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Post by anxiousmom on May 11, 2015 16:13:14 GMT
In honor of our new moms and our soon to be new moms- What is the best advice you got? Or the advice you pass on to new moms? Mine is: Never wake a sleeping baby. Don't be *too* quite while the baby is sleeping. Trust your mommy instincts and take all advice with a HUGE grain of salt. ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/Q_m8lDOvc_3Le3r1GKdf.jpg) What else would you share?
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calgal08
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,519
Jun 27, 2014 15:43:46 GMT
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Post by calgal08 on May 11, 2015 16:18:08 GMT
Life doesn't revolve around the baby. Still go about your regular routine.
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
Jun 26, 2014 12:25:29 GMT
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Post by oldcrow on May 11, 2015 16:19:55 GMT
When baby is sleeping that is your time to get some rest also.
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Post by myboysnme on May 11, 2015 16:21:18 GMT
Sleep is very important so sleep as often as you can. Sleep deprivation contributes to depression. Let everything else go when it comes to housework or anything else. You have plenty of time for all that. If the baby is sleeping, you sleep. If someone else can watch the baby, you sleep.
Secondly, accept any and all help. If your mom wants to help, or your MIL, accept it. You have plenty of time to bond with your baby when everyone gos home. If someone wants to bring a meal, do a load of laundry, watch the baby so you can sleep, let them.
Pay attention to milestones for your own baby and do not compare your child to any one else's or even your others. Every child is individual and starting out competing with others is fruitless. Your child walking at 9 months does not mean they are a genius or a future olympian, and a child who is still on the bottle at 2 or not potty trained by 3 does not mean they are destined to be falures in life.
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Post by leannec on May 11, 2015 16:21:26 GMT
My number one piece of advice would be to say that if breastfeeding doesn't work for you, don't feel guilty! I don't lactate at all and so I had to formula feed my dd's and they turned out just fine ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg) Everyone needs to do what works best for them and their baby! Number two would be to not get caught up in schedules ... kids will sleep in a stroller or a carseat just as easy as a crib so have a life ![:grin:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/TKS2q_7siLiFtq0xPQvx.jpg)
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,232
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on May 11, 2015 16:23:56 GMT
Teach your child to have good sleep habits. It will make your life so much easier.
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Post by pierkiss on May 11, 2015 16:25:26 GMT
That it is totally fine if breast feeding doesn't work. Formula is a wonderful thing. Breast feeding is honestly not worth the continued stress and frustration of trying over and over and over again. Bonding with the baby and growing to love it are far more important than where the food comes from. I got to the point where I was starting to resent and hate my infant because breast feeding just wasn't going well. I was so stressed md so upset all the time because my body just couldn't do what it was supposed to do. My husbnd finally had to tell me tht it we ok, and that I wasnt a failure. Formula was a godsend.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 8, 2024 17:07:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2015 16:28:19 GMT
Don't blink. Life goes by fast.
This too shall pass.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 8, 2024 17:07:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2015 16:30:37 GMT
Know the difference between REAL and CULTURAL folklore.
Follow your gut.
You will be ok without a shower for a couple of days. It sucks.
Your hair will be fine. You look beautiful.
You will lose the weight. Don't panic. It will happen.
If your baby is crying ( and crying and crying and won't stop no matter what you do, close the door, go outside and take some long deep breaths. You can't problem solve for your baby/child/offspring forever. Your peace of mind matters more than his/her temporary need.
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Post by bianca42 on May 11, 2015 16:32:20 GMT
Pick your battles. If he wants to wear a superman cape and rain boots to the grocery store, sometimes it's not worth the fight. (And it will give all the little old ladies who are shopping a little laugh.)
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Post by Dictionary on May 11, 2015 16:38:47 GMT
I was a pediatric advice nurse for 8 years and the number one thing I always told the new moms, use your common sense if you are putting a jacket on then your child is also going to need one, etc. And don't listen to everyone when seeking advice, it can often times be more stressful and confusing. I usually spent 20-30 min on the phone with these gals, being a new mom can be very stressful.
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luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,067
Jun 25, 2014 21:21:08 GMT
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Post by luckyexwife on May 11, 2015 16:56:00 GMT
If your DH does something differently than you, it does not mean it's wrong. As long as the end result is the same, and the baby is not in any danger, then let him do it.
The days are long, but the years are short. Enjoy the ride.
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Post by bc2ca on May 11, 2015 16:58:40 GMT
There is no one size fits all way to raise a baby - take all advise/suggestions with a grain of salt and try to figure out your baby's pattern and needs. I had one I could set a clock by for eating/napping & that slept through the night at 2 months and one that followed no regular pattern and didn't sleep more than 4 hours until a year old and wanted to nurse every 2 hours forever. The first was so easy I smugly thought it was because I did everything right and then #2 came along and taught me how wrong I was ![:wink:](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) . Don't expect to master breastfeeding in a week. Seek out a new mother/baby group. I had many friends that already had babies and were enormously helpful to me, but who I really enjoyed spending time with the first year of DD's life were the other 1st time new moms I met through a weekly group run by the public health nurses where we were living. This group also evolved into a co-op bablysitting group that was the hardest thing to leave behind when we moved.
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on May 11, 2015 16:59:26 GMT
Sleep is very important so sleep as often as you can. Sleep deprivation contributes to depression. Let everything else go when it comes to housework or anything else. You have plenty of time for all that. If the baby is sleeping, you sleep. If someone else can watch the baby, you sleep. Secondly, accept any and all help. If your mom wants to help, or your MIL, accept it. You have plenty of time to bond with your baby when everyone gos home. If someone wants to bring a meal, do a load of laundry, watch the baby so you can sleep, let them. Pay attention to milestones for your own baby and do not compare your child to any one else's or even your others. Every child is individual and starting out competing with others is fruitless. Your child walking at 9 months does not mean they are a genius or a future olympian, and a child who is still on the bottle at 2 or not potty trained by 3 does not mean they are destined to be falures in life.
All of these!!
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Post by birukitty on May 11, 2015 17:00:57 GMT
I agree with don't be too quiet around a baby that's sleeping. Don't tiptoe around a sleeping baby. We took it so far as being our regular noisy selves around our sleeping baby, and I'd even went so far as to vacuum the rooms and even DS's room and under his crib once he got used to that noise! I ended up with a kid that could sleep through anything and once he hit the college dorms he could sleep through any of the noise his roommates made-no problem with him-that kid could even sleep through an earthquake. Make life much easier. On him and us. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg) Debbie in MD.
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Post by epeanymous on May 11, 2015 17:01:08 GMT
1. Takeout meals are awesome for the first several weeks. Delivery is even better.
2. You aren't going to get those first few weeks of healing and bonding back. Do what is best for you and your spouse to make that time awesome. Everything and everyone else can wait.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
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Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,235
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on May 11, 2015 17:02:03 GMT
Enjoy every second!
Sleep when the baby sleeps, even if your house looks like a tornado hit and you have mountains of laundry.
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Post by gar on May 11, 2015 17:02:28 GMT
Learn about sleep. Read a book about sleep (there are plenty around) and understand the mechanics of it, what babies are capable of and when, what you can generally expect, how to avoid bad habits accidentally forming and so on. Of course, there are always some babies who don't like to follow the rules but if you can be aware of good sleep habits, things that will help and what to avoid, this issue which often disrupts parents's lives for so long can often be so much easier.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 8, 2024 17:07:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2015 17:03:18 GMT
People have been successfully raising babies for as long as people have existed. You can do it too. It's not easy, but it doesn't have to be that complicated either. Have confidence in your instincts.
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Post by bc2ca on May 11, 2015 17:04:33 GMT
If your DH does something differently than you, it does not mean it's wrong. As long as the end result is the same, and the baby is not in any danger, then let him do it. The days are long, but the years are short. Enjoy the ride.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 11, 2015 17:08:11 GMT
Get or make a 16-18 month calendar with boxes big enough to write in, and jot down when all of those baby milestones happen because you will probably forget. The reason why I say get one longer than a year is because several of DD's important milestones happened AFTER she turned one, and the first year calendar I had wouldn't accommodate that. ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/mYSUyHtG9Jrcmm_ydVcK.jpg) If you you can afford it, have at least one professional portrait session of your little one sometime in that first year if not more often. I cherish all of those pictures we had taken of our DD when she was little, and if my house was burning down that would be the one thing I would run back inside to get (other than people or pets, of course).
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Post by littlemama on May 11, 2015 17:22:52 GMT
Not advice that I got, but advice that I want to give - avoid parenting magazines. Really. Avoid them. When ds was born, he was in NICU for several days. Every parenting magazine talked about the importance of bonding in the first few days and how if you didn't have that bonding time, your child was destined to become a serial killer (not really, but you know what I mean). What a shitty thing to say. Plenty of us have kids who have spent time in NICU, that doesn't make us bad parents, and it doesn't mean we wont have close relationships with our children. Between that and the breastfeeding guilt, I was done with those magazines.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 8, 2024 17:07:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2015 17:36:03 GMT
Avoid taking your baby/toddler to the store at dinner time/nap time. Really, the other shoppers will thank you. A well-rested fed baby makes for an easier shopping trip.
And the advice to dress your baby accordingly is good.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,668
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on May 11, 2015 17:38:16 GMT
*Everything seems worse at night
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on May 11, 2015 17:41:44 GMT
Hug them tight.
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Post by creativegirl on May 11, 2015 17:45:55 GMT
Babies cry- they just do sometimes. It doesn't mean you're a bad mom or that you're doing anything wrong.
In that same vein, if you're doing the best you can, you're doing more than enough. No need to feel guilty that you can't be perfect all the time.
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Post by mikklynn on May 11, 2015 17:52:25 GMT
Some great advice here.
My advice has always been to listen, say thank you, then do whatever you think is right for your baby!
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Shel
Full Member
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Jul 16, 2014 0:32:12 GMT
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Post by Shel on May 11, 2015 17:52:54 GMT
Great advice so far!! I'm currently expecting #5 with a big gap between my last 2 so it feels like I'm starting over. My oldest is 16! Anyway I would add to cherish those middle of the night moments with your baby. I know a lot of moms may not agree with that :-) I loved those quiet moments with my baby- no phone, no DH or kids that needed me, no laundry, etc. just me and the baby. Those few months really do go by fast BUT you DO need to heed the advice to sleep at other times and accept help so that you really can cherish the 2 am feedings!
I would also echo not to stress if breastfeeding isn't working for you. My mom with my first said to give it 3 full weeks though and she was right. I would have quit 20 times those first couple of weeks! I nursed and bottle fed every one of my kids in the end....sometimes for convenience and sometimes for necessity. It's actually quite nice to be able to leave your baby with someone for a few hours (get a haircut, massage, lunch with a friend, or whatever) knowing that your baby will be fine and fed!
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Post by metaldancer on May 11, 2015 17:59:42 GMT
From my 88 year old Grandma: "You're going to get alot of advice, especially from little old women of which I am one. Just smile, say thank you...then do whatever you want to! It's YOUR baby. As long and you and his doctor are on the same page, you're going to be just fine!" Thank you, Grandma Eagle - I sure miss you!! (that was the only piece of advice she ever gave me!)
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
Jun 26, 2014 18:51:17 GMT
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Post by perumbula on May 11, 2015 18:08:19 GMT
Don't get caught in the gadget trap. There are very few baby items your baby needs. They need diapers. they need a place to sleep (whether it's with you are a crib), they need something to wear (but probably half as many clothes as you think they do.) They need a safe car seat. if you are bottle feeding they need those. Blankets are nice and so is a stroller. Everything else is extra. Babies don't need a ton of toys. They don't need the latest and greatest gadgets. They don't need custom nurseries. They don't need fancy things to help them sleep. They don't need 90% of the gadgets the stores and magazines tell you they need. They need you, food, clothing, and sleep. That's it.
If you can get some of the extras and make a pretty room, that's nice. Don't stress yourself out over it though. Don't go into debt for it. Don't drive your friends and families crazy begging or demanding the extra crap.
This goes for when you are on an outing with baby as well. Keep things simple. You aren't going on safari. You are taking baby on an outing. A bottle/nursing blanket, car seat, extra diapers and wipes, a change of clothes, and maybe a blanket, are pretty much all you need. I promise.
ETA: if you are taking baby for a walk in the middle of the summer DO NOT put the heaviest blanket baby owns over baby's car seat/stroller seat. Please. Yes, they need shaded from the sun, but that horrible heavy blanket will make them too hot. Use a lightweight blanket or cloth to shade baby, not something that is warm enough for the middle of winter. You've no idea how many young moms I see making that mistake in this area. it makes me want to go steal the blanket off the poor babies.
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