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Post by nurseypants on May 25, 2015 17:45:16 GMT
You might be obsessive and over the top, but I kind of think that's ok. When I quit smoking I had to incorporate some very obsessive coping strategies into my routine for several months, until not smoking felt normal to me. It seems like that's what you're doing. These changes are still very new to you, and reinforcing new choices and changes with actual food might not be so bad. Btw I have not had even one puff of a cigarette for almost 15 years, so I think my strategies paid off!
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Post by crimsoncat05 on May 25, 2015 17:51:55 GMT
I think there's a bit of a difference, though, nurseypants, in that food is a part of life that is necessary.
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Post by karinms on May 25, 2015 17:53:39 GMT
I was you about 5 years ago. I started "boot camp" and running at about the same time and soon I started eating differently to move the results along faster. Within a year I was down to two meals a day, no sugar, no bread, no pop and by 18 months in my doctor was threatening to put me in the hospital if I didn't see a nutritionist immediately.
When I look at pics of that time, I look very muscular, but my face looked like I was very sick.
I guess what I'm saying is that it starts out rather innocently but can lead to a scary situation if you aren't making sure you listen to your own body and to other people (your husband, friends etc) when they show any concern that you are losing weight too quickly or losing too much.
Back to your original question, there is always a salad option. A little meat, lots of veggies or salad... and you'll be fine. There is nothing wrong with carrying a little emergency snack too though.
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happymomma
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Post by happymomma on May 25, 2015 18:01:13 GMT
I haven't read all the replies, but my opinion is... You are fine. I am the same way. If I eat poorly for even one day, I tend to 'fall off the wagon.' Consistency is what works well for ME. You do what works well for you and don't worry about what everyone else thinks. Congratulations.
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Post by nurseypants on May 25, 2015 18:07:05 GMT
I think there's a bit of a difference, though, nurseypants, in that food is a part of life that is necessary. I agree with you there. However, it is the habit-forming and breaking part of the equation that I'm thinking of, which I think may be independent of the substance. You do have to eat to live, but cutting out certain foods can sometimes have a withdrawal affect. Anyway, to me, it's ok for now. If her focus stays this sharp or becomes shaper, perhaps a closer look is warranted.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2015 18:11:34 GMT
I think you're setting yourself up for burnout. I think you need to incorporate some flexibility when it's called for. Also, I hate the term cheat day and in no way would go balls out on designated days. Sounds like sabotage to me.
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Post by padresfan619 on May 25, 2015 18:13:19 GMT
So I know it is a faux-pas to request special meals from the bride and groom, but since this is your brother-in-law do you think you would be willing to call and ask what they are serving? More than likely it is going to be chicken, beef, or fish with veggies if it is a plated meal or a buffet. You can still make good choices at a wedding.
Don't feel like you have to eat an entire piece of cake. Don't have more than the one glass of champagne for the toasts. I don't think you are unhealthy for trying to stay below a certain goal for your calories, but I think you should let go of the need to pack a meal to every event. I also don't think it is a bad thing to pack a small snack, I carry around an emergency granola bar in my purse most days.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2015 18:23:12 GMT
That is exactly what I did when I lost a lot of weight. I did wt. Watchers for several months and I never cheated or went off program once until I reached my goal.
It worked for me. Once. I have never been able to do it since then. If I went to the wedding with the intention of eating a small piece of cake or anything else off my program, I would lapse back into my sugar addition and gain everything back in a week.
So I don't find it obsessive or unusual at all. I would say you are on track to get to your goal and you should continue with what works for you. Food is my drug of choice and no one can really understand it unless they have "been there."
and congratulations!
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Post by Flowergirl on May 25, 2015 18:36:33 GMT
I log my food through the Lose It app to stay on track and my Fitbit activity is synced to that. If I know I have something special coming up, I bank calories for the week and up my activity. Then I can indulge a bit without falling off track. (I think WW points operate the same way, but I've never done WW so I'm not sure.) I also plan ahead a little if I can, like if we're going to a restaurant with a menu online, I might look at it ahead of time to see if there are healthy alternatives. I did that this week for MIL's bday dinner. But yesterday, we ended up at a place for dinner on the spur of the moment. I picked the the most appealing healthy thing on the menu. I may have gone over my target calories a bit, but I'm back to healthy choices today.
I get what you mean when you say you feel like you failed when you're not 100%, but I agree with others above that you need to figure out a way to eat that will lead to long term success. You will not always be able to plan ahead. One off day of eating won't make a difference physically if you're making good choices most of the time, but I do think you need to come up with a healthier way of dealing with it mentally.
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Post by lavawalker on May 25, 2015 18:42:19 GMT
I didn't read all the other posts, but i lost 47 lbs ten years ago by doing WW 6 day a week, and "going off plan" one day a week. By going off plan, I didn't pig out, I just ate reasonable portions of what I liked.
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Dalai Mama
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Post by Dalai Mama on May 25, 2015 18:46:13 GMT
It sounds like your goals right now are what mine were 5 months ago (and still are) - lose fat, build muscle - but your behaviour is disordered and I think you recognise that.
You don't need to plan food for your BIL's wedding. Go, have fun, don't overindulge but eat from the food that is offered. Use the tools that you've learned to this point and see how it goes. One day off the plan is not only okay, it's actually desirable.
And if you get on the scale the next day and you discover that you've gained a pound or two, you'll understand that it's water weight because there is no possible way that you over-ate by 3500 calories, right? Go right back to your plan and comfort yourself with the knowledge that the water weight will be gone in a few days without having to kill yourself at the gym.
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Kath
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Jun 26, 2014 12:15:31 GMT
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Post by Kath on May 25, 2015 22:17:12 GMT
I don't think you're being obsessive. I would say you're being dedicated, determined, and perseverant, which will eventually lead to your desired outcome.
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Post by FLA SummerBaby on May 25, 2015 23:59:54 GMT
About a month ago I would have said that you were being a bit overly restrictive. But I am currently in the midst of Whole 30 plan and I totally understand your anxiety about eating out anywhere that you have not prepared yourself. I agree that it sounds restrictive but the whole point of the particular plan I am doing is that it is an elimination plan for the full 30 days -- no "cheat days" and no splurging. Granted, if I knew I had a big event (like a family wedding) I would probably try to plan around that so I would not have to be so limited.
On the other hand, it is your life and you have decided to follow whatever plan you are on, so you don't have to make apologies to others about why you will or will not eat something. I was at a friend's get together yesterday and had been told that they would have food. Since they typically do cookouts (and it is a holiday weekend) I anticipated that there would be things that I could eat. I also brought fresh fruit salad to share with everyone. As it turned out, it was an all dessert food party -- so it turned out that the ONLY thing that I could eat was the fruit I brought. So I mostly ended up sitting there and talking with friends while they were eating cupcakes, pies, etc, etc. I just smiled and said no thanks.
So I think, do what works best for you as long as you don't put focus onto food instead of the people you are with.
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Post by scrappysurfer on May 26, 2015 0:02:46 GMT
I don't think you are being obsessive. You've done a great job and don't want to take step backwards, there's nothing wrong with that. Having said that, it sounds like you also need to learn how to adapt your habits. You won't always have the opportunity to plan ahead and bring your own food. Take this as a learning experience, choose your food and portions wisely, indulge in just a bit of cake, and most of all enjoy the party!
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Post by eebud on May 26, 2015 0:18:57 GMT
I think that for the wedding, you will probably have an option that will not be bad for your eating plan. Maybe you can have a chicken or fish option. I agree with others that you need to learn to adapt to the situation. However, I will also say that DH is probably one of the most disciplined people I know when it comes to eating. Due to some health issues, there are certain foods that he has pretty much cut from his diet such as red meat. In the last two years, I think he has had one bite of red meat and that was a tiny bit. Also, I disagree with those that say to eat cake because it is your BIL's wedding. You can skip the cake easily if you wish. I know for me, if I stay away from sweets, I lose the craving for sweets. As soon as I eat a "piece of cake", my cravings are back. If I had stayed away to begin with, I would have been fine. I have gone very long periods of time not eating sweets and it is no big deal. DH has never been a sweet eater. We have been married 25 years. In that time, he ate the bite of cake at the wedding I fed him and I think he has had 2 or 3 slim pieces of pecan pie over the years. That's it. He doesn't eat sweets. He passes on wedding cake if we are at a wedding. He doesn't eat birthday cake. It's not a big deal. So, I think you can make your eating habits work for the wedding day by the choices that you make and pass on the choices that you feel will sabotage you.
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Post by birukitty on May 26, 2015 1:11:55 GMT
I think you're being too restrictive and might possibly be setting yourself up for failure in the long run. The key to all of this in terms of learning to eat more healthy and long term weight loss (and keeping it off) is to learn to live in the "real world" and make the best eating choices for our bodies. Like someone else said you don't want to be dragging a cooler around to every social event for the rest of your life, do you?
I started eating more healthy about 3 years ago starting with no soda, then no fast food, less and then no processed foods and finally last year changed to a vegan diet. Once we (DH and I) changed to the vegan diet (no meat, no diary) we didn't avoid social gatherings like family birthday dinners or things like that. We also never brought our "own food". Personally I think that is rude, just my opinion, unless you have severe allergies. We just ate what we could and avoided the meat servings-simple to do and sometimes when that wasn't possible we ate meat for that night. It wasn't going to kill us, and if it made our hosts happy that was what was important. Like the night my German mother served imported German sausages and her homemade German potato salad for my birthday dinner this year. Incredibly delicious and it made my mother so happy.
As for your BIL's wedding I would eat smaller portions, avoid sauces and load up on vegetables, small portions of meat or fish. Have a very small portion of wedding cake to celebrate with the bride and groom and maybe a very small portion of champagne to toast the couple-you don't even have to drink the whole glass. Keep in mind if you've already RSVP'd your brother in law has already paid for your meal so arriving with your own meal would be very rude (in my eyes) when you don't really have to do that (at least I don't think so). Look at it this way, it's a lesson in learning how to eat in "in the real world" in a way that you'll still be able to continue to lose weight and keep it off.
Debbie in MD.
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Post by kelly316 on May 26, 2015 1:23:27 GMT
If you are anything like me, one day makes a huge difference! I feel terrible and/or I have the tendency to "fall off the wagon". It wouldn't be worth it for me. I don't think you're obsessing. If it's a matter of eating with everyone else, eat lightly and anything healthy. Take your regular snacks that can be transported easily and eat them when you can. I admire your willpower.
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Post by scrappychick on May 26, 2015 1:34:27 GMT
I do think you're being obsessive, and need to tone it down for special occasions. If you're in the wedding party, I can see packing a meal bar and a few veggies for the in between moments before the reception (maybe even pack enough for everyone-we all know it's all booze and no food! The bride and groom might really appreciate something in their stomachs). Once you get there, stick to the veggie tray, salad course and whatever lean protein they have to offer. Use this as an opportunity to practice how to eat for the long haul. You can skip the dessert, or chose to partake and then shake it on the dance floor for the rest of the night to burn off those calories!
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Post by annabella on May 26, 2015 1:42:00 GMT
You sound like someone who is competing in body building competitions that you have to obsess over every calorie. I totally understand what you did at the bbq, as a vegetarian I bring my own food otherwise there would only be chips and watermelon for me to eat. But at a wedding they could provide you with a healthy meal. So yes I think sitting at a formal dining table and not eating as others are is weird. But you are strong and it's working for you so congratulations on the weight loss.
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Post by alittleintrepid on May 26, 2015 3:31:58 GMT
What are you packing to eat discretely? I'm just trying to understand what you would pack that would be a better choice than what is typically offered at a wedding?
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gsquaredmom
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Post by gsquaredmom on May 26, 2015 5:19:40 GMT
I think if you are asking you may already know the answer.
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likescarrots
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Post by likescarrots on May 26, 2015 13:24:30 GMT
What are you packing to eat discretely? I'm just trying to understand what you would pack that would be a better choice than what is typically offered at a wedding? Since OP mentioned body building, I'm guessing some type of low fat, high protein meal like grilled or boiled chicken. My husband used to be good friends with a body builder, and he often carried a container of cooked chicken with him. Frankly I'm a little shocked that so many people think that most weddings serve healthy options. Most of the weddings I've been to have had relatively unhealthy food and mediocre at best. Not what i would want to waste a "cheat day" on.
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Post by alittleintrepid on May 26, 2015 13:36:54 GMT
What are you packing to eat discretely? I'm just trying to understand what you would pack that would be a better choice than what is typically offered at a wedding? Since OP mentioned body building, I'm guessing some type of low fat, high protein meal like grilled or boiled chicken. My husband used to be good friends with a body builder, and he often carried a container of cooked chicken with him. Frankly I'm a little shocked that so many people think that most weddings serve healthy options. Most of the weddings I've been to have had relatively unhealthy food and mediocre at best. Not what i would want to waste a "cheat day" on. I didn't notice a body building reference in the OP. If that's true, I'd be more inclined to eat the wedding food since the idea of keeping a cooler to keep the chicken from getting warm on a spring day sounds like a pain the ass frankly. I had visions of the OP eating Lara bars in the washroom. most weddings that I've been to have pretty generic offerings but there is usually salad, beef/chicken/ Fish, steamed veggies, pasta. I don't think that everything being served will be worthwhile but there is probably something to choose from. My bigger problem is that I always get so hungry at weddings because it is usually so long since I've eaten so I'd eat everything offered, including heavy sauces, deep fried appetizers, cake, and wash it down with a few glasses of wine. (Who am I kidding...I'd allow a cheat day for the wine alone if it was decent!)
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blue tulip
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Post by blue tulip on May 26, 2015 14:53:01 GMT
I think you need to build cheat days into your diet. It keeps you on the path of health much longer than if you just denied yourself. Yep. Stick to your healthy plan 90% of the time, but allow a cheat day every once in a while too. Some of the strictest diet people I know have one cheat day a week - these people are super healthy and unbelievably fit. Like, rock hard body fit. Since you are already eating healthy, a bite or two of cake won't hurt you. not only will it not hurt you, it can help you! when you are very restrictive with fat in your diet, your body can reach a point where it starts holding onto fat, thinking you are entering a time of hardship. when you have these cheat days, it's like telling your body that it's ok, there is no starvation times coming, no need to hold onto the fat. and it goes back to burning it.
this is why you can eat very healthy all week and not lose weight, but the day after you have some ice cream you lose 2-3 lbs. your body just got some relief.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2015 15:05:57 GMT
I haven't read all of the responses, and the ones I did read think you're over the top.
I don't agree - yet. You are still new to this lifestyle. It hasn't become second nature yet and you are still very legalistic about how you eat - no cheating, etc.. You are worried about slipping and going back to your old ways, thus the concern about upcoming events where you have less control.
Six weeks in, I think this is all entirely normal. With time, eating a healthier diet will become natural to you and you'll trust yourself to handle those kinds of situations appropriately. You won't have anxiety ahead of time because you'll know what you're going to do. You won't worry that one day of eating a few things that are outside of your new normal will send you back to your old ways. You'll know that the way you eat now is better for you and makes you feel better, so you'll want to stick with it and a small piece of wedding cake isn't going to derail you.
It takes time to find that balance - don't beat yourself up that you're not there yet. You will be. And for now, I don't think you have anything to worry about behaviorally.
If you were still this obsessive about it say, six MONTHS into a lifestyle change, well, that's different IMO.
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likescarrots
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Post by likescarrots on May 26, 2015 15:19:51 GMT
Yep. Stick to your healthy plan 90% of the time, but allow a cheat day every once in a while too. Some of the strictest diet people I know have one cheat day a week - these people are super healthy and unbelievably fit. Like, rock hard body fit. Since you are already eating healthy, a bite or two of cake won't hurt you. not only will it not hurt you, it can help you! when you are very restrictive with fat in your diet, your body can reach a point where it starts holding onto fat, thinking you are entering a time of hardship. when you have these cheat days, it's like telling your body that it's ok, there is no starvation times coming, no need to hold onto the fat. and it goes back to burning it.
this is why you can eat very healthy all week and not lose weight, but the day after you have some ice cream you lose 2-3 lbs. your body just got some relief.
Umm, you do realize that not all fats are created equal, right? Eating cake is in no way going to "help" anyone, in terms of their physical health. Add the unhealthy fats found in cake to the massive amounts of sugar, and i can't even imagine anyone trying to say that cake is in some way good for the body.
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blue tulip
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Post by blue tulip on May 26, 2015 16:26:40 GMT
not only will it not hurt you, it can help you! when you are very restrictive with fat in your diet, your body can reach a point where it starts holding onto fat, thinking you are entering a time of hardship. when you have these cheat days, it's like telling your body that it's ok, there is no starvation times coming, no need to hold onto the fat. and it goes back to burning it.
this is why you can eat very healthy all week and not lose weight, but the day after you have some ice cream you lose 2-3 lbs. your body just got some relief.
Umm, you do realize that not all fats are created equal, right? Eating cake is in no way going to "help" anyone, in terms of their physical health. Add the unhealthy fats found in cake to the massive amounts of sugar, and i can't even imagine anyone trying to say that cake is in some way good for the body. of course I do. but some fat is better than no fat, if that's what the OP has been doing. if she already has a good amount of healthy fats in her diet, then she might be good. just trying to point out that having some fats now and then, even if they are bad, is not a tragic thing.
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Dalai Mama
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Post by Dalai Mama on May 26, 2015 17:05:14 GMT
not only will it not hurt you, it can help you! when you are very restrictive with fat in your diet, your body can reach a point where it starts holding onto fat, thinking you are entering a time of hardship. when you have these cheat days, it's like telling your body that it's ok, there is no starvation times coming, no need to hold onto the fat. and it goes back to burning it.
this is why you can eat very healthy all week and not lose weight, but the day after you have some ice cream you lose 2-3 lbs. your body just got some relief.
Umm, you do realize that not all fats are created equal, right? Eating cake is in no way going to "help" anyone, in terms of their physical health. Add the unhealthy fats found in cake to the massive amounts of sugar, and i can't even imagine anyone trying to say that cake is in some way good for the body. There is nothing about cake that is intrinsically bad for your body. If I'm short on carbs and fat for the day, a small piece of cake is the perfect snack (or it would be if I actually liked cake). I don't categorize food as good or bad. If it fits my macros and I like the taste, I'll eat it.
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melissa
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Post by melissa on May 26, 2015 17:11:18 GMT
Is this a sit down affair at a catering hall?
If so, it is very simple to handle your eating needs. For ex, if the choices are chicken or salmon, you check the salmon on the response card. Once at the wedding, you ask a server, as early on as possible, if your piece of salmon can be prepared without sauces. It's not uncommon today for people to make such requests. At the last wedding I attended, when the server went around the table asking people "steak, chicken, fish or vegetarian," I asked how the chicken and fish were prepared and was offered the sauce on the side as a choice without my asking anything. She then asked if I preferred steamed veggies. Easy peasy... and left room for a few bites of dessert!
Obviously, you can easily not eat during a cocktail hour when hors d'oeuvres are passed. Have a nice glass of water, maybe with a fruit slice in it from the bar.
If this is a buffet, you'll have to ask questions and make your own decisions.
All this said... and with what the other refupeas have said... have you read about orthorexia? I am quite sure my mother-in-law has this and she has gone too far. As @blue tulip alluded to above, you do need some fat in your diet! In my mother-in-law's situation, she has cut nearly all fat from her diet. Over a period of time, this is more dangerous in a shorter time period than eating processed foods in the same period of time!!
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Post by scrapcat on May 26, 2015 18:53:36 GMT
I don't want to pass judgment because I think your intentions are good and the fact that it's working for you is great. However, if it's causing you anxiety, then that's not really a healthy lifestyle choice. Eating right is a lifestyle choice that becomes habit and should just allow you to go about your normal day. I can understand a BBQ, but a wedding should have some decent options? Can you opt for a vegetarian platter? Or just eat the salad, sides, such as roasted vegetables, any lean meat is fine, chicken or fish. If there is a sauce ask that they put it on the side or just don't include it on your platter? I eat healthy and I attend a lot of different functions, as well as traveling for work, and I can usually find something. Also, portion control comes into play, you can just make sure you are limiting portions even if the meal is large.
What type of diet plan are you following that it's hard to find choices?
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