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Post by hollymolly on May 3, 2015 4:08:58 GMT
I'm taking DS to Destin this summer because he hasn't gone on vacation in years. We're staying at an awesome resort directly on the beach. I only booked one room, with 2 double beds, because I can certainly still share a room with my adult son.
Today he asked how I'd feel about his friend J coming too. I'm sure it would be a better vacation for DS to have his best buddy to hang out with at night.
We've known J for 8 years. He's a good guy, very responsible, not at all annoying to be around, would travel well. He would be able to cover his expenses other than the room.
I don't have enough Hilton points to cover a second room for 5 nights. The rooms are too expensive to just book an extra room and pay cash.
If J joins us, it would be me, a single 45 year old woman, sharing a room with two 26 year old men, one of whom is not my family.
What do the peas think?
Spoiler Alert: I told DS I didn't think it was a good idea. He pretty much expected me to say that and of course had not said anything about it to J.
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Post by freecharlie on May 3, 2015 4:12:07 GMT
I think that would probably make me uncomfortable. Separate rooms or a suite would be one thing, but sharing would just be weird.
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Post by hollymolly on May 3, 2015 4:14:05 GMT
Yes, that's what I was thinking. And I think J would be just as uncomfortable.
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Post by lucyg on May 3, 2015 4:19:20 GMT
Same. I'd share with my adult son (and have) or my brother (also have), but not someone unrelated.
Could you pay for half a hotel room if he or your son could come up with the other half?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 22:28:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2015 5:37:43 GMT
Could you get a suite with a fold out couch? I think it sounds like a ton of fun if you could make it happen.
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Post by eebud on May 3, 2015 5:40:21 GMT
I agree with freecharlie and Lucy I would not be comfortable with that. Can you get a one bedroom suite if available? They usually have a bedroom and a fold out couch in the living area.
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Post by cmpeter on May 3, 2015 5:53:18 GMT
I agree, I wouldn't be comfortable sharing a room with my son's friend either.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 22:28:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2015 5:54:51 GMT
No.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on May 3, 2015 5:56:59 GMT
I would say no, because...
If it's Mother - Son time, then a third person/friend of your son, changes the dynamic of the quality of the time. There is usually a difference in expectation and itinerary, between what a Mother and adult son would do, and what two twenty something year old guys would do.
A third person adds to the noise level and space used, in a small room.
I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing that personal of a space(beds next to each other, wearing pajamas, shared bathroom, etc...), with someone that I don't know that well.
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Post by littlemama on May 3, 2015 11:56:50 GMT
Awkward!!! Plus, if your son brings a friend, it won't really be a Mother-son trip any more.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 22:28:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2015 12:03:16 GMT
I'd def say no...this is your trip with DS...not anyone else's.
He can plan a separate trip with his friend.
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Post by anxiousmom on May 3, 2015 12:17:11 GMT
I probably wouldn't care about the room sharing thing. My boys drag friends along on vacations and in turn are dragged along vacations with their friends. Granted, they were younger than 26, but I think the principal is the same.
Where I would have issues would be with the disappointment of having a mommy-son week changing to something else. Around the anxious household, we have always had mommy-son days, and they are incredibly special to me. Adding another person changes the dynamic of that and I would have to really decide what my expectations of that vacation are. If it is to give my son a fun time, then inviting a friend to tag along gives him the ability to have "young man fun." If it is that I want to spend special one on one time with my son, having a friend along changes my ability to do that.
So I guess my advice would be to figure out what you wanted from this vacation and go from there.
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,947 
Location: North Idaho
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Post by Nink on May 3, 2015 12:19:01 GMT
Nope. Wouldn't do it. If he could cover his own room, which I would expect, that's one thing. But definitely not if he'd have to crash in the same room as me.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 22:28:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2015 12:25:33 GMT
While it may be more fun at night for him to have his best bud to hang out with that also means a change in the daytime dynamic.... where does J go/do while son and I hang out? Or will they be out so late son isn't going to want to go do things with me? To me that is a bigger issue than the room issue which is a big issue too.
I think son and J can plan their own vacation some other time.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on May 3, 2015 12:28:41 GMT
I see no issue bringing the friend but as for the room situation- No. From your end and the friends end it would make me feel weird.
Good luck and enjoy your time!
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julieb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,845
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Post by julieb on May 3, 2015 12:32:37 GMT
I'm a "the more, the merrier" kind of person. If you like the young man and socializing isn't awkward, etc. then let him come. As far as the room, that is your comfort level. I would be fine with most of my son's friends sharing a room. You shower and get dressed in the bathroom and so do they. That simple. You don't spend much time in the room. The only thing I wouldn't like is a snorer. I already have one sleeping next to me.  |
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on May 3, 2015 12:45:14 GMT
I wouldn't. I hate sharing a bathroom with anyone! I also wouldn't want to share my son if the it was planned as a mom- son get away.
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Post by mom on May 3, 2015 12:56:07 GMT
nope. Since I am paying for vacation, I shouldn't have to be uncomfortable by sharing a room with someone I didn't invite.
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Post by Miss Ang on May 3, 2015 12:59:50 GMT
I would not want to share a room with the friend of my adult son.
Also, what type of vacation is this supposed to be? Is this a mother/son trip where you were planning to vacation together? Or are you just footing the bill and DS can do as he pleases; you're just roommates?
That would totally dictate how I reacted to the situation.
If this is a trip where you're just footing the bill, I would probably just give the room to my son and his friend and not go.
If this is a trip where you and your son were vacationing together, I would tell son that it's rather insensitive that he is asking to bring a buddy along and the answer is no. However, if he would rather vacation with his buddy instead of mom, then his "buddy" can foot the bill and you'll stay home and save the expense of the entire trip.
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Post by maryland on May 3, 2015 14:38:09 GMT
I wouldn't feel comfortable. And I can't imagine your son's friend feeling comfortable either. If it was your husband, maybe. I know my husband wouldn't feel comfortable staying with our daughter and her friend either (though 26 is a ways off for our oldest).
But everyone is different in comfort level. And they are both over 18, so no issues with him being underage. Hope that makes sense.
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Post by hollymolly on May 3, 2015 15:20:03 GMT
DS had a good idea how I'd feel about it, so he's fine with it just being us. His friend is going through a bit of a rough time and DS thought it might be nice to give him a vacation too. It's not really mommy-son bonding time because we live together and will for at least one more year while he finishes his degree and looks for a job. We go out to eat together at least once a week. We're plenty bonded. I don't mind J going at all, just don't feel comfortable sharing a room and doubt he would either. If they were even teenagers I'd be fine with it, but the dynamic changes when he's an adult, even if I am still just C's mom.
I wouldn't hesitate (well maybe a little) if we had a suite, but even the junior suite is out of my price range. A second room, even if we split the cost, would be more than any of us is prepared to spend. This is not a budget or even a moderate priced resort. It cost twice as many points per night as the Doubletree I stayed in down the street from the British Museum. I have enough points remaining that I could possibly upgrade to a junior suite without a beach view, but the beach view is the reason I splurged for a place on the beach. I'll be spending more time in the room than the average vacationer because I prefer my beach time from a balcony overlooking the water. Also I'll be working for part of the week, so I need to be close to my laptop and wifi.
I definitely want to go, so I'm not giving up my spot. If I just wanted to treat my boy to a vacation with his buddy, I'd gift them with a room at a Hampton off the beach. They could stay for a month on the points I'm using for our 5 nights.
So I'm not really looking for a solution. I'm happy with my decision, and DS is too.
I'm enjoying reading the different takes on this!
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Post by epeanymous on May 3, 2015 15:59:59 GMT
The room-sharing situation would definitely be outside of my comfort level. You are talking to someone who, on the rare occasion when I am supposed to share a hotel room at a work event, pays out of pocket to stay alone, however, so it is possible that I am an extreme case. This thread does seem to suggest otherwise, though.
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Post by chlerbie on May 3, 2015 19:14:23 GMT
I don't think I'd be comfortable, mainly because of their ages. I'm fine with sharing a room with friends or family members--I have with my brothers, dsd and sil, etc. But that would make me feel weird.
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