LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939 
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
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Post by LeaP on Jun 6, 2015 20:08:17 GMT
We moved last summer. My 11 year old is attending a very small school, 300 kids K-7. Most, all but one, of the kids in her grade (6) have attended the school for years, so it was hard to make friends.
The girl to whom she is closest, has taken several make-up items from my daughter. It is nothing particularly valuable, but it does bother my daughter.
I'm not sure how to handle the situation. Part of me thinks I should do nothing, but if it was my kid I would want to know. Please enlighten me as to the best course of action.
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,971
Location: NW PA
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Post by Judy26 on Jun 6, 2015 20:10:59 GMT
Anyone who would steal from you is not your friend. It may be time for DD to rethink the friendship. I think I would have a discussion with DD and let her decide how to handle this.
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 6, 2015 20:11:16 GMT
My DS was the one who would steal things at that age. I had no idea until a neighbor called and told me. I really appreciated that he had the courage to talk to me.
You'll have to be prepared for the "my child would never..." response. But, the other mom might appreciate it, as I did.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Jun 6, 2015 20:19:58 GMT
An 11 year old? I'd probably sit the child down and calmly and gently explain to her that you know she is stealing and that you don't tolerate that behavior at your house. I'd tell her I was calling her parents and then I would.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
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Post by scrapaddie on Jun 6, 2015 20:27:23 GMT
11 year olds with several makeup items??? I am hoping you are talking about things like lip glosses!! It is difficult and it may not help, but the parents should know
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Post by birdy on Jun 6, 2015 20:32:24 GMT
DD's friend (and our neighbor) was stealing clothes from DD when she'd sleep over. We discovered it one day when I picked the kids up for school and she was wearing one of DD's tops. I had my suspicions before that, but it was the proof I needed. DH and I went to the mom and talked to her. We were afraid she'd be the "not my kid" type, but she apologized to us, made the girl return everything and apologize to us.
They are still friends, but only play outside / in common areas of the home where I can watch, and no more sleep overs.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
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Post by LeaP on Jun 6, 2015 20:36:36 GMT
Thanks for the advice! She has an older sister so she has hand-me down stuff that her YouTube addicted sister has cast off. The items taken are Babylips lipgloss, an Elf eyeliner and Taylor Swift pharmacy perfume. I'm of the mind that everybody makes "mistakes" and that at age 11 one should still be able to learn from her misdeeds. This child rearing stuff is hard!
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Post by librarylady on Jun 7, 2015 2:53:54 GMT
I had to talk to a mother when the child took some of my son's toys. I dreaded it...But, as soon as I said why I was there, the mom looked at daughter, and said, "Go get it!" apparently the child had a problem..
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Post by gryroagain on Jun 7, 2015 5:07:52 GMT
My youngest had a friend who took things once. She took her favorite pair of shoes, a hand me down pair of ridiculous brown high heeled sandals (DD and this girl were 8 at the time, but DD loved those dumb shoes). It was a problem for this girl, and the mom was aware. We tried not to take it personally, and always calmly just went and asked for the things back. The mom would punish her, grounding usually, and eventually, she stopped. It was kind of like a crow and a shiny thing- she couldn't help herself almost, nor really explain why she did it.
DD just turned 14, and this girl is 13, and they recently moved to where we live, and we all laugh about those stupid shoes.
Talk to her mom, she may not be surprised and should address it with the girl. It doesn't have to end the friendship, but it does need to be co fronted and addressed. Kids are weird.
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