Are my habits becoming unhealthy?

Sounds obsessive honestly.

I don't have a good answer for you because I don't know you. However, when I am trying to lose weight for something I will become very careful with what I eat. I guess you should see how you feel after the wedding and ask yourself if your habits are normal. Going to the gym and eating healthy are things most people would one to be doing if they aren't all ready. Just ask yourself if what you are doing is helping your body or hurting it. Good luck towards your goal.

Personally I don't think it's unhealthy. It's not like you're avoiding EATING, you're planning for eating healthy. It is REALLY hard to do that, especially when you're super busy.

On the outside it looks odd and obsessive. But...if you were vegetarian, vegan, had celliac (sp?) disease, or any other food allergy, no one would question you. So do whatever you feel comfortable with. If you're eating a healthy well balanced meal I don't see the problem. Iit wouldn't bother me if you came to my house or event and brought your own pre-made food.

I think it's great that you have started eating healthier and doing things that make you feel better (I need to do a little more of this, myself). However, there is going to come a point where you are going to have to find a way to take the things you are doing and use them in everyday situations. So maybe you don't eat everything on your plate at the wedding. No big deal. Maybe you could ask for an extra salad? And maybe you go to the BBQ and stick to eating fruits and veggies and the healthier things that are offered.

IMO, worrying now about what you are going to eat for a day, two weeks in advance, is a bit of a red flag (and I think that in asking this question, you realize that, yourself). I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to take some healthier snacks with you for the day, but again, allow yourself a little bit of wiggle room and just try to make healthier choices while you're there.

I don't mean to come off as hand-slappy at all. Congratulations on your weight loss... I don't care how you go about it, it isn't easy!

Oh, I also wanted to say that you can adjust your eating habits during the week of the wedding to accomadate eating a piece of wedding cake, for example. If you normally have a small treat, you can skip that for a few days or substitute with something like vegetable sticks. Then when you've had a piece of cake at the wedding, your weekly caloric goals are still on task.

I think what you need to do is plan ahead. What I would do if I was going out is check the menu for a restaurant and see what I could eat without blowing my healthy eating plan. That would mean ordering a steak and passing the potatoe but having double vegetables. Ordering a salad, having them add a chicken breast and bring the dressing on the side.

As for family dinners etc., I would make an eating plan for the day that would allow me to eat from what people were serving, or from the buffet.

I think you are over thinking it. And if you are eating clean and healthy and working out, one day where you deviate from the plan a bit isn't going to hurt you. The next day you just get right back to eating clean and healthy again.

I don't know that any of us can say with certainty that you're dipping into unhealthy territory but IMO, you have to build the ability to be flexible into your lifestyle. When you focus on changing your lifestyle vs. dieting, you can figure out how to incorporate special events into an eating plan without being so rigid that you have to take your own food everywhere. I ate cheesy french fries at the amusement park on Saturday and pierogies at a banquet that night. I logged what I ate and made up for it with a little extra exercise yesterday. Today is Memorial Day - I know we're going to have a bigger evening meal than usual so I made different choices for breakfast and lunch and took a bike ride to give myself some flexibility.

I spent YEARS being an all or nothing dieter, packing my own food and obsessing over holidays and special events. All that yo-yo got me was fat.

I don't think you have become obsessive, to be honest, this is the only way I can lose weight- an all or nothing approach. I know if I let myself slip it undermines the whole process for me. The answer really will come when you have become satisfied with the way you look- can you then move onto a healthy maintenance? I have found that scary and difficult the three times I have lost weight ( once post pregnancy and twice post extended steroid use.)

Personally a close family member wedding would be an exception for me however . I would just count down the time in my head to get back onto my healthy regime. One thing I will say- sometimes an extra calorie boost like this can kick start your weight loss again. I don't know why but this has happened to me several times.

You're acting more like you're on a diet than healthy eating you can stick with. Dieting doesn't work long term. The people that tend to be the healthiest without food issues are the ones that eat 90% clean and 10% treats, etc. but don't consider any food bad or "forbidden" 

there are some treats I stay away from just because I know I'll eat the whole box and not stop at one, but those are only a few items, and they're so unhealthy, even for a treat. --you know the ones you think you *have* to have but feel nasty after you eat. 

I would eat a bit of cake with everyone because cake at a wedding is about the camraderie and fellowship of supporting the bride and groom. Just like everyone drinks at the toast--you don't have to drink alcohol, but the toast is a ritual. 

Eating with others is more than just eating for sustenance. You can always make the best choices about what's available, but people really do notice when you pack your own food. It's also impolite to bring something when you don't have enough for everyone, unless there's a serious medical reason, like an allergy. --just because people with physical ailments are excused from doing what's considered polite when they physically can't. 

I'm not sure you are obsessive but you do need to build in a cheat day to stay the course. Enjoy the wedding just don't eat everything in sight.

I definitely don't have an eating disorder, but I'd start getting worried about functions that I'd have to eat in front of other people at, a week or two ahead of time. Stuff like lab luncheons, group outings, and conferences were especially worrisome for me. I understand that for other people being obsessive about food might not be healthy, but for me, it's the only way I can get and stay thin. I think I understand the OP's struggle.

it sounds obsessive to me as well, and honestly, trying to be that restrictive about your food is most likely setting you up for a major setback / fall off the wagon at some point. For want of a better way to say it, you need to be figuring out how to 'live in the world' with your food plan and healthy choices, not 'hiding from the world' by bringing your own 'special' food with you everywhere and refusing to participate in the food choices available.

It's your brother in law's wedding, for gosh sakes-- it's a special occasion! Do you really think there will be NOTHING there that can fit into your new, healthier way of eating? Will you refuse to even taste the wedding cake? You can eat healthy but still indulge occasionally (unless, of course, you have allergies, celiac disease, etc.) and your healthier lifestyle world will not fall apart.

ETA: you need to figure out NOW how you will manage this healthier way of eating once you hit whatever your goal is. If you are SO restrictive with your food now (I totally get that right now you're enjoying losing the weight)... but if you don't figure out a way to loosen up a bit, you will not be able to maintain it for the rest of your life. (ask me how I know this, lol.)

ETA 2: And don't call it a CHEAT day-- it's LIFE. Cheat has the connotation that enjoying a special day, meal, wedding cake, etc. is BAD and it's NOT. It's part of LIFE.