Grad thank you notes . . .

We don't have graduation parties where I live (I'm in Canada) but I've never heard of family and close family friends not recognizing it with a card or something.


We don't have parties anymore because we don't have a lot of family left- and those that are around make it clear they no longer want to come out for holidays or parties. (Sigh.) I don't have much contact with my brothers anymore- but we certainly have continued to send cards and gifts for the kids' accomplishments.
In the past few years there have been showers and weddings, graduations and the usual holidays and birthdays. I sent cards and gifts for everything. I have received one thank you note for a wedding gift (just a picture of the couple with a photo shopped 'Thank you!' message on the bottom. It wasn't even signed.) and one for a shower gift- where, weirdly, only part of the gift was acknowledged.
The rest- not a verbal thank you, an email, a FB message or- God forbid, a mailed note. I always had my kids sit down within the following week to write a thank you note if we haven't seen the gift giver to thank them in person. Especially if someone mailed the gift - jeez- let them know the gift arrived!

My dd is the youngest. Now that everyone else's kids have done everything- DD is starting to get ignored. One brother completely ignored her graduation this spring. Not a FB comment, a card, nothing. DD was at his house last weekend hanging out with my niece- and when niece mentioned DD's graduation- she got the stink eye from her mother. The subject was changed and that was the end of that. My husband's sister has apparently decided if there's no party- there's no gift. (WTH?) She stopped sending cards and gifts to DD this year.

I feel bad for DD. We do other things in place of a party. She understands we don't have much family left. But how do you explain aunts and uncles completely ignoring her birthday and graduation?

We've attend six graduation open houses so far this season (ds is going to a seventh this afternoon) and received three thank-you notes. I had to stop and think/count. I appreciate the thank-you notes and over the years have received some really delightful, personal notes, but I don't "keep score" of who did and did not send an acknowledgement.

Oldest ds graduated last year and did send personal thank-you notes to everyone within a few weeks of the event. I viewed this as payoff of years of ingraining the habit. Once they finally were comfortable crafting a short but meaningful message they did not mind writing the notes. LOL at the pp being thanked for the "donation." That is the kind of conversation we had a number of years ago -- how do you thank someone for a monetary gift without being tacky.

I do make sure supplies are available and if it is a long list, like for graduation, I print address labels since the information is all on my computer.

When I printed out labels for the announcements, I printed doubles since I was pretty sure everyone would send a gift (and if anyone didn't I was only out a label). So when it was time to send them the labels were all ready.

I blame her Mother!  I would make sure my child.. she's 18 so yes an adult but not a fully grown one.  Her mother, my former Sister in Law came and stayed the last week as well. She did at least send an email upon return thanking me.  

I sent cards with some cash to my ex's nieces. He later told me thank you from the girls. A month later, I got a thank you note from one. She spelled my new last name wrong. Considering I don't see them, I'm not bothered. In two years, when ex's nephew graduates, I'll send a card with some cash.