Guests, like fish, begin to smell...

It's hard being the parent/ grandparent who travels to see family, particularly if it's a long distance and you want to get the most of the visit. I understand and I know we try to do things by ourselves to give family a break from us when we visit. We have even stayed in a hotel for a night or two to break up our stay. But if I am traveling to kids' houses without DH I don't always have a car so not much alone time.

We've learned 3 nights is usually just right.

I can't totally understand as my parents live nearby. But I am an extreme introvert, my mother is an extrovert and we have a small house. I can only imagine how miserable I would be if they lived far away and came and stayed with us. Happy to see them of course but I can't spend 24/7 with anyone besides dh and dd and even then, there gets to be a point where if they don't get out of the house and let me have some alone time, I will lose it.

My MIL comes for 12 days at a time. I have offered many times to fly her info a long weekend- the boys would love to see her more often- rather than a longer timeframe. "It's just not worth it to stay just for 3-4 days," is the response we get.

But at the same time, her husband is 84, and doesn't like for her to be gone two weeks at a time. So, she comes and goes when she wants. It's about once a year.

I feel your pain. My in laws always come for at least a week, sometimes as long as 3. We could never ask them to stay in a hotel. It's a very long time, in a very small house, usually dh and I put them in our room and we are on an air mattress in the living room. We homeschool, and it disrupts our school time terribly, I long ago gave up even trying to get school done as usual while they are here.

I could never say anything to dh about it though, so it is what it is.

I don't do well with house guests. I generally grit my teeth and push through. Dh is retiring from the military and has accepted a job in our home state. I've told him my number one requirement in a home is far enough away from family they have to call before coming, but close enough there is no reason they stay the night. So >50, <100 miles.

I like my family, but I don't like including them in my routine.

Oh God, I sure hope my DD doesn't feel like this when I visit her! 

We are sort of looking for a larger house to accommodate guests, but you guys are making me rethink this plan.

We like to have our sons visit together, as neither is in a relationship and it's fun to have the four of us together. However, in the winter, after four days, I'm done. I love them to pieces but please, get out of my house. It sounds awful but I also know our older son is feeling the same. So I'm very aware of how long we stay with others.

I hear you!! My sister has just left after spending 6 nights with us. She is usually here for about that time once or twice a year.

She and I are chalk and cheese. We could not be more different and she is a lot older than me. She has been staying with us like this for maybe 20 years or so and it always used to be a "grit my teeth time" even though she is a lovely woman and I have no reason whatsoever to feel like that.

It dawned on me only a few visits ago that the problem wasn't her, or any other house guest on the whole, it was me. I, too, as some have already said, am an extreme introvert. I work with the public and when I'm at home I don't want to see or speak to anyone! To have someone in the house when I need to be by myself is incredibly draining and I used to be exhausted at the end of the visit.

When I realised that it was my problem and not hers, I became more relaxed about it all and she must have sensed a change in me as she has been more relaxed too. Unfortunately we have never had the type of relationship where I could have said anything to her about how I felt and I really think it would have been unkind of me to say so anyway.

Neither of us drive and public transport is almost non-existent so we are pretty much stuck in the house other than the odd trip out with DH. After 20 years of visits we have done all the tourist sights multiple times. My two little granddaughters provide a lot of entertainment and that helps enormously. You've nearly made it, tuesdaysgone!

My father always said guests and fish stink after three days. Love it. After my parents both passed away, the only guests we have had for 15 years have been my in laws. Ugh. Like most of you have said, they aren't bad people, it is just too much together time for someone you don't necessarily want to spend more than one evening with. My MIL used to come out for 10-14 days and I was done. She doesn't talk to me; her son is her favorite and I am clearly the thing she must be nice to in order to get to him. He daughters don't understand why we don't click. Ugh, ladies, check out your spouses, they don't want to spend time with her either. She only wants to sit and talk, listen to awful screeching Christmas music, and play games. I hate most games and Christmas music because of her. I continue to try and be polite, but I do my own thing and my husband doesn't get angry anymore. It is what it is.

I have about a three night shelf life for guests, and I absolutely hate staying in other peoples homes. We have a summer/retirement home and we do entertain and host guests there quite often but usually just in four-day chunks, lol.

Nah, I think we're the exception Kathy.

I almost thought eebud was my sister. Until she said her dad was mellowing out. My dad is ramping it up and I'd just as soon he not visit us.

I think the more introverted a person is the less they like having guests. For me, the perfect fantasy is a house that only I live in. My DH and kids can live next door and I'll visit often. But I want somewhere I can go and it's just me and no noise or smells that I don't create myself.