That morning dad heard her fall out of bed. A massive brain aneurysm, they said. Seeing her in that hospital bed for a week, unconscious, ventilated, not knowing what the prognosis would be - then having to make the terrible, agonizing, but right decision to let her go. I try not to think of that awful week of limbo. I don't know if I'm grieving or in denial. If this is just how I'm going to feel - missing my best friend so much and yet thinking she's still "here" just maybe visiting someone..... or is the reality of death's finality going to hit me and I'll be a melted, paralyzed puddle? I usually cry at the drop of a hat, but I don't cry a lot about my mom. I still feel her with me. Surreal.
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?" Don't worry, I'm not crazy ---hee hee!--I know & accept that it DID happen, it's just still a bit surreal sometimes....
( I can see
