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Post by chaosisapony on Jul 13, 2014 17:20:07 GMT
I always love reading the various "Is this tacky?" threads. I was so excited to see some tacky action on my Facebook feed this morning. It started about a week ago. The girl was posting up an invitation for her son's first birthday party. It reads "Celebrate Xs 1st birthday with us! Feel free to bring something to share; there will be CAKE! I hope you can join us!" (I've omitted the address and other personal details). This was not put in a Facebook event, just as a post she put out there. I raised my eyebrows at the "Feel free to bring something to share" and thought fondly of the Peas. By the middle of the week no one had responded to her post so she reposted it one more time. Then again the night before the party. Now, this morning, when the party is supposed to be taking place this afternoon we get this "CANCELLED. No party now. Sorry for any inconvenience. If you have a gift that you would still like to give, text me." I about burst into laughter. No party because I couldn't get people to bring food but please still feel free to drop off gifts.  |
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Post by Miss Ang on Jul 13, 2014 17:28:22 GMT
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Post by KikiPea on Jul 13, 2014 17:33:26 GMT
Another Pea staple...Wow. Just Wow. LOL
Tacky, tacky, tacky!
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Post by bluepoprocks on Jul 13, 2014 17:33:58 GMT
I feel a little bad for her. She was probably really excited about her kids first bday then found out none of her friends cared. It was a lousy invite but still I feel bad for her.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 13, 2014 17:34:10 GMT
I hope that mom figures it out before the poor kid is old enough to mind not having a party.
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Post by transprntbutterfly on Jul 13, 2014 17:43:12 GMT
Wow.
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 13, 2014 17:43:42 GMT
I make an event in our family group like that. I'd also do it for friends, Of course, I provide the meal and cake and ice cream and only respond to "can I bring anything" We are a very informal group, though.
Maybe she didn't know how to create an event?
The cancelled and text me with gifts, is completely tacky
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Post by Merge on Jul 13, 2014 17:45:55 GMT
Would the invitation have been OK if she had left off the part about bringing something to share and just invited people for cake?
I don't know; I have a hard time crucifying people for what is probably just youthful inexperience and further, with punishing a child for the parents' behavior. No one could be bothered to attend that child's party because its mother suggested you show up with a bag of chips to share? That's the hill to die on?
I rather hope her friends develop some empathy before the kid gets old enough to not care about having a party.
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pennyring
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Location: Rite Aid
Jul 13, 2014 15:37:45 GMT
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Post by pennyring on Jul 13, 2014 17:52:25 GMT
Bummer. Sounds like someone needs to teach her how to create an Event and properly invite people to it... if you just post a status update (which sounds like that's what she did), it's totally going to get lost.
Typically, I invite people to my event and THEN they offer to bring something, and THEN I say, "That would be great!" Maybe it's different in her social circle? Or maybe she's totally clueles..
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,274 
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Post by iowgirl on Jul 13, 2014 18:01:24 GMT
I agree about the youthful inexperience. Our group of friends love to have potlucks. It can get to be a huge group of people at these.. and gasp... sometimes they are held in ... GARAGES! LOL. We used to do this quite a bit when everyone had young kids and not a ton of money. It was a fun way to get together and have loads of good food. Generally you brought a couple dishes - a main dish type of food and a salad or dessert. The hosts usually had the drinks and the plates/etc. There would be 50 - 75 people at these parties and it the food was amazing. The kids had so much fun and so did the adults. No one person had a huge work load to get ready for a party of that size.
Fast forward to graduation years. One of my kids as if we could do a "potluck" for the grad party. LOL! I totally knew where she was coming from. She grew up going to these and we hosted at least one a summer. I told her that wasn't really how a graduation or any type of personal party was held and she laughed and totally got it, but not until I told her.
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Post by doxielady on Jul 13, 2014 18:07:29 GMT
I feel a little bad for her. She was probably really excited about her kids first bday then found out none of her friends cared. It was a lousy invite but still I feel bad for her. Me too. I just felt sad for her. It sounds like she was very excited and then no one replied. 
Not tacky - but sounded more like inexperience. I was her at one point in my life.
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Post by chaosisapony on Jul 13, 2014 18:12:33 GMT
Bummer. Sounds like someone needs to teach her how to create an Event and properly invite people to it... if you just post a status update (which sounds like that's what she did), it's totally going to get lost. I do think that is what happened. I am not close with this girl at all, we went to high school together 10 years ago, haven't seen her since. She posts a lot on Facebook and very rarely does anyone respond to her. I think a lot of people just tune her out. You know, when someone posts constantly you tend to just sort of glaze over the post. At least, I know I do that. Her posts tend to revolve around how poor they are. Asking if someone can please drive her husband to work because they can't afford car repairs. Her tirades against the government because she can't get on Medi-Cal. She recently decided to start selling Mary Kay and got all enthusiastic about that. When her friends did not place as many orders as she was apparently expecting she went off on how if only people would support her business she could better her son's life. She has created numerous events for Mary Kay parties and make overs and such and when she only gets two or three people interested she cancels them and makes another "poor me" post. So yeah, I think people just tune her out. |
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Post by sues on Jul 13, 2014 18:24:24 GMT
I feel a little bad for her. She was probably really excited about her kids first bday then found out none of her friends cared.
None of her friends cared- or her friends felt like she was a bit of an opportunist?
If she said "We're having cake at my house to celebrate Junior's first birthday. We'd love to see you!" - that would have been fine.
The whole 'bring something to share' and the follow up about dropping off gifts when the 'party' was cancelled, feels like she wanted a bigger event than she was willing to plan herself. When it didn't happen- she not only didn't bother to have the party (What?? Didn't the kid still have a birthday?)to she went with the pouty sympathy post.
If you want to have a party- have a party. Don't count on other people to make it happen for you.
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Post by LauraTen on Jul 13, 2014 18:31:48 GMT
She should not have asked the guests to bring anything.
Just the cake would have been fine.
It seems like she just wants something for nothing.
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Post by queenofshoes on Jul 13, 2014 18:34:55 GMT
Bummer. Sounds like someone needs to teach her how to create an Event and properly invite people to it... if you just post a status update (which sounds like that's what she did), it's totally going to get lost. I do think that is what happened. I am not close with this girl at all, we went to high school together 10 years ago, haven't seen her since. She posts a lot on Facebook and very rarely does anyone respond to her. I think a lot of people just tune her out. You know, when someone posts constantly you tend to just sort of glaze over the post. At least, I know I do that. Her posts tend to revolve around how poor they are. Asking if someone can please drive her husband to work because they can't afford car repairs. Her tirades against the government because she can't get on Medi-Cal. She recently decided to start selling Mary Kay and got all enthusiastic about that. When her friends did not place as many orders as she was apparently expecting she went off on how if only people would support her business she could better her son's life. She has created numerous events for Mary Kay parties and make overs and such and when she only gets two or three people interested she cancels them and makes another "poor me" post. So yeah, I think people just tune her out. I have someone on my feed like this. She makes me crazy annoyed, but it's like a train wreck that I can't look away from. I feel bad for the kids. Lesa |
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Post by I-95 on Jul 13, 2014 18:40:36 GMT
Awww. I feel bad for her. Everyone should have people to celebrate their baby's 1st birthday with. That's just sad.
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Post by heartcat on Jul 13, 2014 18:56:42 GMT
It is sad, but we don't really know whether she would have had anyone to celebrate with or not. All we know is that no one responded publicly on her facebook page saying that they would go, and that she cancelled the party without giving a reason.
Maybe she just didn't get what she felt were 'enough' responses. Maybe she really didn't have anyone planning to attend. But if the latter is the case, I would bet that that is because of a lot more than a single, tacky birthday invite on facebook. I would be more inclined to believe that if not a single person wanted to attend her child's first birthday party (again, if that is even the case) that it was because of a history of behaviours.
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Post by lucyg on Jul 13, 2014 18:56:42 GMT
The trouble with an invitation like that (well, there are many problems, but this is what bothers me the most) is that you know the hostess isn't interested in having YOU at her party. She's interested in having a bunch of people there, with no particular concern about who they are. I am not interested enough in attending any first birthday other than my nieces/nephews to go to one where I wasn't specifically invited because they want ME there, not just warm bodies.
This isn't about being kind, it's about not being taken advantage of by someone who really doesn't care about you except as someone who will bring food and gifts to her kid's party.
P.S. I was just as crotchety before the Internet age. In the '70s and '80s, I refused to attend weddings when the invitation was tacked to the office bulletin board with a note that everyone was invited. If I didn't get my own invitation, I didn't go.
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Post by lucyg on Jul 13, 2014 18:58:41 GMT
Awww. I feel bad for her. Everyone should have people to celebrate their baby's 1st birthday with. That's just sad. Then she ought to plan the party (simple is fine) and invite the people who matter to her. Even if it's just a few. |
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Post by Sam on Jul 13, 2014 19:15:50 GMT
Well, yes, it seems a bit tacky to me, BUT - I always have to remember that when I am a FB friend to someone, they aren't always the closest of friends (I am FB friends with some of the 'youngsters' at work, for example) and so their way of communicating with each other in their closer circle is not the way I or my IRL friends might go about an invite. I look at some of the comments made by those I 'know' on FB and just shake my head at them - some because these people clearly didn't retain anything they were taught and some because they are so clueless about even the most simple of things. To be fair to the girl, I can remember many time a time I was invited to a BYOB party - and never once was offended by that (only when I turned up and some other git hadn't brought one and drank mine!  ) |
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Post by melanell on Jul 13, 2014 19:35:56 GMT
The problem with that type of open invitation is that many people are left wondering if she truly means she would like to see any and all of her FB friends.
People might be seeing it and wondering if it's really just meant for her family or really just meant for her close friends, etc.
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Post by donna on Jul 13, 2014 19:46:39 GMT
If she has made a lot of annoying posts like you describe she is probably hidden by many of her FB friends. I have a few that I have hidden over the years.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 13, 2014 20:13:18 GMT
Tacky as hell, but I kind of feel sorry for her. What might have been a happy occasion looks to have been turned into a very damp squib by her apparent cluelessness. At least there will be one less tot having a cake shoved into its poor little face.
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Post by maryland on Jul 13, 2014 21:14:54 GMT
When our kids have parties, we send invitations. I know many people don't check their email/facebook/etc. very often. When we have sent invitiations, we ask them to call/text/email to rsvp. That seems to work well. I always try to rsvp right away when we get an invitation. If I don't, I forget!
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,019
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Jul 13, 2014 21:22:26 GMT
While I feel a little sad for her, I don't like the whole post on Facebook counting as an invite. I guess posting an event is better but I do like receiving an actual invite.
Lisa D.
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Post by I-95 on Jul 13, 2014 22:33:46 GMT
That's true, assuming that she has been raised to do that...in which case she probably would have done it. For some reason she sounded awfully young in her post....and clueless. I still feel sorry for her, but then again, I'm one of those bleeding hearts anyway  |
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