Deleted
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Apr 26, 2024 18:57:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2015 0:35:33 GMT
I work in an office with 3 other women full time and 3 other employees that are there periodically throughout the day. The negativity that flows through this office is thick and extremely burdening to me.
One employee in particular is so negative that should could depress a circus clown. She throws fits over everything and gets but hurt over every little perceived injustice weather it has anything to do with her directly or not.
I have had to put up with it for a few years and most recently for the last 6 months it has only got worse. Management will not do anything about it. Our supervisor has been on the receiving end of her tirades and nothing much was ever said. I have recently started looking for other work simply because I feel like I am drowning in my current job.
Yesterday and today I have found out some things that just puts me over the edge with her. I now know that she will go to no end to destroy anything and anyone around her. Including me and I have never even looked at her cross eyed.
With that said, I am thinking of speaking to my supervisor and asking to be transferred to our other office across town. I would be doing the same job just in a different building and would no longer be subjected to her tirades. The problem is if she found out that I asked for this, then I would become her number one target. She is one of those that will talk about and gossip about whoever is at the top of her list that day. And I do not want a confrontation with her because I know that once I get started, I will not be able to stop telling her exactly what I think about her.
In moving buildings I would be losing my own office and who knows if the other lady that works at the other building can be trusted either. I honestly do not feel like I trust anyone that I work with and that includes my supervisor.
So the question is, do I ask to be moved? I have tried in the past to disconnect with this person and distance myself by being in my office and not joining in on her witch hunts but she will not let people "not" listen to her. She will actually come into my office several times a day and list her grievances with everyone and everything. Short of me telling her to get the hell out of my office, I don't know what else to do that will be professional, tactful and not cause even more drama.
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Post by freecharlie on May 14, 2015 0:43:41 GMT
Ask for the transfer if you think it is available, but be prepared to not transfer and try to hold your own.
The next time she comes at you with negativity, walk away. Tell he you don't want to be involved, put headphones in, whateer.
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Post by scrappychick on May 14, 2015 0:46:13 GMT
This is definitely one of those situations where you have to put on the big girl panties. If you want to request a transfer, then do it. Who cares what the reaction will be? You're already in a terrible work environment. It really can't get much worse, can it? Tell them you are looking for a more positive work experience. Tell your witchy coworker that you simply do not have the time or the desire to engage.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,363
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on May 14, 2015 0:46:50 GMT
Headphones are your friend. That and simply telling her that you are too busy to talk. Keep repeating it as needed.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on May 14, 2015 0:56:03 GMT
Does your office have a door? Close it.
When she comes, tell her you don't have time to chat.
When she stays and talks, say " I am sorry you feel that way. " over and over. Nothing else. No mmmmhhhhh, no head shakes. Just look at her and say that. It usually works...
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on May 14, 2015 1:00:39 GMT
What are the other positives of the other office? I'd focus on those. Even if it is as simple as being .2 miles closer to the Starbucks. Leave out anything to do with her, the atmosphere, anything that can even sound like a negative thing. Then when the gossip starts it won't matter. How can you argue with positives.
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Post by NanaKate on May 14, 2015 1:18:48 GMT
I have no advice but I definitely feel your pain! Hope things improve for you soon, whatever you decide.
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Post by annabella on May 14, 2015 2:09:03 GMT
I would move, who cares if she talks about you? Would you ever see her again.
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Post by Really Red on May 14, 2015 2:23:23 GMT
I'd move. I'd also note all the times she came to complain to you. You may never have to do anything about it, but it's good to have. I can't believe no one else has complained about her!
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Post by scrapperal on May 14, 2015 2:29:17 GMT
What are the benefits of transferring and staying with the company vs. finding another job? If you don't trust anyone you work with, it sounds like a terrible place to work.
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,511 
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Post by bethany102399 on May 14, 2015 3:18:02 GMT
Do you work in my office? I have a very similar situation, with one key difference. Management rewards this person for their behavior. There are 5 of us in our little group, and are often targets of the Negative Nellie. Management is completely convinced of just about anything this person says. Doesn't' matter what we actually DO, it all comes down to what is said about us. I've been looking for another position for some time now, but it needs to be the right fit before I make the jump.
That being said, ask to make the move. Just know if you're denied this person will be gunning for you. Headphones and just trying to stay out of their orbit are your friend. Part of me honestly tries to have compassion for the fact that something damaged them in order to make them this nasty. People just don't act this way without something breaking them along the way. It's hard to keep that in mind when you're the target though.
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Post by mom on May 14, 2015 5:57:49 GMT
I would ask to be transferred and not mention the lousy work environment at your current place. Tell them you need to change things up to avoid getting in a work rut.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on May 14, 2015 11:29:06 GMT
My manager is dealing with someone like this. He closes his door and doesn't make himself available like he used to. This was such a noticeable change that HR actually talked to him to find out if everything was okay. Once he explained it, HR backed off and totally understood. It's an open secret that this person's days are numbered and that the company is just waiting for the person to hang themselves one more time with their archaic mentality that no longer fits in the company. It could be the same thing for you (though it doesn't really sound like it).
I'd tell her to get out of your office when she comes in to complain with a phrase like "unless you've got something to say related to a project we're working on (make it very specific), then I need to get back to work" and just go back to working on whatever it is you're working on. Close your door otherwise. And keep documenting and talking to your supervisor. Something has to stick.
And ask for the transfer, they don't have to know the real reason. Or at least she doesn't. And if she makes you a target between now and when you move, will you ever see her again?
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 14, 2015 12:18:23 GMT
Put a tape recorder on your desk and as soon as she enters press the button--making sure she sees you do it,
I have found just staring and blinking helps me!
I endured people like this, asked for a transfer (and got it) and mgmt finally saw their shenanigans!
I'm the kind of person that would take it up to a point, then tell the person exactly what I thought!
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on May 14, 2015 12:48:18 GMT
Ask for a transfer. then
Come up with a catch phrase and say it whenever she complains... something like..
Let's talk about it later when I am caught up.
Use it over and over and over.. she will eventually stop talking to you.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,151
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on May 14, 2015 13:33:30 GMT
Seems easy enough to me. You ask for the transfer and she likely won't speak to you after? Either way you win.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,599
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Post by SweetieBsMom on May 14, 2015 13:37:08 GMT
Ask for a transfer. Why does she have to know the reason why you transferred? I would hope your Manager wouldn't be telling people why you want to transfer. If anyone asks, say something like "it was time for a change". It's your business, not theirs.
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Post by mommaho on May 14, 2015 13:40:45 GMT
IF you feel a transfer is the only way to avoid her then that is your choice but I wouldn't give up my job/position because someone is being such a pain. Been there!
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 14, 2015 16:46:02 GMT
I would totally ask for the transfer. I'm not sure I would say why I wanted to transfer but I would take advantage of the opportunity if I had the chance to get away from someone like that. I also liked the tape recorder idea but I wouldn't tell her I was taping her. But I would keep it just in case she sets you up in a bad position and you need to defend yourself.
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,534
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Post by MerryMom on May 14, 2015 16:54:14 GMT
I also liked the tape recorder idea but I wouldn't tell her I was taping her. But I would keep it just in case she sets you up in a bad position and you need to defend yourself. You need to find out whether your state is a "one party consent rule" state or else you cannot use any tape-recorded information unless all the people being recorded are notified and consent. I am in a state with a "one party consent rule" which means as long as one person knows the conversation is being recorded, it is legal. For the OP, didn't you post last week that you had an interview already? |
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Post by Dictionary on May 14, 2015 17:02:44 GMT
Frankly why would you not want to transfer, it's obvious you are unhappy and life is too short to have to work in an unpleasant environment. I think I would have skipped the complaints to the supervisor and gone to HR. I would have said she is making a hostile work environment.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 26, 2024 18:57:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2015 17:21:14 GMT
I also liked the tape recorder idea but I wouldn't tell her I was taping her. But I would keep it just in case she sets you up in a bad position and you need to defend yourself. You need to find out whether your state is a "one party consent rule" state or else you cannot use any tape-recorded information unless all the people being recorded are notified and consent. I am in a state with a "one party consent rule" which means as long as one person knows the conversation is being recorded, it is legal. For the OP, didn't you post last week that you had an interview already? Yes, I had an interview on Friday, but found out yesterday that I did not get the job. I am bummed but I am moving on. I just need to learn how to survive this job until something else comes along. |
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Deleted
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Apr 26, 2024 18:57:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2015 17:36:06 GMT
I'd be very, very careful about doing things like recording without being absolutely certain about the legalities. Plus, I'd think very hard about antagonizing an already volatile person by making a point of "making sure she sees you do it," It just doesn't seem wise, or very mature, to deliberately provoke a person like the one being described.  I think gsquaredmom offered very good advice: Add in lots of headphone use (even if you don't have anything playing, she might not bug you as much if they're in/over your ears). I hope things improve for you. |
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 14, 2015 22:25:21 GMT
My tape recorder oust idea was to see if it made the person pause or stop before she even started her ranting lol! I wasn't even thinking along the lines of using it later! Ha! Good idea too!!!
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,375
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Post by cycworker on May 14, 2015 22:36:02 GMT
It's none of this person's business if you request a transfer & you should not have to worry about your supervisor telling anyone that you did so. They should cover for you & act as though they chose to move you because you were needed at the other location, if there are concerns re: how this person is going to behave.
You need to be firm with your supervisor(s)/HR and make it clear this individual is creating a hostile work environment & it's unacceptable that they aren't dealing with it.
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