|
Post by Butterfly Momma on May 28, 2015 6:31:27 GMT
Also wanted to mention that this was about the age we started letting her listen to audio books from the library at bedtime after we finished reading together. She loved her "story tapes /CDs" and usually fell asleep halfway through one CD. You just have to carefully choose stories that are age appropriate and won't be scary. These days you can probably borrow via download from library. An audio book was going to be my suggestion. My 5 year old has gone through stages of being afraid and listening to an audio book helps a lot. he falls asleep to an audio book much quicker than if I read him to sleep. I do read a story to him at bedtime and if it seems that the night needs it, we turn on one of his favorite audio books. I hope you are able to figure out a solution ... sleep problems can be stressful for everyone in the home!
|
|
|
Post by stacmac on May 28, 2015 9:39:26 GMT
My daughter is about to turn 5. She's recently started being scared during the night and coming into our bedroom.
She has a large glow worm type toy that lights up and plays music. When she gets nervous in the night she turns it on and it distracts her enough to get back to sleep. Sometimes when I get up to my son I hear it playing and know that she's been awake. Even though we leave the hall light on,the extra light seems to help.
If it doesn't work she climbs in with us. I'm thinking of getting one of those roll out pads with the sleeping bag attached to go next to our bed for the bad nights.
Hope this phase passes quickly for you!
|
|
Nicole in TX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,951
Jun 26, 2014 2:00:21 GMT
|
Post by Nicole in TX on May 28, 2015 10:14:48 GMT
Something very similar happened to me as a kid. The fear is very legitimate.
I honestly would look into a few counseling sessions with her to help her understand her fear and distinguish between real and pretend.
|
|
|
Post by LavenderLayoutLady on May 28, 2015 10:49:26 GMT
With my little one, I just got into bed with her and read to her till she fell asleep. Usually 30 minutes and she was out. Good luck, momma. She needs all the loving you can give her This is what I do too. I would just rest with her until she dozed off.
|
|
|
Post by fruitysuet on May 28, 2015 11:49:15 GMT
My youngest dd slept in bed with me for years (she was about 12 by the time she started sleeping in her own bed through the night every night. DH had her bed. She does have some social/emotional/learning delay and suffered terribly from night terrors until she was about 6 which didn't help, then when she was 8 she had some night time seizures and was diagnosed with a rare epilepsy syndrome. I think I kept her in bed with me for a long time for my own peace of mind because of that so probably our scenario doesn't apply to many others.
I tried lots of different things, music and audio cd's, reading to her, starting off in her bed until she fell asleep, reward charts ... nothing worked and in the end both my husband and me were too exhausted with the disrupted nights that it benefited us all to 'give in'.
She is now 14 and won't even consider coming into our room any more.
I was never a leave them to cry parent either so I think parenting style will lead the way more in how you approach the situation.
|
|
AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,087
Jul 4, 2014 6:57:02 GMT
|
Post by AllieC on May 28, 2015 11:56:54 GMT
It sounds like she is genuinely frightened and I would be listening to that. You've had some great suggestions with the talking books etc and they are definitely worth a try.
My only dd is turning 18 in a few weeks and I am very conscious of just how precious time is when they are little. I always erred on the compassionate side and never regretted it. I would be lying down with her until she is asleep so that she feels that security. You may find that she falls asleep very quickly and when she feels secure she might grow out of it sooner than you think.
Sending you some hugs, it is hard dealing with stuff like this.
|
|
|
Post by ahiller on May 28, 2015 12:02:34 GMT
Thanks for the replies everyone. Lots to think about. When she woke up this morning, she curled in bed with me and we watched the episode and she laughed and laughed and thought it was so funny that she had been scared of what turned out to be a squirrel this whole time. We also talked about tonight and how we will leave the door open/hallway light on and find some music to play. And then I bribed her with a dollar for each night she goes to sleep. She loved that!
|
|
|
Post by ahiller on May 28, 2015 12:12:20 GMT
I usually do lay with her at naptime until she falls asleep (and I usually do too most of the time, lol). There are a variety of reasons why we are not really fans of doing it at nighttime, which I won't bore you with. If we can get her out of this stage without making it a habit of laying with her at night, we'd prefer that. I can totally get that and don't fault you at all for not wanting it become a habit with no foreseeable end. It exhausts the hell out of you. This is exactly what has been happening. We are all crabby and exhausted every night. I'll be honest and say that after being home alone with the kids for 12+ hours every day, by bedtime, I am usually done. Anyone who has been home with a 5 year old and 3 year old knows you don't get too much accomplished during the day. So I am staying up later and later to try and get my crap done after getting her to bed, which is making me crabbier and crabbier. Hell, there are some nights DH gets home so late that I don't see him because he is already asleep by the time I get her to fall asleep. It's just been a bad cycle and it's really affecting our whole household. Hopefully, we'll turn the page tonight and start fresh.
|
|
Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea # 418
Posts: 4,229
Jun 26, 2014 0:09:18 GMT
|
Post by Peamac on May 28, 2015 16:15:29 GMT
Now that you've watched the scary episode, maybe as you discuss it with DD you can draw a no-noggin on a piece of paper and have her add a silly looking head. Do that several times, with both of you adding things to make it look more silly and less scary. That may help the visual that she's retaining in her mind. Was Curious George a hero in that episode? Maybe you can find a small George for her to sleep with also.
|
|
|
Post by candleangie on May 30, 2015 16:58:48 GMT
I have a DD with some pretty major anxiety. (She's in high school now and medicated for it.)
When she was that age we found that the more we altered her normal routine, the more we confirmed in her head that she really did have something to worry about.
So we just kept to the normal bedtime routine. If she came out, the first time we would say..."That's silly! We're not afraid of pretend things, silly goose!" in the "silly goose" voice and put her back. The second time we told her, "no more. It's bedtime. It's okay if you can't fall asleep, but you have to stay in bed and rest your body." After that we just silently put her back each time.
It sucked the first couple of days. I was a VERY tired mommy. She was a VERY tired kiddo. But then it was done and over.
|
|
|
Post by anxiousmom on May 30, 2015 18:43:21 GMT
I had two kids with two different sleep issues. What worked for one, didn't work for the other. Drove me bat shit insane. The one that wouldn't go to bed alone got a lamp. He got to pick it out and it was a special 'night night' lamp. As long as he stayed in bed, he could leave the light on. He could read, or even play quietly, but he had to stay in bed. If he got up, then the light went out. It only took a couple of times of losing the light before he figured it out. Beyond that, it only took about a week before he didn't need the light anymore. He would look at his books or pokemon cards or whatever for about 10 minutes then turn the light off and go to sleep. I think it was the ability to control his own environment that made it work. The other one would go to sleep like a champ. I mean, I would put him to bed and in spite of sharing a room with the boy with the light, he would go right to sleep. But he would wake up and come in to me scared of whatever it was and look pitiful as could be. With him I let him crawl in bed with me. Some nights I even let him go to bed in my bed. He slept with me more often that not until he was about 10. I know that a lot of people are against co-sleeping, but both my boys did it when they were little (and obviously the younger for a lot longer than little) but it worked for us. Both kids are amazingly good at self-regulating their sleep habits even now as teenagers. They were not ever, by any standard of the definition, clingy kids. They were always incredibly independent. But as fruitysuet said, parenting style is very much at play on how you handle this one. My style is, and always has been, pretty loosey-goosey to some people. I am a bit on the free-range side and honestly, the co-sleeping fit right into that for me.
|
|