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Post by *christine* on Jul 4, 2015 23:49:29 GMT
Another help me with my house guests post...story of my life!!
SIL her dh and their two girls are in the midst of their three week visit. THe 11yo is an epic screecher. My dog hates it, my neighbors must hate it and I am not a fan. Any suggestions on how to get it to stop? She was so obnoxious at the grocery store the other day that I cancelled a trip to the mall with them and went alone. We have a mani pedi and lunch planned before a mini trip and I don't want to take it away because it is their birthday gift from me, but I will die if she behaves that way at the upscale salon I'm taking them to.
If you touch her she screeches, if you reprimand her she screeches, if she thinks something is funny or scary or embarrassing screech screech screech! How do you get a little girls to stop it???
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Nicole in TX
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Posts: 2,951
Jun 26, 2014 2:00:21 GMT
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Post by Nicole in TX on Jul 4, 2015 23:50:35 GMT
Her parents should have stopped it long ago. Like when she was 3.
I am sorry. I have children relatives like that too.
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Deleted
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Oct 5, 2024 13:13:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2015 23:55:41 GMT
11 years old is WAY too old to be allowed to screech unless she has a developmental issue.
When my 12 yo niece was visiting, she started screaming at her sister for some silly reason. I firmly told her that no one was allowed to behave like that in MY house. I also told her to apologize to her sister. All of this while my brother and SIL did nothing.
How do her parents react? Do they give her consequences or just put up with it? I've got to wonder if she does this at school, too.
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Post by *christine* on Jul 4, 2015 23:57:35 GMT
I was thinking the same thing. Her parents yell and yell but it has zero impact. I thought most girls outgrew it much younger tHan this.
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Post by AussieMeg on Jul 4, 2015 23:58:46 GMT
Oh I hear you!! I cannot stand screeching screaming children. We were at my dad's house last night and there was a little 2yo girl and her 4yo brother who ran around screaming constantly. The mother kept telling them to stop, but a few minutes later it would start up again. She asked my brother and I whether our girls were ever screamers. I said that they weren't, which was just as well because I would have belted it out of them.
(I was joking......)
My brother's best mate has 3 girls aged 8 to 13, and all three of them are the biggest screamers I have ever heard. So is the mother for that matter!! We were all at my dad's house one day for a swim and one of the girls got stung by a wasp. She started screaming hysterically and then her 2 sisters joined in even though they didn't even get stung..... OMG, I'm surprised the neighbours didn't call the police, it sounded like a massacre!
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Trixie Bender
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Jun 26, 2014 11:31:57 GMT
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Post by Trixie Bender on Jul 5, 2015 0:03:59 GMT
I was thinking the same thing. Her parents yell and yell but it has zero impact. I thought most girls outgrew it much younger tHan this. If the parents tolerate it and there is never a consequence, they will NEVER outgrow it. I would not hesitate to do what nicksmom did: 11 years old is WAY too old to be allowed to screech unless she has a developmental issue. When my 12 yo niece was visiting, she started screaming at her sister for some silly reason. I firmly told her that no one was allowed to behave like that in MY house. I also told her to apologize to her sister. All of this while my brother and SIL did nothing. How do her parents react? Do they give her consequences or just put up with it? I've got to wonder if she does this at school, too.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 5, 2015 0:04:22 GMT
Yea, 11 yrs old, seems way to old to be screeching! Maybe it needs to come from someone else to tell her? She's probably heard it from the parents so much it doesn't faze her? Or maybe the parents screaming at her? this is her way at getting attention?
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Deleted
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Oct 5, 2024 13:13:49 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2015 0:06:06 GMT
We would get the palm of my dad's hand across the face the first time we screeched. There would be no second time.
Do the parents seriously put up with that? If the child has a development delay or disability then hey that's life. You just deal.
If not the kid would get my wrath and be told to shut the fuck up and I wouldn't care who it offended!
Do people not discipline their children anymore? Neither my son nor his 500 closest friends never ever ever made noise like that at any age!
She must have a learning disability. The parents may be in denial but there has to be something wrong with her to behave like that.
My BFF's daughter has non-verbal learning disability and she doesn't understand indoor voice and sometimes doesn't know appropriate volume, nor can you touch her for any reason at all. I wonder if she has something like that???
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LeaP
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Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Jul 5, 2015 0:20:28 GMT
I distinguish between screaming and screeching. No screeching, ever, at my house. Screaming? I give my daughters (11 & 14) a couple of minutes if they have guests and are playing hid and seek or doing something that they think requires a scream (horror flick!).
At 11, if she is neurotypical, she should be able to resist screeching. In your situation, my nerves would be frayed and I would be going through explicit instructions for the mani pedi. Can you give here a "my house, my rules"speech? Be frank, explain that you and the dog don't like it and it makes you not enjoy the time and activities you do together. My 11 year old would be mortified that she frighted the dog more so than the adults.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jul 5, 2015 0:22:40 GMT
Quietly patiently and alone. Sit her down and tell her what is acceptable behavior, in your home, and around you.
Don't threaten, just state clearly it is not acceptable. Then the first time she does it. Remove her from the situation.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Jul 5, 2015 0:23:08 GMT
Your house, your rules. Start now so you can enjoy the rest of their vacation. Sit her down and very calmly tell her it has to stop. I cannot tolerate screeching kids.
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caro
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Post by caro on Jul 5, 2015 0:27:13 GMT
I don't do screeching or screaming at all. I stopped a couple of my DGDs last week from screaming and told them it was for the pool not anywhere else. They stopped. I also do NOT allow it in my 3 year old classroom either. They try and I remind them outside only.
Have a talk with her privately and explain your feelings and tell her to stop. If you are out and she starts, give her the stink eye. That may help.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 5, 2015 0:29:29 GMT
ooooh! the old stink eye Caro! gets them every time!
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mallie
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Post by mallie on Jul 5, 2015 0:32:41 GMT
I was thinking the same thing. Her parents yell and yell but it has zero impact. I thought most girls outgrew it much younger tHan this. Today at the parade, a family was seated next to us consisting of two sisters and their husbands, all in their early 40s. One couple got there first and the woman behaved like a normal adult, talking in a normal voice to her husband. Then her sister arrived. OMFG. She began to shriek and screech like a 3 year old girl. Then her sister did it. Then they both did it. Endlessly. For the entire length of the parade (nearly an hour). My dh actually had to get up and take a walk for a while because he couldn't take it. So...some females apparently NEVER outgrow it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2015 0:39:27 GMT
Time to have the aunt talk.
I love you sweetie, but unless you start controlling yourself , I will no longer be able to take you out on our special trips. She is 11, she can handle the truth.
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Post by Meri-Lyn on Jul 5, 2015 0:48:48 GMT
Was it Sprint that had the commercial with the grown women screeching so bad, the glass broke? Gawd, I hated that commercial.
My nieces and their cousins were screechers. Holiday events always ended with a headache. Luckily, they out grew it by about 6/7. According to DH, his sisters were the same way, and step-mother let them go, so the apples didn't fall far from the tree.
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Post by littlemama on Jul 5, 2015 0:50:41 GMT
I wouldn't tolerate that behavior for a single minute, but at the same time, I wouldn't penalize the sister for the behavior either. I would explain exactly what she did that caused you to leave the mall today, and ask her to think hard about whether she will be able to handle the salon. Make sure she knows that if she behaves that way one time at the salon that you will have her picked up while you continue the day with her sister- and have someone on standby to pick her up.
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Post by ten&rose on Jul 5, 2015 1:17:10 GMT
We call it girl screaming at our house and it isn't allowed. I've corrected young guests as well. A firm but polite, "We don't allow girl screaming at our house," usually does the trick.
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georgiapea
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Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
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Post by georgiapea on Jul 5, 2015 1:22:01 GMT
I'm so very 'My House, My Rules' that I would tell her that there will be NO screeching or other loud sounds coming from her. And if it happened out in public there would be NO further forays into public places.
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Post by txdancermom on Jul 5, 2015 1:22:17 GMT
Quietly patiently and alone. Sit her down and tell her what is acceptable behavior, in your home, and around you. Don't threaten, just state clearly it is not acceptable. Then the first time she does it. Remove her from the situation. And I would explain to her what behavior is acceptable when going for mani/pedi, and if she can't behave, she will have to stay home. That kind of behavior can't be rewarded - jmho
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Post by christine58 on Jul 5, 2015 1:47:35 GMT
Her disability is that her parents are jerks. It's called being able to act like an idiot and parents aren't correcting her. HAS nothing to do with a disability...please are you serious???
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Post by cannmom on Jul 5, 2015 1:52:29 GMT
Oh gosh, You lost me at 3 week Visit. You are a better person than me. I agree with previous posters. 11 years old is old enough to sit her down and have a private conversation about acceptable behavior. Certainly let her know that she can not behave that way in the salon. It's supposed to be a quiet peaceful atmosphere. I would be kind, but firm. You will be doing her a favor. Tell her way in advance of the salon visit and let her know that if you don't see improvement, no salon.
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Post by salem on Jul 5, 2015 1:53:15 GMT
That knd of screaming is completely obnoxious and immediately gets on my nerves. It would happen once and then that kid would hear exactly how unacceptable in my house that screeching is. Eleven is way too old to pull that crap.
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Post by corinne11 on Jul 5, 2015 2:04:23 GMT
I hate screeching with a passion! When I am on yard duty I will always ask girls (and boys!) to stop the high pitched shrieking straight away. I always say that they are hurting my ears - because THEY ARE!!
There is a big difference between children screaming/laughing when playing chasey and children who just shriek at the top of the voices, often right in other children's faces.
11 years old is way too old to still be doing that. Clearly it's become a habit that needs to be broken - hopefully during their visit to your house! Good luck.
Corinne
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Post by *christine* on Jul 5, 2015 2:27:31 GMT
Weird - I was on my phone earlier and couldn't see all the responses...
Even though they get yelled at all the time, there are not really any consequences and they don't seem to care if they get yelled at. I think it is basically a lack of discipline and follow through. The younger one just turned 10 and she's forever doing handstands, cartwheels, jumps etc. We were playing jenga the other day and she would take her turn and then jump up and do a split or a handstand. I asked her numerous times not to jump in the house, while we were playing, etc. When I finally got up and said I'm not playing anymore, her parents thought I was being a brat. They said - she can't sit still and I said - don't let her eat so much sugar!
I will definitely talk to both of them this week and let them know that the spa lunch is contingent upon them showing me they will be able to behave while there, which means no screeching and cartwheels in the house leading up to spa day.
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Post by mztfied on Jul 5, 2015 2:55:07 GMT
You get more of whatever you put up with.
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Post by Judie in Oz on Jul 5, 2015 3:18:37 GMT
Weird - I was on my phone earlier and couldn't see all the responses... Even though they get yelled at all the time, there are not really any consequences and they don't seem to care if they get yelled at. I think it is basically a lack of discipline and follow through. The younger one just turned 10 and she's forever doing handstands, cartwheels, jumps etc. We were playing jenga the other day and she would take her turn and then jump up and do a split or a handstand. I asked her numerous times not to jump in the house, while we were playing, etc. When I finally got up and said I'm not playing anymore, her parents thought I was being a brat. They said - she can't sit still and I said - don't let her eat so much sugar! I will definitely talk to both of them this week and let them know that the spa lunch is contingent upon them showing me they will be able to behave while there, which means no screeching and cartwheels in the house leading up to spa day. "don't let her eat so much sugar". This has been proven to have no relation to the sort of behaviour you're talking about. It's the parents who are the problem. They have let this behaviour go on far too long. I do think the "record the screeching then play it back" is a good idea. They obviously have no idea how poor their behaviour is. Screeching children, particularly girls, do my head in.
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Post by maryland on Jul 5, 2015 3:34:48 GMT
That would drive me crazy! I have three girls, and they never screeched. My 12 yr. old had a friend sleepover last weekend and she was so loud! I can't have her over when my husband is home because he has no tolerance for loud girls! That's the big reason my girls never want to go to a concert - the screaming girls!
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 5, 2015 3:35:01 GMT
I have taught since 1987. I had fifth grade. They are between 9-12 years old. I have never ever had a girl screecher or screamer in the classroom. Now some are way louder than others with their talking but never screeching. Will they visit again next year? I wouldn't hesitate to cancel HER appointment and give her a gift card. That behavior is just not okay.
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Post by rockymtnpea on Jul 5, 2015 4:54:55 GMT
Why have a private talk with the young lady. The talk should be done with the parents sitting right there which basically says 'since you aren't doing your job as parents let me help you.' And then let the child know this isn't appropriate. That behavior is acceptable at 2-3 years of age . (Unless we are talking about a child with a disability. RockyMtnPea who is just finishing out a fabulous week at DISNEYWorld and who has stories about children and their awful behavior and the people who fail to parent them. ?
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