esredhead
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Jun 26, 2014 15:56:12 GMT
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Post by esredhead on Apr 29, 2015 17:25:48 GMT
I am adopted and have known since I was a baby. I was blessed with amazing and supportive parents . My momma has even encourged my brother and I to find our birth families and supported me this intire time. Well, in January with the help of my best friend I joined ancestry and took their dna test. Within 2 weeks of getting my results back I not only found my birth mother but sisters and a brother along with many nieces and nephews. We have been talking this past week and I will be driving to visit her for the first time on thursday. I am beyond nervous, excited and it feels like mexican jumping beans have taken over my body.
So my question is this would it be wierd or out of line to give her a mothers day card? Esp since mothers day is less than 3 weeks away? Also I tend to talk faster than my mind can work when i get nervous would it look odd if i had a paper or notecard with my questons on it so i dont forget them? And for those peas who are adopted what type of questions would want answered?
andrea
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valincal
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Post by valincal on Apr 29, 2015 17:31:58 GMT
Wow! How exciting! I hope you have a wonderful reunion. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg)
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Post by redshoes on Apr 29, 2015 17:33:37 GMT
Wow, congratulations! I would imagine she will be just as nervous as you, so don't worry!!! Do whatever feels right and comfortable for you. I hope your first in person meeting goes wonderful!!
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loco coco
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Post by loco coco on Apr 29, 2015 17:34:12 GMT
wow, that is so exciting! Im happy for you and also happy your parents are so supportive, they sound like great people. I dont think it would be weird to take a notecard
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tincin
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Post by tincin on Apr 29, 2015 17:36:31 GMT
I don't think a Mother's Day card would be inappropriate, after all, she gave birth to you. If you are worried you will forget things you want to ask, you should write your questions down. I hope it all goes awesome for you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2015 17:37:50 GMT
I don't think a Mother's Day card would be inappropriate, after all, she gave birth to you. If you are worried you will forget things you want to ask, you should write your questions down. I hope it all goes awesome for you. ![:yeahthat:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/yrGoHMAelQz8f2Qt0sjb.jpg)
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Post by annabella on Apr 29, 2015 17:40:10 GMT
Congratulations! I wouldn't give her a card yet. Let her show her interest in you for the course of a year.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2015 17:44:50 GMT
I think, and remember I have no experience in this, that if she is willing to meet you, a mother's day card would be nice. She isn't your Momma. She could become your friend though. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg)
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eastcoastpea
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Post by eastcoastpea on Apr 29, 2015 17:45:54 GMT
Wow, Andrea, that's big news. I hope your visit goes well. I'll be looking for an update after your visit.
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Olan
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Post by Olan on Apr 29, 2015 17:50:35 GMT
I would hold off on the Mother's Day card. I hope your weekend is wonderful and you connect with your birth mother but if it doesn't then a card wouldn't be appropriate.
Again I hope it's all you hope it will be and in that case it would be perfect timing as Mother's Day approaches
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2015 17:56:14 GMT
How exciting for you! I wouldn't worry about a card or questions until later. If the relationship is all you hope for you can send a card next week and ask questions as you think of them.. after all the relationship isn't a one day event.
I think you'll remember the most important questions without a prompt.
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ginacivey
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Post by ginacivey on Apr 29, 2015 17:56:37 GMT
i agree that a mother's day card might be a bit premature
i think it's wise to write down the questions you have for her
and you might want to note the answers as well
good luck
gina
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Post by putabuttononit on Apr 29, 2015 18:08:24 GMT
How exciting!! May I just say that your Mom (who raised you..your mommy) must be an incredible woman, to support you in all of this. Enjoy this visit! I think a notecard would be perfectly fine. I'd wait on the card until you have a relationship. Maybe next year?
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Post by eebud on Apr 29, 2015 18:10:54 GMT
I would not take a Mother's Day card. Maybe you can take a small bouquet of flowers. I hope your reunion is all you hope for it to be.
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Post by peajays on Apr 29, 2015 18:19:01 GMT
Congrats on finding your Birth family! I too would hold off on a "Mother's Day" card, but maybe just a general card that you could put your own sentiment into would be more appropriate. p.s. esredhead Could you please elaborate (for my personal information) how this DNA test with Ancestry actually found your birth family?
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akathy
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Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Apr 29, 2015 18:22:58 GMT
I like eebud's idea of bringing flowers. I don't think it's ever wrong to do a kind thing. What an exciting day for you! I would definitely write down some questions. Maybe leave the list in your purse and check it to make sure you haven't forgotten anything when you use the restroom. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2015 18:25:10 GMT
That is awesome! So glad she was receptive. We recently found (or she found us) DD's sister and we love her. My MIL, however, refuses to meet her. I think the mother's day card would be awesome! I would definitely want all the medical history I could get and also names for family tree if genealogy interests you at all. And I would love to see old photos and also take photos with her.
Good luck!
Ann
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2015 18:25:49 GMT
Congrats on finding your Birth family! I too would hold off on a "Mother's Day" card, but maybe just a general card that you could put your own sentiment into would be more appropriate. p.s. esredhead Could you please elaborate (for my personal information) how this DNA test with Ancestry actually found your birth family? I would like to know this too!
Ann
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Post by coffeetalk on Apr 29, 2015 18:27:07 GMT
How exciting! If it helps to have a note card with you to put you at ease, I say go for it. Your birth mother might very well be nervous too. I wouldn't do a Mother's Day card per se, but maybe a heartfelt note sent after the visit if you feel it's appropriate. Please follow up here after your visit. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg)
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nylene
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Post by nylene on Apr 29, 2015 19:01:33 GMT
Congratulations! I hope it all goes well with your first meeting. Maybe you could take a small flowering plant...that she could watch grow as your relationship grows. Be sure to keep us updated.
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back to *pea*ality
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Apr 29, 2015 19:06:46 GMT
That is wonderful!
I would do exactly what your heart tells you to. Bring that card, and if it feels right give it to her, or not.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Apr 29, 2015 19:13:08 GMT
I hope you and your birth mom have a nice reunion.
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M in Carolina
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Post by M in Carolina on Apr 29, 2015 19:21:56 GMT
I'm so excited for you!
I think the Mother's Day card would be a good idea. It takes a very strong woman to give up a child for a better life. 43 years ago, she wouldn't have even had a choice to keep you if she was very young or unmarried.
I would definitely want medical information, what illnesses grandparents had/what they died for/how old they lived. (grandparents illnesses are much more relevant than doctors used to think)
I'd also be interested in your family's ethnicities--you probably got a lot of that info from your DNA test.
I think it's wonderful that your parents are supporting you!
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Post by Dreamsofnyssa on Apr 29, 2015 19:30:08 GMT
I think it is very smart to take a notecard with your questions. It will be a very emotional and overwhelming time and it will definitely make it easier to remember. When I met my birth mom I totally forgot all the questions that I had planned to ask.
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Post by missysauter on Apr 29, 2015 20:17:43 GMT
i agree that a mother's day card might be a bit premature i think it's wise to write down the questions you have for her and you might want to note the answers as well good luck gina This! Good luck with meeting your birth mom!
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esredhead
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Post by esredhead on Apr 29, 2015 20:56:03 GMT
Thank you guys so much. To those who asked, before i did the dna test i joined a fb group called search squad who has dozens of search angels that all they do is research and help those find lost family members. I think i read about them on this board. They strongly suggested the dna test and getting my non id information from the agency i was adopted from. Once i had my results from ancestry i was lucky enough to have several and second cousins show up. From there my best friend and the amazing women in the search squard where able to weed through the family trees and connect the dots.
I had already desided to bring her flowers. just didnt know if the card would be over the top. still on the fence.
andrea
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melissa
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Post by melissa on Apr 29, 2015 20:59:44 GMT
I'd hold off on the card. After the meeting, you can send a card and with a thank you note... assuming all goes well!
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Post by pierkiss on Apr 29, 2015 21:13:58 GMT
I would take her a bouquet of flowers. Something bright and happy.
I think it's totally fine for you to take written questions with you. I would have to, as I totally draw a blank in situations like this.
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caro
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Post by caro on Apr 29, 2015 21:36:13 GMT
How exciting!! May I just say that your Mom (who raised you..your mommy) must be an incredible woman, to support you in all of this. Enjoy this visit! I think a notecard would be perfectly fine. I'd wait on the card until you have a relationship. Maybe next year? This!
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scrappington
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Post by scrappington on Apr 29, 2015 21:56:42 GMT
My dh met his dad 2 years ago. There first call was on fathers day If you want to take one take one you don't have to give it. I wish you the best in this.
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