|
Post by psoccer on Jul 11, 2014 5:51:38 GMT
It's been a while since I have been to a baby shower, and I have one coming up. When I had my children, I remember getting clothes, but no big presents. I had planned on just getting some clothes, but I looked at the registry to see if there was something that they might need. It looks like they need everything, but I was shocked, most items that they are asking for are over 150 dollars. The cheapest item is a 50.00 teddy bear. The crib is 500, car seats are over 250, the stroller is 180, bedding is 230, and so on. At work I have gone in with others, and gotten a bigger gift, but I don't know others at this party. While I know these are things that the baby will need, it just seems like so much money.I feel like I have been living under a rock. Does anyone have a good "go-to" baby gift, or could I stick with a few outfits, or are the guests expected to buy off the registry? TIA.
|
|
|
Post by irisheyes on Jul 11, 2014 6:16:48 GMT
I would buy something that fits with your budget even if it isn't on the registry. I usually make square (45 inches)receiving blankets out of flannel (double sided) and burp cloths. They are the best when trying to nurse or swaddle a baby.
|
|
The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,340
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
|
Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jul 11, 2014 6:48:49 GMT
I would come up with an amount that I am willing to spend and go from there.
Maybe you could get a cute blanket and have the baby's name embroidered on it. I have done this several times and it has been well received.
Also you could get a gift card so that she can use it towards one of her higher priced items.
|
|
|
Post by aleighl55 on Jul 11, 2014 7:18:36 GMT
Are you sure you saw the entire registry? I think the smaller items without pictures always end up at the bottom in a weird section.
I wouldn't assume that they expect guests to purchase all of the larger items. When I registered we put everything we would need on the list. A lot of family went in on big items and I was left with a list of in purchased items so I could see what I still needed plus I got a coupon for 20% off whatever was left. In my area, most gifts are $20-$50 but, and my grandmother complained my entire shower about this, there are people who go overboard. My best friend brought 2 large bags of clothes and then another bag or 2 of things off my registry. Her mother and sister bought more. I only invited 1 acquaintance, who happened to be a young woman, and she bought me a bottle and an outfit. I was just as thankful for her gift as I was the larger ones. Buy what you feel comfortable with.
|
|
|
Post by Scrapbrat on Jul 11, 2014 10:33:44 GMT
The reason there may not be small stuff on the registry is that places like Target, you can't just put "baby bottles" on your list ( or whatever). You have to pick out a specific item and scan it in. I bought gifts for a group from a registry one time and spent hours finding the particular socks and little items. Later I asked the mom to be and she said she just wanted socks, but there was no way to add generic types of items.
And one of my go-to gifts is a picture frame.
|
|
|
Post by darkangel090260 on Jul 11, 2014 11:53:10 GMT
Some Shower are no more the gift grabs. Last one we attended was a family shower, They had on there a 200.00 stuff animal, plus everything ells. Hell I felt bag when I add anything over $25-30 to mine.
As for the last one mom did not open any of the gift that day, They did not have game or prizes and she still has not gotten her thank you note out and the baby is a month old. She had the shower 2 month be for the baby was born.
|
|
|
Post by nepean on Jul 11, 2014 12:05:39 GMT
Those types of registries irritate me. Let me clarify, minimal to no lower cost items. To me that is very presumptive. When I had my kids (the youngest is 6, so not that long ago) I assumed it was our responsibility to purchase the large (costly) items. We do not have oodles of money or anything, but our baby, our responsibility. Having said that, we made conservative choices that fit within our budget. I do understand what a PP said about putting everything on the registry to utilise the 20% coupon. That is a nice saving right there.
That being said, if I were in your shoes, I would choose what dollar amount worked for ME, and go with a nice outfit, diapers, a giftcard, some books, or something else of your selection. If you know the theme of the nursery (if there is one) you could select something from etsy that would work. I would not feel pressured to spend more than I could, nor would I feel guilty.
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Jul 11, 2014 12:07:49 GMT
I agree with others, pick a budget and spend accordingly, whether or not the item is on the registry. Books are always nice. Include a gift receipt and they can always take the stuff back.
I've seen registries like you describe and do not think it is necessarily unintentional. I used to moderate an online parenting board, and a lot of the ladies there did not want to put little items on their registries because they "could afford" blankets and bottles and "didn't want people to buy them junky little things", but "really needed" the big-ticket items, which they "couldn't afford." There are a lot of air quotes in that sentence, and I will just leave it at that.
|
|
|
Post by kelbel827 on Jul 11, 2014 12:08:16 GMT
Why can't a baby shower just be that? Not every event that you bring a gift to is a gift grab. Everyone would complain if there were no registry, but then complains when there is a registry. Baby crap is expensive, and if this is a first time mom, they have NO clue what they need. If I were to have another baby tomorrow, I know what I need. I can guarantee you, it won't be one of those car seat stroller carrier things. On top of those being super expensive, they are big, bulky, and heavy. As for the OP, bring any gift you want. If you were getting outfits, get them. Plus, does anyone really pay any attention to what was bought? It's not about what you give, its the thought behind it, no matter what the peas say
|
|
|
Post by alibama on Jul 11, 2014 12:16:16 GMT
I too have seen registry like that and those seem like gift grabs and that's all. My daughter just had her shower a couple of months ago when she registered she was told she would get a percentage back on her Babies R Us card as rewards for everything that was purchased, she put lots of small things on it and then some bigger stuff that they planned on buying themselves because they would get that extra credit. Maybe they were doing something like that?
|
|
|
Post by rumplesnat on Jul 11, 2014 12:25:56 GMT
Books and picture frames are my go-to gifts. I always appreciated those gifts more, too. I can look at a frame years & years later and remember who gave it to us. Same with a book that someone has personalized on the inside cover. Car seats and crib sheets and strollers, while necessary for a certain amount of time, just don't carry the same sentimental value to me.
|
|
|
Post by alissa103 on Jul 11, 2014 13:19:21 GMT
Clothes are still appreciated. We didn't register for any because inventory moves fast on those items. Clothes we registered for when we first put together a register were long gone and no longer available by the time our shower rolled around. So I took them off.
Still, we got a TON of clothes, more than DS could really wear before outgrowing, or they were the wrong season by the time he fit into them. I used to buy clothes for showers, too. Now I give things we didn't get a lot of but that I loved. I make flannel covered burp cloths and give the mom a cute stack of coordinated ones. Swaddlers. Cotton PJs Ina variety of sizes, as these are seasonless. Books are also great gifts. Or I give a gift card to Target for them to put towards a big ticket item or to buy diapers, wipes, etc. Those were SO appreciated.
|
|
|
Post by khaleesi on Jul 11, 2014 13:28:13 GMT
I too have seen registry like that and those seem like gift grabs and that's all. My daughter just had her shower a couple of months ago when she registered she was told she would get a percentage back on her Babies R Us card as rewards for everything that was purchased, she put lots of small things on it and then some bigger stuff that they planned on buying themselves because they would get that extra credit. Maybe they were doing something like that? I have seen this and have had a mother-to-be tell me that was some of the reasoning as well. I have also seen where several people will go in together to get a larger item. I always look at the registry once I know what my budget is and go from there. Regardless of what is on the registry, everyone gets at least 1 or 2 books for the baby from me. It's one of the things I always do because I want every baby to start life with books
|
|
|
Post by ChicagoKTS on Jul 11, 2014 13:43:50 GMT
I would get a gift card for the place she's registered in an amount you're comfortable giving and wrap it with some other smaller gift like clothes or a toy, whatever suits you so you have a wrapped gift to bring to the shower. There's bound to be things she doesn't get from the registry or can use in the future.
|
|
|
Post by alibama on Jul 11, 2014 14:47:56 GMT
The girl that did my daughters baby shower did something neat. She bought a couple of books of nursery rymes and had the guests sign it. I thought that was really cute!
Another person gave my daughter the Dr Seuss book O The places We Will Go. She is supposed to have every one of her teachers through the years right something in the book at the end of the year. I thought that was pretty neat.
|
|
|
Post by myshelly on Jul 11, 2014 14:55:42 GMT
If there are no smaller items left on the registry I would just buy a gift card to the store where they are registered in the amount you are comfortable with.
I would rather my money go towards something a baby actually needs, like a car seat, than to waste it on a cute outfit that is not a necessity and may not be to the mom's taste.
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Jul 11, 2014 15:00:04 GMT
My go-to gift is the book Good Night, Moon and Pat the Bunny. Now, they are coming in gift set with a small stuffed animal that goes with the book.
If it is a family member, I knit a baby blanket---but it takes me about 4 months to make the blanket, so I have to get working when I hear someone is pregnant.
|
|
|
Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 15:01:42 GMT
I always think practical things for babies is the way to go. Unless it is a close friend or family member that I want to do something extra special for. Clothes for infants rarely get used up before they outgrown them.
My sister loaded me up with the super thick cloth diapers (I think 3 dozen?) I was appreciative but knew I was going to do disposable diapers so I was confused. Well, pretty soon all the ladies at the shower kept saying to me - Oh those make the best burp cloths! Oh I use those to put down when I'm changing the baby and of course, I've used them for dust cloths now that my DS is in his teens.
I loved the receiving blankets, the extra bottles, the baby wipes. It was so nice to have them on hand when I needed them and not have to run out and buy them.
|
|
|
Post by cannes on Jul 11, 2014 15:10:52 GMT
I agree that sometimes it's a gift grab and sometimes those expensive items are put on there because the parents get discounts or rewards for purchasing items on their registry.
If there's nothing on the registry in your budget, it's Ok. The registry is just a suggestion of things they'd like, not a command to buy one of them. Have fun shopping - picking out baby gifts is always so much fun!
|
|
ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
Jun 25, 2014 19:18:36 GMT
|
Post by ginacivey on Jul 11, 2014 15:15:02 GMT
buy her what you are comfortable buying a registry should be used as a suggestion you aren't bound to it
gina
|
|
|
Post by kelbel827 on Jul 11, 2014 15:26:48 GMT
A lot of times, I use the registry to check the theme and make something. I make these really cute hooded towels, and try to match the theme, if I can.
|
|
|
Post by janesays on Jul 11, 2014 15:38:43 GMT
Reading all these responses is bringing back so many memories for me! Aww! I love baby showers! I loved the only one I had and loved the only two I have ever been to!
In these cases, the mothers-to-be didn't register for high dollar items. One of them was well-off financially and I remember she registered for small items. That was the sweetest shower! The other baby shower was my sister's and my parents and her and her husband bought the big stuff. That's what I did to when I had my shower too. I would not ever ask my friends to buy my baby's stroller! Or a $50 teddy bear!! What in the world??
I love the ideas posted before me. The gift card attached to a toy and also getting frames and books! I'm going to remember that if I ever get to go to another baby shower.
There were 2 gifts that I received that I really loved. One was a basket filled with baby lotion, soap, powder, diaper cream, etc. and the other was a baby bathtub that she put a few baby towels and washcloths inside. I think towels and washcloths would be good too. I never seemed to have enough of those.
|
|
The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,973
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
|
Post by The Great Carpezio on Jul 11, 2014 15:50:41 GMT
I think we overthink these things. I have been guilty of overanalyzing registries, and you know, it's pretty judgmental and I'm trying to do less of that. If they only have big items and you don't want to buy a big item, don't. Buy clothes or books or give a gift card. When I buy clothes I try to buy 3-12 month clothes. Most people get a ton of newborn clothes, so I figure I'll help them out later on (and some babies outgrow newborn right away).
|
|
|
Post by Basket1lady on Jul 11, 2014 16:17:43 GMT
I buy books. Board books are pricey and I'm a big reader. At this point, it's what people expect from me!
I wouldn't judge the higher priced items. The parents have no idea who is doing a group gift, who loves babies and buys expensive gifts, who gets a discount from items off the registry. I shop with my budget and I don't feel I'm cheap. If I do buy an equipment item, I try to remember those specialty items that were so handy to have, but were from boutiques or The Right Start catalog. Because when you are new parents and adding another person to the budget, even diapers can seem expensive.
|
|
|
Post by psoccer on Jul 11, 2014 17:23:37 GMT
Thanks everyone. I think I will stick with the blankets, I can make one, I have time. I still have the ones that people made for my children. They were always great for throwing on the floor. I'll put a book in as well. You all have given me some good ideas. Thank you so much!
|
|
|
Post by padresfan619 on Jul 11, 2014 17:36:08 GMT
I like to buy swaddling blankets, 3-5 onesies in different sizes and some bath time products. Johnson & Johnson sells a big pre-made tub with all kinds of goodies. I always include a gift receipt in case they have to return something.
|
|
denainok
Shy Member
Posts: 43
Jun 30, 2014 15:29:30 GMT
|
Post by denainok on Jul 11, 2014 19:07:37 GMT
I'm another that says buy what you want and can afford. Don't worry about shopping off the registry. I appreciated everything I received. I especially loved items that were handmade.
|
|