anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 12, 2014 6:24:49 GMT
Undignified and cruel.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 12, 2014 11:30:25 GMT
I never did it.
I think it's utterly trashy, and speaks volumes about the person doing the smashing.
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Post by epeanymous on Jul 12, 2014 11:38:45 GMT
I have never seen a new spouse smash cake into their bride/groom's face. No, I wouldn't do that.
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Post by Heart on Jul 12, 2014 11:56:06 GMT
Wow. I feel like the biggest piece of trash ever.
My DH and I smashed (almost 24 years ago) and many of our recently married friends did as well. For my DH and I, our marriage is about LAUGHTER and having FUN. For us, this cake thing was the first thing after we got married that *we* were in control of, and we wanted to have a moment of levity with each other after the ceremony, dinner etc. It was fun, for us.
One of my favorite pictures from our teeny tiny trashy reception is me, full out laughing, as my DH is trying to "get" me with the cake. I evaded for a moment or two but eventually lost. I'm smiling now, remembering how nice it was to laugh -- with my husband -- for the first time.
I guess I never knew people judged me based on cake. =/
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Post by Miss Ang on Jul 12, 2014 12:49:19 GMT
We smashed (not terribly so, but we smashed cake). In 8 days we will celebrate out 23 year anniversary and to this day, it's something we would do. We're a couple of goofballs and just like good, goofy fun. I think it's perfectly fine that another couple doesn't want to do the smash, but there is nothing wrong with people that do, either. Not quite sure how the bride the OP mentions would be shocked and surprised that this is done and it does seem like something that should have been discussed beforehand.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,790
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Jul 12, 2014 13:11:56 GMT
Well, to each his/her own, and if both bride and groom are in agreement and find it hilariously funny, have at it. Your wedding, do what makes you happy. However, for me, not only no, but H*LL no! Fortunately this was not a "thing" when dh and I were married 42 years ago, but I have attended many weddings, both formal and completely informal, since then, and have not seen anyone do this. I find it trashy, distasteful, and can't imagine spending time and money to look just right on our special day just to end up with cake on my face, makeup smeared and frosting in my hair. Frankly, I would be furious, especially if I was not aware that this was going to be a part of my wedding celebration. Wonder how (and why) this got started?
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Post by Heidi on Jul 12, 2014 13:16:57 GMT
It's quite common here. But make room for me on the "it's tacky" bench. I hate to see it and definitely didn't do it.
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Post by liya on Jul 12, 2014 13:26:29 GMT
Add me to the hell no bench. Ex DH and I talked about it beforehand and we were in agreement not to smash. I didn't like the tradition. I also didn't do the bouquet/garter toss.
Warning: the snob in me is coming out---I had a black tie affair and wanted to keep it classy. LOL.
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Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Jul 12, 2014 13:45:44 GMT
I'd love to know if your cousin is still married to this guy.
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Post by ctpea on Jul 12, 2014 14:02:05 GMT
For us it was a no too but we played up jokingly for the pics.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Post by amandad74 on Jul 12, 2014 15:12:31 GMT
A no for us.
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~Susan~
Pearl Clutcher
You need to check your boobs, mine tried to kill me!!!
Posts: 3,259
Jul 6, 2014 17:25:32 GMT
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Post by ~Susan~ on Jul 12, 2014 15:24:33 GMT
I'm another that thinks it is rude and trashy. I told my DH if he did that to me, not only would he be wifeless, he would be severely injured
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donnatk
Junior Member
Saturday night!
Posts: 71
Location: New Hampshire
Jun 27, 2014 0:35:10 GMT
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Post by donnatk on Jul 12, 2014 15:32:15 GMT
My husband and I talked about it also before our wedding day. We have been married for 33 years, and even then I thought it was trashy, low class and disrespectful to do that to each other. I wanted to enjoy the cake that we had with my taste buds, not in my hair and dress! To each their own I guess.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 18:17:10 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2014 15:38:06 GMT
I'd never heard of it until I read it on the old board some time ago. Thank the lord it hasn't caught on here. I think it's a totally stupid idea and undignified/embarrassing to do so.
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Post by mcscrapper on Jul 12, 2014 16:07:39 GMT
My normally calm, cool and collected mother indignantly told my fiancé a few months before the wedding that the whole cake smash tackiness would not be tolerated at this wedding. I had to agree with her.
I told him that even joking around like he would was not acceptable either. I think it is such a tacky thing to do. I can't even call it a tradition because it is so stupid and tacky. Not even remotely cute or endearing.
meredith
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 12, 2014 16:13:22 GMT
I have seen this done at receptions, but I despise the practice. It seems so antithetical to what the day is all about. I agree. I'm also disgusted by guests that are encouraging it and egging it on.
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Post by Basket1lady on Jul 12, 2014 16:24:22 GMT
It was very much a tradition 24 years ago in MN. I discussed it with DH before the speeding and said NO. I'm just not that sort of person.
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Post by SockMonkey on Jul 12, 2014 17:10:44 GMT
Unless both parties are on board about it, it's a no-no. It's mean, really. And, after spending all that money on a dress, makeup, hair, do you REALLY want to jack it up for the rest of the night in all your photos? Dumb.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on Jul 12, 2014 17:14:08 GMT
Seeing your posts and seeing how many others disliked this tradition, I wondered where it came from... The best I found was this:
We have to believe that there was a time, somewhere in history, when the whole, "Will they/won't they smash cake in each other's faces!" scenario was actually clever and original (even if we couldn't find any evidence of it). What we did find was the granddaddy predecessor to cake-face-smashing: the breaking of baked goods over the bride's head. Customarily, the groom would gnaw off a bite of barley bread and then the remainder of the loaf was held above the newlywed bride's head and then broken, showering her with crumbs and a soul-crushing message of her husband's male dominance. Guests would then scramble to pick up any wayward crumbs off the floor as they were said to bring good ... wait for it ... luck!
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,247
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Jul 12, 2014 17:33:32 GMT
I've never liked this practice and I made my feelings really clear before our wedding. No cake smashing for us.
However, it's up to the bride and groom and if they BOTH are OK with it, then it's their choice and I can see where it's fun and playful to some people. But it's really distasteful when one does it against the wishes of the other; that seems to indicate a lack of respect and caring.
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Post by leannec on Jul 12, 2014 17:35:51 GMT
There was no way I would go for a "smash" and dh knew it Not only would I not want to mess up my makeup or dress I just don't understand the appeal
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Post by chaosisapony on Jul 12, 2014 18:38:20 GMT
For my DH and I, our marriage is about LAUGHTER and having FUN. For us, this cake thing was the first thing after we got married that *we* were in control of, and we wanted to have a moment of levity with each other after the ceremony, dinner etc. It was fun, for us. One of my favorite pictures from our teeny tiny trashy reception is me, full out laughing, as my DH is trying to "get" me with the cake. I evaded for a moment or two but eventually lost. I'm smiling now, remembering how nice it was to laugh -- with my husband -- for the first time. I have been to a lot of weddings (I primarily shoot weddings in my photo business) and some smash, some don't, some are playful with each other, some stare at me and wait for directions on what to do....everyone is different and the only thing "trashy" is if some one is uncomfortable with what is going on. I have seen the most tender looks exchanged between couples as they feed each other cake and I have seen riotous laughter and fun while they try to smash each other. One way is not better than the other. But *gasp* most weddings have money dances here too. Which, for the record, I do think is tacky. Personally I would not want to have cake smashed in my face and I wouldn't smash cake in my new husband's face. But I certainly don't judge those that choose to do it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 18:17:10 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2014 18:58:36 GMT
I've never actually seen it done at a wedding. If I wasn't a Pea, I'd also probably never have heard about it, so I don't think it's that common in all circles that both people in the couple would be aware it should be something that would be discussed beforehand.
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Post by cmpeter on Jul 12, 2014 21:43:13 GMT
No smashing here. We talked about it before though.
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Post by myboysnme on Jul 12, 2014 23:07:18 GMT
At our wedding, I asked my husband not to. Then I said, "Whatever you do to me I will do to you, so be nice." Then on the video you hear his family telling him to smash it in, and he listened to them instead of me. He hit my gag reflex and I choked and coughed for the next 30 minutes. My aunt who is a nurse helped me get it under control. Needless to say, he learned very quickly that listening to the family over me did not always work to his advantage, lol!
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Post by padresfan619 on Jul 12, 2014 23:28:28 GMT
We didn't smash, but my husband did purposely get a little frosting on the top of my lip so he could kiss it off.
I don't think cake smashing or dollar dances are trashy. I do think it is off putting when the cake smash is mean spirited or so OTT it ruins clothes or hair on the bride or groom.
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Post by gonewalkabout on Jul 13, 2014 0:04:11 GMT
I've found feeding or smashing cake into someone is an American thing. I'd never heard of it or seen it until after I was married and came to the US. it's just rude. I mean, the poor girl went to all the trouble of looking great on her wedding day, and that happens. Can't say I'd be too impressed. I agree, it's distasteful and trashy.
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