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Post by missysauter on Jun 4, 2015 17:01:17 GMT
My wonderful dad passed away on May 18. I received flowers from my office and I know that I will be sending a thank you note for the kind gesture. Do I do the same for sympathy cards? Some are very heartfelt with extra writing to me, while others are very simply put. I don't know what I should do. For those of you who have lost someone close, my heart goes out to you. My dad was a remarkable dad and I can't begin to tell you how very much I miss him.
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 4, 2015 17:03:25 GMT
The old etiquette was to send a thank you for every card. I think that's a bit much and I don't know anyone who does that.
When FIL passed away, DH and I did send thank you notes to those who wrote special, personal messages to us.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
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Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Peamac on Jun 4, 2015 17:21:20 GMT
I don't think I've ever received a thank you note for a card. I certainly would not expect one, and I'm usually very careful to write thank yous for everything. I can understand sending one to someone close to you that also wrote a personal note, but that's up to you.
(((Hugs!)))
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 15:26:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2015 17:25:46 GMT
Do what feels right to you. I don't think anyone expects a thank you for a card. If you *want* to send them and have the time and it feels good to do it, then do it. NO ONE is going to be bothered if you don't, so put no pressure on yourself.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jun 4, 2015 17:26:35 GMT
I am very, very sorry for your loss.
There is no obligation to write thank you cards for sympathy cards/gestures.
It's not wrong to write them, but everyone is understanding. When people send sympathy cards, they are trying to reach out to you, to comfort you, to let you know you are not alone. There is no expectation of anything in return.
(((hugs)))
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Post by mrgiedrnkr on Jun 4, 2015 17:34:16 GMT
I only send them for flowers or monetary gifts. I don't think anyone expects them for cards. If there was someone who was especially there for me, I might send them a card thanking them for their support.
Stacy
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Post by bbkeef on Jun 4, 2015 18:33:31 GMT
I am from a town where it is common to take an ad out in the local paper that is a general thank you to all those that sent a card, told a story, bought flowers, made food, and to thank specific people like the priest or caregivers. Some people also attach a photo of the loved one. I purchased an ad when my dad passed. It would be way too hard to thank everyone, and frankly I am sure you are still exhausted from the funeral, taking care of the estate, etc. This is one time where I think most people give you a pass if you forget to thank someone (at least I hope so!).
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Post by mirabelleswalker on Jun 4, 2015 18:35:57 GMT
Crane's makes a card that says something to the effect of, "The family of ____________ thanks you for your expression of sympathy." You can write a longer note inside if you wish or leave it at that. We've always sent them to everyone who sent anything.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 15:26:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2015 18:36:46 GMT
No. Not for a card.
If the person wrote an especially touching message inside you might mention how much it meant to you next time you see them in person.
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Post by lancermom on Jun 4, 2015 18:40:25 GMT
It is a hit or miss here. I actually drove two hours to attend a visitation, there about one hour. It was a last minute decision. The family sent a thank you. There have been times I sent flowers and no thank you. Not sure what I would do. It has been 20 years since the last close family member has passed.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
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Post by georgiapea on Jun 4, 2015 18:45:34 GMT
I received a thank you text for the last sympathy card I sent.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 4, 2015 18:47:03 GMT
The old etiquette was to send a thank you for every card. I think that's a bit much and I don't know anyone who does that.When FIL passed away, DH and I did send thank you notes to those who wrote special, personal messages to us. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. When my MIL passed away, I sent out a thank you for every plant, arrangement, card, food gift, donation and even to the people who came to the funeral and signed the guest book. Then seven weeks later when my mom passed away I did it all over again. I was so overwhelmed and touched by the outpouring of sympathy for our family that it was the least I could do to let them know how much I/we appreciated those gestures of love for us both large and small. It might have been overkill but I really felt for me that it was something I needed to do. Missy, I am so sorry for your loss. |
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Post by anniefb on Jun 4, 2015 18:54:05 GMT
When my Mum passed away 3 1/2 years ago I sent a few thank you cards to my Mum's close friends who wrote more personalised messages or shared special memories etc - where I felt some sort of acknowledgment was appropriate.
ETA I also sent thank yous for flowers.
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Post by lucyg on Jun 4, 2015 19:13:26 GMT
I agree with mikklynn. Traditionally, you were supposed to send a thank you for every card you received. You can still do that if you like, but personally, I think it's overkill. I do send thank-yous to anyone who does anything beyond sending a basic card or showing up at the funeral. Bringing food, writing a card/letter that makes me cry, sending flowers, making a charitable donation ... all get a personal thank you. Although it may take me months or years to get to them all.  ETA and geesh! I'm sorry for your loss. Sorry I didn't say that first. |
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 4, 2015 19:34:34 GMT
I am sorry for your loss.
I personally don't feel that I need a thank you card for anything I have done for a person who experienced a loss.
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*Marjorie*
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Post by *Marjorie* on Jun 5, 2015 0:59:16 GMT
My husband passed away in august. We printed out thank you cards and handed it those out to each person giving a sympathy card. For those who sent cards through the mail I mailed out the thank you card. This is the normal for where I live.
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Post by gramasue on Jun 5, 2015 1:30:56 GMT
I am so sorry that you have lost your wonderful Dad. It's so hard to know what to do, especially when you are dealing with grief. I think you should use your own judgement on this, but normally, a sympathy card requires no thank you card in return. If it involves a special, personal message and you feel like you would like to respond, then definitely do, but don't feel obligated to send thank you cards for anything other than flowers and donations to charities of your choice, or to anyone who perhaps did something extra special to help you through this personal loss and difficult time.
I'm sending my sympathy to you and hope you are doing okay during this sad time. May his memory live on in your heart.
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akathy
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Post by akathy on Jun 5, 2015 3:14:04 GMT
I only send them for flowers or monetary gifts. I don't think anyone expects them for cards. If there was someone who was especially there for me, I might send them a card thanking them for their support. Stacy  |
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AllieC
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Post by AllieC on Jun 5, 2015 5:15:34 GMT
No matter whether I send a card or flowers or make food etc, I never expect a personal thanks. I think that people who have lost loved ones should not have to feel obligated when they are already dealing with so much. It actually distresses me a bit to think that people feel like they have this obligation.
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Post by littlemama on Jun 5, 2015 11:16:49 GMT
When my father in law passed away, i sent thank you notes to anyone who did something "extra"- sent flowers, gave a donation to the charity selected, gave money for the family, gave a memento. I left my bils and their wives in charge of doing the same for the people they knew who gave flowers or donated food for the luncheon(i signed the thank you cards, all they had to do was address them and add a personal note if they chose) . I can guarantee that those notes were never done.
For cards, i would only send a thank you for ones that stood out- shared a memory, wrote something particularly helpful, etc. For attending, no thank yous- there were around 150-200 people there, we would still be writing them!
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Post by Scrapbrat on Jun 6, 2015 13:46:14 GMT
I'm so sorry about your dad. I think a thank you note is appropriate for any gifts or cards that contained gifts or cash, but I don't think you have to acknowledge every single card unless you want to.
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