Deleted
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Apr 29, 2024 0:59:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2015 3:12:47 GMT
I turn 40 on Saturday and I am freaking out a bit. I am definitely not where I thought I would be especially with my physical health and the anxiety and depression. I thought I would have a family by now too. I am really struggling with all of this and the depression wins at times and I feel alone.
So why were your 40's better than your 30's? This is a huge birthday for me. I almost didn't make it to 40.
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Post by stephgg on Jul 16, 2015 3:15:35 GMT
Sorry you are feeling this way. Tomorrow I turn 40. I'm actually excited about it. My 30's brought me anxiety, something that is new to me. I see turning 40 as saying goodbye to all of that and starting new. Kind of like a rebirth.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Jul 16, 2015 3:15:33 GMT
Every decade has its own rewards and its own hurdles. Never let fear get in the way of the adventure!
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
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Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Jul 16, 2015 3:20:26 GMT
I'm 62 and my 40s were the best time of my life. My kids were 20 and 18 when I was 40 so lots less responsibility, I still had the energy to do whatever I wanted, my DH was still alive and we were able to spend much more time together, I hadn't yet started to feel or look old and life was very good. If I could choose to repeat any decade of my life it'd be my 40s without a doubt!
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pudgygroundhog
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Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Jul 16, 2015 3:43:56 GMT
I agree that each decade has its own benefits. I turn 40 next year and at least right now, turning 40 doesn't bother me. I feel like at this age I've learned to let things go more and don't worry so much about the small stuff. It can be liberating to not care so much.
Sorry you are feeling down. Don't focus so much on where you think you should be with yourself ... we all take winding paths in life. And 40 is not old - there is a lot of time to do the things you want to do or work towards new goals.
I hope you get to do something fun on your birthday or treat yourself. You should celebrate 40!
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Deleted
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Apr 29, 2024 0:59:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2015 3:47:18 GMT
Sorry you are feeling this way. Tomorrow I turn 40. I'm actually excited about it. My 30's brought me anxiety, something that is new to me. I see turning 40 as saying goodbye to all of that and starting new. Kind of like a rebirth. That's a great way to reframe it. Happy early birthday! July babies ROCK!
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Deleted
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Apr 29, 2024 0:59:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2015 4:08:28 GMT
Oh man, the 40s are great. I turned 44 last month, and pardon my french, but every year I give fewer and fewer fucks what other people think and it's incredibly liberating.
I finally understand that for me and my life, I know best. I don't second guess myself all the time. I have more respect for other people and their eccentricities and I give them more space to be themselves. I let everyone off the hook more often.
There's very little drama. I am digging it. I hope you do too!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 16, 2015 4:18:30 GMT
My 40's have been GREAT! I got married young and we spent our 20's getting through school, working multiple jobs and basically having no life, no money and no fun. My life didn't really start until I hit 30, and by then both of us were self employed and working 70 hours a week. When I hit 40, I hit my stride. I felt like we finally had our act together and we had our DD when I was 43. The last five years have FLOWN by and we've had so much fun. Life is good. If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. 50 is right around the corner for us, and I'm kind of like eh, it's just a number. I don't let it bother me a bit.
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moodyblue
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Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Jul 16, 2015 4:28:14 GMT
I met the right man for me at 41 and got married for the first time at 42. We built our house and our life together. My 40's got off to a wonderful start!
I tell people not to give up on getting what you want - but not to just sit around waiting; get out and make things happen and be open to possibilities. I agreed to meet my now-husband even though he smoked and I'd always said "no smokers." I never nagged or pushed or begged. He quit smoking before we got married and hasn't had a cigarette since. If I'd said "no" back at the beginning, I'd have missed out on so much good. I had a good life before him, but it's better with him.
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Post by papersilly on Jul 16, 2015 4:33:13 GMT
My friends think I'm crazy but I love my 40's. No insecurity like in the 20's or uncertainty of the 30's. I feel wiser, more mature, and content with life. I don't put up with shit anymore and I speak my mind. I appreciate quality time with family and friends and don't feel the need to compete or impress anyone. I am who I am and I am not apologizing for it. I am happy and secure in my marriage. I'm actually looking forward to my 50's too.
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Deleted
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Apr 29, 2024 0:59:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2015 4:41:32 GMT
I love these stories you all! They give me hope. I still look like I am in my early to mid 30's so I am grateful for that. No one ever guesses my age right.
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Post by scrapsuzy on Jul 16, 2015 4:42:31 GMT
Well, in my 30's I raised 4 teenagers. And my 40's I have been rewarded with grandchildren. But that's just me. I didn't really have an issue with turning 40 as much as did turning 30.
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Post by Chips on Jul 16, 2015 4:48:32 GMT
Gosh, I am thinking about turning 40 and honestly it has been a time of acceptance of what I can and can not do.
It has been a time that I have not stressed about things but have been able to make my plan and work towards it. It has been very Zen in do no harm and do not judge.
I also have a better understanding of my faults and imperfections and that makes me better at accepting and relating to others.
But,I have yet to figure out how to shed the extra 30 pounds that I've gained in my forties!
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Deleted
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Apr 29, 2024 0:59:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2015 4:59:28 GMT
By the time I got into my 40s, people started treating me like an adult -- even my family. Not being a kid with your own mother takes time. My career was more stable, and as one poster said, I stopped caring so much what other people thought. It was absolutely liberating.
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MaryMary
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Lazy
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Post by MaryMary on Jul 16, 2015 5:03:22 GMT
I was happy to turn 40 last fall. I know myself much better than I did ten years ago. I'm more comfortable in my skin and less concerned what people think about me.
And like I always say, way better than the alternative.
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Deleted
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Apr 29, 2024 0:59:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2015 5:06:43 GMT
20s were awful! Truly awful. Bad marriage, child was wild, divorce, bad career...
30s weren't much better.
40s are fun! Good friends, lots of good times, special time spent with family. Truly the best. Bonding with DS has been out of my expectations how well he has turned out. Yay! Sure I will have lost 2 very close family members, but the time we have spent together from at 40 onwards has been priceless! Trust me, 40 is the best!
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jul 16, 2015 5:19:03 GMT
I turned 46 at the end of May... honestly, I had to get used to that particular number, because now I'm closer to my 'late' 40s... but it's all a mental thing, so by a few weeks later, I had already forgotten about it. I like being in my 40s because I am finally at the age where I don't really care what 'people' think (who are those people, anyway?? lol!) about how I dress, what I look like, what I'm interested in, etc. I am more 'my own person' finally, if that makes sense, and I feel freer to give my opinion about things as I've gotten older, both in my personal life and my professional life. I have almost 25 years of professional experience to call on and I feel like it's valuable, as well as all the personal life experiences I've had up to now. Not that I'm a slob who doesn't care at all, or anything like that, but I know what clothing styles suit me, I know what I like and what I don't, and I don't really care about trends, today's fashion, etc. (Examples: I like listening to NPR, I watch Masterpiece Theater and other PBS shows, I don't watch reality tv and couldn't care less about the Kardashians or other pop culture (except I wish they'd go away)... I'm a science nerd who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, bird watching, etc. hard rock and heavy metal music. I got my first tattoo in my late 30s, I'm going to get my third one on Friday, and I already have ideas for at least two more.) Basically, I don't feel like I need to act a particular way to 'fit in' any certain group; I'm my own group, I guess. As the years go by, I really don't think about what specific age I am at any given time because I still feel like 'me' on the inside, if that makes sense. (plus, I had a hysterectomy a couple years ago and I am so GLAD to be over the whole period thing-- But that doesn't necessarily happen to everyone in their 40s... ) I say embrace and enjoy your 40s!! Happy Birthday!!
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theshyone
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Post by theshyone on Jul 16, 2015 5:23:12 GMT
I turn 40 on Saturday and I am freaking out a bit. I am definitely not where I thought I would be especially with my physical health and the anxiety and depression. I thought I would have a family by now too. I am really struggling with all of this and the depression wins at times and I feel alone. So why were your 40's better than your 30's? This is a huge birthday for me. I almost didn't make it to 40. Sorry but my 30's were blessed by two beautiful children, I may have chested death in my 40's but they certainly haven't been good.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2015 5:30:52 GMT
I've enjoyed every decade. I'll be 55 in a few months and have had a very rough ride for the past 6 years or so (with my health). I was pretty sad about turnning 40 and I was in the WORST health of my entire life. I couldn't dance too much (I was severely overweight), and it was an eye-opening time. Right after that I made a conscious decision to regain my health, and I went from a size 20 to a 2 and got on a very healthy path. By the time I was 41, I was the most fit and healthy that I ever was in my life!! The rest of my 40's was a fun, healthy, experimental, empowering time for me. I hope you enjoy your 40's. It's a time where you don't put up with crap and you are more choosy with everything.
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paget
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Jul 16, 2015 5:38:13 GMT
My 40s have been great- I turn 44 on Friday. I am more confident and just happier in general. you got this!
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conchita
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Post by conchita on Jul 16, 2015 5:39:41 GMT
I just turned 40 earlier this year. I'm loving it. I feel more beautiful than I have ever felt my entire life. Beautiful inside and out, simply because I have accepted who I am. I am more than my imperfections. I have a life worth living to its fullest even if it's just vegging out on back to back episodes of Wentworth on the weekend. I decide what is important. Societal and familial expectations don't guilt me into doing and being something different. I don't need to accomplish anything earth changing. I just need to enjoy what I have, give thanks and share what I am able. Plus I am surrounded by the best people on Earth, my husband and sons. It's a simple but fulfilling life that I am forever grateful for.
For your birthday, celebrate. Sure life sucks, but you don't. You're worth celebrating. Have an amazing 40th doing whatever will make you happiest!
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Deleted
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Apr 29, 2024 0:59:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2015 5:52:39 GMT
You are all awesome. I am working hard on my physical and mental health and hopefully all that will heal. It's kicking my butt right now. It normally gets worse around holidays and birthdays. But I appreciate all of you so very much!
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anniebygaslight
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 16, 2015 6:03:14 GMT
Every decade has its own rewards and its own hurdles. Never let fear get in the way of the adventure!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2015 6:28:22 GMT
Absolutely! Way better!
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tuesdaysgone
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Jul 16, 2015 10:34:16 GMT
Have courage! I enjoyed my 40s a great deal. I had more confidence than ever, cared way less about what others thought of me, and felt more secure and happy. I also went thru many challenges in that decade because my DH was facing a very serious health issue and was not working...but I had the strength to meet those challenges. I don't think I could have made it thru those difficult times as a 20-30 year old.
I'm about to turn 52 and I focus each day on enjoying my health and happiness. I'm not even close to where my younger self thought I'd be at 50, but I've learned to accept that. Fear and regret are too draining!
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 16, 2015 11:02:49 GMT
Every decade has its own rewards and its own hurdles. Never let fear get in the way of the adventure! I like the way valleyview worded this -- a nicely balanced view of the journey of life.
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Deleted
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Apr 29, 2024 0:59:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 16, 2015 11:15:47 GMT
I'm not a person who sees age as an indicator of anything, some times in my 30s were great some times were not so great. Same thing in my 40s, nothing to do with age just life being life.
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AllieC
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Post by AllieC on Jul 16, 2015 11:30:19 GMT
I am 49 and have really, really enjoyed my 40's. I've found that I am much kinder to myself - so much self loathing over the years about my body and other things. Now I realise that I've seen friends who have not made it to my age so I am really doing myself and my family a disservice if I don't make the most of my life.
My accepting myself and not stressing about being a certain weight etc, I've let myself enjoy life and in doing this have never been fitter or healthier but without stressing over every calorie. For me moderation has truly been the key.
I have also been less likely to be around people that make me unhappy. I am more tolerant of others in general but at the same time don't let anyone walk over me. I have less friends but closer ones.
Look forward to your 40's, they are awesome.
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Post by peasapie on Jul 16, 2015 11:53:14 GMT
I also loved my 40s. It's a time when we take inventory of where we've been and where we're going. You are in your prime--with knowledge you didn't have in your 20s. You're old enough to know better and young enough to reset your direction if you want, or to affirm where you're at. In my 40's I left a bad marriage, started my own business, and met and married a wonderful man. Enjoy that decade!
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Post by Merge on Jul 16, 2015 12:36:02 GMT
I agree with what everyone else has said. Forties are great. My friends who are in their fifties say that's great, too. My kids are past the diapers and play date stages and starting to become their own people and find their own niche, and that is a great joy to see. My career is solidifying and I feel good and confident about what I do. As others have said, I give fewer fucks (love that phrase) about what others think and am happier in my own skin.
It's all good. None of us is guaranteed tomorrow, so enjoy every minute.
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