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Post by sues on May 25, 2015 12:56:21 GMT
I'm a moderator for a local recycling Yahoo group.
We had some big changes this week and we've had to update a bunch of our files, etc. Not a TON of messages sent in addition to our regular postings- just a few extra.
I got a message from a guy who accused the group of harassment...said he unsubscribed a year ago.
I messaged him back and said we had no indication of his unsubscription-he was still subscribed, the level of contact that was indicated, and what he needed to do to unsubscribe. No magic- just go to the 'my groups' page and click 'leave group'. (I also thought it was interesting that he hadn't complained before- he waited a year?)
He messaged to tell me I was a liar, that he unsubscribed 4 times, and he had proof- did I want to see the proof? He went on to call me some interesting names and tell me what a loser I am for running the recycling group. (Does he really think that's my job?)
Learning the ins and outs of moderating this group has been challenging. There was no training or advice. So- I did some poking around to see if there was anything I could find about unsubscribing errors/complaints. I couldn't find anything- but who knows what I might have missed. I e-mailed the guy back to say I was taking care of deleting him from the membership list- but please do send what he had re: his 4 attempts at unsubscribing.
After that- it was like all hell broke loose. He challenged me to meet him so he could 'take care' of my whiney, bitchy attitude. More name calling. He made vague threats about having 'connections' that could visit me to set me straight. How it's easy enough to find whatever you want to know about someone on the internet. This morning he sent me a screen shot of what appears to be my name/address/general age/husband's name ...from some internet directory.
I advised him that I was contacting the police department.
Not sure that it will matter to him.
I thought about leaving my post at the group- but that won't mean anything, since I deleted him. All it would mean is I won't have access to the records if something comes of this. So I'll stay until this blows over, but I won't post any offers anymore.
Here's the question...would you actually take the messages to the police?
That might sound like a dumb question- but I have no interest in wasting the PD's time or being laughed out of the building.
Part of me thinks this is all keyboard bravado- and he's looking for a scared reaction, but that's it.
But part of me thinks he crossed an important line ferreting out my address and sending it to me.
What are your thoughts?
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desertgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,646 
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Post by desertgirl on May 25, 2015 13:01:30 GMT
He has threatened you. Go to the PD.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,092
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on May 25, 2015 13:02:48 GMT
I would report it to the police.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 19:40:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2015 13:04:26 GMT
I would indeed, go to the police with this. He threatened you. He sounds unstable. It needs to be documented in case he escalates. Stay safe.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,408
Location: Dallas Texas
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Post by SabrinaP on May 25, 2015 13:05:12 GMT
Yes I absolutely would contact the police. Print everything off you have and go to the police department to file a complaint.
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Post by Miss Ang on May 25, 2015 13:06:05 GMT
Here's the question...would you actually take the messages to the police? Yes, I would. I would call the non-emergency number and ask to meet with an officer to file a harassment complaint and indicate that you're not sure if more needs to be/should be done. And you could be totally right; it may be someone being brave behind a keyboard. But what if it's not? And secondly, this jerk needs to know that this is NOT acceptable and he should have the consequences of having to face this situation; even if it is only embarrassment of the police contacting him to discuss it. |
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Post by Woobster on May 25, 2015 13:07:36 GMT
Whoa... This guy is getting that riled up over a recycling group? That's nuts.
I absolutely DO think he has crossed the line, but I also believe hat it's mostly keyboard bravado. I would probably keep a record of everything he sends you, and keep a very vigilant eye open around home for the next few days. If he continues to make threatening remarks, or if you see anyone suspicious around your home, I would absolutely call the non-emergency police number.
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Post by tinydogmafia on May 25, 2015 13:14:40 GMT
He threatened you, you advised him you would be contacting the police, now follow through. He's unstable enough that he googled your info and address. Absolutely I'd call the police and file a report. That way you're covered in case this guy comes by and eggs your house, slashes your tires or any other thing someone this crazy might do.
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Post by ljs1691 on May 25, 2015 13:17:02 GMT
Please file a report with the police. If it was threats to an anonymous person I would not worry but he obviously has your info. Don't take chances with this guy.
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Post by sues on May 25, 2015 13:18:01 GMT
This is all so annoying and stupid. Some guy on the computer gets off on threatening people and now I have to worry about my family, property, etc. I get so tired of people who start off with snark- and then get offended if you don't fall all over them to make nice. In one part of a message he told me to 'come to the house I OWN' so I could be set straight..and that he's 41 and has a Bachelor's degree- and what am I? Nothing but a hag that runs a recycling group. Sigh. Hag VOLUNTEER to you, mister. Get it right.  |
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 19:40:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2015 15:17:06 GMT
I'm not sure I'd go to the police, but if I did, I'd want them to be able to assure me they had enough to actually charge him with something and will be doing so, otherwise a visit or call from them might only exacerbate his anger and push him into action. An actual charge may do the same thing, so that's something to consider. You don't need to go to the police in order to "cover" yourself. You have the possible suspect information you need should anything happen in the future.
If I were you, I would treat him as if he was actually intent on doing me harm. I would make sure my family/friends knew about this. Give them all the info on this guy you have so they can be watchful, too. Leave the Yahoo group. I think the whole group should be disbanded because of this, but I think that will probably be seen as too extreme a measure. Create as much real and virtual distance between you and this guy as you possibly can.
Stay safe.
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,457
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on May 25, 2015 15:20:41 GMT
I would call the non-emergency number and at least file a report. This guy may not let it go.
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Post by christine58 on May 25, 2015 15:24:30 GMT
Any chance it's some dumbass kid in his house with access?? Yeah..he threatened you--call the police..
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 19:40:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2015 15:34:20 GMT
I'd go to the police.
Years ago, I ended up getting a restraining order on a relative of DH's ex. He (well, really she, via his account) was harassing us via ICQ (if that tells you how long ago this was).
It was a small town, but we got lucky and there was an officer there who was internet competent, and he took it even more seriously than we did. Although we were unable to get her included in the restraining order, since they used his account (on her computer and isp), the officer took it as far as he could, and the harassment did stop. He even went with us to court for the restraining order.
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Post by sues on May 25, 2015 16:17:54 GMT
I think it's an adult. The level of immaturity is astounding- but he doesn't sound like a teenager.
I'm really torn. On one hand- I think a visit from the police might be just what he needs. On the other hand- I'm worried that it might really aggravate him into acting later when he thinks things have died down. I'm hoping the fact that he thinks I already took it to the police is doing the job and this just fizzles out. No contact for several hours now- but then, it's a holiday.
The only thing I found by Googling myself, were quotes from newspaper articles and a link to my FB page. I made sure my FB page is locked down. I took down a bunch of information and hid a lot of other stuff. My page looks very generic right now. As soon as this passes, I will get out of the recycling thing. It will end the group, no doubt. The other moderator just isn't interested enough to keep up with it.
It's sad though- because it's been a great group. The losers were far outweighed by the good people.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on May 25, 2015 16:20:29 GMT
Yes I would contact the police.
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
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Post by M in Carolina on May 25, 2015 16:47:43 GMT
The police will take this very seriously. Especially because it's a man threating you as a woman.
Like my dad's leo friends always told me, we'd rather deal with a much more minor issue at the start than have to investigate after a woman gets hurt or killed.
It's best to consider this guy as a credible threat than take a chance.
The guy sounds seriously unhinged.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on May 25, 2015 19:52:33 GMT
He has threatened you. Go to the PD. I agree. And not only did he threaten you, but he showed you that he knows where to find you real-time and that he knows who you are. He sounds like a real nut. Please protect yourself. |
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Post by peasful1 on May 25, 2015 21:40:34 GMT
do you have screen shots of all of these exchanges?
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Post by sues on May 26, 2015 12:54:45 GMT
do you have screen shots of all of these exchanges? I saved everything. I haven't heard a word since the screen shot of my address, etc. That's somewhat of a relief. Maybe he realized he had ventured into dangerous territory. Or maybe he realizes if he could find me so easily- he can be found too (by police- not me). I hope so. This has been one of the weirder and scarier things that has ever happened to me re: the internet. My sister knows someone at our local PD. She's going to tell him everything and ask what the options are -so I'd know going in, what to expect. I don't even know what they'd call this or what my recourse is- filing a complaint (no contact with him, just establishing a paper trail) or incident report - or if the whole thing alarms them enough to say 'No- this is serious', requiring more. Cross your fingers for continued silence from this nutter. |
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Post by alittleintrepid on May 26, 2015 13:20:01 GMT
Finding your address and sending it to you is way over the line. I would file a complaint with the police....I'd be willing to bet that the police have heard his name before. I would let the police know your concern that contacting them could escalate his wacky behaviour.....they're used to proceeding under such circumstances.
It's disappointing that he can end your group. I wonder if you could have the other mod take on the unsubscribe requests (or something specific) that could allow you to continue?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 19:40:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2015 15:06:08 GMT
He has threatened you. Go to the PD.  |
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 19:40:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2015 15:12:45 GMT
do you have screen shots of all of these exchanges? I saved everything. I haven't heard a word since the screen shot of my address, etc. That's somewhat of a relief. Maybe he realized he had ventured into dangerous territory. Or maybe he realizes if he could find me so easily- he can be found too (by police- not me). I hope so. This has been one of the weirder and scarier things that has ever happened to me re: the internet. My sister knows someone at our local PD. She's going to tell him everything and ask what the options are -so I'd know going in, what to expect. I don't even know what they'd call this or what my recourse is- filing a complaint (no contact with him, just establishing a paper trail) or incident report - or if the whole thing alarms them enough to say 'No- this is serious', requiring more. Cross your fingers for continued silence from this nutter.Absolutely. Keep us updated when you can, ok? |
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,006
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Post by blue tulip on May 26, 2015 15:54:39 GMT
you told him you were going to the police. so if you now don't, and he never hears any reprimand or such from a police officer, he will think you complained and they didn't care. which might give him the belief that he's not doing anything wrong, and he'll keep doing it- if not to you, to someone else. so I would definitely follow thru with what you told him, and report it.
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Post by momof3pits on May 26, 2015 16:04:59 GMT
Wtaf?? Who acts that way over a recycling group? He deserves a visit from police.
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Post by lucyg on May 26, 2015 16:09:00 GMT
Yes, I would call the police.
But I would not be driven out of the recycling group, not if you still enjoy it, anyway. I would get a new email address and not attach my full name to it, and use that for the group instead. That would give you a greater measure of privacy going forward. The damage is already done with this guy, but he's out so the group should be "safe" again.
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
Posts: 3,082
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on May 26, 2015 16:15:03 GMT
To answer your question, yes, I'd be alarmed. I'd also file a police report. He sounds unstable. At this point it's unknown if he has a history of violence. I'm sure that you wouldn't want him coming after you or anyone in your family.
Also, you don't know if this an early indication of some mental instability that could lead to violence. It's better to report it and have it lead to nothing. If you don't report it and a year or two down the road his behavior escalates there won't be any record of his previous history. Mind you, I'm not saying that anything will happen in the future, but one never knows.
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on May 26, 2015 17:18:14 GMT
Since he threatened you, I probably would report it to the police. I don't know what they will do, but it sounds like you are dealing with a very unstable person and I would at the very least want the police to know about it. If he isn't harassing you, then who else is he harassing? People are crazy!
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Southern Side eyed Pea 
