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Post by Florida Cindy on Jul 9, 2015 12:13:14 GMT
I have a very small F/B group of local gals who have fibro. We post daily and get together once a month. One of our members' Mom passed away. Today is the viewing and funeral. I have never met the member's Mom. Should I attend in support of my friend?
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Post by Miss Ang on Jul 9, 2015 12:17:13 GMT
I don't think it's ever wrong to attend a visitation or funeral to say to a friend, "I'm so sorry for your loss." Just stopping by shows a great deal of love and support. You don't have to stay for the service, but if you are able to stop in, I think it's a very kind gesture.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 5, 2024 7:23:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2015 12:19:31 GMT
Visitation, funerals, memorials and graveside services are the times to support the living that you know. It doesn't matter if you personally knew the deceased. Go, support your friend.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 9, 2015 12:26:28 GMT
I am always touched by the people who take the time to support us at times like that. Sometimes seeing those people you didn't necessarily expect to see there can mean a lot.
When my husband's grandmother died, she had been isolated due to her health for a number of years. Many people who had previously been in her life in one capacity of another had therefore not had contact with her in years. We expected the funeral to be primarily family and just a few others. It was a pleasant surprise though that a good many others came. It just makes you feel "supported" by people.
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Post by corinne11 on Jul 9, 2015 12:42:34 GMT
My mum passed away 10 weeks ago and seven of my work friends attended her funeral even though they had never met her. We are teachers and it is not always easy for people to be covered for several hours, but our principal is really lovely and made sure everyone that wanted to come and support me was able to.
I was doing the eulogy and it was really comforting to see their faces in the crowd. I could not look at my immediate family or I would have broken down. They have all been there for me during my mum's journey into dementia, nursing home and finally palliative care.
If you are comfortable going please do so. Even if you go for the service and sign the book it will be appreciated. After reading the memorial book during lunch later that day, we realised that one of the men that used to work with my mum over 25 yrs ago had come in, sat quietly and left. We also received a message at the funeral home from a woman who lived across the road from us as a child, but had moved away 40yrs ago sending her condolences.
It is lovely to think that people took the time to remember her or to support us on such a bittersweet day.
Corinne
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Post by originalvanillabean on Jul 9, 2015 13:11:09 GMT
Yes.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,153
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Jul 9, 2015 13:15:21 GMT
I agree, you can go and support your friend without having known her Mom. I have a friend/neighbor who lost her brother a few years back. I'd never met him or her other brothers (i'd met her parents.) I attended to support her.
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,383 
Location: New York, NY
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Post by christinec68 on Jul 9, 2015 13:15:13 GMT
For these situations, if I ever think "should I?" I know it really means Yes, I should go. It will mean so much to your friend to see you there.
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,276
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Post by iowgirl on Jul 9, 2015 13:22:02 GMT
You don't realize how much it means when people show up and say they care. Just stopping at the viewing/visitation and giving your condolences is enough - and it means SO much.
I also try to not say "call me if you need anything". Everyone says that. If you want to help, say what you are going to do, otherwise - just extend your sympathy.
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Post by littlemama on Jul 9, 2015 13:26:06 GMT
It is absolutely appropriate to go to support your friend!
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
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Post by caro on Jul 9, 2015 13:30:22 GMT
Yes! Go support your friend, it will mean so much to her.
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,073
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Post by mimima on Jul 9, 2015 14:16:48 GMT
Yes.
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
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Post by ginacivey on Jul 9, 2015 14:25:36 GMT
most of the time i go to funerals to support those left behind
i don't have to have had relationship with the deceased.
gina
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
Posts: 3,082
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Jul 9, 2015 14:28:08 GMT
Yes. Absolutely. It will mean so much to your friend that you took the time out of your day to come and be supportive of her during this time.
I realize that funerals and visitations aren't fun, but your friend needs to know that she's loved and cared for her. Just going to the visitation will mean more to her than you can imagine.
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Post by peano on Jul 9, 2015 14:34:13 GMT
I once worked with a woman who had an adored grandmother in poor health; she talked about her all the time at work. At some point, I stumbled upon the grandmother's obituary in the newspaper; I don't know if I had been off, or my friend hadn't discussed her death or what, but no one at work knew about it. I came to the wake as a way of showing support for my friend because I knew how much she was hurting. The look of shock that I was there, and then gratitude that I was there is something I'll never forget. Go and support your friend.
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Post by myshelly on Jul 9, 2015 14:43:40 GMT
Absolutely!
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 9, 2015 15:08:13 GMT
yes
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Post by Florida Cindy on Jul 10, 2015 11:46:39 GMT
Thanks Peas! I attended and it went well. My friend was surprised and grateful I came to the service.
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on Jul 10, 2015 18:45:45 GMT
Visitation, funerals, memorials and graveside services are the times to support the living that you know. It doesn't matter if you personally knew the deceased. Go, support your friend.
I agree. I'd go.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Jul 10, 2015 19:34:06 GMT
Thanks Peas! I attended and it went well. My friend was surprised and grateful I came to the service. I'm very happy to hear this  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 5, 2024 7:23:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2015 20:50:44 GMT
Visitation, funerals, memorials and graveside services are the times to support the living that you know. It doesn't matter if you personally knew the deceased. Go, support your friend. This. A few of my parents' friends came to my grandmother's funeral. I think only one of them had actually met my grandma more than once. Not a single one of my friends came not even my oldest friend who has met her many times growing up and I was hurt. |
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Post by disneypal on Jul 10, 2015 20:57:18 GMT
I see that you went. That is good. I've learned over the years, that if you are able, you should always go to the funeral (or visitation) - it means a lot to the person that has lost their loved one. |
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