Post by M in Carolina on Apr 30, 2015 9:12:06 GMT
The only time my mom called me after my surgery last week was on Monday to strong arm us into agreeing to settle. So we did. She acted all concerned and insisted she was coming, but I didn't want dh to have to deal with her for so long, especially since I wouldn't get out of recovery until late afternoon at the earliest.
Dh did talk to the lawyer while I was in surgery, but I didn't trust my mom to not bully or yell at dh. Dh also talked to the "friend" that had bullied me the day before. She did ask if we needed anything, but dh had already driven us to the hospital so it was too late.
I haven't even heard from my mom since last Thurs. Even though she was SO CONCERNED BEFORE, and she knew that friend had called and talked to us about the estate. I'm sure friend told her that she got upset at me for 'not being concerned enough' that my mom is "killing herself" with worry. My mom will pick fights and find something to be worried about. That's what she does. Dh had to tell friend that he didn't appreciate my mom and her stressing me and him out more, knowing that I had surgery and dh was on disability. I guess they think dh is on vacation and enjoying himself.
My dad had actually told dh how everything with the estate was supposed to work, but my mom and friend refuse to believe that the lawyers are either completely incompetent or unethical--there was also conflict of interest issues. My mom and friend wouldn't listen to dh, and her lawyer wouldn't even give us straight answers/didn't even answer all of dh's questions. Dh and I were willing to pay our own lawyer to get a few more answers, and my mom was first in line for the creditors, but she insisted on settling even though it wasn't in her favour. Oh well.
I'm not going to spend my money and fight these lawyers to get my mom more money if she's going to fight us tooth and nail over everything. She can just owe money or whatever. Dh and I feel like we did everything we could to help. We did this in honour of my dad, because that's what he wanted.
I'm glad it's all over. I'm not really that upset about my mom. She keeps showing me how she is. Friend kept telling me over and over how "much my mother REALLY loves me". I'm so sick of hearing that. I told her that respect and boundaries and actions were more important than lots of words.
My mom did call my cell today. The battery was almost dead, and I've politely asked my mother over a dozen times to call me on my house phone. I don't get good reception/I hear better on the house phone. She refuses to do that because she *gasp* "can't" voice dial my home number. I even told her all she had to do was switch the numbers in my contact.
I'm not even worth her effort to dial me on the phone. (she uses her cell at home because it's free, so it wasn't that she was on the road/plus I've asked her to not call me from the road because I can't hear her/she fumbles with her phone and is a menace although she insists she's the world's best driver.)
Dh was so sweet to go by TCBY after surgery because I was so hungry and wanted their amazing low fat White Chocolate ice cream. The waffle cone with small serving was $5, so I didn't purchase an extra quart because it would have cost $10. I really wish I had because I'm craving it now. I do have less overall pain since the procedure, but I'm still having problems eating a lot of protein or fat. That quart would have been SO good!
Dh is having to fight the insurance company that his company uses for disability because they denied his claim. Evidently they deny all claims, but this is adding extra stress and a lot of running around to doctors' offices and such. I'm trying to reassure dh that his doctors, who advised him to go on disability, and HR will help him figure this out. I'm just frustrated for dh because he was starting to feel a bit better and had been able to eat a bit and watch a few movies instead of sleep all the time.
Dh also gave me a nice bit of mad money to spend on my wardrobe, and I can't decide what I want! I have lists in Pinterest and have been reading a bunch of blogs and websites about wardrobe capsules and such. I just don't feel inspired, and after so many years of squeezing blood from pennies, I have a hard time spending money on myself.
I've been wanting some diamond stud earrings, and dh was wanting to surprise me with them as an anniversary present. I explained that I didn't know what carat size I wanted, and that I also wanted to try on the earrings because I want some I can leave in all the time. Carat size alone doesn't dictate the mass of the stones and how far they stick out from the posts.
Dh wanted to go shopping for them on Saturday when we went out, but the store wasn't open. We decided to go to another mall instead, but dh also had to go back to the eye doctor for a recheck. It was good that we went because dh had an infection that would have been bad if he had waited all weekend. (I didn't know he had an infection)
We never got to go shopping, and dh felt bad because of the infection. We did get to go to Barnes and Noble, but that was only because the local Walgreens was closed so we had to drive all the way out to the mall to the closest 24 hour one. We went into B&N because the wait time for the prescription was an hour.
I'm hoping dh feels better this weekend.
I was able to find some shorts for me and some shirts for dh at Sam's while we waited.
Dh did talk to the lawyer while I was in surgery, but I didn't trust my mom to not bully or yell at dh. Dh also talked to the "friend" that had bullied me the day before. She did ask if we needed anything, but dh had already driven us to the hospital so it was too late.
I haven't even heard from my mom since last Thurs. Even though she was SO CONCERNED BEFORE, and she knew that friend had called and talked to us about the estate. I'm sure friend told her that she got upset at me for 'not being concerned enough' that my mom is "killing herself" with worry. My mom will pick fights and find something to be worried about. That's what she does. Dh had to tell friend that he didn't appreciate my mom and her stressing me and him out more, knowing that I had surgery and dh was on disability. I guess they think dh is on vacation and enjoying himself.
My dad had actually told dh how everything with the estate was supposed to work, but my mom and friend refuse to believe that the lawyers are either completely incompetent or unethical--there was also conflict of interest issues. My mom and friend wouldn't listen to dh, and her lawyer wouldn't even give us straight answers/didn't even answer all of dh's questions. Dh and I were willing to pay our own lawyer to get a few more answers, and my mom was first in line for the creditors, but she insisted on settling even though it wasn't in her favour. Oh well.
I'm not going to spend my money and fight these lawyers to get my mom more money if she's going to fight us tooth and nail over everything. She can just owe money or whatever. Dh and I feel like we did everything we could to help. We did this in honour of my dad, because that's what he wanted.
I'm glad it's all over. I'm not really that upset about my mom. She keeps showing me how she is. Friend kept telling me over and over how "much my mother REALLY loves me". I'm so sick of hearing that. I told her that respect and boundaries and actions were more important than lots of words.
My mom did call my cell today. The battery was almost dead, and I've politely asked my mother over a dozen times to call me on my house phone. I don't get good reception/I hear better on the house phone. She refuses to do that because she *gasp* "can't" voice dial my home number. I even told her all she had to do was switch the numbers in my contact.
I'm not even worth her effort to dial me on the phone. (she uses her cell at home because it's free, so it wasn't that she was on the road/plus I've asked her to not call me from the road because I can't hear her/she fumbles with her phone and is a menace although she insists she's the world's best driver.)
Dh was so sweet to go by TCBY after surgery because I was so hungry and wanted their amazing low fat White Chocolate ice cream. The waffle cone with small serving was $5, so I didn't purchase an extra quart because it would have cost $10. I really wish I had because I'm craving it now. I do have less overall pain since the procedure, but I'm still having problems eating a lot of protein or fat. That quart would have been SO good!
Dh is having to fight the insurance company that his company uses for disability because they denied his claim. Evidently they deny all claims, but this is adding extra stress and a lot of running around to doctors' offices and such. I'm trying to reassure dh that his doctors, who advised him to go on disability, and HR will help him figure this out. I'm just frustrated for dh because he was starting to feel a bit better and had been able to eat a bit and watch a few movies instead of sleep all the time.
Dh also gave me a nice bit of mad money to spend on my wardrobe, and I can't decide what I want! I have lists in Pinterest and have been reading a bunch of blogs and websites about wardrobe capsules and such. I just don't feel inspired, and after so many years of squeezing blood from pennies, I have a hard time spending money on myself.
I've been wanting some diamond stud earrings, and dh was wanting to surprise me with them as an anniversary present. I explained that I didn't know what carat size I wanted, and that I also wanted to try on the earrings because I want some I can leave in all the time. Carat size alone doesn't dictate the mass of the stones and how far they stick out from the posts.
Dh wanted to go shopping for them on Saturday when we went out, but the store wasn't open. We decided to go to another mall instead, but dh also had to go back to the eye doctor for a recheck. It was good that we went because dh had an infection that would have been bad if he had waited all weekend. (I didn't know he had an infection)
We never got to go shopping, and dh felt bad because of the infection. We did get to go to Barnes and Noble, but that was only because the local Walgreens was closed so we had to drive all the way out to the mall to the closest 24 hour one. We went into B&N because the wait time for the prescription was an hour.
I'm hoping dh feels better this weekend.
I was able to find some shorts for me and some shirts for dh at Sam's while we waited.