cjacker
Junior Member
Posts: 98 
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Post by cjacker on Jun 29, 2015 20:41:58 GMT
I posted this last week about my niece needing a divorce attorney and she has an appointment now. As I had mentioned in previous thread, she is in a very emotional abusive relationship and has finally worked up the courage to talk with a divorce attorney (her husband, of course, does not know she is doing this). What information should she bring with her? What questions should she be sure to ask?
Also, for those of you who have been in an emotionally abusive marriage, any advice for her until she is actually ready to proceed with a divorce? Thanks for any advice I can share with her.
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,615
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Post by basketdiva on Jun 29, 2015 20:48:38 GMT
If you use the search feature,you will find quite a few posts on this subject. At least the what information to take to an attorney.
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Jun 29, 2015 21:02:11 GMT
Tell her to write everything down. The attorney won't mind. I referred back to my notes from the first meeting several times.
I went in with a list of questions, but my attorney had been through this a million times and really led the conversation. Almost all of my questions were answered before I asked any questions. I hope your niece is working with someone as knowledgeable.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 5, 2024 17:31:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2015 22:35:13 GMT
I posted this last week about my niece needing a divorce attorney and she has an appointment now. As I had mentioned in previous thread, she is in a very emotional abusive relationship and has finally worked up the courage to talk with a divorce attorney (her husband, of course, does not know she is doing this). What information should she bring with her? What questions should she be sure to ask? Also, f or those of you who have been in an emotionally abusive marriage, any advice for her until she is actually ready to proceed with a divorce? Thanks for any advice I can share with her. Leave no trace. Get a post office box in her name but never ever take mail from it "home" She will need a super secretive gf to help her out. Don't pick the friend who's husband is friends with the abusive husband. Find someone who can support her 100%. Leave all mail in the box or with her friend. Make copies of all financial documents. Keep the copies somewhere outside of the house where he won't find them.. with her friend. If she can do it without him noticing remove her personal documents (birth cert, ss card, shot record, passport) and start removing small sentimental items he won't notice are gone (favored jewelry, photos). But try not to make it too obvious that things are changing. Don't start making calls to different phone numbers on a cell phone. They show up on the bill and he will be able to figure out who you have been calling. Make calls to the lawyer, helplines, etc from someone else's phone. Have a plan for a safe place she knows she can go without notice. This is one time a friend may not be the best place as he will coming looking. Many cities have a "hidden" shelter you have to contact the police to access. Some have more publically known ones but she doesn't want to wait until it is 1 am and she NEEDS a safe place so locate it now and memorize the phone number. Don't save it to her phone memory. Chances are high that if she has to run she won't have her phone with her. Ask the lawyer what she is allowed to do about changing locks on the house and what constitutes abandonment of the family home/marriage in her state. When I ran (literally) my ex later tried to tell the judge I had abandoned him and the family home. Finally, no matter what it is, a thing is not worth your life. Most things can be replaced. The ones that are irreplaceable still aren't worth losing your life over. Many many abusers get worse as they realize something isn't quite right at home. The seem to become hypersensitive.. and maybe we women have a bit more resolve knowing a viable plan is forming. It is better to leave before she is fully prepared to leave than to stay a night to long and end up severly injured or dead. |
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cjacker
Junior Member
Posts: 98
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Post by cjacker on Jun 29, 2015 22:43:37 GMT
Thank you everyone.
Votagain, such good information and advice. Hers has been, so far, terrible emotional abuse and threats, degrading her, calling her names, etc. The worse physical thing he has done is throw a coffee cup at her in the physical abuse aspect. But....like you say, all of it has escalated and he always threatens divorce and throws his wedding ring at her, so with the coffee cup incident now makes afraid for her physical safety as well as that will probably escalate.
Glad to hear the attorney will pretty much already have all the question all ready to ask of her.
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