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Post by chaosisapony on Jul 4, 2015 19:29:33 GMT
I have a bit of phone phobia myself. It's gotten better as I've gotten older because I no longer have a choice of asking someone else to do things for me. If I need something, I have to pick up the phone and make it happen. It's still not easy or fun for me but I can do it.
Yesterday I had to call a stranger and I was really nervous about making the call. I waited about 20 minutes and then just did it. The whole time the phone rang my anxiety was ratcheting up and I was praying to get his voicemail. I did and left a message. When he calls me back I won't be anxious about it. It's something about the act of initiating the communication more so than just having it.
I think you're doing your daughter a huge favor by making her take responsibility for this. She needs to be able to function in the world and part of that is going to require her to make calls. She could also stop by or send a Facebook message. So really there is nothing holding her back beyond her anxiety over initiating communication and possibly having to handle questions or a problem (about why the rx was not ready or if the pharmacy has a question, etc). It's only going to benefit her to start getting used to these things as soon as possible.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 4, 2015 19:29:59 GMT
I will do anything to avoid talking on the phone. Anything. To me it's one of the most miserable things in the world. Recently I got a new check card in the mail. But I had to call to activate it. I didn't want to. I ignored it so long they deactivated my old check card and it got declined for a purchase. So I finally had to call to activate the new one. Isn't activating a card by phone completely automated? We don't even speak to a human. We just push numbers. Sadly I had to actually speak to a person bc I didn't know my PIN.
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Post by choppedliver on Jul 4, 2015 19:38:46 GMT
Most of the time at work I'm ok. I don't enjoy it but I can do it . I I think it's because I'm calling with a specific purpose. Even banks and stuff is Ok. For me, it's more someone who may want to have a conversation.
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Nicole in TX
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Post by Nicole in TX on Jul 4, 2015 19:41:31 GMT
I hate talking on the phone as well, but sometimes you just have to do it. Good for you, pridemom for letting actions have consequences.
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LeaP
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Post by LeaP on Jul 4, 2015 19:55:22 GMT
I understand that texting is easier in many cases. There are also times when making a phone call is more appropriate. I think the tone of the message is lost when all you read are words. I guess I'm the odd pea out, but I'd rather talk to someone in some circumstances than typing a bunch of texts. There is no circumstance under which I would rather receive a phone call than a text. I'm very much text or nothing. I will text you or I will talk to you in person. But I will not talk on the phone. What if the school calls to tell you your kid is sick?
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georgiapea
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Post by georgiapea on Jul 4, 2015 19:59:42 GMT
I hate phones too, and avoid using my phone for that purpose whenever possible. Her pharmacy should set her Rx's up with auto refill where they call her to tell her it's ready for pick up. It should be a canned message with no response on her part needed. When I have to get one renewed I just tell the pharmacy worker at the drive thru window to please fax my Dr. for another refill.
To get this all set up she could visit her pharmacy and get the auto refill going.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 4, 2015 20:02:32 GMT
There is no circumstance under which I would rather receive a phone call than a text. I'm very much text or nothing. I will text you or I will talk to you in person. But I will not talk on the phone. What if the school calls to tell you your kid is sick? I homeschool ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/Q_m8lDOvc_3Le3r1GKdf.jpg) But if I didn't, I would prefer a text from the school. Schools here send texts for snow days, etc. instead of phone calls.
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Post by Mary_K on Jul 4, 2015 20:06:59 GMT
so weird. what's her excuse when it comes to not talking on the phone? She's afraid. Texting makes it too easy to avoid talking. I refuse to do it for her. Good for you! The more we avoid our fears, the more fears take over.
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Post by Sassenach on Jul 4, 2015 20:09:45 GMT
Let your daughter know that it doesn't affect you one way or the other. If she gets her BC pills then good for her. If she doesn't get them then too bad. It's not your problem.
She needs to learn that as an adult she will have to take care of things even if it makes her uncomfortable.
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Post by nurseypants on Jul 4, 2015 20:18:03 GMT
Oh good god. I am eye rolling so hard with this. I hope none of these 'phone-phobes' ever has to have a job. Utter nonsense.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 4, 2015 20:36:06 GMT
Oh good god. I am eye rolling so hard with this. I hope none of these 'phone-phobes' ever has to have a job. Utter nonsense. My DH is a phone phobe and he has a job. He's a teacher. He doesn't have to talk on the phone. The school tells parents communication with the teacher is via email. If he has to call in sick he texts the principal. The employee "phone tree" when there's a snow day or something is all by text.
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Deleted
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Jun 18, 2024 20:39:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2015 20:40:47 GMT
I truly dislike talking on the phone and I am a major extrovert. I especially hate it when I can't use a speaker phone. I hate when I have to hold it to my ear. Something about the posture gives me a crick in my neck most of the time.
But I don't really like to text either. I much prefer face to face interactions. Which is weird because I telecommute 98% of the time!
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Post by choppedliver on Jul 4, 2015 20:43:38 GMT
I'd rather deal with a phone phobe than a rabid bitch, just saying.
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Trixie Bender
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Post by Trixie Bender on Jul 4, 2015 20:49:44 GMT
Sam, I have told you how glad I am that you're back? ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png)
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Post by choppedliver on Jul 4, 2015 20:53:15 GMT
Thanks Trixie. I was definitely glad to see you here. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg)
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Post by utmr on Jul 4, 2015 21:04:35 GMT
I'd just do it for her and be done with it. Not a hill I'm going to die on.
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pridemom
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Post by pridemom on Jul 4, 2015 21:18:50 GMT
I'd just do it for her and be done with it. Not a hill I'm going to die on. So, when would you expect a 17 yo to take responsibility for herself? I guess I don't understand the idea of doing for someone who turns 18 in 2 months. She will be leaving for college in another year and when gone, she will have to do it. Better to learn this at home and have a parent standing by you to help walk you through the phone call, than to be thrown into it without the supports of home. I will die on this hill because my job is to raise functional adults, not incapable overgrown teenagers.
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Post by ahiller on Jul 4, 2015 21:21:22 GMT
I haven't read any other responses but I can tell you that I HATE making phone calls in general and put it off as long as I possibly can. I don't know why - I guess it's a form of social anxiety. So I can sympathize with her. Of course, I do it anyways but I totally get why she doesn't want to do it.
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gina
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Post by gina on Jul 4, 2015 21:22:55 GMT
I absolutely HATE talking on the phone. Hate it. I have to see your face. I will talk your ear off in person but I get very weird about talking on a phone. I never return calls left on my house machine and I screen EVERYTHING. Please, shoot me a text or we can talk when we meet-up in person. I am just very uncomfortable on the other end.
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calgal08
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Post by calgal08 on Jul 4, 2015 21:36:54 GMT
I'm with your dd. I hate it too. All my friends know if I ever pick up the phone and call them then it means something serious has happened. Even at work I have to force myself to use a phone instead of e-mail/text.
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Post by moveablefeast on Jul 4, 2015 21:39:05 GMT
What if the school calls to tell you your kid is sick? I homeschool ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/Q_m8lDOvc_3Le3r1GKdf.jpg) But if I didn't, I would prefer a text from the school. Schools here send texts for snow days, etc. instead of phone calls. We use a text system for snow days, but it's a giant automated self-enroll system. I can't pluck one mom's phone number out of it and text her from that system. It doesn't text one person, it texts everybody. It also isn't a two-way system so I have no way of knowing you got the message unless you call. And sometimes you just need to talk to a person - text is not immediate enough for some things. I have one mom at the school whose VM greeting is like, hi, I never check this, send me an email and I'll get back to you on my own time. Meanwhile her child is puking all over my office. That is just beyond aggravating - you have no idea how let down and sad those sick kids feel when the one person they really need is not answering the phone. Sorry, I ranted. I hate talking on the phone too, but sometimes cupcake has to suck it up. That's really how I feel about this one.
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Post by brina on Jul 4, 2015 21:39:13 GMT
She's afraid. Texting makes it too easy to avoid talking. I refuse to do it for her. Good for you! The more we avoid our fears, the more fears take over. Exactly - you have to face your fears to conquer them. Pridemom hang in there - you are doing the right thing.
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Post by nurseypants on Jul 4, 2015 21:40:36 GMT
I'd rather deal with a phone phobe than a rabid bitch, just saying. And a nickel-plated one, at that. De nada.
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Post by brina on Jul 4, 2015 21:41:02 GMT
I'd just do it for her and be done with it. Not a hill I'm going to die on. So, when would you expect a 17 yo to take responsibility for herself? I guess I don't understand the idea of doing for someone who turns 18 in 2 months. She will be leaving for college in another year and when gone, she will have to do it. Better to learn this at home and have a parent standing by you to help walk you through the phone call, than to be thrown into it without the supports of home. I will die on this hill because my job is to raise functional adults, not incapable overgrown teenagers. ![:yourock:](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/uuBdK340jrf62u5OH_qF.jpg)
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Post by nurseypants on Jul 4, 2015 21:50:59 GMT
I'd just do it for her and be done with it. Not a hill I'm going to die on. What hill WILL you die on? Cant wait for your kids to get a job in my unit, where their hands will require constant holding.
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Post by choppedliver on Jul 4, 2015 21:52:10 GMT
Like I said previously, it's something her daughter deal with but I'm willing to bet some of the women here that are saying just get over it have an irrational fear themselves...spiders, mice, snakes, needles, clowns, the dentist. None of those apply to me but I'm not going scoff at someone who does have them.
You'd think someone in the medical field would be more understanding, but I guess not.
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jjb
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Post by jjb on Jul 4, 2015 21:57:41 GMT
Oh good god. I am eye rolling so hard with this. I hope none of these 'phone-phobes' ever has to have a job. Utter nonsense. I am one of these 'phone-phones' and have been for all 39 years of my life. Gives me major anxiety and has as long as I can remember. Not caused by anything, just who I am. That said, I have a college degree, managed a food service operation for 9 years(including opening 3 Subway restaurants- training staff and management), currently I am a senior accountant of our local Health Department. Prior to this job I spent a year and a half doing insurance authorizations, that was about 7 hours a day on the phone, and they weren't easy phone calls. All this to say that somewhere along the way you just learn to deal with it when necessary. Every single time I make a call or answer a call I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack but that doesn't mean I don't do it. Having this issue doesn't make you a non-functional adult. OP I think you are doing the right thing. I do the same with my girls. My senior is fighting responsibility tooth and nail. It goes beyond the phone, it's wanting to be an adult and wanting to stay a teenager at the same time. I'm always telling her my goal is to raise functional adults, not adults dependent on me. Good luck to you!
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peaname
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Post by peaname on Jul 4, 2015 22:11:23 GMT
What worked for me was pretending I was someone else, like an actress.
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AmeliaBloomer
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Jul 4, 2015 22:25:45 GMT
So, when would you expect a 17 yo to take responsibility for herself? I guess I don't understand the idea of doing for someone who turns 18 in 2 months. She will be leaving for college in another year and when gone, she will have to do it. Better to learn this at home and have a parent standing by you to help walk you through the phone call, than to be thrown into it without the supports of home. I will die on this hill because my job is to raise functional adults, not incapable overgrown teenagers. Stick to your guns. As a Huge Phone Phobe Baby (most people I know would be astonished to learn that), I wish someone had been more like this with me. I force myself to do it every day, as I understand that explanations, discussions about solutions, and even requests for information often have much better results when it's a back and forth conversation that allows for dialogue, detail and LISTENING. As a teacher, there are some conversations I would never have in writing, even though I can. I see young teachers try to communicate solely in writing and I know the mistakes and misunderstandings that often result - and this is just among their peers and supervisors, not even with parents. People think it's more precise, but it often is just the opposite. Skimming, reading comprehension problems, and auto-correction add more wrinkles. I've noticed that both my college-age kids struggle on the phone. Sometimes I wince when I hear their attempts, as they don't really understand the language pragmatics of phone conversation. I empathize with them, and I coach them, but I won't bail them out.
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Post by mollycoddle on Jul 4, 2015 22:34:43 GMT
Yes, stick to your guns. Most people need phone skills at some point. My mom started making me make my own appointments and calls when I was about 14. I resisted, but she too stuck to her guns. It's a valuable skill, even though we don't need to use the phone as much as we used to.
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