Need to vent about my XH...(long)

I'm still reading thru all of the responses. Again, I was in a similar situation (prob even worse--I'll explain privately). For those who say to get a Sheriff and get into the house, that didn't work for me, even though *I* was the sole owner of the house!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid ex changed all of the locks and he'd appear and convince the Sheriff that he was the one who legally had the rights to the house (he was/is a lawyer and has twisted everything around). I was beaten down, couldn't afford a good lawyer, and I lost out on everything. I didn't even have the strength to go and file papers on my own. Ex said he "lost" everything that I asked for and was agreed upon in our divorce papers. He reneged on just about everything in the papers! He even tried to stick me with joint taxes (when I was moved out!!!!!!!!!), and I had to get my own tax advocate (you can do that!) to fight for my rights. It's tough, but it could be done.

Also, beware that even years after you're divorced or separated, your ex could be a dick enough to have your SS# and *uck around with your credit. It happened to me! Worse yet, he did the same thing to our son. I think he just lost his mind!!! So, do a credit check, put a fraud alert on your credit file (I did!) so no one could play around with your personal information. Be aware of things before they happen. He sounds like he's in the dick category that my ex was/is in. (Not that I can blame him entirely--I was the one who "cheated" and wanted a divorce, but it ended way before that.)

Good luck. I pray you get some things back. But just as megmc said, your ex has a way to keep a wedge in that door. That is SO very true!!! My ex did the things he knew would get to me the most. That's his only tie to me. It's pretty sad!!! Many things I've just let go and just figured it was his twisted way of trying to still hold onto a part of me! Ugh.

  Unless there is a safety reason, I can't understand why you haven't taken possession of all the items that were important to you long before now.   It's been 7 years.

          I will add that he sold/destroyed the record player the minute he knew you wanted it.


You should have "taken care of business" yourself in 2008 or at the latest in 2011.

I agree. I seriously doubt the only way your ex is screwing you is over the record player. 

From the other side of the fence, my ex was the one who left me. I was devastated and it was a horrible time for me, yet I was the one who was forced to go through and divide up our stuff because I was the one in the house. He was off starting fresh in his new life without me, and I was left to dismantle our old life, the life I wanted to keep. It was emotional torture.

I worked hard to be fair, but my feeling was that if it was so damn important, he should have taken it with him. I was so full of pain and anger that I really just wanted to throw his stuff in the street, but I didn't. I resented that he still trusted me to be the bigger person and be responsible for keeping his family heirlooms and sentimental items until he came back for them. It broke my heart every time I came across another thing that belonged to him.

He got the house in the divorce, but I still had to go through every single thing in the house, the storage shed, and the attic to make sure I got my stuff. Of course he was not involved in the packing and dividing of things, he would barely speak to me during the divorce process. Other than the things he brought into the marriage, I had to make guesses as to which DVDs he would want to keep and which I could take, and how much kitchenware to leave, and if I should leave towels or trashcans or other stupid household items. It sucked. It really really sucked.

I took all of the Christmas stuff with me, because I cared more about that than he did, and he didn't bring any of that to the marriage. The first Christmas post-divorce I didn't even decorate (just moved, wasn't staying in town for the holidays anyway). The second Christmas I had moved again, but I decided it was time to decorate. When I opened the boxes, I found ornaments that I had bought at after Christmas sales a few months before he left and it broke me again knowing that when I bought those ornaments and packed them away, I expected to be putting them on a tree that we put up together. That was the frame of mind I was in when I ran across his grandmother's old ornaments. We hadn't spoken in nearly a year, he was clear about never wanting to talk to me again, and besides all that, the only reason we had his grandmother's ornaments was because I encouraged him to take them after she died. After having a good cry and getting it out of my system, I donated them to a local charity. I have zero regrets.

When I moved into my current house, I found one more thing of his mixed in with my stuff. It's a couple of 8 x 10 photos of him. I definitely want to give those back to him, but I just never got around to it. He's married again, so now I'm worried he or wife will think I'm trying to stir something up. I'm not, we haven't had any contact at all in years, but I know how he thinks. It could be 10 years without any contact, and he'd tell people I keep bugging him and won't let him move on.

You are still on those mortgage papers, you should be able to access. I don't understand why you thought he would let you in to get it after all the times he flaked.

She needs to be on the Deed to gain access. Being in the mortgage just means a person is liable for the loan, not the property.