Shrieking little girls-make it stop!

That would put me RIGHT on edge! I couldn't last three days much less three weeks. DD isn't a screecher but she has a friend who is/was. The poor kid was basically being raised by wolves until her dad moved back home with his parents where the girl would have a little stability. Now that she's been there a little over a year she's doing much better but it's taken a lot of hard work on the part of the dad and grandparents to get her over screaming about every little thing.

A spray bottle of water every time you hear a screech. "Whoops, sorry, I thought that was the cat screeching." Lather, rinse, repeat. Dang cat.

My two cents... Yelling is not the answer.  With an 11 year old.  Calm cool conversation is.  Really Yelling is adult screeching and the kids know that better than anyone.

In defense of the 10 year old.  If my child could not sit still long enough to play Jenga.. I would take her outside. Kids need to move a lot!  I bet 15 minutes outside of doing some handstands and good physical play she would have been fine to play the quiet game. You might want to think about what you will do before the spa so they can get their need to move out before they relax.  

Of course in the perfect world her parents would be doing this... but as apparently that's not going to happen.

We were in a beach house with about 40 family members for the past few days. The general noise level was pretty loud at times. But add to that a few children screaming or having tantrums and it gets out of control quickly. Luckily, the parents in our situation took steps to nip it in the bud each time.

This thread reminds me of the one about people feeling entitled to take their dogs everywhere. Someone on that thread made the tried-and-true comment that no one else ever thinks your pets -- or your children -- are as cute as you do.

Kids I know that either scream or whine (both huge pet peeves of mine), when they're at our house I make it clear my house, my rules, which includes no whining or screaming. On the whole, because I'm not a parent, they good about it. If they do slip up I remind them of the rules.

I am a boy mom and didn't experience this screeching phenomenon so little girls screeching totally puts me over the edge. You have my sympathies.

Here's the conversation I'd have -

Girls - We need to have a talk. I know I've promised to take you for Mani-Pedis for your birthdays. Mani-Pedis are for grown ups and those who can behave like grown ups. Screaming is not grown up. Do you hear me screaming? So-if you really want to go there can be no screaming or mis-behaving. If you do it while we are there we will leave and come home immediately. So you need to think really hard if you can behave like grown ups. If you can't, that's OK, we won't go. But there will be no other birthday gift.

Just one cranky old lady's opinion

I lived down the street from an elementary school outside of Chicago for a year. Oh my word. The screeching/screaming during recesses was incredibly loud, and I was on the other end of the block. It wasn't just the girls, though they were the worst offenders.

The kids in my neighborhood here scream a lot, but they're the worst behaved kids dh and I have ever seen. They run out in front of cars all the time--we've called the police about it because it's so bad. No parents around most of the time. 

My 3 year old nephew screeches. At Christmas, my dh had a horrible migraine, and the kid kept screeching. No reprimands or punishments.  His brother and sister are the ones who watch him/try to reprimand him, and they're so fed up with him. 

My evil SIL just makes excuses. She says people come up to her in stores and tell her that they can't believe how loud her kid is. (insert her laugh here).   My BIL always has his head in his books for his doctorate or sermons and doesn't help. I think she lets the kids get wound up to punish him, but the kids' behaviour punishes the rest of us. 

My inlaws were really exhausted and stressed out, and my poor dh couldn't get any relief. One day he was so sick that I sat down in the living room with my niece and nephews and entertained them for several hours so I could keep nephew quiet so dh could get a nap. SIL was there, but she wasn't doing any parenting.

I feel so bad for my niece and nephew who do most of the parenting. I took them to the Children's museum, but I refused to take the youngest. I couldn't keep up with him. Dh and I tell niece and nephew that we notice how well behaved they are (they really are extremely well behaved for 8 and 6) and that they do so much for their brother. Dh and I can see how frustrated the kids are with their brother's behaviour, but they're so sweet and loving with him anyway. 

Nephew also screams bloody murder during his bath every night. You'd think he was being scalded or someone was torturing him. EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT. MIL and I have asked if nephew has any issues--like with textures/temperatures/etc, but SIL says they've taken him to the doctor and everything checked out. 

I dunno. I think it's horrible that the kid gets that upset every night.  I'm not a parent and don't think I have the answers at all, but I don't think I could do something that upsets my child so badly, even once or twice, much less every night.

My inlaws visited BIL/SIL for niece's kindergarten graduation earlier this year. MIL wound up in the hospital with pneumonia. The poor air quality in Detroit really bothers her, but dh and I also think that the commotion and noise just stressed her out.

At Christmas, dh and I spend a few more days with his parents after BIL/SIL leave. We were really shocked at how exhausted his parents were this past year. They're just not bouncing back like they used to. 

If we said anything, it would start WWIII. SIL is so quick to judge everyone else, but she doesn't take her own advice well.

When you sit down with her to have that conversation, you might build in a code word - she is probably no longer aware of her own screeching, and she may "not know what you're talking about" when you try to talk to her about it.

You can make it something fun, like "Bananas," or you can make it something like, "Is it raining out?" that only you and she would understand. Give her a day or so to build her awareness, and see how she responds.

With my young students, I tell them that screaming makes me think there's an emergency. If someone screams in class after that (we do a lot of lively, fun activities, and sometimes the kids get carried away), I immediately halt the activity and ask what the emergency is. Usually it doesn't take more than a couple of times doing that, and the kids learn.