|
|
Post by stampbooker on Jul 19, 2015 23:10:17 GMT
My 20 year old (who still lives at home, and I like it that way!) mentioned he had a dr. appointment later this week. I was surprised because he just recently had a physical. He told me he needed to see a urologist. I asked him why and he didn't want to share with me. He said it was nothing to be concerned about and he wasn't concerned about it, but his dr. thought it was something he should see a urologist about.
Would you be concerned?
Julie
|
|
Dani-Mani
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,706 
|
Post by Dani-Mani on Jul 19, 2015 23:12:13 GMT
I would be slightly concerned but wouldn't pry. Maybe it's something he's more comfortable sharing with his dad. Kudos for him being responsible about his health!
|
|
|
|
Post by gryroagain on Jul 19, 2015 23:14:00 GMT
I don't think it's helicopter at all to be concerned. 20 year olds are not known to be great at following up on their health, so to me- I'd be worried it's serious. Which is a shitty thing for me to tell you because I don't want you to worry, but that is my honest first thought. And that he is worried too and doesn't want to worry you right now.
|
|
gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
|
Post by gsquaredmom on Jul 19, 2015 23:17:14 GMT
That could be many things from nothing to something.
He will tell you when he is ready, likely after he sees the urologist. He does not want you to worry unless there is something to worry about.
|
|
LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
|
Post by LeaP on Jul 19, 2015 23:25:07 GMT
Concerned, yes, but also proud. He made the urologist appointment on his own and he is following the doctor's advice. I'm sure you will find out if and what it is soon.
|
|
|
|
Post by stampbooker on Jul 19, 2015 23:26:45 GMT
Thanks everyone. His appointment is on Thursday. I will try not to think about it too much in the mean time!
Julie
|
|
|
|
Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 19, 2015 23:50:08 GMT
Urologist could be something sexual, so I can see, why he wouldn't want to talk to you. Could be prostrate, penis, or testicles. Yea, I can't imagine he would want to discuss that with Mom
|
|
georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
|
Post by georgiapea on Jul 20, 2015 0:15:58 GMT
Well, yes, of course I'd be concerned. But I'd admire him for handling it on his own and pat myself on the back for (at least in this case) raising a son who can stand on his own 2 feet and take care of his life. And on Thursday evening I'd say "How did it go with the doctor"?
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 10:02:37 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2015 0:17:19 GMT
Urologist could be something sexual, so I can see, why he wouldn't want to talk to you. Could be prostrate, penis, or testicles. Yea, I can't imagine he would want to discuss that with Mom  This was my first thought, as well. |
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on Jul 20, 2015 0:20:51 GMT
It might be nothing. My son sees a urologist and has for a few years. He's got something that concerned his pediatrician and the urologist monitors it yearly. It's really nothing, they just want to make sure it grows properly and ends up working as it should. It ends up being me who takes him every year, though I think DH should ( I made DH take him the first time ) so far only monitored it.
Although after he is 18 there is no way I'll take him. The dr already warned me that when he turns 18, if everything is still fine, then they 'get' a sperm count and he doesn't have to come anymore. ( providing the count is fine ) I assure you my DS will not want me there for that and I have no desire to be. I'm not even sure DS knows how to provide them with a sperm count.
So maybe it's something simple that could be awkward for your DS. If he said not to worry then I wouldn't worry yet. ( at his age there's nothing you can do anyway ) you have to start to trust him to care for himself.
|
|
kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,513
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
|
Post by kate on Jul 20, 2015 1:28:02 GMT
Of course you're concerned; you're his MOM!
That said, I think you've done a great job raising your son. I'm guessing if it's something serious, he'll tell you.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 10:02:37 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2015 1:46:40 GMT
It might be nothing. My son sees a urologist and has for a few years. He's got something that concerned his pediatrician and the urologist monitors it yearly. It's really nothing, they just want to make sure it grows properly and ends up working as it should. It ends up being me who takes him every year, though I think DH should ( I made DH take him the first time ) so far only monitored it. Although after he is 18 there is no way I'll take him. The dr already warned me that when he turns 18, if everything is still fine, then they 'get' a sperm count and he doesn't have to come anymore. ( providing the count is fine ) I assure you my DS will not want me there for that and I have no desire to be. I'm not even sure DS knows how to provide them with a sperm count. So maybe it's something simple that could be awkward for your DS. If he said not to worry then I wouldn't worry yet. ( at his age there's nothing you can do anyway ) you have to start to trust him to care for himself. Do you go into the exam room? I'd wait in the waiting room for all his appointments unless he's under 12 or so. Even if by some really odd chance he wouldn't know how to provide a sperm count they will tell him. I honestly can't imagine a 18yo male who wouldn't know how to do that. |
|
|
|
Post by maryland on Jul 20, 2015 1:52:55 GMT
I would be proud of him for looking after his health! I can't imagine many 20 yr. old girls and boys being that concerned about their health to even go to a doctor. It may be something embarrassing to him (you know how teens/young adults are). I hope it all goes well.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 10:02:37 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2015 1:55:35 GMT
Being a concerned mom is not being a helicopter parent. Insisting you drive him to the appointment and speak to the doctor would be helicoptering.
eta: I'd be concerned and after the appointment (in the evening or when ever you normally see/talk with him) ask him if everything went ok at the appointment. Just ask and let him tell you as much or as little as he wants to tell you.
|
|
|
|
Post by bc2ca on Jul 20, 2015 2:01:06 GMT
I'd be concerned, but respect DS's request for privacy. TBH, I'd be happy he made the appt and shared that with me.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 10:02:37 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2015 2:04:02 GMT
I would definitely be concerned, but also feel relieved and proud to know he felt comfortable enough to at least share his appointment with you, and that he was responsible enough to see a doctor and follow-up as recommended. I hope it's something minor and easily addressed. My mom always tells me that you never stop being a mom, just because your kids reach a certain age, and I think worrying about our kids' health and well-being is just part of that whole mom-forever thing.  |
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on Jul 20, 2015 2:07:38 GMT
It might be nothing. My son sees a urologist and has for a few years. He's got something that concerned his pediatrician and the urologist monitors it yearly. It's really nothing, they just want to make sure it grows properly and ends up working as it should. It ends up being me who takes him every year, though I think DH should ( I made DH take him the first time ) so far only monitored it. Although after he is 18 there is no way I'll take him. The dr already warned me that when he turns 18, if everything is still fine, then they 'get' a sperm count and he doesn't have to come anymore. ( providing the count is fine ) I assure you my DS will not want me there for that and I have no desire to be. I'm not even sure DS knows how to provide them with a sperm count. So maybe it's something simple that could be awkward for your DS. If he said not to worry then I wouldn't worry yet. ( at his age there's nothing you can do anyway ) you have to start to trust him to care for himself. Do you go into the exam room? I'd wait in the waiting room for all his appointments unless he's under 12 or so. Even if by some really odd chance he wouldn't know how to provide a sperm count they will tell him. I honestly can't imagine a 18yo male who wouldn't know how to do that. They actually require a parent in the room when they do the sonogram. No One wants to be accused of anything. They are touching things that are what we always tell the kids shouldn't be. ( with the sonogram wand ) This is why I think his father ought to take the hour and bring him. But it's always me. Once he became 16 no parent required in the exam room unless DS wanted it but up until then the office required it. |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 10:02:37 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2015 2:49:26 GMT
Of course you're concerned; you're his MOM! That said, I think you've done a great job raising your son. I'm guessing if it's something serious, he'll tell you. This |
|
|
|
Post by RiverIsis on Jul 20, 2015 3:01:20 GMT
Have to be honest, in your situation, if I was able I would offer to drive him or drop him off and collect him after in case he is distracted or wants to talk. I have had some of the best (awkward) talks with my boys whilst driving. You have the right to worry but try not to, and hopefully he will be comfortable enough to let you know what is going on. FWIW I can't tell my mother anything. I will pretty much swear her to secrecy and then hear her on the phone telling a friend!  |
|
anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
|
Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 20, 2015 6:14:48 GMT
I'd be concerned, but respect DS's request for privacy. TBH, I'd be happy he made the appt and shared that with me. |
|
|
|
Post by k8smom on Jul 20, 2015 6:32:01 GMT
At 20, he's most likely embarrassed. I'm sure he will tell you after his appointment if it's anything serious.
|
|
|
|
Post by anniefb on Jul 20, 2015 6:41:51 GMT
I would be proud of him for looking after his health! I can't imagine many 20 yr. old girls and boys being that concerned about their health to even go to a doctor. It may be something embarrassing to him (you know how teens/young adults are). I hope it all goes well. I agree  |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 3, 2024 10:02:37 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2015 6:58:26 GMT
You get a Mother Worrying Card when you give birth. They make you take this new license upon birth of a baby (or babies) and you take it to the grave. It just is.
My son tells me when his toe hurts (it is hurting him right now) or if he needs teeth pulled, but I suspect he wouldn't tell me if he had to see a urologist. I would like him to think he could share that with me, but I don't think he would. He is just way too private to do anything like that. I am happy/amazed/thinking your son loves his mom a lot! for sharing that kind of information with you. That is great you have that close a relationship.
|
|
|
|
Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 20, 2015 7:56:02 GMT
I would be slightly concerned but wouldn't pry. Maybe it's something he's more comfortable sharing with his dad. Kudos for him being responsible about his health! I agree with this. I wouldn't pry, but just let him know that if he needs anything, he knows he can ask. He's an adult. Would you want him prying into your medical issues? |
|
This was my first thought, as well.
