craftchickapowpow
Full Member
My Circus My Monkeys
Posts: 206
Jun 26, 2014 16:12:18 GMT
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Post by craftchickapowpow on Jul 22, 2015 23:50:11 GMT
I need some help and I can't talk to anyone IRL about this. I have a friend that I like a lot but she's a dirty girl. Dirty like she doesn't shower, has dirt caked under her nails, doesn't wash her clothes, and she's a hoarder. Many of our mutual friends have tried talking to her about it but it's fallen on deaf ears. We are going on a church retreat soon with a large group of women and she will be doing some of the cooking. The thought of eating food she has prepared makes me ill. I am starting to feel really weird about her. I find myself avoiding her phone calls and texts and not wanting to do stuff with her anymore. I hate that I feel this way because I really do like her and would never want to see her hurt. She's not going to change so I'm hoping there is some way that I can just get over the ick factor. Possible???
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,229
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Jul 22, 2015 23:52:04 GMT
Is it possible to avoid the food she personally prepares?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 4:13:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2015 23:54:55 GMT
I don't mean to sound rude, but that would just disgust me beyond words. Does she had mental issues? Does she had other family who lives with her? Does she have small children whom she also lets stay dirty? I am sorry, I know I sound horrible, but, just yuck.
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garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,729
Location: So. Calif.
Member is Online
Jun 25, 2014 23:22:29 GMT
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Post by garcia5050 on Jul 22, 2015 23:58:32 GMT
I would be packing a few meal replacement bars for her meal.
sorry, just reread.i assumed she would prepare one meal, but it sounds like she will be helping in the kitchen, in general. I might actually eat that food, assuming she wasn't going to be the only one in the kitchen.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jul 23, 2015 0:03:46 GMT
Make sure you only eat the food that goes in the oven or is brought to a boil.
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Post by annabella on Jul 23, 2015 0:07:42 GMT
If mutual friends talk about her, why was she allowed to cook? Get everyone together and nominate someone else to cook. You have to be honest with her, tell her very politely, that she needs to shower more often or change deodorants. Maybe she doesn't have running water in her home?
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craftchickapowpow
Full Member
My Circus My Monkeys
Posts: 206
Jun 26, 2014 16:12:18 GMT
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Post by craftchickapowpow on Jul 23, 2015 0:27:27 GMT
She has running water, she lives in a very expensive home On the outside you'd never guess what the inside looks like. She has grown children and a husband. She has plenty of money, in fact I would consider her well off. I'm convinced that it's a mental health thing. I plan to talk to the other cooks and see if they will make sure that the hands are clean and the nails are scrubbed. That will get me through the retreat. After that, we'll see what happens with the friendship. I feel like a jerk because I know she's ill but dang.
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Post by cherrie on Jul 23, 2015 0:31:52 GMT
When I was in the work place...I could be in a bathroom stall and see the 2 sinks through a crack in the door. I would never eat anything a few co workers would bring for treat day because THEY DIDN'T WASH THEIR HANDS AFTER USING THE BATHROOM.....ICK!!
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Post by mollycoddle on Jul 23, 2015 0:33:52 GMT
I dunno, not a fan of interventions generally, but this sounds like a perfect case. I would not let her cook anything.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,171
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jul 23, 2015 1:09:13 GMT
Who asked her to work in the kitchen? Someone needs to let her know that she can't be part of the kitchen crew if she doesn't have clean hands.
My husband absolutely hates church potlucks due to fact that you have no idea what kind of kitchen the food was prepared in.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 4:13:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2015 1:31:10 GMT
Your pastor needs to have a sit down with her and her husband. Sounds like she has some early dementia problems.
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Post by Basket1lady on Jul 23, 2015 1:35:20 GMT
If you can't get her banned from the kitchen, make her wear gloves. Buy a big box, because you need a new pair every time you touch something and then need to wash your hands. That calls for a new pair of gloves.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,506
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
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Post by MorningPerson on Jul 23, 2015 1:37:42 GMT
When I was in the work place...I could be in a bathroom stall and see the 2 sinks through a crack in the door. I would never eat anything a few co workers would bring for treat day because THEY DIDN'T WASH THEIR HANDS AFTER USING THE BATHROOM.....ICK!! That's disgusting.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Jul 23, 2015 1:43:58 GMT
If you can't get her banned from the kitchen, make her wear gloves. Buy a big box, because you need a new pair every time you touch something and then need to wash your hands. That calls for a new pair of gloves. Buy a box of gloves and hairnets and suggest everybody wears them. Just for safety's sake, since the other women know the issue they should jump on board.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 23, 2015 1:44:20 GMT
I second the idea of using gloves. In fact, everyone should use them. Many people working with food in restaurants do anyway so it's not like it would be a weird request. If she's not willing to use gloves, then she should be told she can't help out in the kitchen.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
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Post by georgiapea on Jul 23, 2015 2:49:39 GMT
It's quite sad that she is so unclean but I would seriously talk to those running retreat about not having her preparing food. If someone got sick, regardless of the actual cause, it could be a big liability issue for the retreat hosts if it was known that she had worked in the kitchen.
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Post by meridon on Jul 23, 2015 2:51:32 GMT
I second the idea of using gloves. In fact, everyone should use them. Many people working with food in restaurants do anyway so it's not like it would be a weird request. If she's not willing to use gloves, then she should be told she can't help out in the kitchen. Great idea! That way she isn't being singled out.
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Post by mom on Jul 23, 2015 4:21:10 GMT
Ok - so if everyone knows she is unclean, why did they ask her to help in the kitchen? Weird.
I definitely think it is time to an intervention.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 23, 2015 5:54:50 GMT
My husband absolutely hates church potlucks due to fact that you have no idea what kind of kitchen the food was prepared in. Take the word 'church' out of that and you have described my husband. You need to tell her the truth.
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Post by gotranch on Jul 23, 2015 6:00:10 GMT
I second the idea of using gloves. In fact, everyone should use them. Many people working with food in restaurants do anyway so it's not like it would be a weird request. If she's not willing to use gloves, then she should be told she can't help out in the kitchen. Great idea! That way she isn't being singled out. Gloves and aprons too would be appropriate.
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Post by papersilly on Jul 23, 2015 6:48:03 GMT
I'm sorry, but it's going to take more than just gloves and an apron to get me to eat her cooking. There is her dirty hair and dirty clothes. The thought of dander shaking off into the food while it's being prepped is enough to make me ill.
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Post by gar on Jul 23, 2015 6:52:51 GMT
I don't mean to sound rude, but that would just disgust me beyond words. Does she had mental issues? Does she had other family who lives with her? Does she have small children whom she also lets stay dirty? I am sorry, I know I sound horrible, but, just yuck. It would seem she does if she doesn't wash and she's a hoarder. Talking to her probably won't help because I'm sure that intellectually she understands but she has fears of some sort that need professional help. The gloves idea is great or having the pastor talk to her and her husband together would be good.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 4:13:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 23, 2015 11:35:37 GMT
Putting on gloves is not enough, Unless you know how to put them on without touching the outside.
We all know hoarding disorder has a DSM-V classification, right? Poor hygiene is also a symptom of mental disorder. I hope you all can find a way for her family to get her some help.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Jul 23, 2015 11:46:06 GMT
With what you have described, your friend probably suffers from mental illness. I would have to back away from the retreat. I know my limits and could not deal with it.
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Post by not2peased on Jul 23, 2015 15:17:04 GMT
I'd flat out tell her she can't help in the kitchen if she won't shower and wash her hands.
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calgal08
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,519
Jun 27, 2014 15:43:46 GMT
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Post by calgal08 on Jul 23, 2015 17:25:21 GMT
She should not be in the kitchen, period. She should know the reason why. There's no way I'd be able to eat any food knowing she was within a few feet of it. Chances are, she doesn't wash her hands after using the bathroom and will not wash her hands before touching any food.
I'm sad to think she has a mental disorder, but even so, one of the event organizers needs to put on their big girl pants and tell her under no circumstances is she permitted in the kitchen.
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